Sunday, November 17, 2013

It Started With A Chinese Lantern Class...

Okay, so it started with a simple Chinese Lantern Class that I managed to squeeze in to my hectic Schedule on a Friday Morning.  My Sweet Friend Pamela Invited me to visit her Shop and Encouraged me to Participate and Attend the Workshop so that I could have a Positive Release from unrelenting Stress and Caregiving Strain and Burnout.   And now I'm Jonesin' to take as many Workshops as I can find Respite Time and Resources for because when I'm Creating I no longer have the weight of heavier Issues consuming me.  Creativity is like Oxygen to me... especially when I'm suffocating from the Issues of Life sucking the Life and breath right out of me.

Sure, I still have the two Showrooms and Pickin' as temporary Escapes from my Reality... but I usually have a half dozen "Urgent" phone calls interrupting me from The Man and/or the G-Kid Force any time I sneak away to try to attend to Working my neglected Retail Spaces or replenishing dwindling Inventory even for just an Hour.  Sweating bullets since now I'm Rushing... which I HATE to Feel or be Rushed or forced into unrealistic time constraints to get things accomplished properly and not leave anyone alone for too long.  Either that or they're my Entourage when I'm Attempting to Style my Spaces or go on a Pick , which really doesn't constitute a Respite or any "Restorative Me Time" at all.  And still usually ends up with a hasty attempt since all three of them fade at the gate quickly and need to go Home prematurely.

Sometimes it works out when I take any or all of them with me and they can be a Help rather than a hindrance or a distraction from getting any Work done... Sometimes.  And though the Beast Princess is already a diligent and compulsive Organizer and adept Stylist, her Separation Anxiety often kicks in to hyperdrive if she's not attached to me at the hip, which is stifling.  She also rarely gets along and plays well with others, especially big Brothers... and her and Grandpa fuss a lot at each other now because 'New Grandpa' is still an adjustment for The Force.  God Forgive me, but I can only take so much of their Intensity and their propensity to Drama and extreme Mood Swings... without it draining me or Setting me Off. 
And The Man is still recuperating from his Traumatic Brain Injury so any Outing for him is a Huge Deal and has to be short and sweet with lots of Patience.  In case you didn't already know, Patience doesn't happen to be one of my Divine Virtues.  *LOL*  And he feels Safer at Home in a Familiar place so is resistant to Outings or Socialization of any sort.  But we did manage to get him out for Veteran's Day so he could receive Public Acknowledgement for his Service to Country.  That always makes him Feel good to receive Sincere Appreciation from random people, especially since he Feels so betrayed by the Government with all the broken Promises.

We discovered that the Programs and Resources allegedly available to Disabled Veterans and their Families from the VA or from the Private Sector have so many disqualifying factors that we didn't Qualify for any of them.  So Help probably isn't coming... EVER... and I'm trying to wrap my Mind around that one and have somewhat of a Peace about it and what that might mean for the long haul if I go down in flames again trying to do it all with little or no Help?  That's daunting, so I'm trying to keep my head on straight and see what obscure Programs or Resources might exist for us?

The VA Social Worker has put me in for 6 Hours of In-Home Respite Care every other week, and though we should Qualify for that earned benefit with The Man's long length of Service and 100% Service Connected Disability even before his TBI Disability from the Accident, it probably doesn't include Respite Care for the G-Kid Force. Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!  That will be our little Surprise the first time the VA Respite Caregiver shows up I guess and thinks its just an Old Soldier they're babysitting so I can have a Mental Health Break!?!  *LMAO* 

  Sure, they probably won't come back again for the other six hours I should get for the Month... or EVER... but I'm guardedly Optimistic I might get a one time six hour break if I hide the Kiddos in another room and tell them to wait 'til I'm down the road before they come out and Surprise the VA Respite Caregiver!?  It could work!?   Anyway, I'm desperate at this point, it will be... say... a Memory Lapse I had... yeah, that's it... that's what it was... that's my Story and I'm stickin' to it!!!  What?  Did I forget to mention I'm a Caregiver of THREE 'Special Needs Loved Ones'?  Ooops!!!  And, I know... I know... the Children were never Drafted or Enlisted since they came Disabled and are too Young  for sending off to War anyway you know... *I shall say all this with a Deadpan Wednesday Addams expression, whaddya think?*  They shouldda figured it out already with how relentless I've been about trying to get some Help!!!  I'm asking about and applying for every damn Program I can Google, I don't care anymore where the Help comes from!  *Smiles*

I'm California Dreamin' about Living the Dream... and Escaping the Nightmare... even if in only six hour increments every other week, Maybe... if their In-Home Caregiver doesn't bail?

Since apparently you don't Qualify for any Respite Caregiver Stipend Income until you're a Destitute VA Spouse... so that you could actually afford to Hire someone to do what you can't do or need a break from every now and again.   Rather than relying upon the Charity of Volunteers or an existing Program the VA or your Insurance will actually pay for, which are in limited and in short supply.  But, they said if it gets to the point where The Man's care exceeds 100% of our total Income I COULD perhaps Qualify for a small stipend, no guarantees though and it would be better IF you don't own your own Home or have any Assets left to liquidate.  Yeah, that would be BETTER, huh, if we were Homeless, had zero income left and didn't have a pot left to piss in... NOT!!!!!!!   And BTW... they only Factor in Qualifying Income on a Vet and Spouse... if you're more than a Couple... say, you're still raising a Family of Dependants... that Qualifying Factor Figure doesn't increase one iota regardless of size of Family for the Program... WTF?!?   Guess they figure folks our Age shouldn't even still be raising Kids... and tho' I'm in Agreement with that opinion... we ARE... and we WILL BE for at least another Decade.

These are just some of the reasons why I HATE... ABHOR... AND CRINGE at Applying for any Assistance Programs... you really do have to be to a point of desperation and have thick skin before you want to go up against The System and have to hear what responses you'll get as to why you usually don't Qualify and won't be receiving any Help.  With a 'Good Luck with that and we Hope it all works out' tacked on gratuitously, lest you assume they don't Care.  But on a positive note I no longer have to schlepp The Man back and forth across the City to the VA Hospital three days a week for his OT, PT and RN Checks due to his still frail health... they finally Approved some Home Visits!  *Whew!*  Which is a good thing because he couldn't tolerate the long commute and long waits at the VA Hospital to be seen, he had too much Anxiety and too much Pain so we'd end up leaving without even being seen... and we had to scramble to get back Home in time to pick the G-Force up from School anyways.  But we still have to go for Specialist Appointments, of which there are still many... so I still spend way too much time in Hospitals and at Appointments for the Crew... and that Wheelchair is like a boat anchor and doesn't fit worth a damn in the back of a Jeep... I've hurt my back twice already schlepping it...  I SO wish my Truck hadn't been totalled in the wreck!

And I must say Venting here in Blog Therapy is almost as good as being able to take Workshops and Classes as a Release of the Stress, Strain and Frustrations stacking up again.  Better this than landing up in Hospital and unraveling again so soon.

I'd rather take a Class... and if I can't swing a cool Workshop...

Why, a Two Dollar Make-And-take Card Class will do!  I'm not picky.  *Smiles*  Actually I REALLY like that Center Card, who doesn't want a Beautiful Day after all?

We keep trying to have one anyway... and some days we even Succeed!!!

And it started with a simple Chinese Lantern Class...
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

1 comment:

  1. Damn the man Dawn! Why does it have to be so hard? People that need help don't get it and the people that don't need it work the system like experts. A bunch of BS I tell you!
    I really hope things pick up for you guys and you get the help you deserve.


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl