But I had THOUGHT my Plan of Action would actually Play Out in Real Time... I might have even unpacked two actual boxes one day *Smiles*... I don't even remember really, but I MIGHT have... and then I went into a Deep Stall it seems and not a whole lot has been done since then towards that Goal. I've piddled around a bit bringing one or two random items in that I could make a quick decision about decisively. You know, without Waffling or having any Anxiety about the decision... but only because they were going to be a Kept Item I suspect... and I had an immediate use or place for them!? *LOL*
And then you end up in some sort of sic Relationship with some of it, where Banishing it just tugs at your Heartstrings and you wrestle with whether to let it stay, even though really you should evict it! Yes, the Beast of Clutter and Too Much isn't ALL hideous looking to you, apart from the rest it can look so stinkin' Cute and have fond Memories of the time spent with it... together... and how you met... and all that Sentimental crap that it now uses against you in an effort to be able to stay! So it's not like you can look at the whole and separate it from the sum of it's parts. As a whole, in a pile or all boxed up it would seem easier to just pack it up and move it out!
But when you consider what COULD be in that pile... or that box... that you really do not want to Banish, or at least you want to give it a chance to present it's Case as you Mull over it one last time... therein is the Agony of Defeat in some Cases. The Man knows that about me, he knows that if I just put it in the vehicle and carted it off to some Charity I'd be done with it in one fell swoop, like I want to be. But faced with the consideration of Donate... Sell... Keep? Well, now I'm faced with three Options for each and every Thing in that pile or that box... oy vey... and that Process is much more tedious and exhausting on so many levels!
I could see the Value he'd placed on Objects weighed heavily upon him as he was trying to Negotiate a Deal and to Let Go of as much as he possibly could, and it was such a Struggle he turned it over to me to Finalize and clench The Deal. For him at least once that money was in his hot little hands he didn't think twice about what he'd Let Go of and struggled with relinquishing, a Milkshake and a Nice Luncheon to Celebrate left him with Amnesia about it all! *Ha ha ha* Oh, how I Wish it were just that easy for me! Turn it over to someone else and Trust them to just dispose of it all and be Happy with my Windfall from it! But it's NOT just that easy for me, so I haven't... because I AM this sappy Sentimental Soul, it's my Achilles Heel, I Swear it is!
I fall in Love and get Attached too easily and too strongly... and once a Relationship is formed and forged, it's strong as hell... whether it be with a Person or a Thing, I'm Tenacious about Resisting having to Let Go and move on. I don't Logically follow Dad's Sage old Advice about, "If the Horse is dead Dawn, GET OFF!" *LOL* Yep, I can hear Dear Ole Dad's Wisdom loudly ringing in my ears to this day, Dad wasn't long on Sentiment and was not only a Man of few Words, but a Man of few Things. He was the Antithesis of being Materialistic, Clearly I did not Inherit that Gene and take after him! *Smiles* Nope, Dad's Native American tendency to Travel Light often wars with my Mom's European proclivity to Have It All and Display It Proudly... in the blood coursing through MY veins! *LMAO*
Mom's side usually Wins most of those Battles raging in my blood since I take after her more in what I like to surround myself with. And it's a Good Thing she's not here in person Enabling me, because she'd be talking me OUT of getting rid of some really Cool Stuff! *Winks* That European Cottage Cozy Layered Excess is just her Style so she'd see nothing at all Wrong with having Too Much of a Good Thing, nope, not at all! *Smiles*
Yes, I know that I have an Infatuation for Ruins... and even for that Miss Havisham Look in fact... but it has to Look Just So for me to be Okay with it... not just a Cluttered Hot Mess that ruins how a Home functions and looks! If something does not have a place then I'm definitely not Okay with it just laying around... and I'm not a big Fan of Storage. Hard for you to Believe that I'm sure, but my Closets and Storage Buildings by and large remain quite Organized when I'm NOT in the Process of a Big Move, so whatever is in there does not look haphazard or like a bad episode of Hoarders. Usually the only items I even want in Storage are Seasonal Decor and things I intend to Sell and are Inventory waiting in the wings for the Showrooms to have more Display Space to hawk them.
But I had reached Critical Mass and the Downsizing Process began in Earnest a couple of years ago actually and just ramped up with the Big Move. It just seemed the Perfect Timing to be disposing of Excess and Culling, Curating and Editing the Hoard of Great Stuff that had accumulated and threatened to take over and manipulate how Life unfolded. I wanted to have Stuff, but I didn't want Stuff to have me. That Insidious Beast of Too Much Of A Good Thing cluttering up my Home, my Life and my Time was beginning to aggravate me so that it had to GO! I had fully embraced that Truth in my Head, but my Heartstrings could still be tugged from time to time in The Process of Letting Go in an Epic Purge.
Some days its just too daunting to tackle full on... and so Procrastination sets in and I'll do it later... and then that timeline gets set back some more... until I know I'm putting off on Purpose what needs to get done. And what irks me is that I'm NOT a Procrastinator by Nature... and I abhor when people are... so I don't want to get caught up in that nasty habit and be one of those people! Tho' now I completely understand how it can become a way of Being... it's easier to find Excuses not to do things, it really is. You absolve yourself from the responsibility of doing what has to get done if you but Procrastinate long enough in the doing of it that the Excuses began to even seem Logical and Justified!
But they're NOT Logical nor Justified really... just a Postponement of the inevitable... and unless you have Staff to get those things done that you really don't want to have to do, well, it'll sit there waiting for you to get around to doing it... eventually. I do look at that Garage Mess every time I drive in... yes, I can still drive in *Whew* so I tell myself it's not gone past the point of ridiculousness and no chance or Hope of Redemption yet! *Ha ha ha* We can even still get out of the Jeep without a lot of contortions or anything... and I haven't driven over anything yet... but it's only a matter of time unless I get busy with it!
And I've even resorted to really Crazy Comparison Ideals, like peeping in the open Garages of other people in the New Neighborhood to see if theirs looks worse than mine? Like somehow, if most of them are, that will make it Okay?! *Bwahahahah!* Unfortunately, only about half are worse than mine... and I tend to Compare myself instead with those with the Tidy and Insanely Organized Garage Spaces that look like The Love It Or List It Team just did an Episode on their Homes and they had Hilary at their disposal! *Le Sigh* I NEED a Hilary as my Sidekick, I really do, this place would look Fabulous in no time and she'd keep me accountable with what isn't Sane or Normal. *Winks*
Because yes, I am Aware that some of what I want to Keep is not Sane or Normal, well, by the Standards of your Average Person anyway. All the other Quirky People out there will 'Get' me and 'Feel' me on what I stubbornly refuse to relinquish to the To Go Piles. Normal is overrated to be sure, but my Abnormal Obsession with some Odd and seemingly meaningless things knows no bounds. And I disguise a lot of it so you wouldn't necessarily know the depth of my Addictions and Obsessions, especially when it comes to the Smalls that don't take up a lot of Space so I can easily Justify the Hoarding of them. *LOL* Yep, this Vintage Halloween Canister is just one of the many Clever ways I disguise a Tiny Hoard... it's in there, hidden from view, so it only APPEARS that I've kept one Special Thing, the large Tin! *Bwahahahaha and an Evil Cackle!*
Sometimes I Delight myself in just going thru my Tiny Hoards, like a Tiny Hoard Miser of sorts reveling in what I've amassed! Yep, Clearly I'm not a Well Woman, but I've come to terms with the Reality that it's how I must be Hard Wired because breaking myself of some of these Quirks has been highly unsuccessful. But, the Great Editing and Purging continues nonetheless towards a Goal of at least having more Organized Obsessions that are more carefully Curated and Displayed so that it looks less Chaotic and can Intrigue Guests rather than Horrify them into thinking they surely must run an Intervention on my behalf!? *Smiles*
See... Look! Can you tell there is a Tiny Hoard in this frame? I suspect you couldn't since I hadn't run a Spoiler Alert above you would just think, Wow Dawn, you're making Great Progress and have really Pared down your... ahem... Collections!!! *Winks* Well, I have to some degree... but the Garages are Telling of what I haven't yet come to terms with yet and in all Honesty I don't even know how much of all that I WILL be able to part with??!?! Any Volunteers for Intervention Duty? *Ha ha ha... NO, I'm SERIOUS!!!*
And yet, I still Feel it's Good to be Me, I find some pretty Awesome Stuff, it's my Gift I suppose... and I hardly ever come away from The Thrill Of The Hunt without having at least seen something Awesome that I could have Scored or Rescued from an awful Fate! Now, if only I can Groom myself into becoming a better Editor I can definitely work that in my Favor and supply all the Pickers out there with a bounty of The Good Stuff... and fill my Showrooms with it too... IF I can Let Go more easily that is... loosening my grip and perhaps Trading Up a lot of what I have with whatever comes in that is Better? Yeah, that will be a Future Goal... well... AFTER I wade thru these unpacked boxes and crates that is... *Le Sigh*
Yeah, it's True, I have a lot of unfulfilled Goals yet to Attain... but I'm Workin' on it... well, sorta... some days... sporadically... with the Best of Intentions... I'm wrangling The Insidious Beast that still partly resides with us... and has it's Eviction Notice not yet Served... *Winks*
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian