Thursday, August 7, 2014

When Being An Insomniac Is A Good Thing

I didn't used to be an Insomniac, until Menopause morphed my whole World... but I have found that there are times when being an Insomniac is a good thing.

When you live in a house filled with people... and Full Time Caregiving consumes most of your waking hours... you find that the quiet Reflective time you can recoup when you're having bouts of Insomnia are Divine!

I can hear the Quiet... which is Rare around Bohemian Valhalla... and the Peace and Serenity of Silence is so Soothing to the Soul and Calming to the Mind.

You see, I have a Mind that races... and that means during regular waking hours I have a tendancy to be doing everything and nothing all at once... so being Still is not something I do well during my regular daytime routine.

But during my hours of Insomnia, and especially since there is complete Silence and everyone else is slumbering and not being a distraction or requiring constant attention... my Mind slows way down... probably to Normal levels most peeps enjoy normally?!?  *LOL... I dunno... I'm just Assuming most of you do?!*

And with thoughts slowed way down and Mind not racing, I find I have more Clarity of thought.  And the ability to slow way down physically as well, to a place of actual Rest and Restoration of Mind and Body, even tho' I can't Sleep.

Yes, but with the inability to Sleep thru the Night at times of Insomnia, don't you Feel Tired you might be Wondering?   Listen, when you're a Full Time Caregiver, you LIVE Tired twenty-four-seven and three-hundred-and-sixty-five... that's just how it is... so it becomes your State of Being... whether you actually get any Sleep or not I've found.  So No, I'm not any MORE Tired than I would have been getting SOME regular Sleep SOME of the time, kinda Weird, but True.

So... the days I pop up at some Ungodly Hour and can't seem to go back to Slumbering... I actually Feel Better, because I've had that Time of Absolutely Divine Serenity... of Silence... of nobody bugging me and being able to be Awake and totally Focused on what I WANT to be Focused upon... and not what I NEED to be Focused upon... big difference.  

Doing what you WANT to be doing, even if it's nothing at all, rather than what you NEED to be doing, or don't have a Choice about... well, it is just more Nourishing to the Soul and Restful to the Mind and Body somehow.  Ideally, I'd like that State of Being all of the time, it's Blissful.

And who doesn't Enjoy Bliss?!?  In fact, Bliss is something I seek as often as I'm able... and so if I find anything at all that I consider Blissful, I'm Grateful for it.  Even if it's something Quirky and completely unexpected, like having Menopausal Insomnia.  It clearly Serves it's Purpose and I don't try to fix what's Working for me.

I once had a Doctor tell me I 'suffer' from Sleep Apnea and that I could actually die in my Sleep from it, so did I want to try to do something about it so that dying in my Sleep didn't happen?  Hell No I says, Great Way To Go so I'm Good with that!  Guess he wasn't expecting that response, but I meant it.   I mean, of all the ways to die... and lets face it... we ALL have to one day and somehow... if that's the way I COULD Check Out and Cross Over... I'm Totally Okay with that and it would certainly be a preference!  *LOL*

Now, I'm Guessing that because no Doc seems to be AS Concerned about me having chronic Menopausal Insomnia, I'm probably NOT gonna die from it?  And Menopause probably doesn't last forever {I HOPE}, it just Feels like it does... so this will probably Self-Correct in due time.  So I'm just Enjoying the Benefits and Blissful Moments it Creates while it lasts.
Even tho' one of the other Mysteries of the Universe typically happens when I am having one of my Insomniac Attacks and Reveling in the Serenity of it.  Princess T's 'Gramma Radar' always seems to go off at some point during my Blissful Inability to Sleep!  So a tired, bleary eyed little girl will Wander to where ever I'm Enjoying my Silence and Peace... disturbing it and proclaiming, "Gramma... I can't go back to Sleep!"  *Le Sigh*

Which then seems to set off a Chain Reaction of Universal Mysteries... as now The Man will suddenly Awaken and Appear!  Regardless of the Hour and how Quiet we're still being... because you KNOW I'm keeping her Quiet any way I can so as not to Awaken the other Natives and make them equally Restless!   Or at least that's the Plan!!!  *LOL*

Now... Prince R takes Meds for his Bipolar Insomnia so USUALLY he stays knocked out in order that he doesn't stay up for days at a time with no need for Sleep whatsoever, which would probably Kill me and THAT is NOT the way I wanna go!  *LOL*  
 But, if the other Natives are Restless enough... well, the whole household could be now Awake at some Ungodly hour and totally Wrecking the Insomniac Good Thing I've got going on!  *Le Sigh*  So I've GOTTA figure out at least some of these Mysteries of the Universe and bring Universal Balance back into Alignment so as not to disturb The Force!  *Smiles*

 Or at the very least figure out a way to block the signals of 'Gramma Radar'!?!  I Wonder if making her a little Tinfoil Helmet and telling her it's a Sleeping Cap might Help?   Maybe I could make it Real Cute like this so she'll want to wear it to bed and be none the Wiser to my devious Plan I'm desperately Scheming?!?  *Winks... I'm just kidding... well, sorta... LOL*  Hey, she'd look Cute in it, No? 
After all, she LIKES Hats, Crowns and Tiaras... most Wee Princess Divas do!!!  And maybe there's even a risidual Market for Gramma Radar Blocking Crowns?  And be a Great Service to the Senior Society... especially Custodial G-Parents!  As well as Passive Income Flow for Yours Truly when I Patent the Idea!?!  The G-Kiddos could even 'choose' to wear them all day long... well, with the usual Bribes that is... to make it seem like a Great Idea?!? Just sayin'...  always trying to find Creative ways to Serve my Community, ya know?!?  *Winks* 

And these are just some of the things I Quietly Contemplate when being an Insomniac is a good thing... and I'm trying to Solve all of the Mysteries of the Universe in a Serene Contemplative way... Hopefully with no interruptions... Yeah, that's right, I STILL Dream Big even when I'm not asleep... about the 'no interruptions' Thing!  Hey, IT COULD HAPPEN!???!??!??!??  *LOL*

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

1 comment:

  1. Just got our quiet house back! Grand kids moved to Utah! Wish you could have some quiet too! Blessings on you!


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl