Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Color Me Frustrated...

Color me Frustrated... whatever Color that happens to be... I just know I'm tired of juggling all the balls in the air, so I've laid them all down today... well, laid down is not exactly the correct terminology, I threw them at some people and dumped the whole juggling act in their laps... or at least Attempted to... let me explain.  Prince R needs to be Registered for High School for next year... and since I was Hospitalized we missed Freshman Night Orientation... so this Morning I went in to the High School Guidance Office to Enroll him, bringing all 'required' paperwork with me... sounds simple, huh?

Only Closed Doors lately will not Open... in fact, they keep getting slammed shut in my face and I'm completely fed up to death with it all, really I am, with these senseless battles and this needless additional Stress.  You see, new apparent 'Regulations' in Guardianship this Year have made it so that the Medical and Educational Communities will no longer accept the Guardianship we have for the G-Kid Force... an Arrangement that has been in place for over Thirteen and Eight years respectively with no Issues until now.   It's Expired they now say... you have to go thru Family Court AGAIN they now say... Child Protective Services and The Judge shouldda done all this Years ago they say, when they initially deemed Mom incompetent and Blessed Placement with you.   Well... they didn't!  Apparently they neglected to do their job correctly all those Years ago... no big Surprise there given how very Broken and Jacked Up The System is... so now what?!  It's not as if these Kiddos are going anywhere... we still gotta Raise them to Adulthood and Provide ALL their Needs!
 So in the meantime these kiddos are being denied Medical and Educational needs, I'm being refused Emergency Surgery for The Princess and refused enrollment in High School for The Young Prince... and if we're NOT their Guardians anymore, then WHO IS?!?!!   WHO!?!??!  I WANT and NEED to know... because then WHOEVER it allegedly is needs to be Stepping Up and Ponying Up... providing ALL of their needs and Support... and Raising them then!!!   'Cause frankly, I never wanted nor Expected to be Raising another Generation of Kiddos anyway, we were Forced into this Arrangement and tried to do the Right Thing by these Precious Ones, knowing that in The System, they were particularly vulnerable and difficult to place, given their ethnicity and Special Needs, not to mention the dismal track record of The System and Children in CPS and Foster Care.  We didn't want to put them at grave risk, so we Agreed to Uncontested Placement... and everyone was on Board Thirteen and Eight Years ago... so WHAT CHANGED?!?!!!! 

And while I was on my Rant there in the Guidance Office of the High School I intentionally hit a Raw Nerve by asking them just how many Illegal Aliens were having trouble getting their kids Enrolled in the School!?!  Yeah, the Silence was deafening for several minutes while they admitted that Truth!  Oh... you say NONE... well, that wouldn't be Right, Ethical or Politically Correct after all would it?!  I was unstoppable now and they could tell being PC is not something I care one iota about!  *LOL*   Apparently you can be in our Country Illegally and have no problem Enrolling your Children in the same Schools mine, who are American Citizens, are being denied Registration in... or receive Emergency Medical Care... simply because mine need to be Raised by Custodial Grandparents and Apparently don't have a Guardian anymore because we've 'Expired' so to speak Bureaucratically and Red Tape wise... what pathetic Irony!  And yes, I'm mad as Hell about it and Tired as Hell dealing with it as our Reality! 

Oh, they add that I MUST send him to School however, or that would constitute Negligence on my part from him receiving his Education and his Caseworker at CPS would be upset and get Involved!?!??   Oh, you mean the one that's never been Involved in all these Years and been conspicuous by their absence... that one?  And, um, how am I supposed to send him to School if you won't take him or allow me to Register him?  I'm TRYING to send him to School... that's the Point of me BEING HERE!!!  And BTW I haven't seen his Alleged Caseworker since the day they Blessed Placement over Thirteen Years ago, so I doubt this Ghost Worker ensuring his Well Being and all is gonna be upset about anything... seriously!  Okay, so turned away from the School until I can Re-Up Guardianship thru Family Courts some kinda way I stomp off... right over to the CPS Office.  Unlike the DES lines around the block, the CPS window has no lines and no wait time, you can just walk right up... because mostly and generally nobody ever does that Voluntarily!!!  So it kinda shocked the Woman at the Window and threw her completely off her Game!  *LOL*

"Hey, you guys placed my Grandchildren with me beaucoup Years ago when you deemed my Daughter Unfit at their Birth... and now we got a Situation..."   I explain said Situation in detail... and instead of receiving any Help, got an even Crazier response than I Expected... and my Expectations were already REALLY low given the track record of this Agency.   Well, your Case is really Old they say and so it's not Open anymore.  So I ask them to Re-Open it then so I can get some Help resolving this Mess and get the Documents I've been asked to provide that the School tells me they should have given me Years ago at Initial Placement.  And to get the younger one's Emergency Surgery finally done too, which is 'kinda' important for her to thrive and continue to breathe... and you ARE supposed to be lookiing out for their Well Being, No?!   I mean, I'm just trying to get these Kids Raised and Ensure they get necessary Medical Treatment and an Education, Help me do this okay!?!  {I'm being facetious on purpose, but it didn't Phase this Employee!}  Well, they can't... and ya wanna know why?  Because the Kiddos aren't being Abused or Neglected, that's why!!!  It's a Great Placement with no problems {well, unless you consider not being able to get Medical Care and Education a 'Problem' I guess!}  ... and the Kiddos are being well taken care of, so they can't do squat for me... except give me a laundry list of other numbers to call... which each then refer me somewhere else and Wish me Luck and say how Sorry they are... and so it goes, round and round in perpetual circles til I'm dizzy!

I tell the each Agency Rep that I just got out of the Hospital and this is just the kinda nonsense that has facilitated putting me into the Hospital and wrecking my Health... they don't really Care.  And they tell me that Family Court MIGHT agree to fast track the Cases, given the Circumstances and Urgency, and Approve Emergency Guardianship IF a Judge agrees to see me without it taking forever and a day to get a Hearing Date set up... they're known to be 'slow' and extremely backlogged... so it could take a very long time to even get the first Hearing... and I guess there's several Hearings along the way.   But it will Cost me even without an Attorney... and I'll have to request a Deferral and a Waiver if I can't pay the full amounts... which I can't right now.  Wonderful... I already have the hefty mound of paperwork I already had to pay the Courts for the last time I went.  The VA Attorney told me when I went to their Workshop last week seeking Help for Family Law to fill it all out but there would be Problems since two out of three Parents are MIA and out of the Country, so International 'Service' will be an Issue, especially with Homeless Parents with no permanent address... and it's only paperwork for one Child... I'll have to get another set for Child No. 2.  And each Case could be handled and scheduled separately... REALLY!!!!!!!???!???
And so after I Exhausted all the Agency Numbers CPS had given me and gotten nowhere... I decide I will just call Prince R's Dad and have him meet me at the High School tomorrow Morning and we'll just double-team the Principal.  He Agreed, he's Tired of the BS too, our Arrangement is in the best interest of the Children, all Family Agree on this point.   Prince R's Dad has always cooperated in the Custodial Process and trying to deal with our Seriously Mentally Ill Daughter as best he could since they had a Child together.  That has not been easy since he knows his Son has Issues which preclude him being able to adequately Parent him either.   Though he had his own Issues Years ago when the Child was born, he's getting his Life together and he, his Family and his Girlfriend have helped us out with both Children whenever they could, even tho' The Princess isn't his Child.  Her Dad was deported back to Mexico well over seven Years ago when his Work Visa wasn't renewed and CPS grilled him at her birth about his Residency Status.  So he's been Transient following work in his Country... so he can't be much Help since they won't let him back into the Country.  These are the complexities of the 'Situation', which is why nobody in The System wants to Deal with it apparently.
I was only Encouraged by Prince R's Dad's Promise that we'd get him in School and find a way around The System because there's always Exceptions to the Rules.   He knows, when he was only Thirteen, the same tender Age Prince R is now... he was on his own since his Single Parent was Institutionalized and there was nobody to take him in... he was a Homeless Street Kid and had to Enroll himself in School every Year... because he had no Parents or Guardians.  He got thru School... and he's not going to stand by and watch his Son denied an Education because he knows how Brilliant Prince R is and that he could be all that his Daddy never could be... it Touched my Soul to hear that.   Prince R's Dad has always Appreciated that The Man and I have never Judged him even tho' we didn't Approve of Lifestyle or many Choices in his Youth... never having had a Father he's Attempted to be the best absentee Dad he could be without a Positive Role Model to emulate... considering what he's overcome in his Life without any Help he's done the best he could with what he had... I can't ask for any more than that.  I Appreciate his continued Involvement in his Son's Life, they Love each other and Accept each other Unconditionally, since each knows the other has considerable 'Issues' to work on overcoming.

And I have chosen to Share our very Personal, Private Story in Hopes that if there are other Custodial Relatives trying to get a Child(ren) Raised while everyone seems to be running interferance to hinder them or deny Help... or any Teen Parents or those with Infirmity that weren't up to the job and tried to do the Right Thing by their Child(ren) by Voluntary Placement with their Extended Family... that we Unite for the Cause of Changing the very Broken System as it presently stands.  Where Help seems only to be for those Involuntary Placements when nobody wanted to do the Right Thing and were Forced to do what was best for the Child(ren).  It's not Right... and tho' I'm Thankful that those Precious Ones Involuntarily Placed are receiving more Help and Resources than any of ours are, I just want Equal Concern and Resources for the rest, the Voluntary Placement Children... those who were Loved enough not to have Agencies and Judges Forcing Placement for their Welfare... that would only be Just... if in fact, The System really IS intent on Ensuring ALL Children's Welfare and Well Being?   Sometimes I am not sure...    
Blessing Footnote:  I do have to Share my Great News about The Young Prince too... and why Fighting for his Educational Rights and having no Interruption in them is SO Important... he recently Won a Scholarship from The Boys And Girl's Club towards his Quest for a Career in Scientific Fields, Open Source Technology and Inventing.  
 And he was Featered in Cronkite News as a Prodigy from his Work at the Mosaic Arts Center.  *Whoop Whoop... Okay, so Color me Proud too!!!*   So... don't give up on these Children... the Voluntary Placement ones... they deserve as much of a Chance as any other... and many of them will do Great Things... even against great odds...
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Oh Dawn! Does it never end? I know you've said this more than once too! Thankful Dad is going with you to the school. With this promising future he must stay in school! Maybe all this outburst will get the wheels movin on the other issues to!

  2. Dear Dawn,
    You have said you are by nature a very private person. So my suggestion will seem a bit bizarre perhaps. I think you should contact Dr. Phil about all of this and your whole situation. He gets things done especially where children are involved and I really think he could help you. I know it's a wild idea. But I thought I would share the possibility with you.

  3. I second Jerri Ecord's notion: perhaps a media spotlight shone on the grandparents-raising-grandchildren challenges would illuminate some solutions.

    But given the precarious health situations of the grandparents (a very important factor!), a first step might better be engaging a sponsor to mediate the media's involvement. Is there a 'grandparents rights' advocacy group in your state? Is there a state legislature member associated with such a group? Or perhaps a politician or activist demonstrating results in advocacy for kids-in-need-of-services? Does the state's lawyers' organization have a Family Law division -- with members who do pro-bono work?

    Ideally, the interviewer would utilize a knowledgeable third-party to outline the general issues (your advocate), then move on to speak with you regarding your specific case.

  4. Girl, call your State Representative. THAT is what they are for!
    We homeschool so I don't have to deal with those Godforsaken Heathens! ;)

    Praying for your family...





A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

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