Saturday, April 2, 2016

I've Spared You The Bane Of My Existence

Yes, I have on purpose spared you the bane of my existence with my stories here in the Land of Blog and kept recent Posts lighter and Positive.   I used to vent more about the Issues of Life in my Posts when I didn't think too many peeps were probably even reading them, it was cathartic. 


If I was up against some heavy Issues that were a cause of great distress or annoyance I'd just have a good rant on a Blog Post... felt good to release it in Anger and Frustration publicly rather than privately.  But in hindsight... dispelled Negativity upon stuff that was already way too Negative for me to handle and cope with in the Fruits of the Spirit just made it bigger!  I knew it just should be squashed, so why Magnify it in the storytelling of it!?   Just seemed to give it larger Life and more Attention than it deserved.

But there's been Stuff... heavy duty Stuff that I've been Dealing with... or failing to Deal with as well as I'd like to since it's out of my Control... I just haven't been Blogging about hardly any of it.   Those I am closest to are in the loop and really it's Okay to keep that circle small in the Sharing of any Negative Stuff going on right now in my life.   I don't seem to Need so much anymore that broader audience that might commiserate, sympathize or relate, though that always feels good to know I'm not the Lone Ranger.  *Smiles* 

I Needed it more during certain Life Issues I suppose... but not so much in others... that commonality of suffering thru some heavy Stuff, but not so Alone.   Sometimes when you're 'going through' it's just Welcome to know others have been Survivors of whatever it is and come out the other side so that you Feel a lot more Hopeful and Uplifted as you navigate the rough waters of particular Issues.  Sometimes someone going thru it right now at the same time you are gives you a common bond and camaraderie that is quite meaningful and therapeutic!  

And then lets face it, some things just go on so long with no end that you finally get to a place you quit venting and Sharing it so publicly anymore because what's the point?   It just is what it is... shut up, Deal with it and concentrate more exclusively on the Good Stuff... the Light Stuff that lifts the Heaviness off your Heart and Mind.   That's what my Blog Topics seem to be Serving me best with right now... the Lighthearted Stuff opposed to the banes of my existence being expressed in a forum.

Or even just letting on publicly that any horrible things recently happened and you're flailing sometimes to Deal with it and Cope with a measure of Grace and your Sanity intact!   I remember always Smiling at an old crass saying that folks often put on a bumper sticker of their vehicles "shit happens"... yes, yes it does... to us all... none are immune, but some of us have gone from a shitty happening to another to the point of it threatening to disturb our Peace.  I am rather protective of my Peace not being disturbed... I like my Peace!  *Smiles*

So... when all Hell has been breaking loose around me I find it just better to find those things that will make me still Smile and bounce back as quickly as I can. Not to rush and go on a good rant Post spewing it out into cyberspace... tho' perhaps I will confide in my Inner Circle so I won't implode under the Pressure of keeping a lid on it and not venting at all.  *Smiles... Sorry to those of you who know who you are and are my consistent sounding board and unpaid Therapy!  LOL*

There is the reciprocity of Sharing with a select few that you know totally 'get it' and you, things that not everyone might understand completely or view similarly. Finding and confiding mutually with those Kindred Spirits that can help you to Laugh thru the Pain and poke Fun at the Ugly and Dark Stuff... the really Gnarly Stuff until it's downright Comical.  Yeah, the Twisted few of us who in the telling of our Trials and Tribulations to each other Privately, will stare the Unlovely Beast of it directly in the face and try to see something redeemable to still Bless that Hot Mess and bane that has been Created in our lives!? 

I'm no Freud, but I often Wonder if I don't choose voluntarily to Live with and around some Ugly Stuff that I now Cherish, but know would repel others just because I've HAD to live with some pretty Ugly stuff of Life involuntarily for so long?  Long enough that I've had to learn to view it quite objectively and differently than most others would and embrace it as something that is just a part of the Life Experience and often co-exists with us.  Learning how to Live Positively in a Negative or Hostile environment takes a certain finesse.  Seeing any Beauty in the Unlovely takes scrutiny to locate it!

In the Old Neighborhood for example there were some pretty Funky Characters roaming about doing Life their way much to the chagrin of others.  It was rather like a Freak Show and Sideshow of Humanity and I really tried not to harden my Heart and be callous in dehumanizing that segment of Society that isn't walking in the Light and seems to have no moral compass.  Which isn't as easy as one might think if you're on the receiving end of their bad choices being made on a consistent basis.   I'm not totally out of the Old Hood yet as we are still Caretakers of the Historic Property until we get it Sold... so Deal with it still we must... but I don't always like to.  I want that Chapter Closed!

In fact, if any of you has spent a great deal of time in a Major Metropolis Urban Sprawl you probably have your own Stories that could make quite the Interesting Mini Series... or Headlines... or Ten O'Clock News!?   I just got weary of all that and my much more Zen Existence on the fringe of the Urban Scene, closer to Nature and a Peacefulness, has really grown on me to the point I've Changed in a good way I think.   I'm much more focused upon the Positives even when some of the Negatives are swirling around us and trying to hitch a ride out here to our New Sanctuary in the way of Stresses and Strains... and Issues of Life!

Though I am still somewhat in Solitary Confinement with the Caregiving Thang, I look forward to the Cheerfulness and Bright Social Contacts I can have at least once a Month with Friends.  It helps dispel a lot of the Isolation... though with living so close now to the Natural Desert again I'm learning more to Embrace the Isolation and the Quiet aspects of such an Environment, which indeed has it's merits.  Being Alone is not the same as being Lonely... so my Alone time is Cherished... and I'm just learning to be more Creative about Connecting to others in order to keep Loneliness and feelings of Isolation at bay too.

Talking almost exclusively about the Positive Stuff is so much more Uplifting anyway isn't it?  It's Food for the Soul to be around Positive Energies and Positive Conversation... things that the Negative Stuff of Life tries to starve you of so that you might perish.   For a big Gal like me you KNOW I'm not going without my Soul Food... or any other kind of Food for that matter!  And that's why I don't look like I'm starving... ever!  *Winks*

And this Post I suppose was just to let you know, that during the absences from Blogging I'm probably just Dealing with some banes of my existence and not much up to telling a Story at all... because it would probably be an unpleasant one... and I'm trying to just avoid doing that as much as I'm able. 

  To not feed the Beast of Negativity and just let the damn thing starve to death!  Or at the very least wander off looking for Attention and sustenance elsewhere, where it can get a spotlight and be dwelled upon as a topic of conversation.   I'd much rather share my spotlight with that which is Positive right now... since I can Control what I Blog about... even if I can't always Control what Negativity happens to us in Real Life.

Wish I could... coz you KNOW what a Control Freak I am!!!  *Winks*


Blessings, Positive Energies and Light against the Darkness coming to you from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Bless You Dawn! You've had more than your share of ugliness in your life for sure! But I agree don't feed it! Bring the positive to the forefront for your own good! I'm in your corner though and want to give encouragement always! With Love Marlynne

    1. You always have Encouraged my Friend and I can't Thank you enough! I look forward to your regular visits here in the Land of Blog! Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Without darkness, there is no light. Life is contrasts and rollercoasters. We love Balloon rides and endure the trainwrecks,
    but we go on. The point is to find some value to it all.

    “When we want to give expression to a dramatic situation in our lives, we tend to use metaphors of heaviness. We say that something has become a great burden to us. We either bear the burden or fail and go down with it, we struggle with it, win or lose. And Sabina...Her drama was a drama not of heaviness but of lightness. What fell to her lot was not the burden, but the unbearable lightness of being.”
    ― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

    Strange book, but definitely an interesting read. We choose to see it one way or the other, so we go on. I always enjoy any of your posts, visually the journey is stunning, but I find reading your words the same. Sandi


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl