Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Engage In Enjoyable Activities...

So, I went to my first Caregiver Support Session with a Psychologist to explore areas of optimum function as a Caregiver in situations most Challenging, balanced with keeping my own Head in a good place while doing so and avoiding Caregiver burnout.  It wasn't that it was so Enlightening really, I already knew what to do so nothing was a Fresh Revelation.  The Challenge is actually in finding Creative ways to be about doing it, since Caregiving can consume you and monopolize your quality of Life and ALL of your time.

So for me it turns out to be most beneficial as a brainstorming Session with someone Qualified to give an Objective yet Professional Opinion about a very difficult situation that none of us can actually Change.   That would take Magic and Miracles, so in keeping my expectations Realistic about not having Magical Powers and waiting upon any Miracles that The Lord might dole out, in the interim I'm seeking Sound Advice from a Trusted Source.

It helps that this Psychologist just happens to be a Traumatic Brain Injury Specialist and deals with a lot of Disabled Veterans.  He's very good and just happens to be The Man's Doctor too, so he knows firsthand what I'm dealing with for just one of the three I'm Caregiver of.   And if I ever have to drag one of The G-Kid Force along with me on a Session he'll get to know firsthand what I'm dealing with regarding The Others too!  *LOL*

Almost right away he indicated from all the Questionnaire results I had to fill out that Caregiving seems to be the entire catalyst for me needing the Sessions. That was Good News, apparently apart from Caregiving I'm NOT a Head Case and am Psychologically Sound!?  *LMAO*   You just never know, since after dealing with chronic illness and Crisis of Loved Ones for decades and knowing it isn't likely to change very much in a Positive way, the Head can end up in a very tenuous Space!  *Smiles* 

I do know myself well enough to have Self-Realization of what I'm Struggling with and what for me wouldn't be a problem if exterior forces weren't at play to deal with.   I know that every day I wake up Happy and Optimistic for the New Day ahead, with the Belief every day is a Gift of Time, our most Precious Resource.  It's just how I'm Hard-Wired and I can't tell you how Thankful I am about that, since Clearly not everyone is and that's their Personal Struggle within.

Since I've always considered myself an Empath my Struggle lies more with exterior forces beyond my Control that can upset a Good Day from playing out with ease, since I'm very Sensitive to the Mental or Emotional State of those around me.   You see, when those I'm Caregiving for have a Good Day, I'm having a Good Day, it's a 'Given'.   Because the Atmosphere around me deeply affects me... Positive Energy from within Sustains me only so far when Negative Energy from the outside threatens my Peace and Zen.

When Others are having a Bad Day or Suffering Mental or Emotional Anguish it is palpable to me in the Atmosphere around them and I Feel it strongly so it can affect my day and even my own Mood.   Now, though I have Control over my own Feelings and Actions, I have the Wisdom to know that none of us have Control over the Feelings and Actions of Others, we're not meant to.  

 So, you can't always Fix the situation to make it better for them... even sometimes you can't... it is what it is for them when chronic illness or disability is their daily Challenge.   None of them actually needs 'Fixing' since I don't consider them Broken and a disability does not define all of who and what they are anyway.  You can just be an Encouragement to them and have Empathy for them... and loads of Patience.   Did I ever tell you that though Encouragement and Empathy are Strengths I possess... Patience is NOT one of my particular Virtues?  *Winks*

So Guidance on what to do when I'm beginning to Feel Anxious, Stressed, Overwhelmed or Depressed due to Circumstances beyond my Control that must be dealt with daily is a Quest I'm on to avoid Burnout or Breakdown.   And so that I, at least, remain in the Fruits of the Spirit even if all Hell is breaking loose around me.  Particularly when The Others are not getting along and playing well with Others and a lot of Mediation has to take place with me as Referee!  *Winks* 

Have you ever been in a situation where two {or three} people are being Confrontational, Difficult or Unlovely towards one another and it's just Uncomfortable and completely Unnecessary what they're fussing or trifling about?   But Reason and Logic would not Influence any of them due to Medical barriers that cloud their overall Judgment, Emotional Filters and Mood Regulation abilities?   See how complex it can immediately become to effectively Mediate that situation so that you don't have an escalated situation or lose your ever-lovin' Mind!?!  *LOL*  That happens daily around here, usually several times daily in fact!

There can be Peace, Calm and Serenity prevailing and then BAM, out of Left Field you're blindsided by a Meltdown in progress!  *Uh Oh, there's Trouble in Paradise!*   Sometimes just one is melting down... but often it's a Chain Reaction and they begin to fall like Dominoes 'til two... then three succumb and are now engaged in mutual meltdowns!   Usually because tho' each is prone to regular individual meltdowns and Unloveliness, they don't tolerate the meltdowns or Unloveliness of The Others very well.  Oddly it doesn't incite Pity but instead only serves to arouse Irritation amongst them.

So I am in Charge of Peacekeeping... which is kinda like keeping The World at Peace with one another really, a Lovely Ideal that rarely happens in Reality.  For those of us who lead a Peaceful Existence Naturally and remain in Harmony easily with Others it's hard to understand why some cannot Manage it even on a semi-regular basis?   It's a Human Mystery I suppose, even many who don't have Clinical Diagnosis that can be somewhat of an Explanation as to why they Struggle with being Peaceful and Harmonious, can be Afflicted... so alas, it's not so unusual a Human Condition.

And though the Clinical Diagnosis is an Explanation as to why my Trio Struggle with Peace and Harmony Socially and Emotionally I never allow it to be an Excuse.   Those Tormented and Tortured in their own Souls, Minds and Spirits often Torment and Torture the living daylights out of Others.  So we constantly Work on that... CONSTANTLY... a LOT of Work on that!  *Ha ha ha*   And my own Work on myself therefore has to be my Health Behavior Change Plan with brainstorming Sessions with said Psychologist. 

 Which includes Creative ways to Engage in Enjoyable Activities for myself and other ways to reduce and release Anxiety and Stress in a Life filled with both daily.   Since I can't always Get Out and Escape much, one Plan of Action is to Engage in Photography with my New Camera around the Home and Grounds of New Villa Boheme' for Blog Fodder... and Blog more.   Doing both is my Happy Place from Home that I can eek out some Me Time doing on a regular enough basis to make it Therapeutic.  

Of coarse another way would be to lose myself in Creating Art... but with that it's more Challenging to not have an Entourage vying to Participate, which isn't so Relaxing for ME!   They run when they see me with a Camera thinking they will be the Subject Matter of the Pathological Picture Taker... and Blogging, well, I know none of them ever reads this and shows little or no Interest in it, so I'm at Peace to do it uninterrupted some of the time.  Actually so few people I know in Real Life are interested in Blogs, which is why it is almost like a Diary Journal I Share with a different Circle and Community of Kindred Spirits. 

So, my Land of Blog Community Friends, be Prepared for more Photography and Blog Posts since it's exactly what the Doctor Ordered, literally!   In this Grand Experiment of keeping Dawn's Head on straight thru the daily demands of full time Caregiving!  *Winks*  May we all remain Calm, Peaceful and Well... Namaste!


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Well, I for one, enjoy---no adore---your picture taking, and I empathize with your journey. I had about 15 years of schlepping to another state to assist my parents. And, eventually living there for about 2 1/2 years at least half-time. Being upbeat and not beaten down is THE challenge. Blessings to you and yours, and for sure, I will join this journey you are on. Sandi==PS, after having a creative life full-time for 35 years, I have had minimal time to do that, still--so don't let those creative juices dry up---for the well may go completely dry.

    1. Thank you for the Encouraging Words Sandi, especially appreciated Today, been a tough couple of days. I agree that you have to keep the Creative Juices flowing to avoid a dry spell. I would like to Create something Beautiful every day so try to set Goals for myself to do at least one Beautiful Inspired thing a day... whether Art, Decorating, improving the Landscape, Blogging, Photography, rescuing something Beautiful so that it will still exist, etc... I too Assisted my Aging Parents for many, many years but luckily at the time they both lived Locally. Dad is gone now and Mom is in Cali where my Brother took over looking out for her, she is in Hospice and I was fortunate to finally get to see her recently, perhaps for the last time, we're not sure. Thanks for coming for a Blog visit. Blessings... Dawn... The Bohemian


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl