Saturday, August 1, 2020

Monotony Of Days



The Son did the Yard Work Yesterday, I'd already pre-paid T.J. to do it for July, but it needed it badly and they'd been out of Town a lot.  So The Son just did it instead and will take over that responsibility to save me the expense while he's living here.  The John Deere riding Mower needs a new grass catcher tube that goes to the grass catching bags, but right now that's low on the Totem Pole of essential expenses and repairs.  I still have to find a Roofer willing to do a small job and hire them to replace a few missing shingles on the RV Garage Roof.  And a Contractor to re-vent the Washer-Dryer better in the Attic, it was done all wrong and our Home Inspection caught it.   Our Seller reduced the Sale Price by Three Grand to cover any minor Repairs, which was very generous... I just have to now Hire folks to do it!


 

Considering the Economy is crap, so many in the Trades are becoming very picky about which jobs they will take on or even give you a courtesy of declining, most don't even call you back if it's not a major job.  The Son has cultivated a lot of contacts in the Trades. So he said he'll just find someone he knows well who does good work and will do these small jobs on the side and he could just assist them to save on Labor costs.  I hope to get all these minor jobs out of the way, none of them are a big problem or will be costly, but small problems deferred can become big costly problems with Home Maintenance.  I'm the one who has to Maintain and Hire everyone since The Man's TBI has made it so he just can't.




So, this is another reason it was mutually beneficial for The Son to move back for a while as he's in transition, it helps me out a lot with Maintenance and knowing who to Hire if we need to do that for anything.  Plus, now I have more Freedom to leave the house to do essential things and put The Son in charge of looking after his Dad. Which relieves Princess T of that responsibility so she can just be a Kid and not assume Adult roles and fill in for me.  It also means I don't always have to take this Show on the Road and drag everyone along on essential business.  *Whew!*  Before COVID it was more an inconvenience than risky, now it's both.




I've been bundling up all my Old Decor Magazines in bundles of Eight and they're selling out quickly every time I bring any in to the Showroom.  So that is helping Purge that Stash as I'm unpacking those Boxes and prepping them for the Antique Mall.   Some of those Magazines are Vintage and many were European Decor Magazines that were expensive, so I knew they were perfect for my Retail Space.  I just felt the Timing is Ideal for Selling Off Old Decor Magazines because people are bored while staying Home with the Pandemic more than usual.  If someone is Decorating their Home in a Vintage, Retro, or Trending Theme these will be Inspirational and Authentic to Era.





Some of those Magazines went way back to the 1970's all the way to the Present! Covering everything from Urban Farmhouse and Prairie Style, Romantic Style, Vintage Industrial Style, Mid Century Modern, Victorian, French Nordic, Flea Market Style, Boho Style, Botanical Style, Seasonal Issues... you name it!   Literally every day I brought bundles in they would Sell Out that day, so I'm trying to bundle up new Inventory every Evening for to bring in the next Morning while demand is high.  It's great to clear out stuff I've Collected and no longer need or have a desire to keep.  It also gives me something to focus on and do while I'm in Lock Down extended stay, to stay productive and purposefully engaged.




I'm trying to spend as much time pricing and sorting thru my Inventory as I would have being on my Shifts at the Antique Mall, to boost that bottom line now that I'm not getting comped space rent working there.  Sales are softening and a lot of Vendors are in Crisis already, I Thankfully haven't been even with not working to offset any rent.  But that could turn on a Dime so I'm trying to cram in as much of my stuff I wanna Sell while I still have Retail Space there to do it and while they remain Open.  With not being an Essential Biz they could be forced into another Closure if things don't improve or worsen, so it's all very much up in the air really, nobody knows what the Future is gonna look like?!




Getting $1,200 Four Months ago hasn't been enough to sustain most people up under the Pressure of Pandemic Losses.  In this neck of the woods that wouldn't cover Rent for a Month, let alone Living expenses beyond Shelter.  Something was better than nothing and I was Grateful for ours given I had to quit Working and now have had to take in The Son since he lost his Job and place to Shelter.  It seems the next Stimulus Bill is languishing as they bicker over it Politically... and when they eventually roll it out I think it will be too little too late for most people.  Compared to how they lined the pockets of Big Biz and their Cronies, it's insulting  and a joke what they've only done for Average people who are really hurting.





I know that most people are beginning to get used to going out less and taking necessary precautions for risk assessing.  But there is a monotony of Days now that often makes us feel restless.  Everything you do has to be so carefully considered and calculated for risk.  Everyone you come into contact with could be a Carrier of a dangerous and potentially fatal Disease, so it's a stress level we're not familiar with.   I am hoping we don't become desensitized to all the Death and the volume of it?  After a while it is all numbing and the weight of what you Feel has to be measured and regulated in order to stay balanced in Emotion.





I've spent all day just writing this Post off and on, napping off and on, that's mostly due to Emotional exhaustion I think?  Physically I feel okay most days, but Emotionally I am on this Rollercoaster of Emotion and it wears me out.  I'm not typically an overly Emotional person, but lately I could Cry at the drop of a Hat or a sappy Commercial, either... or.  *LOL*  I think I find excuses to Cry for stupid things, so I don't Cry for all the valid reasons we could and should during this whole shitshow we're living daily in Real Time?  I do find the Emotion of Anger rising up daily about the state of affairs in our Country, they aren't getting better... in fact, the Problem People are getting worse and more deluded by the day and it's terrifying!





And I quit trying to Understand why they're Problem People thru all of this?  It's still so illogical I just can't fathom the depth of depravity, gullibility or stupidity.  I did, for a short while, tune in very briefly, in spite of it being irritating, to their News Sources to hear what might be keeping them ill informed and riled up.  Who they're getting their ridiculous Mindset from and what bullshit they're being fed and gobbling up as if it's factual or a distraction.  Because you know that's the catalyst for their ire and division widening further.  This Country is very unlikely to Unify now, EVER, I can't even muster that level of Optimism to Imagine a Unity of Purpose at this point.   Extreme thinking, whether on the Right or the Left, has been glaringly evident from the Jump, each with their own Agenda. Yet as a Moderate, Honestly, the Far Right scares me the most, they're the most likely to tip into utter Insanity and their Leaders are dangerous people and threaten Democracy turning into Tyranny.

 



Only most of the 'Followers' seem to not even be Aware of that, and what their chosen Leaders are really doing in not so insidious ways really!!!  They don't even have to be sneaky about it by now, they feel confident enough to be blatant now. If you've talked to any who profess to be so Conservative, they seem to be convinced and brainwashed that this Administration is going to preserve an American way of Life in a Democratic Society!  *LMAOROTF!*  At least anyone I happen to know whose a flaming Liberal, seems more Aware of what the Agenda really is on their end.  Tho' extreme Liberals have some lofty vision of Socialism to be sure and think there really is a Free Ride and nobody Pays.  Word Up, there are no Free Rides, somebody Pays, ALWAYS... and it ain't Cheap!  But at least they do seem to want everyone lifted up whose Oppressed and down and out. Whereas extreme Conservatives seem to want a more Elite Society and there's no room at the Table, or in Society, for whoever THEY deem 'Undesirables' and feel Threatened by.  It's a form of self-imposed Pergatory in so many ways... that they force everyone to get sucked into their Orbit of now!  While their Boy in the WH pretends to be one... a Conservative... which is a Lark, ain't it?!  *LMAO*

   




That could be something as Superficial as complexion or place of Origin... or as Deep as not being of their brand of Religion, since Religion and Politics are, and always have been, some Controversial to the max Topics, aren't they?!  It could be blatant Prejudices or subtle ones, but it always rises to the Surface, since out of the abundance of the Heart, the Mouth always speaks eventually.   My personal Observation, from just Listening and Reading the Far Right Rants, is that there seems to be a lot of upset Whites, of various socioeconomic groups in this Country.  Tending to want to place blame on whatever they think is Wrong with this Country or their personal situation, on those not just like them.   The ones they typically refer to as 'Others'... 'Those People'... lumping entire demographics of Society as if they were One Being... and Dehumanizing and Vilifying the 'Them'.   Which is Typical when you View another Human Being as 'Others'.  I didn't even realize it was as rampant as it clearly is, this Prez and this Pandemic has brought it out in force!




Tho' I am an Ethnic and Cultural blend myself, I look White enough to that group and Mindset, so that they speak freely in front of me or to me.  As if they consider me one of their kind, which I'm so not, but it's very enlightening to be privvy to how their Tribe feels and thinks when they start pontificating to who they Believe to be their Audience.   No, don't lump me in with the Angry White American Person whose apparently all too eager to place blame on the Foreigners, the Non-Whites, the Socially and Economically disadvantaged of Society, align with any Political Party so much that I'm Partisan to a Fault.... because I'm SO NOT that Person you naively Assumed me to be by Skin Tone alone.  It's a faulty Assumption if you think I'm Angry due to what you're Angry about.  Or I'd align with your Anger or of Fanatical forms of Christianity either, even tho' I am a significantly Spiritual Christian, I'm not into Fanaticism and Extremism and Self-Righteousness is never Pretty, it's Ugly as Hell and likely pleases Satan more than God.

   



Of coarse, after listening to some of the Far Side of Religion, I am not certain they Worship any god I'd even be familiar with.   They've twisted interpretation of their Holy Books into some pretty outrageous slants that are a stretch indeed!   But it's not just Christians who do that, Humans have a way of justifying their thoughts, actions and behaviors in their own Favor.  So if they Believe they can make it into, twist it into, force it into, something Divinely Inspired, well, that Justifies it all, doesn't it?   And God better Help YOU if you aren't a Believer in the sense that they pigeonhole a god that only has their particular brand of Religion and Dogma as the ONLY one.   Religious Truths vary so vastly that it's no wonder Organized Religion has been the stumbling block of so many in their Spirituality and a Relationship with their Creator, or lack thereof. 




It's a sad commentary to me, as a deeply Spiritual individual, when those who have no desire to connect with any god or God, to be Walking more in the Fruits of the Spirit and form of Godliness, than those who profess to be Devoutly 'Religious' or Spiritual!   An Atheist or Agnostic showing more Humanity and Love than an individual of any Faith, shames those who have ANY form and fashion of Religion and aren't practicing it as they should be towards their fellow Human Beings.  What kind of a messed up Faith does one have where Hatred is substituted for Love, but a corrupted and toxic one!   When I see Live Feeds, mostly on FB, of the Pious who Post a Godly Meme and follow it up with a really Twisted one, Mind blown that they don't even notice what kind of a Witness that really bears!   I'm not Impressed with such hypocrisy, nor are most people.




I know a lot of my Dear Readers here aren't Religious or Spiritual and I'm of the opinion that everyone's Walk thru this Life is their own and I can Love anyone and be their Friend sincerely, you don't have to be exactly how I am.  I am more impressed with the Content of your Character and what you Walk Out in your Life and is Evident in your Actions and Words, than what Label you slapped on yourself Spiritually speaking.  I can wear a String of Pearls but it doesn't make me an Oyster.   I'd venture to say that about half of my Family and Friends aren't Spiritual at all and I'm Okay with that, since the God I happen to Serve doesn't want anyone Forced on Him, it would be absolutely Meaningless and way too shallow a Relationship then.   If a Relationship isn't Meaningful and Authentic, why bother to pretend you even have one, whether with another Human Being or a Deity?   That's my take on Religion, it can be Authentic or fake as Hell in how you Practice it!  If you're Talking the Talk and not Walking the Walk, you're a Fake to me.




Enough of that Topic, since I don't intend this Post to be Controversial... ha ha ha... just Honest and 100% Real, which is how I Roll.   I dredged up this Archived Image of a Vintage Photo I bought Years ago that I swear could be my Mother... or a Doppelganger of her, and so I just Love it and Connected to it!   I never got to show it to Mom so I couldn't tell you if it WAS her, it could have been, the resemblance is that uncanny and probably of her Era too.   Have you ever thought upon how many Images of you could be out there that you don't know about or forgot about someone else taking with you in them?   I'm a Pathological Picture Taker and always have been, so there was a long standing joke among my Inner Circle that I probably had more great pixs of their Kiddos and their Memories, than they did!  *LOL*




I once Surprised a Lifelong Friend with a Gift of all the pixs I could locate of her and her Family that I knew she didn't have, because I'd taken them and hadn't Shared them before then.   She said it was one of the most Meaningful Gifts she'd ever received and it was Priceless that many Years later... as she Nostalgically viewed each one and a flood of Forgotten Memories came back in waves!  I've had Friends and Family do that for me too, knowing especially that I'm a Keeper of The Past and all things Photographically preserved.   I even have the Adopted Relatives, where I've bought Old pixs of people I don't even know and will never know who they are... it troubles me when Photos are discarded of People, Places and things.  Nobody to Cherish them anymore and thrown out as Trash now or something to be bought and Sold by Strangers instead!




I am that Friend that would gladly and enthusiastically have you show me all your Old Photos and tell your Old Stories behind each one of them.   I am genuinely Interested in them and why they were Preserved thru the Eye of the Lens so as to Share and be Documented.   I just Love to trawl thru my own Photo Archives from time to time and Remember people, times and places that might have not come to Mind in a very long time, were it not for those Photographs preserving the Moments in Time to look back upon.   I Cover Events, or at least I used to, in the Pre-Pandemic Days of Old... I miss doing that too... because all the Work and Talent that went into putting on those Shows was worth Preserving in an Editorial form.   Each Vignette was like a Movie Set of sorts or an Art Form, I Love the Art of Display and of superb Merchandising.




Not everyone can do it superbly, I know I often cannot, tho' I've practiced for Years to get it Right and as Fabulously as some of my Friends seem to Effortlessly be able to do it!   I still have this lofty Vision that one day my Showroom at the Antique Mall will Transform into the Vision I always had for it and never got around to... Eight Plus Years later!  *Bwahahahahaha!*   Mostly because, Honestly, doing Me Full On I was never certain would be Profitable and any Retail venture really has to be, otherwise, what's the Point?  *LOL*   So, I kinda Sold Out for the Profitability and Staying Power of having my Spaces for Eight Plus Years, being there before we even Opened... when many Great Vendors came and went, folded because they were Fabulous but not Profitable enough... that's sometimes how it goes.

  


If nothing else I have Staying Power, Tenacity and I'm Relentless in my Pursuits, I guess those are my 'Gifts'?  *Winks*   So I Work with what I have... and it serves my bottom line, so I'm not complaining so much as it's not what my Vision was for it and that can be frustrating.   I know all of the Mentors tell you to do you exclusively, but I only bothered with a Retail Hobby to make Money for sure... not to lose Money and take unnecessary Risks.   Tho' I suppose Experimentation is acceptable and not as risky, since I can Transform my Spaces any way I wanna and see what happens and then keep it Moving, dumping what doesn't Work for me and hanging with what does.  So that's the very loose Plan... ha ha ha!  And mebbe one day, my own Spaces will be such a Vision, as I intended, that I will wanna Cover them profusely like I do those that I Admire the superb Work of?



*******

Blessings, Love, Light and Laughter from the Arizona Desert... where we're hanging in there... even if it is sometimes by the Skin of our Teeth... Dawn... The Bohemian

12 comments:

  1. "There is a monotony of Days now that often makes us feel restless." Boy, is that ever true for me!

    I love what you did for your friend with the photos. I have only about 10 photos of my husband for over 40 years of being together. He was the photographer every where we went so he's not in any of the shots.

    Having your son help with some of the little jobs that needs doing is good for his esteem---not to feel like he's sponging off mom and dad---as well as it being good for you. From the caregiver view, it's gold to have someone who can stay behind with your husband so you get mini-respites out and about. I could only leave my husband alone for an hour or two tops and all the time I'd be gone I'd worry about him.

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    1. The Man, when he's feeling Well enough, can be left along for longer periods now and have Phone Check-Ins, but he hasn't been feeling Well enough lately for me to have a comfort level. So having The Son be able to be here in case of an Emergency gives me Peace of Mind so I can do essential things without dragging someone along who isn't feeling Well enough for me to. The Man likes to stay Home in his Routine and Bubble, Princess T looks out for him well, but she's only 14 so if he had an Emergency I know she couldn't handle it as well as a Mature Adult like The Son could/would. I'm always the Photographer too so not as many pixs of me either since I'm behind the Lens. I'm okay with that since I'm not photogenic and if I can't look Fabulous, well... Winks. The Monotony of Days we try to break up with Creative ways to SAFELY get out of the House, it works out pretty well, Arizona has a lot of Space and even if just going for a drive to nowhere in particular, it's helpful to dispel the restlessness and angst. Emotionally we've all be exhausted, I slept until 3pm Today, of coarse I hadn't retired til 4am either... I end up staying up all Night and Sleeping most of the Day away on purpose. Crazy Pamela went Home this Afternoon, the Girls had such a nice time together, both at Pamela's and here, it was good for their Morale.

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  2. lucky you have the so staying with you to help take care of all that stuff. my husband has just relinquished all hands on on anything around here. well, he cooks dinner, does the laundry, pays the bills, and takes care of the car. everything else falls to me to take care of. I'm lucky to have a good fix-it man that lives on my street. he takes on all jobs big or small.

    don't get me started on the decidedly unchristian 'christians'. and religion is just evil. all religion. it's sole purpose is to control the population. I do wonder, once Trump is gone, if they will continue to verbally assault strangers in public like they do now.

    by the time there is a treatment or vaccine, I think our society/culture will have changed. it takes 6 weeks to create a new habit...3 weeks to break the old one and 3 weeks to install the new one. we will be months down the road of new habits, not to mention so many small businesses will have closed permanently. it will be interesting to see what it evolves into.

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    1. It will all Evolve into something, but I don't know what either and it shall be interesting for sure. As for once the Moron-In-Chief is replaced with competent Leaders and Staff I think I'll feel more confident we can move forward in a Positive direction as a Country. I don't have to Agree with everything a Leader does so long as their intent has some Honor, Character and Moral Responsibility to the majority of the people and not just self-interest. Organized Religion I'm not a Fan of, my Church is Non-Denominational and a Street Ministry to the most Marginalized in the Inner City, which suited me Well. I haven't been able to attend in person for years due to Full Time Extreme Caregiving, but my Pastor and Wife are Dear Friends and know I fully support their Mission Statement to go into the Streets, Prisons and Hospitals where so much Need exists. So many we Serve aren't even Welcome in most Churches or would be shunned by Society as 'undesirables' I spoke of... Judgmental people annoy me, the Self-Righteousness isn't Godly at all in my opinion, Human Beings all require the same basic essentials of Life, Love, Respect and Dignity, period. The Man does some Chores if I prompt him, otherwise he's pretty checked out and relinquished everything to me to handle. I'm okay with that most of the time but I do need assistance and having our Son here is helping me so much to not feel the full burden of doing it ALL. As I Age and have compromised Health I find there is a limitation now to what I can shoulder.

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    2. your ministry is what Jesus was all about and I don't mean to include that type of service in my disdain for religion. in fact I wouldn't consider your ministry to be religion, just doing what is right and needed without proselytizing. well, I don't know if y'all proselytize or not. good works should not be contingent on the recipient accepting or having to listen to religious beliefs. imho.

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    3. We Welcome anyone to come to a Service but don't Proselytize, I'm against forceful Religion or sneaky tactics to lure people into any Organization. I think if most people of Faith and substance just did the good Work of their Spiritual leaning, whatever Religion it is, it's far more appealing to become a part of. I'm not sure who to attribute the Quote to but it's been my Spiritual Mantra: Preach to all the World, use Words if you have to. Actions always speak volumes regardless of lip service, if your actions are Godly and Loving towards all of Mankind, it has a definite Appeal that is genuine and authentic. To me, having Relationship with God makes me want to be a better Human Being, which in turn benefits all other Sentient Beings on this Earth. It doesn't call us to Perfection, but it strongly calls us to Service to improve the World around us and to be compassionate, Loving and put our Egos aside for the benefit of what we can do to reach out and lift up the fallen and most vulnerable. Anyway, I've never thought of myself as Religious since Denominational Religions don't line up with how I want to Serve ALL Human Beings regardless of their Belief or lack thereof. It's not up to me to mandate or dictate what another person Believes. But it should never prevent me from doing for them what I'd do for anyone.

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  3. Nobody knows what’s ahead of us. Day by day, week by week, month by month, the virus spreads and there is little that can be done and what can be done, isn’t. It is good that you have your son with you to handle all you have been doing.

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    1. Yes, having our Son here is such a relief to me not to have to do it ALL and to have even the Moral Support he offers too. He knows how complex it is Caring for his Dad with the Brain Damage and Poor Health, that I worry over everyone I Care about and Love. I am relieved School in person has been suspended until end of October at least, I wasn't sending her into Unsafe Conditions anyway as some wacko Experiment this vile Administration was trying to force upon us all. Nobody knows what this uncertain future holds and a lot of it is not going to be Good, because we can't seem to muster enough sensibility as a collective to do what MUST be done and the Economic collapse is sure to come once the tipping point of Pandemic Losses is fully felt. I think too many felt the Economics were mutually exclusive to the Plague, they are not. I also feel our National Security is compromised when just about every other Nation is doing far better and becoming stronger rather than weaker thru all of this. China has their Act together and is a force to be reckoned with, this Moron Prez underestimates the power of our Adversaries, he's foolish and they've played him like a fiddle, especially Russia. Well, he owes China, Russia, Middle East and Deutsche Bank so much Money he's indebted to them all and can't repay them in Cash, so he's Trading Favors at this juncture so that he can mitigate his huge Debt to them all. When American Banks quit lending to him due to his Failures, the ones who would had ulterior motives all along, they knew he's a Failure and that if they could install him in a Leadership role, he'd be their Puppet and in their Pockets.

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  4. Glad the son staying there is a win/win situation right now. That's a record 8 years at the Antique Mall. Sister Judy and I love the Brass Armadillo in Grain Valley, Mo. We have our favorite booths too!

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    1. I have really Loved being at the Brass Armadillo, we have Two here, one in Downtown Phoenix that has been there for about 24 Years, and ours in the Far West Valley has been here 8 Years. I was the first Vendor to sell something before we even opened to another Vendor who followed my Blog and recognized me from here! We became good Friends, it was quite amazing Serendipity! The Founder's Grandson is our Store Manager.

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  5. I really love scrolling through the photos on your blog. So much wonderful to look at. :) My daughter is the best photographer in our house, she does some amazing stuff.

    I got out an old photo album today and looked at photos of her from age 6 to 18 and marveled at all the time that's passed, seemingly in days.

    I used to be spiritual. A believer. Not anymore now, though. I still can respect other people, I would not take away a person's comfort.

    But people who have weaponized their christianity... yeah. No.

    It really pisses me off when, in the words of Anne Lamott, “You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

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    1. I Love that quote by Anne Lamott, how very True! *LOL* Weaponizing Religion is sick and those who do it I doubt are Spiritual, just using what will justify their unacceptable behavior in the guise of their 'Religion'. I Love looking thru the Old Photos and another Project I'm going to get around to during Pandemic will be to take Photos out of Old Albums and put them into embellished Altered Art Photo Boxes for Storage to save Space and look better. I will also purge Photos that were crappy or I am not sentimental about and use them for Price Tags at the Antique Mall on merchandise. I used to buy up boxes of Old Photos to make Tags out of and Customers loved that small Detail. Thank You for appreciating my Photos, I Love Photography and capturing Beautiful Imagery thru the Eye of the Lens. I have a decent grasp on doing Close-Ups but really Suck at the Panoramic shot! *LOL* Thus, you get a lot of the Close-Ups since that is the most Editorial of my Photography for the Blog. *Winks*

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl