Saturday, June 4, 2016

When Doves Cry

I admit, I didn't have just the right Hook that would be an appropriate and Positive enough Title for this random Post... and so, since my lead Images are of my latest Cheap Taxidermy score of a Dove in flight, well, Prince's song title just came to mind.  *LOL*   I HAD to do some inexpensive Retail Therapy since bad things just keep stacking up and happening lately so I needed to soothe and Calm down about how I felt about all that.

I don't want a lot of Negativity or Drama in my Life, in fact, I prefer to surround myself with Positive Energy whenever possible and Share Positive experiences.   But it's been a particular challenge lately with the string of tough luck and hard knocks Life... so I haven't felt my loveliest lets just suffice to say... I've been rather pissed off actually.  You know how when things you cannot control are already at Crisis level and then that one last straw and trifle sends you right over the edge?  Something that was really scary and irritating, all at once and so gave way to a wide range of intense emotion!

Well, I had THAT experience the other day... that last straw experience, where I'm like... REALLY??!??  Give me a break already... and then I had a when Doves Cry Moment to myself I guess, relieved nothing really awful happened, even tho' I hadn't been sure it wouldn't and that was Terrifying!?  Okay so now you're gonna wanna know what the trifle was that sent me over the edge aren't you?  And everyone knows that when you feel a real injustice, well, you just wanna Share it to get it off your chest, so here goes... *LOL*

So take a comfy seat and commiserate with me since it will make me feel better, okay?  *winks*   As most of you already know I've been dealing with some really serious health issues of my own and heavy trials involving a variety of things, culminating with knowing my Mom is dying and very near her time, so I've been trying to Save for that pilgrimage to California to say Good-Bye in time.  It's been a lot all at once to Cope with as it is, so I didn't need a quite unnecessary one piled on top of it all to break the Camel's back.

I'll set the Stage to why this particular incident was such a point of contention with me by saying that in our old municipality we had been the Victims of some relentless Crime sprees involving our Old Property and the decline of Urban areas that had once been a nice place to live.   Vandalism, Break-Ins, Graffiti, Thefts and the like... and the local Law Enforcement had gone Soft on us being Victimized numerous times, taking it lightly in fact.  Even once they finally caught the perpetrator red handed and did virtually nothing in the way of Justice nor Restitution for the hundreds of dollars worth of damages of just the one incident!!!   But then to go Hard on any minor traffic violation, even being downright petty, well, it's just an irony that does not set well with me.  I feel doubly Victimized in fact.

So, here I was after Working my Late Shift and already having had the worst day ever all around due to a slew of additional bad news involving Loved Ones.  I'm in the same municipality and driving down a very Rural Road with nothing but Corn Fields and no traffic for miles in any direction at 10:30 at Night in the pitch dark, alone and thus quite vulnerable.  But we live Rural now... to get Home I'm always gonna be at some point on a rural road now coming or going from the City.  Every intersection out here in the midst of practically nowhere is four way stops, and after I'd made one and began to accelerate, imagine my Surprise that all of a sudden there are lights and sirens behind me!??!?   WTF, there hadn't even been any vehicles behind me, so it was just surreal, did the Patrol Car come out of the Corn?!?  *LOL*

I quickly pull over onto the soft shoulder to let him by, assuming he was on an Emergency Call, since I hadn't done anything wrong to my knowledge to assume he was stopping me.  I had only just stopped at the intersection behind me and was barely accelerated to about 15 miles an hour so I felt completely innocent of any wrongdoing.   Au contraire, he was stopping me!  WTF?  He proceeds with the line of questioning, some of it seemingly quite random and a bit weird, while blinding me with a flashlight right in the eyes!  He didn't like I handed him a temporary registration... Ummm... well, it's a brand new vehicle!   Why was I on this road?  {Public Road???!!!} Where was I going, what was I doing?  {Why?} Did I know why he was stopping me?  Nope, I honestly have no Idea... and he didn't tell me either, for quite some time as he kept me there at the side of the road for a very long time... as he went back to his own vehicle and I waited... and waited... getting more and more unsettled about the whole stop.  Was this guy even a Cop?  My Mind was racing... I wanted some other cars to show up so I'd have a Witness!

By now I'm feeling not at all Safe as I realize, nary a vehicle is coming past and quite a bit of time has elapsed.  I'm a Woman alone, pulled over in the middle of Cornfields at Night by an armed young Man who hasn't even told me why and had gotten quite bully-ish and was going Hard.  When there was no need to be since I hadn't argued and was being totally cooperative, though Clueless, about what I'd allegedly done wrong to be stopped in the first place?  Lots of thoughts began to go thru my Mind about Safety concerns. I thought about trying to dig thru my purse to find my Cellphone and call The Man, tell him what was going on and leave it on speaker phone so he could hear whatever went down.  But I was fearful to make any sudden moves... folks been getting shot lately doing that even if they haven't done anything wrong and are unarmed.  It's been all over the News, very tragic stuff!   Don't wanna risk ending up a tragic statistic of a nervous, agitated or trigger happy individual with the distinct advantage! 

But then again, don't wanna end up a tragic statistic at all... and the whole situation was making me very unsettled and nervous since I still couldn't fathom why I was even pulled over in the first place and he wasn't telling me yet!?  He finally comes back in what had seemed like an eternity, shoving paperwork in my face and telling me he was citing me for running a Stop sign at the intersection behind me!  Huh?   But I did Stop I began to say... he cut me short, clearly irritated and said that I hadn't stopped long enough!   Ummm... Okay, so we're in the middle of desolate Farmland with no vehicles anywhere around and so how long is long enough when you come to a deserted intersection I Wondered?  One second, two, five, hell I dunno?  But clearly it wasn't long enough in his opinion and that's all that mattered right here and now... so just shut up and deal with it I thought so he'll let you go.

 Had I actually done a California Roll when clearly nothing was coming from any direction for miles and I was on a long stretch of road alone late at Night?  Perhaps, I couldn't even say if I did or not for sure... but given the surroundings, did it really freakin' matter I wondered?  And honestly I don't care now after the fact since it's quite the nit-pickin' trifle either way and certainly no reason to scare the hell out of a vulnerable single female alone at Night, by the way he handled it.  But I for sure wasn't gonna argue with this guy with the surly Attitude and a gun, that's for sure.  He was determined to give a Ticket and a lecture and I was just wanting to get Home and Safely!  So I kept quiet and Polite even tho' on the inside I was now thinking, ummmm... why don't ya'll go this Hard on Real Crimes and Criminals, like all those times when we'd been Victims and you acted Soft about it and seemed not to give a Rat's Ass or give an ounce of Justice?!? 

 Oh, and yeah, the Ticket is a hefty one... I might as well have blown thru that intersection without even slowing down, same Fine as if your tires barely move and you "don't stop long enough" or whatever the perception was!  It just seems excessive punishment for a trifle... and Real Criminals get off Light... that's my bone of contention.  That and now I'm paranoid as hell about stopping "long enough" anytime I'm at a freakin' Stop sign!  *LOL*  No, I really am after this and I find myself stopping for a stupid amount of time, just to be damned sure!?  Since it's gonna cost me close to four hundred bucks or several Court Appearances to fight it!  I'm opting to just pay, I don't have it in me to see this guy again and work myself up into staying Angry and bitter, going to Court and having it be this molehill made into a mountain... I want to just let it go and remain Peaceful.  I feel like a Warning might have been the more appropriate measure in this situation... even tho' I'm still not convinced or entirely sure I did anything Lawless... nor reckless.  His opinion versus mine, bottom line is his trumps mine and it's gonna cost a lot even if I'm completely innocent... and that creates undue hardship upon my Family, so I resent it... a LOT.

And I ain't gonna lie, tho' I am Joe Citizen with no criminal record, am retired from the District Attorney's Office and enjoy being a law abiding Citizen, from both a Victim's standpoint and an incident like this I find myself barely Trusting, having Confidence in or even the level of Respect that I used to for those that work in that particular municipality especially.  Too many Negative experiences have now made me cynical, jaded, guarded and distrustful.   Taking frustrations of a tough job out on the least able to defend themselves... or during minor traffic violations is certainly not the answer for healthy PR in the Community in which you Serve and are called to Protect, it creates a climate of public distrust and fear instead.  We shouldn't have to fear those sworn in to Protect and Serve us... there's fear enough from the Criminal Element of Society victimizing many of us.

 I am now beginning all the more to relate to those Communities that no longer have Trust at all and a disdain from not being properly Served nor Protected or have even at times been Violated.   And that is Sad because I know there are probably far more who do the Job well, Care deeply, and I know put their lives on the line daily, so I want to feel differently than I actually do.  The Man used to be a Police Officer, so he's particularly irate when someone tarnishes what should be a Respected Field of Work by not being up to the job.  Or sends his Wife Home crying her eyes out from such a nerve racking  and scary experience.  But those that don't and use the uniform and badge as a Power Trip, to mistreat folks or lack proper response and compassion for Victims of Crimes, well, they really mess it up for the rest... in the PR department with the rest of us... where a few bad apples are risking spoiling the whole bunch.  And that is indeed a dangerous thing for everyone concerned... because the whole World is watching and taking sides, you can be sure of that.


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Dawn, I know you don't want to, but you need to go before the judge and tell him what happened. This cop is going to kill someone. They screen them with basic psychological tests, but don't catch all the bad ones on a power trip. It will go on his record and he may not even show up at court. I would also contact his sergeant and the investigative unit at the PD. He shouldn't get away with that. At least he will have some complaints filed against him. Go, and write those letters with copies to the chief, etc. He'll be sorry he messed with you. A terrible thing to have to do at this point, but a necessary one.

    1. After talking to others in that particular Community that have filed complaints {we've filed some in the past ourselves} it has actually often made things worse. That is one of the main reasons we moved, I would like not to have to even drive thru that jurisdiction at all anymore, but unfortunately my Work is within it's municipality. The area has deteriorated terribly in recent years for a variety of reasons, this being just one of many of them, which is unfortunate. I just don't need harassment or retaliation if nothing is handled... I'm just Thankful to no longer be living in that community anymore as it circles the drain. Now I avoid all rural routes until I'm in a completely jurisdiction, that is my answer to remaining safe and not targeted. I've got too much else that is monumental right now to be dealing with to be fighting lost causes and draining precious energy and limited resources. It was tempting to go to all the Court Dates and seek Justice... and I believe you are right, this guy is not someone I trust with the measure of authority he has been entrusted with. Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. DANG----last time I was stopped---I rolled down the window....smiled Pointed to my windshield and community sticker, pointed at my phone which was on and recording ---and smiled and said...and said, Probable Cause?, officer (I was driving our dilapidated pickup which had taken out a whole herd of deer ---and was quite banged up)---and was on my way to work---through a ritzy subdivision --as the crow would fly to get to work.

    but it was daylight---and Im sure the night thing, I would have kept the windows shut and called 911---just to be safe

    seriously I would represent myself and show up in court...just to get it on the record, but then---who knows.

    commiserations from Chicagoland, Sandi


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl