Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Pilates Is The Devil...

Source: LIFETIME FITNESS Photo Gallery

Source: LIFETIME FITNESS Photo Gallery

One of the things The Man so graciously offered up for part of my Birthday Present was a Family Membership to LIFETIME FITNESS.  I'm loving it and so are the G-Kids, it's a fabulous 24 hour facility with EVERYTHING, I feel like I'm at a Resort and look forward to daily visits... now we can work out daily with two hours of Child Care per day provided, as a Couple or solo... and then do the Water Park side as a Family... no excuses not to get back in shape.  And it sure beats marathon walks in the sweltering Desert heat most of the year where you have to pack enough water to cripple a Mule to survive an outing!

I'm fierce on any Cardio equipment because I'm an avid Walker and Hiker, so since The Man had set me up with a Personal Trainer on my Birthday I spent a week warming up on every conceivable piece of equipment I could figure out, spending 1-2 hours priming my body for said Personal Training Experience.  Boy was I naive!!! *LOL*

I meet up with the cute, fit, sweet young thing that would be my Personal Trainer, she's about as Youthful as our oldest Grand-Daughters... surely she wouldn't torture HER Gramma... so I felt confident I would survive said workout and she might be somewhat gentle and keep me at Gramma slash Great-Gramma level. *Winks*

I should have had a clue of things to come when she asked me what "Problem" I most struggle with at this Season of Life?  "Why, getting up smoothly or sometimes at all..." , I innocently say.  It's true, with advancing age getting up from say, the floor, can be an exercise in and of itself... who knew... even though you Witness said acrobatic attempts with your own aging G-Parents & Parents as the years progress, you never think it will happen to YOU! *NOTE: If it hasn't already happened to you, and  you keep on living... it WILL happen to you... yes, YOU!*

Aha, now she knows my WEAKNESS, I'm doomed! *LOL*  Only I don't know it... YET!  
"Well then, we're going to work on THAT. Have you ever done Pilates?", she asks sweetly.  "Well, years ago I did a lot of Yoga..." I answer... naively thinking Pilates is like Yoga, right?  WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yoga is gentle... Pilates I am soon to discover, is the Devil!!!!!! *Smiles*
Pilates will require me to activate muscles that I haven't used in perhaps a half a Century or more... OR EVER!!! *LOL*

I push through the Personal Training Session like a Trooper, sweet Trainer commends me on my tenacity and doing everything she tells me to do without complaint... though all the while I'm thinking I might die and be on the six o'clock news as the out of shape old lady that croaked at the Gym on her Birthday!?   "Can you feel IT?" she says after our workout is complete and she exuberantly bounces away to do it again with some other poor Soul...  If by IT you mean a sensation that my tortured body will be rebelling within perhaps an hour... and I'm wondering how many days I'll be incapacitated by the event... yeah, I FEEL IT?!?! 

It's a good thing I celebrated most of my Birthday BEFORE Pilates tortured my muscles... I did enough balance correcting exercises and one legged squats that squatting on the porcelain throne was now challenging and exceedingly painful!!! *Winks*  And I needed The Man to help me up from any sitting or resting position for four days after... so he'll definitely be getting a different kind of workout assisting Pilates crippled Gramma until my body recovers from what feels like a near slow death experience... *Winks*  

Note to self: My Body liked Yoga much better, Yoga is gentle... it will take an extreme measure of Mental Warfare with said Body to convince it to continue with the Pilates Program my sweet 'lil Personal Trainer set up for me.  And until I can MOVE again, I'll be spending more time in the Hot Tub than usual... before I can even attempt IT again... *Groan*  Luckily they have a Special on Massages for new Members... I'll be all over THAT!!!  Zen Moments I can handle anytime! *Winks*

Dawn... The Bohemian 


  1. What afun post! i have only done pilate 2 times, and I loved it, but the teacher had to move the time and the new time did not fit with my chedule so I had to stop. That however made me take up yoga, and i love that even more so I am greatful for her busy time :)

  2. Dawn, your post cracked me up! I can only imagine the pain you were in after that toturous workout! I HATE EXCERCISE as much as I know I need it. Congratulations on the will power to follow through. You go girl!



  3. Oh I've been there myself last week. I thought walking had kept me fit but 40 minutes Cardio in the gym and it took me a week to recover.
    I guess we need to keep it up, hope it's not so bad next time.

  4. OMG Dawn! I had to read this out loud to my husband and we're both LOAO!! You are too dang funny!! But girl that gym looks like a dream! And very shortly...after a great deal of pain (I know) you will be doing pilates like a pro! (Rhyme intended lol!)
    ......I so need to get back to working out in my home gym *sighs* Vanna


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