Sunday, June 16, 2013

A Funny Father's Day... Well, Sorta...

This Father's Day my Gift to The Man was to take him out for Breakfast and Dinner with The Family. He Loves eating out, but usually it's just he and I sneaking away for an occassional meal out, while the G- Kids are at School or Summer Camp, so that we can eat in Peace and while the Food is still Hot. *Winks*  And The Son Works a lot and has a busy Social Life, so he's rarely Home to join us for a Meal anymore, in or out.  And to take an entire Family out to eat anymore is an Expensive Proposition that I need to Budget and Save up for.  So... needless to say, in our Inner Circle it's a Special Event to go out for a Meal Together as a Family.  Logistically though it's no small feat to Accomplish and you've really gotta Psyche yourself up for it... and I'll tell you why... Picture this:
Now that The Man is not Well and has a host of Medical Equipment in tow, getting him and the G-Kid Force ready and out the door is usually no less than a two hour Ordeal and an Exercise in Patience, Frustration and Endurance.  Quite often Exhausting enough that you don't Plan too many of these Excursions unless it is a Special Occassion and you've had a long Nap beforehand to prepare yourself for the Marathon it will ultimately entail.  You will get to the point at some time in the Ordeal of just getting them Ready, that you Consider not even bothering and Threaten to call the whole thing Off.  *Le Sigh*  And once you hit "In Public", the G-Force will move at the Speed of Light... and The Man is moving in Ultra Slo-Mo... all three of them tending to Wander Off and scatter in different directions... so not Losing anyone is a great Accomplishment when we're out Together.  I've even Fantasized about getting those multiple dog harnesses to hook them all up to and see if that Helps... but I'm sure then someone would call Adult and Child Protective Services? *LOL*    Grandpa will ultimately not Feel Well at some point in the Outing and get Cranky and want to go Home early, Clearly he won't be having Fun anymore... and the G-Kid Force will Torment, Fuss, Fight and Tease each other Unmercifully... and always someone will be in Tears, that's a 'Given'.  Throw in The Son's hectic Work Schedule that we've got to Coordinate the Outing around... and Logistically it's a Comedy of Errors to get thru!   Yeah, are we having Fun yet?!?  Maybe I shouldda just Ordered Take-Out and called it a Day?  *LOL*
And just as you Think you might FINALLY have gotten it all Together after two grueling hours of Prep Time for a Simple Meal Out... and everybody is loaded up and almost to the Restaurant you will hear something like this, {The Man} "Honey, I forgot my Teeth." ... {Me} "What?!? You did know we were going out to EAT, Right?" *LOL*   No, I'm NOT kidding or making this up... this actually happened and in hindsight it's hilarious and makes for a Funny Father's Day Story... well, sorta!  *Winks*  Meanwhile The G-Kid Force are busy poking and fussing with each other, Tears are already beginning to flow and spill in the back seat and continue into the Restaurant for one trifling reason or another.
And as The Son is Witnessing this loosely Controlled Chaos and Bizaare Attempt to have some 'Family Time' Together for Father's Day unfold... is it any Wonder that at almost Twenty-Seven he is not yet Married and not sure when he will want to have or Raise Children?  Yeah, I'm sure that's no Accident! *Winks*  At least he Works at 'Total Wine' so he said, "Mom, if you get to the point where you need to order Wine by the Box... don't Worry, I've got you Hooked Up!"  *Smiles* 
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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