Thursday, June 13, 2019

A Cat Named Bear... And Other Memories

I drove by the Historic Old Homestead Tonight on my way in to Work, I like to see how far along the Restoration now is, so I do that often.  It's like visiting an Old Friend that you really Miss interacting with Daily.  I ran into the New Owner and he had me stop and talk for a while, we've become Friends since the Sale.  He's living there full time now, in the Old Art Studio Cottage, which was the converted original Carriage House part of the property, while he's still working on the Restoration of the Main House.  That Cottage was always my Favorite Building on the Acreage too, I Miss it most.  He didn't intend to live on the Property, he was going to just Rent it out... but has fallen deeply in Love with it during the Four Years he's been Restoring it now, so moved in himself.  I wasn't Surprised, that's what happened when we first bought it too, initially as an Investment Property... then falling deeply in Love and moving in ourselves for over 15 Memorable Years!  It touches my Heart that he Loves it as much as I ever did, and is so Content to be living there, I'm so Happy to have Sold it to him, tho' I Miss it every day and the Homesickness for it never seems to subside over Time.

Those Years were steeped in Rich Memories, the Acreage always seemed to attract Stray and Feral Cats over the Years, it still does the New Owner told me.  It's like they gravitate to it, since it's a lot of Land in the Heart of a City with many Historic Out Buildings, so somewhat like an Oasis of sorts to City Dwelling Cats without a Home.  Many of those Strays and Feral Cats Adopted us over the Years, we always Welcomed good Working Cats since we had so many Outbuildings.  Miss Priss is the last of them actually to Survive and move with us here.  Some came to Live permanently for Years and the rest of their Lifetime... and others dropped by for brief visits and just stayed for a while and then moved on.   Every one of them was Memorable in their own Unique ways... and there were some very Unique Individuals among them.  One of the most distinctive ones was a Cat named Bear.  He was a grisly Old Tomcat with Crazy jacked up Deformed Ears but a Prideful Appearance that was somewhat Regal.  I don't know if he was born with Ears like that or if it was damage from Years of Alley Cat Fights, like a Human Fighter with Cauliflower Ears?

He was a very large, powerful Tomcat, but docile as a Lamb with People, especially Kids.   So I doubt he was Feral, tho' clearly he was a Stray and I don't really know how long ago he'd been owned by anybody, if ever?   He was fiercely Independent and stuck around on his own terms, that was evident from the first day he showed up and decided to stay a while.  I'm sure he could be scrappy when he had to be, but with the rest of the Resident Cats on our Property he was completely Chill.   That was how it usually was at The Old Property, for some Strange and Mysterious reason, Resident Cats and Visiting Cats never fought while there!   They co-existed Peacefully and in complete Harmony, which is very unusual actually... especially since half of our Resident Cats were Males and Cats can be very Territorial of what's theirs.  We always had food and water available and so it was like a Hobo Rest Stop for the Traveling Cats as we came to call them, Cats like Bear who came and went.  We never knew how long they might stay and be like Family... or when they'd disappear one day and depart, usually never to be seen again.  Being a Stray or Feral Cat in the City can be treacherous without a Home Base.

Bear stayed briefly really, he wasn't a long term Resident and I hesitate to even say he Adopted us at all, even tho' he was exceedingly Friendly and Loved being Photographed and fussed over.  He reminded me so much of a Regal Egyptian Sphinx, he had a great profile and the most intense gaze!   I always kinda Wished he'd Adopted us permanently, he made such a favorable impression on us all during his brief stay and I don't know whatever happened to him?   I like to think he just went on with his Wanderlust Nomadic way of Life and had a Happy Journey where ever that took him?  There was a Girl named Cheyenne that used to play with The G-Kid Force and she had told them Bear belonged to her Family.  But, we think that might have been Wishful thinking on the Child's part, her Family didn't own any Pets that our Grandchildren knew of and they played over there at her house often.   She and her Brothers never mentioned Bear after he left our Property, and they didn't live far away from us, so I really don't know, I just know we all never saw Bear again. 

It is always Nice to run into and get to speak with the New Owner of our Old Property, he's so very Passionate about Owning it.   If I cannot own it anymore I'm glad that he does, I really am.  Letting something you Love so much enter the Hands of someone else who will Love it so much too, well, it eases the Pain of the Letting Go of it.   I don't know that I'll ever truly be Free of the Missing of it and Longing for it, since I never really Wanted to have to Sell it and would have preferred it to have been our Forever Home, had circumstances permit.   But they didn't... and so Letting Go was necessary and in essence, mandatory, to get the Adoption of The G-Kid Force finalized.  And that was the Priority and the Right thing therefore to do.   People First... then Money... then Things... should be the correct order of Priority.   The People were of the Highest Priority... we also desperately Needed The Money at the time, that a Free and Clear Old Property Sale provided... the Historic Homestead being The Thing, it just had to take the back seat to the other two higher Priorities unfortunately and be Sacrificed.  What is Sacrificial is never Easy and sometimes just hurts.

The Gardens there on the Acreage were Magnificent, they'd had over a Century of things growing in them to develop into a mini Oasis, a lush Secret Garden behind high Adobe, Rock and Old Brick Walls surrounding it.  Walls covered in elaborate Mesoamerican Style Hand-Work of a bygone Era, when Hand-Work was elaborately done by Masons and was a Work of Art, not just a Wall.  Now if they build you a Wall it's just gonna be a Wall with little to no Aesthetic in the Creation of it.   We have Cinder Block Walls around the Back Yards of these Properties but the Workmanship is poorly done, rather plain and ugly.   You wouldn't be able to have Artful Walls that are Individualistic and Creative anyway, the HOA and probably the Neighbors would lose their shit about it!  Even Paint Colors have to be 'Approved' and are strictly limited in the Hues 'Allowed'!  There's a lot I would do to this Property to put our Stamp upon it if we but could... but we can't.  So I don't really Care enough to do anything to it at all.  If approval by Committee, comprised of complete Strangers, is necessary and mandatory, it's just not for me, I can't be bothered... so I'm totally therefore ambivalent about how it looks.

I like Quirky, Funky, Artful Stuff, for the Interior and Exterior of our Home if left to my own devices... that just doesn't Fly in Subdivisions controlled by HOA and The Pretentious Posse, who are not of our Tribe.   So the Freedom to do as you please to what you Own isn't possible here... and I tend to Rebel against that internally at least... which is very likely Why no Attachments have formed to Villa Boheme'?   The Man likes the structured environment and the Serenity of nothingness out here, he is unlikely to ever want to move and I've reconciled myself to that Fact since he says it often.  He absolutely thinks this is Living The Dream, so for him it is and I think he wants me to assure him I'm not going to insist we move while he's above dirt.  What is Familiar to him, since the catastrophic accident, is crucial... even the move here was tougher on him than the rest of us because of the upheaval and unfamiliarity.  Now he's Familiar with it all and his Routine is in place so he's utterly Content with it.  I wouldn't want to disrupt that... even tho' for Princess T and I, we'd just as soon find a Forever Home we'd want to live... well... Forever.

For her it's likely, once she's Grown, she'll find her own Forever Home somewhere she prefers anyway, so she doesn't have to feel stuck here.  The Young Prince got out of Subdivision Hell the first opportunity he had and I didn't blame him, he's much Happier now.  Even tho' during their visit his Roommates and Partner gushed about Villa Boheme', he reminded them that yeah it's impressive, as long as ya don't have to live here!  After a mere Week, they agreed and said they were glad to be going Home!  *LOL*  I liken it to being at some Nice Luxury Resort, which is great to Visit briefly, but doesn't Feel like Home, nor will it ever, since there's just No Place Like Home, be it ever so Humble!   As for me, I just don't know... this will have to be Forever... if I precede The Man into the Afterlife, because on this side of Time and Eternity, he does not want to ever have to move again and so we likely won't.   I've considered, if it was just me I had to consider, would I stay very long, if at all?   Depending of coarse upon circumstances and options, I'd have to say NO... I would NOT!   The New Owner of my Old Property asked me if I was Happy in my New Home now?  I had to confess that Happiness has eluded me since having to give up my Historic Home involuntarily and by necessity.  He said he could clearly understand Why, he's already strongly Attached to the Old Place himself.  It tends to have that effect on people. 

There is a lot to Feel Grateful for though, I can't discount that, this is Luxurious Living and I never had that before, so it's a new Experience to have and certainly there's numerous Positives to that.  Homesickness is an intense Feeling tho', no matter where Home was or how 'substandard' to whatever you have now, by the Standards of Society at large anyway.  I'm now realizing the Reality that Homesickness never just goes away with Time, I had Hoped it would.  If you got out of The Hood most people cannot fathom why you'd long to go back, rather go back, enjoy being back if even for visits... if you are living in an affluent area now especially.  So you don't talk about it much to anyone, because it is tempting for anyone not Feeling your Feelings to project their Feelings about it onto you.  To feel forced to be more appreciative and not entitled to Feel what you just Feel isn't Helpful.   Neither are comparisons Helpful, comparisons being highly subjective.  Some days I think I am relatively Happy, all things being relative.  And that will just have to be good enough.  And staying put for the sake of my Family isn't a hardship, not with how Lovely this all is.  So long as I'm at least entitled to just Feel what I Feel and not have it suggested by anyone that it's not Okay to because they aren't the one Feeling it. 


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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