Sunday, May 19, 2019

The Random Musings Of An Intense Procrastinator

The Cable TV fix was effortless, they did it over the phone on a Saturday Morning so I didn't even have to get out of my jammies to Deal with it!  If only everything could be that easy, right?!  Remember how I was going to be so Gung Ho about Life Simplification after buying that Book?  Well, that's been harder to jump start into actual Action, rather than Theory and Intention, where it has languished in a rather dormant stage for now!  *Le Sigh*  Even with such motivation as driving around Historic Neighborhoods Dreaming about owning Quaint little Cottages like this one to Downsize to, I haven't yet begun in earnest yet!

I do that sometimes, get all Gung Ho inside my own Head, and then wrestle with my Body to submit to compliance with The Master Plan and actually DO something!  I have ALMOST done something each of the two Mornings since buying said Book.  But then Dealing with Air Conditioning Drama and Cable TV Drama back to back took a priority each day of the past two and... well... my motivation for tacking on Life Simplification Action just petered out! 

I had a Plan to toss a minimum of Twenty-Five objects into a Box that I'd purged from a designated Target Area each day to Sell or Donate.   Then before I ever did it even once... the Plan dropped down to a minimum of Ten objects.  So far NO objects are actually in the empty Box, but in my Head I've thought about what COULD be in there, from random objects I've pictured could go in, if only I could find them?!  *LOL*

I suppose this is Why the Author suggested not to go Mental about what you're going to accomplish, by Dreaming too Big about your Imaginings of it and trying to do too much all at once!?   Clearly she doesn't Know me and that I'd instantly bypass such advice! *Bwahahahaha!*   And that my Doing of Too Much all at once actually means I'll probably Think of Doing all of that and actually Do NONE of it in actuality!  I Believe it's called Bipolar Mania when you actually activate said Mental delusions.

Perhaps it's just as well I've remained in the Depressed non-motivated dormant activity Bipolar State of Being for right now, that is just Action Based inside of my Head?  *Winks*  Otherwise no telling how many Mania induced Boxes of objects would have exited Stage Left already?  Perhaps the hesitation has Saved me from purging the whole damned House of objects and The Man would come out of hibernation to find an empty Home?  *LOL*  IF ONLY... Problem Solved!  *Winks*

I am rather extreme and an All or Nothing kinda Gal after all.  Right now I'm in Nothing Mode clearly... and can't get my All jump started yet.  I have to Work Tonight again anyway and after last Night's Shift shit show, literally, no telling how much Crazy will walk thru that door Tonight?!  Saturday Nights are just about as Interesting and unpredictable as Friday Nights in the Hood!  I do miss the Hood, but NOT that part of it... the Weekend Crazies and utter Madness that can unfold!

Out here in Rural Affluent Subdivision Hell the Weekend is exactly as boring as the Weekdays.  It's still rather like an Episode of the Twilight Zone when you walk outside and find a deserted community devoid of any signs of Life!  Sometimes that actually Creeps me out!  But I did get my Yard Work done this Morning before Noon, since the Cable TV fix took no time at all.   No, this isn't a pix of my efforts or my Garden here, but it sure was Pretty, on the Canvas of my Imagination I'd have more Flowers everywhere, like I did at Historic Bohemian Valhalla!

 And it's not Hot yet, it was Cool and Breezy, so it was a way to Feed the Soul to be out communing with Nature and in utter Silence, being Present with the Moment of just doing Yard Work and Gardening.  Rather Meditative, which is Good, since I haven't been utilizing the Meditation Room for much Meditating lately either!  Sure I've gone IN there and Hoped I might absorb some Zen quickly, so I could just get on with my Day, but it doesn't really Work like that! *Smiles*  When not Feeding my Soul I'm Feeding my Face with delish Healthy Options like these Divine Gourmet Vietnamese Spring Rolls from 'Rice Paper' Restaurant!

I had 'The Spider', 'The Spicy Asian' and 'The Phat Buddha' Spring Roll selections.  With fillings such as Lobster meat, Tempura Shrimp, Jalapeno, Mango and Sriracha served with Asian Pesto Sauce {Spicy Asian}... Tempura Soft Shelled Crab, Mango, Avocado with Miso Ginger Sauce {Spider}... and Tempura Asparagus, Tempura Shitaki Mushroom, Cream Cheese, Basil, Mint, Mango with Peanut Hoisin Sauce {Phat Buddha}... well, I was transported to Spring Roll Heaven my Friends and filled with Goodness! 

Yes, I've been restless, which means not being Still enough.  Though I could Sleep the whole day away, if it were not for having to get up Early, even when there's no School for Princess T, since Alduin Needs his Heat Lamps turned on to bask!   But by Wednesday she will be out of School for the Summer and sometime before June 2nd Alduin will be Moving to join The Young Prince in Washington.  Then I might not have to get out of Bed at all if I don't want to!?

That sounds rather like Bliss except that Caregiving Calls... and The Man, if I languish too long in Bed, gets concerned enough he's coming in to check on me often and ensure I'm not Dead?   And I can see the Anxiety that causes him and that without my Direction, he really doesn't know what he should be doing and his Routine has been interrupted.  Which then creates some distress for him too, Routine being paramount to those with TBI.  Besides, his new Media Chair and Bigger Screen New TV is in our Bedroom... so there's THAT!  *LOL*

And if I really oversleep, he's doing something that bypasses his Safety Prompts, like trying to cook me Breakfast without Supervision in the Kitchen, to 'Surprise' me and MAKE me Wake Up and roll out of Bed!   Since I don't Need the added Surprise that he might have forgotten to turn off the gas burner afterwards and potentially burn the House down, it is motivation enough to ditch the Fantasy of Sleeping In!  Besides, we were out of damned near everything, since I hadn't been Grocery Shopping, so my Breakfast he cooked was spartan indeed!

This is all we have... he said as he offered up two manhandled Eggs and a piece of slightly burnt Toast, but hey, it's the Thought that Counts, right?  It's Sweet... and even tho' I know it was done to ensure I'm still among The Living... and to jump into his Media Chair and turn on his Big Screen TV in there to watch the 5th Rerun of an NCIS Episode... it's still Sweet!  Awwwww... can ya just Feel the Love folks?!   Princess T was on her usual Social whirl of a Friday Night Slumber Party followed by Saturday Morning Pool Party at somebody's House... so we won't see her 'til Tonight.

She will check in on Grandpa for me either by Phone or dropping in for a while, since I'll be at Work... well, as soon as I get out of my jammies and tame these Dreads that is... and try to look Human!  *LOL*   But her Weekend Social Calendar is usually pretty full now she's a Teenager.   So it's ALMOST like NOT having Children in the House anymore... or what I THINK it would be like NOT having Children in the House anymore, I could be Wrong, I dunno... it's been so long since we haven't had Children in the House!   Actually WE, as in he and I as a Couple, have ALWAYS had Children in the House!  So as a Married Couple, we have absolutely no idea what it would be like?!  *Smiles*

I was a Single Parent for many Years before that... so for me, a Childless Home hasn't existed in like an Eternity, so when Princess T isn't Home now, I'm Imagining that's what it's like???   And it's pretty damned Serene and not as Messy, so I'm also Imagining less Work when it actually happens, perhaps 5+ Years from now, God be willing and the Creek don't rise?!  She hasn't yet said she's NEVER moving out, so that's a Plus!

Of coarse The Prodigal SMI Daughter in Mexico reminds me there's Three more Siblings like Princess T that are Younger, and if Saint Maria, the Paternal Gramma, doesn't become an Immortal... well... we don't even want to consider that Reality, it Scares me!  I may come for a Visit VERY soon, The Prodigal Daughter hit me with this Week, coz I have my Passport now!  But don't worry, I won't try to stay Forever Mom!  Whew, well, that's Good News I says... I didn't say which part was the Goodest News... her coming for a Visit after a Nine Year Absence, or her not trying to stay Forever?!?  *Winks*

Don't Judge... Seriously Mentally Ill Adult Children can be as much of a handful as any Child of any Age... and they're bigger and much stronger... and I'm getting Old and really worn out from having Hands full!   I think I could still Take her if I had to, and not even spill my drink, since if she triggered me I think I could snap and top her Mental, but we just don't wanna have to find out.  She will laugh and admit I can still be very Scary when I go Mental, I've had so much Practice at this Age I should be!  *Winks*  But The Prodigal Daughter is doing so much better and I'm really Proud of her, I just don't know that a Little Bit of her wouldn't still go a Long Way, you know?  She Laughs about that too, she has Self Awareness of her Muchness!  And how Much of her Muchness we could Tolerate???

Usually with The Girls... since the majority are String Bean sized... I just have to say, Stop... and LOOK at the Size of me... then LOOK at the Size of you... and assess whose got the upper hand here Ladies should some shit Go Down?!  *Winks*   The Son claims my Biceps are still bigger than most Guys he knows and that when I go Mental, he wouldn't be Crazy enough to Challenge that... so it's been my Ace in the Hole... but shit, as you're nearing 70, how long can that Legendary Status possibly last without being Tested?!   I Guess your Legend has to endure!?  *Bwahahahaha!*

The Man laughs that off and said, well Honey, your Mom was still pretty Scary at 84, so the Scary DNA runs Deep with your Women and nobody REALLY wants to risk Testing that!  True that, Nanna was a Force to be reckoned with right up to her End, and even I wasn't Crazy enough to Challenge THAT Fierce Old Welsh Woman!  Besides, I was pretty certain she  could still put some powerful Gypsy Juju on you if you pissed her off!  *Winks*  The Karmic consequences just weren't worth messing with!  And when the Dementia set in with Dear Mom, she could have gone Cage Match with damned near anyone, wiped the floor with them and come out Victorious I tell ya, sit down and have a Cuppa Tea!

But when I'm not being Bat Shit Crazy around here myself, I tend to just be Chill and sit around in my jammies lately and not do a damned thing I Intended to Do after I've Done what I absolutely must Do and can't avoid.  Avoidance, I'm getting pretty Good at that actually, I could Win an Award if they're handing out any for the very best Intense Procrastinator on the Planet right now.  I didn't used to Procrastinate, in fact, Procrastinators used to annoy the shit out of me.  Now that I'm one of them, not so much anymore am I annoyed by it.  So now I know why they weren't bothered by me being annoyed at them too!  *LOL* 

I've got Out Of State Company coming by the end of next Week, when The Young Prince brings his entourage from Washington State down to visit and pick up all his stuff.  Well, that will be a bunch of objects leaving Villa Boheme' Stage Left, so does that Count I wonder in my Quest for a more Simplified Life?  *LMAO*   If his MIL Suite up there is emptier, at least that will be one portion of Villa Boheme' that is completely purged and Curated to an Extreme.  Then I could at least sit up there and see how it Feels?

With Four to Five Young Men coming to have to Host, I thought I should Tidy the House some, for a decent first impression for the Visitors at least.  Then I remembered... it's Four to Five YOUNG MEN, and when was the last time a Young Male gave a Rat's Ass about whether the House was Tidy or in Order?   Like NEVER... so I did a really Half Assed tidying up.  Since I am not certain how many might be Gay or Trans Young Men and they might actually Care?  *LOL*  Mebbe not... well, I Hope NOT, since I didn't even break a sweat with what little I did to prepare to receive them all!  *Winks*

Besides, The Young Prince has probably already addressed what a Lunatic I am, so they shouldn't be too shocked at whatever Villa Boheme' is like when they get here?  *Winks*  At least I did get all Critters relocated out of the Guest Bedroom and back to where they should be, after the Air Conditioning was repaired, so that Guests wouldn't be Sharing Space with Reptiles and Rodents, so that's preferable, right?  *LOL*   Of coarse, from what The Young Princes has relayed, they have a virtual Zoo of Critters on their Acreage in Washington State, so mebbe they wouldn't have even Cared about that either?  

 Can I come visit sometime so I can finally experience Washington State I says?   Always wanted to see that Ho Rain Forrest, mebbe I could even meet Mick Dodge and Sunray Kelley?!   And learn how to build us a Mushroom House out in the Rain Forrest and move up there with ya'll?!   NO, Gramma, Please don't just drop in... humnnnn, now that sounds like Great Leverage to me, whaddya think folks?  *Evil Cackle!*   I won't of coarse, but he doesn't know that... you gotta keep em on their toes, even after they finally Move Out!  *Winks*  And he never reads my Blog, so my Secret is Safe with you all!  *Ha ha ha*


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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