Friday, June 26, 2020

Runaway Train... Blogging Off The Rails

So, post-dating my Blog Posts became like a Runaway Train as I have been Blogging off the Rails during Pandemic.  I Blog to relax, unwind and put Thoughts and what I'm Passionate about into words... to indulge in the Love of Writing and Photography.  To Journal Life and whatever I'm Passionate about and Love is Helpful.  Right now I feel impotent to be promoting much Positive Change in the World right now while vulnerably entombed at Home, trying to avoid the Plague.  This small Platform is a poor substitute reaching a small, but Cherished Audience.  I sought a way to just remove a Date to Posts completely, but couldn't figure that out.  I didn't know how that would sequence those Posts already Dated versus the new Undated either?  So, here we are at Frituesday the 39th of Junetember... or whatever Time, Day or Date it is in this blur of Pandemic Limbo we're suspended in!?

I finally got the Approval, after much convoluted requirements, to get my Truck's Windshield finally replaced Tomorrow!  *Whew!*  The Glass Company assured me that our Insurance wasn't the only one running way behind Claims during Pandemic and difficult to get Customer Service Contact with!  I couldn't help but Wonder Why?  I've seen less Vehicles on the Roads in the past Two Plus Months than ever in my entire Lifetime!  So did Claims just stack up and back up the very moment Pandemic hit, did they downsize Staff during it anticipating lost Clients and Revenue, what gives?  The Insurance Industry wasn't ever a Non-Essential Business and it seems doubtful legitimate Claims increased when less people were Driving?

I probably spent at least a 3-4 Week period where I didn't even have to fill up the Truck with Gas because I wasn't working and wasn't going anywhere anymore.  And if I did, it was carefully calculated to Shop very close to Home and at the most obscure locations I could find products still on the shelves.  My Windshield damage was actually Pre-Pandemic, but a small Crack when it first happened near the bottom center and couldn't even be seen from the Driver's Seat, so I ignored it.  Then our triple digit temps hit and the 2 inches became over 24 inches immediately, from bottom to almost the top, so I didn't want to get stopped.  In these incendiary Times, getting stopped isn't something I even wanna Risk... so finally I was compelled to have to replace it, who knew it had now become a rigmarole and so convoluted a Process?!

Add to that, we're still learning the ropes of living at Forever Boheme' and what Seasonal Maintenance will require on The Farm.  The outlay for Irrigation was the biggest Surprise, the Water is actually Free.  But the Annual Fee to Salt River Project, then hiring someone to do the Irrigation for us, when it has gone from Monthly to Weekly that we get Irrigated, during this hotter Season, got too expensive fast!  I can Opt Out, I could just let all the Grass die and have it ripped out and replaced by Desert Drought Friendly Xeriscape or Desert Landscaping.  But The Man really loves this Farm look and manicured Green Grass.  He just doesn't want to Maintain it himself, he probably even can't, Truth be told.  I'd had my Reservations about buying a Property with this much Grass to Maintain from the Jump and Voiced it during the initial Viewing as a potential Deal Breaker for me.

It was the one Neg and Concern I'd had about Forever Boheme', that's a lotta Grass to keep Maintained in a Desert Honey!   But when SRP assured me the Irrigation Rights made the Water Free, I just assumed doing Irrigation was no Big Deal and that we could do it ourselves and it wouldn't require Hiring Staff.  I also assumed, after the previous Owners Gifted us with the John Deere Riding Mower, that The Man could be taught to use it and happily ride it around, since he misses being able and allowed to drive.  I felt Mowing Grass with his new Big Boy Tractor Toy would be something even with TBI, he could Learn and Enjoy doing!?  *LOL*  He was adamant he would... but then, he's adamant about a lot of shit he thinks he can still do with TBI and then ends up not being able to successfully, if at all.  *Le Sigh*

T.J., the Guy we do Hire and is our Dear Neighbor, has Patiently tried to Teach both of us and especially The Man. Teaching Old Dogs New Tricks, well, you know how that generally Plays Out!  I'm rather intimidated, so it's no wonder The Man is also, the Irrigation can be slippery when Wet, trudging around in Waders... and neither of us wants to take any more Senior Falls!  The John Deere, I could probably learn and not wreck it or take out other shit around it while I'm a Student Driver?!   Mebbe!? *LMAO*  It is Parked in the RV Garage with The Hoard of Lovelies, so there is a lot of collateral damage that could happen if The Man or I were a Poor Student Driver, just sayin'!  I have Plans to have a Small Garage Shed built to house it separately... either in the back Acreage or the East Driveway section, which is large, since the previous Owner was a Trucker and parked his big Rigs there. 

Coming up on Summer tho' and the brutal temps now already being 113 or above, not much is getting done by Yours Truly once I overheat.  So, having Hired Staff doing the things I can't manage, is a Luxury something I did Budget for when buying this Property.  I just have some of it that is exceeding Budget, which sometimes happens with a New Home 'til you know after a Year or so what it's costing to Maintain it.  Brad The Pool Guy was cheaper to hire than my projections, so was the Pest Control and Air Conditioning Maintenance Plan Guys.  The Utilities were way cheaper than expected... so really my only hurdle is renegotiating with T.J. on this Yard Maintenance/Irrigation cost to make it affordable... now I'm no longer Working.  See, that was huge, Pandemic meant I had to give up my Part Time Work and that hit discretionary income Budget hard, like a ton of Bricks!

I know I will likely not be returning to Work and it's even iffy if I'll continue hawking wares at the Antique Mall if that falters or fails to yield sufficient Profit?  Right now they're discounting our Rents, but when that ends and when subsequent Waves of Pandemic hit... and they will... who knows how our Boats will float and who'll have Life Preservers and Life Rafts during a Titanic Moment in History?!  So there's a lot to consider and I'm Careful with Budget, T.J. said we'll Work something out that is mutually agreeable, I'm sure we can and probably will, for his sake and mine.  I just don't want any more Surprises like the Irrigation going from Monthly to Weekly, I had no Idea, SRP forgot to mention the Schedule changes Seasonally and drastically!  I guess if their Flat Rate Fee covers it all on their end and the Water is Free, they don't consider that you'll have to Hire anyone to increase that Cost? 

 It's not their Job to consider that, but it would have been Nice if up Front they mentioned that you don't get Irrigation in the Winter, by Fall it resumes to once a Month, by Spring twice a Month, then by Summer four times a Month!  It makes sense, and I was naive to assume buying a Mini Farm wouldn't be more Work than you Imagine up Front what it will cost to Maintain.  It's like buying Historic Homes, the first one is always a Learning Curve on the Labor of Love and outlay required!  *LOL*   Subdivision Hell had it's Learning Curve too on Dealing with a 'Planned Community' and it's HOA Drama and expenses... apparently, it's always something!  *Winks*  I'm still madly in Love with Forever Boheme' and it's Pluses far exceed it's Negs.  We'll walk it out and work it out.

Now that I'm stuck on The Forever Farm in self imposed Lock Down, I'm Grateful to have Space around me that is Beautiful and so Functional for our Needs and Recreational Pursuits from Home.  It's worth every Penny I Invest in it so I'll just have to Pony Up and Work my Hustle.  The Wheels are turning in my Head as to Streams of Income to supplement Fixed Retirement and Disability Income.  At least we have Income, I cannot even Imagine the Stress levels of Basic Survival for those who have lost theirs completely!  Tough times mean that Sacrifices will have to be made by most, if not all.   It was expected, even tho' none of us can accurately predict how much will be required of us individually or collectively?   We're all winging it and if you turn on the News, it's hard not to see the World just unraveling before your very Eyes, it's terrifying!

 I'm taking all of that one day at a time and limiting how much exposure I have to what's going on out there that would threaten to make me feel more concerned and upset than I already am.  I refuse to be uninformed or complacent, even tho' I know people who have decided that's what they must do in order to Cope or get thru this.  We all gotta do whatever we Feel is Right I suppose.  I made Peace with a few people who had really begun to Work my last Raw Nerve, whether they realized it or not.  Mostly due to their Politics, which in the Past I always avoided like the Plague, talking about that or someone's Religion... because... well... FUCK, that's instant Drama and a Headache!  *LOL*   Some will be oblivious about Triggering Friends or Family by their actions, attitude and words, no matter how estranged they become from damned near everyone, behavior becomes habitual after a time and ingrained.   Self-Awareness not being a strength for some people. 

The Man and I even had to Agree to Disagree about a very Important Issue Today playing out in Real Time horribly.  We can do so amicably, mostly because we both know our Life's Filters are so very different based on personal experience.  Isn't that the way it always is, what you've never experienced firsthand you can only presume to know, even in part and not fully Understand the pain of?   He acknowledges the deep pain and anger in me about this particular Issue... of Racism and deep seated Prejudices in America affecting so many precious Souls.   Souls of many shades, many backgrounds, many Religions, many Cultures, Sexual Orientations... all supposed to be One... and yet, not treated equitably as One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for ALL!  The Ideology of that has never been attained... ever!

With the impairment of his Brain Damage and being a White Man, he is having a very difficult time processing how a torturous Murder in one State can spill into Riots and retaliatory Violence in many.  That is missing the Point of what incites Riot in the first place.  So I tried my best to explain that not a single horrific incident is the Trigger that incites Riot.  But Generations of horrific incidents, including recent incidents stacking up like fucking cordwood, culminating to the breaking point, never really changing, never really showing improvements or concerns by the vast majority... who don't have to Live it their entire Lives and the Lives of their Children, Grandchildren, future Generations, are Voices left Unheard for too damned long.  Riot is the Language of the Unheard.  The Boston Tea Party was a Riot with looting and fueled tension between Britain and America, it wasn't a fucking "Party" that just happened to Shape our Nation... but it did.

The Language of Riot is Powerful, nobody can ignore it and if it's Symptom isn't Addressed, it's likely to spiral out of Control quickly.  It's like when you finally get so fed up and Angry that you begin using profanity loudly and get totally Set Off.  By then, whoever is or isn't Listening and paying Attention has no delusions or excuses to light the match, set the fire and walk away casually.  As if you could just Calm Down and tolerate more Abuse, more Dehumanization, more Inhumanity heaped upon you or those you Care about deeply!  Oh Hell no, that Motherfucker is now burning to the ground, isn't it?!  Yes, under intense Pressure they did finally arrest and charge the Ringleader Cop of the Lynching/Murder.  And charge him so far with mere Manslaughter... Yeah, that's not gonna cut it... that's a slap on the Wrist and everyone knows it that knows anything about Criminal Law!  That's not even the pretense of Justice being Served.

You don't even need Intent to be sent up for Manslaughter, it can be an Accidental Death you never meant to commit, but somebody still Died, perhaps even horrifically.  Kneeling on a restrained Man's Neck for almost Nine Minutes, cutting off his ability to Breathe, while pleading for his Life, while Bystanders plead for his Life, until he's brutally suffocated to his Death is NOT without Criminal Intent!  Even being filmed committing the ultimate Crime in broad Daylight with numerous Witnesses didn't make him Pause from torturing that Human Being to Death!   For WHAT?  I watched it, you watched it, the DA's Office certainly watched it before deciding upon the Charges or even to make an Arrest!  It took a Riot to even surrey their Asses into doing the Right thing!  Had that not been extensively filmed {along with other recent Hate Crime Murders}, would anyone have ever really known... or Believed such a thing could still happen in America in 2020?!

 WHAT was that Victim's REAL Crime that warranted Capital Punishment without a Judge or Jury?  A torturous Murder meted out by an Officer... and perhaps more than one Officer complicit in the Murder when the dust settles... who took an Oath to Protect and Serve.  Yet be his Judge, Jury and Executioner within 10 Minutes... rather Vigilante Style, except that they are Sworn Officers to UPHOLD THE LAW.  But they might as well have been a Lynching Mob of demented Citizens fueled by Racism!  Of a Handcuffed prone positioned Human Being who was clearly no Threat when they Executed him in such a heinous manner, while knowing they were being Filmed doing it!   The Officer even being so smug and casual about it as if this Man was some kind of sick Hunting Trophy Animal!  Racism and Prejudices are indeed a Sickness... a Disease... one as potentially Deadly and perhaps even more insidious than the COVID-19 Virus.  Because the Virus has no Brain... Human Beings do and they should know Right from horribly Wrong and despicably Evil that Kills and causes intense Suffering! 

I don't condone Violence, but I am Outraged... so don't misunderstand or misconstrue my Point and my Message.  Certainly Peaceful Protest would be ever so much more preferable.  Sadly, it would probably not be taken as Seriously as Riot and might even be ignored by most, Society can be so fucking complacent when it's "not them" suffering or Dying.  But when you now live in a Country where a Peaceful Protester is met with a strong Show Of Force... and yet heavily armed Lunatic Fringe Fanatics storming Government Buildings to intimidate Elected Officials because they've been simply asked to Stay Home to mitigate a Plague, are tolerated and even Celebrated and Encouraged by your President... something will give, finally snap and erupt!   It has... now even if anyone fails to Understand what led to it and what it is a Symptom of, they can't Ignore it and pretend it doesn't Exist anymore!  

Just saying Sorry will no longer cut it... not for Plague Victims and their Families and not for Hate Crime Victims and theirs!   These Deaths take an incredibly heavy toll on the Hearts and the Minds.  If it hasn't Touched yours yet in your Lifetime intimately, it surely could if it continues unabated.  Something must be done if the moral fabric of our Society is to remain intact at all and not further disintegrate.   We're all having to have The Talk now with our Children about the Dangers of COVID-19.  For literally Generations many Families have had to have The Talk with their Children about the Dangers of Hatred, Racism and Prejudices exacted towards them, targeting and victimizing them specifically.   It is long overdue for that Talk to no longer be Necessary in order for that Child to manage to Live out Life in America!  The Land allegedly of The Free and The Brave!   If America ceases to become Good and Just, we shall never be Great!


Written as Outrage simmers, and sometimes feeling like Rioting myself... because it's all so unnecessary...  Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Don't start me on Minneapolis. It makes me so angry. And I think the world is already angry because of covid and all the financial issues and unemployment. And then to see something so brutal and so horribly wrong... Well, I said don't start me.

    It's good to write, to brain dump. All good.

    1. So much hurt, anger, pain, loss, confusion, has come to a head clearly. I think a lot of Young People particularly are feeling that their entire Future has been put at risk. I am hopeful that their Generation will be the Change and move past so much that previous Generations got stuck on and failed at. I feel a responsibility to all of them to support the Voices being raised that are saying ENOUGH... it's not too late to do the things we should to correct what is wrong, has been wrong, in so many ways. But we have to start and to stop making excuses for or ignoring serious problems that are socially toxic.

  2. It seems that a lot of people in Blogville felt the need to wirte about the events of this past week! On top of everything else going on around here and the ridiculous troglodyte in the WH, it amazes me that we're all not out in the streets with pitchforks and torches! Writing is the saving grace for those of us who've already spent our time on the frontlines. I can't fucking run that fast anymore and my asthma doesn't react well to tea gas these days! Hang in there, sugarpie! xox

    1. OMG Savannah you had me laughing so hard I almost choked on my Coke Zero with that last sentence! *LMAOROTF!* Yeah, my Militant Days are probably drawing somewhat to a close tho' my Adult Grandkids do say I'm feisty and not afraid to speak Truth and confront those who aren't. Too many people just want to imagine there aren't the serious problems that need to finally be addressed. I do think Pandemic has made it glaringly obvious the disparities... those demographics Dying in greater numbers are telling. We now can't dispute whose on the Front Lines of defense and being hung out to dry... we can't dispute that our most vulnerable populations have been neglected either and are now being deemed dispensable by those in Power. I will hang in there, staying vertical is the most Militant Stand I can take right now... by refusing to Hurry Up And Die! *winks*

  3. I appreciated your comments on my just started blog and came to visit yours. I was thinking yours is just the most beautiful thing, which it is, when I began reading between the beautiful photos and I'm so moved I'm in tears and goosebumps. Watched the riot on the news last night but now I feel. "Riot is the language of the unheard," you wrote. What is on Australian television news tonight I will see with my heart and mind as well as my eyes. Be safe on your land. You and your loved ones. And thank you.

    1. Oh Mina, Thank You for the Kind Words and Heartfelt sentiments about what is troubling our Land. I was very Moved, to know people really do Care, which I am of the Opinion the greater Good will prevail, it's still so Heart rendering to watch the Language of the Unheard playing out and saying ENOUGH with actions that are difficult to Process. Peace is what is best, for every Human Being to feel Valued and Respected, treated with basic Dignity and Humanity... is that so hard? I don't Believe it is for those with a Tender Spirit and Love. I'm glad you enjoyed the Visuals of my Photography even tho' it sometimes is a tough read. Welcome to The Land Of Blog with your New Blog, it's such a Wonderful Community you're going to just Love it and connect with so many Kindred Spirits here, it's amazing how we find one another in vast cyberspace! Be Well and Stay Safe, Australia seems to be doing a good job of mitigating the Pandemic, I have Blog Friends there... the Fires were tough on you all too, the Natural kind, not ones set by Rioting Crowds. *Winks*


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl