Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Curious Nature & A Brain Damaged Juror

As I regale you with fabulous imagery from one of my favorite Shops in Phoenix that we recently visited Today, CURIOUS NATURE, the Story line for Today's Post will be a Brain Damaged Juror, namely, The Man, who got called up for Jury Duty Today!  Yep, even tho' we explained over the Phone that he has Traumatic Brain Injury, is a Wander Risk and has considerable Memory Care Issues, apparently if you don't or can't provide a Specialist's Letter verifying all this and getting you excused, you still have to show up!   Go figure!!!  The fact a Brain Damaged Juror is even considered is amusing to me actually.  And since we couldn't get an appointment at the VA in time to get this Letter they speak of... and I'm not even sure some random Doctor who'd never seen him before at the VA would even provide one... I decided this might just be a hoot, so let them determine if he's suitable for a seat on the Jury or not?!?

Of coarse the downside to this was that he hadn't worn Business Casual since way before his Catastrophic Accident and it's required.  In fact, he didn't even own any Business Casual, since his lengthy Career was in the Military and he abhors wearing what he calls Monkey Suits.  So he'd never bought any and wouldn't voluntarily go anywhere it was required anyway.  *LOL*   So this meant an outlay of considerable $$$ to purchase two pair of Slacks and Shirts that would qualify as Business Casual and could mix and match for a few days, weeks, or however damned long a Trial might last IF they chose him and required him to be a Juror?!?   I found two shades of Khaki that he liked, a Bush Jacket Styled pair of Shirts, one lighter and one darker, with matching Slacks.  He looked like he was going on Safari, but what the Hell, this would be quite the Adventure I figured, so why not?!  *Winks*

And they were from Cabela's, his Fav Shop, which is almost hilarious, Cabela's Business Casual... but that's about as Fancy as I was gonna be able to rig him out voluntarily.  So that I could get him on board with something he might remotely wear after this... not likely, but remotely... Okay, so he'll probably never wear them again, so it's a complete waste of money we don't have for Wardrobe... whatever!   He'd tried them on in the Store and said everything fit fine, so I thought we were good to go.  Until this Morning, almost as we're ready to head out the door TO Court... and I see him holding up his Pants so he can walk!  WTF?!?!!   Now, getting a Brain Damaged Adult ready for anything is an Ordeal, especially if you don't have sufficient Lead Time to Prepare them Mentally and/or they don't wanna do whatever it is... Le Sigh.  So you really don't need any last minute hitches in the itinerary to throw the Schedule off further or discombobulate them all the more!


As it was, his Anxiety was elevated and he'd been rehearsing simple lines like who the Hell he even was and Where was he going again and Why!?!  I didn't know how much of The Process they'd allow a Caregiver to be a part of while they decided if he'd be performing this Civic Duty or not, so we had to assume I wouldn't be present for part... or mebbe all... of it?!?  Without the Magical Letter there was no telling how snarky they'd be in person, on the phone they'd been snarky and indifferent enough about his level of Disability not to Care and make that clearly evident.   So long as they didn't lose him or allow him to wander out of the building... and let him bring his Walker with Seat on it everywhere... and get him to where ever he needed to go... and back to me whenever they were done with him... well, what could go Wrong?!?   Yeah, I had plenty of Concerns of my own but I didn't express any of them, no point Freaking him Out all the more!

But I digress... there he was at Home, AS we're ready to walk out the Door, and he's holding his Pants up as he walks... and he's got one of his Military Retired Marine Sniper Baseball Caps on, the one with all his most important Medals affixed and that he's very Proud of and always wears!!!   Uh oh... First of all you can't wear that Cap Honey, they said nothing resembling a Uniform.  I'm not taking it off he defiantly says, I'm wearing it and they can go to Hell!!!  Splendid, well Okay then, not my Problem, their Problem... so on to Second of all... why the Hell are you holding up your Pants like that as you walk Honey?  Because I don't have any Belts that fit... and they will fall off if I don't do this... he states matter-of-fact... like you'd always do this while on your way to Court!  Oh Lord Jesus and all the Saints... and you tell me this NOW Honey?!?!?!  So we make an Emergency pit stop at Wal-Mart to buy a Belt before the long drive into the City... so that his Pants won't fall down in Court!!!   Ya gotta see the Humor in all this folks, ya really do... or you'd lose your ever Lovin' Mind!

Now, I might add that Last Night they give you the Recorded Phone Message of which Groups have been Called Up to definitely Serve... he was Group 3006 lets say, and they said all the way up to 3005 were Called Up and on the 7:30 a.m. Docket!   So you're there, at the Edge... because now the Recording says that any other Groups must wait until 10:15 a.m. Today to call in again for the next Recording for a 12:30 a.m. Docket they might be Serving on!   OMG, we live out in the Boonies and it's not as if leaving Home after calling in at 10:15 would even get you there by 12:30... and they also say you have to allow 30 minutes minimum to get from Jury Parking via Shuttle to the Courthouse too!   And that in between Courtrooms could be very long walks... The Man is Disabled enough to have considerable Mobility issues, so there was also THAT!  Getting him anywhere in a hurry, well, it ain't gonna happen in this Lifetime!  Tho' they sternly Warn that being Late is UNACCEPTABLE!  Who knows what the consequences are... I didn't really want him to have to find out my Friends or we'd have a Real Situation!

So, we'd gotten Princess T dropped off to School and could leave the Boonies of Rural Subdivision Hell at Rush Hour and head into the City by about 9:00 a.m..   So that we could arrive somewhere around the Downtown Courthouse Area around the 10:15 Call In time, to see if his Group was Called Up or Released?   And my Plan was just to go to Lo-Lo's Chicken & Waffles Restaurant for Breakfast and hang out, so that if he got Called Up or not, we'd have been at least fed well beforehand and be close enough by to make it on time.  Nothing settles the Nerves like a Breakfast of Comfort Food, right?  *Winks*  So, we're there eating our Breakfast when the Magic Hour comes that we could listen to the next Recording that would either include his Group or Release them?  By the Mercy and Grace of God his Group got released and Groups 3012-3015 were the ones Chosen!  *Whew!!!*   So now he's all Dressed Up with nowhere to go, but we're Thankful!  *Winks*

And all was Right with His World again, now that his Civic Duty has been done according to the Recording, and they won't bother him again for at least another 18 Months.   The next time we visit any VA Doc I'm going to ask them if they have a Permanent Letter they can give us precluding him from having to ever Serve Jury Duty?   There's probably not, even at the Schools if you had a Letter from a Doc or Specialist telling them that your Child had a PERMANENT LIFETIME Disability, you still had to get a CURRENT Letter stating that EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' YEAR... as if they didn't understand the Labels Permanent and Lifetime means FOREVER!!!   To me it assumes Privilege in the first place, that every Family can afford to schedule Medical Appointments so freely for trifles like getting Letters to excuse such things as Absences when a Child isn't Well and misses School... or for getting Letters verifying over and over again the exact same Disability they will always have!!!

And don't even get me started on the Year that the Elementary School let a whole Year of The Man calling Princess T in Sick at Attendance, before they told me that since he wasn't allowed to Adopt her because of his own Disability, all those Absences would be unexcused because he wasn't considered her Legal Guardian!!!   And that from now on, I had to be the one to make the Calls for any Absence to be excused!!!   WTF!?!?!  I Kid you not... and I lost my shit right there in the Office, holding the Threatening Letter they'd then sent me that my Child had missed too many days of School UNEXCUSED and so they'd reported her as Truant and I could be brought up on Charges!!!   Okay, so don't threaten me with a good time, an arrest would be somewhat like a Vacation, and The State would then have to find Alternative Care for the trio I had been a Full Time  Caregiver for at the time... so that would have been Interesting... and Crazy EXPENSIVE to the Taxpayers!  *Winks*  Needless to say the School reconsidered and didn't send the Sheriff to my Door... and Medical Letters being required are STILL a pet peeve of mine!

And now I am in Compliance by waking up when I don't even have to, in order to call her in Sick early, even if I've worked a Late Shift and will be tending to a Sick Child all day.   And even tho' The Man rises super early every day of his Life because he just does... so it would be ever so much easier and more convenient to the Family for him to make the Call to Excuse her Absence and explain to Attendance why she won't be in that day.   And I can't tell you how Thrilled I am when she's on any Breaks from School so I don't have to Deal with them... like next Week when Spring Break starts!  *Whew!*   Tho' we will have the Dreaded IEP Meeting for this Year after Spring Break is a Wrap... so there's THAT Ordeal still pending.  *Ugh!*   Are you trying to bring your F's up to a passable Grade I asked her this Morning... she stared at me blankly... I mean, at this point I'd be okay with D as in Damned Near Failing in any of the Classes she is absolutely Failing at this point, which is three out of the four of them!

{BTW: That's The "Safari" Man in Cabela's Business Casual and his Fav Hat!}
Back on Topic...Because unless they put that Kid back in the Resource Classes for Special Ed Students, we're not likely to see those A's and B's coming back, like when she had those kinds of Services daily in her curriculum and 'Qualified'!   My first Agenda at said IEP will be to ask the School Psychologist and Special Ed Teachers how we can get her Re-Qualified for their Services again... so she's not Failing everything with this ridiculous total Mainstreaming thing they dumped her back into?!?   Clearly total Mainstreaming is NOT Working for her.   And after meeting her 'Regular' Teachers, I don't Wonder Why... they expect a Special Needs Child NOT to have Needs that would require more Effort or Work on their part... AS IF!   And any Failure she has, even if she had Great Success in Special Ed Classes, they dump squarely on HER Shoulders, coz Lord knows IT'S NOT THEM AT FAULT!   Nope, they'll tell you everything Wrong with your Child but they take zero Ownership in not being able to assist any Child to Succeed.  So round and round the Cycle and Battle wages to try to get this Kid an Education!

She is High Functional though and often the Special Needs Child with High Function has that held against them.   You really have to be Low Functional to Qualify for extended Services or you end up Mainstreamed even if you can't possibly keep up or have barriers to Learning that should be accommodated sufficiently... and aren't.   And once you fall a certain amount behind, well, there's absolutely no catching up.  No recapturing Credits in enough time by the time you are in High School to Graduate anywhere close to your Peers... and Aging Out or Dropping Out becomes the typical Outcome, which is pretty dismal for these Kiddos.   And there are some Alternatives that are semi-suitable... and some that mos def are NOT, depending upon the Special Needs of your Child and their ability to handle it, be Trained for it and meet them at their Point of Need... so that's all a crap shoot!

A lot of the Alternative Schools can be structured for the Behaviorally Challenged Child, and if your Child isn't Behaviorally a Problem, the exposure to that is very Negative and frightening for them!  Anytime the Administration of an Alternative School calls it Intake rather than Enrollment... and the Campus is on total Lock Down with Security devices on every single Door, and you hear blood curdling screams down the hallways... it's a Clue that the Institution is not appropriate for your Child's Point of Need!  It's more like a Penal or a Mental  Institution than a School!  Yeah, that actually happened at a place The Young Prince's High School 'referred' us to, even tho' he'd never had Behavioral Issues and had no Delinquency History!   And we asked the Principal and his Team to please unlock the Doors and let us all out of there ASAP when we realized what kind of a Placement it actually was!  I'd of been afraid for his Safety and Well Being! *Yikes!*  And the rest is History since he had to Drop Out involuntarily 'cause there were no more Alternatives to the Alternatives for him.   A Beautiful legitimately Genius IQ Mind Wasted and given up on by The System!

And I guess I came Full Circle to this Topic only because of the recent Revelation, AS IF everyone is truly Surprised, of Affluent Families rigging The System to get their Offspring into prestigious Colleges even if said Child shouldn't be there.   I wasn't the least bit Surprised actually... Money buys lots of Options, Legally and Illegally, I thought everyone knew that's how it Worked already by now?   And Yes, I know they crossed the Acceptable Boundaries of just Donating obscene amounts of Cash to buy a Building for a prestigious College or something, so that their Child would have Favor {Wink Wink}... which really isn't a whole lot different, still BUYING OPTIONS because you just CAN AFFORD TO... tho' in a Legally Acceptable way.  And Privilege has it's Rewards, it always has and it always will, that's the way of things.   That a less Privileged Child didn't get their rightful Placement due to these rigged Placements is tragic beyond Words.  But if a Legally BOUGHT Placement had been done, it's still taking the place of someone's Child who could have and should have occupied it instead, just sayin'!

It has never been a Level Playing Field and I doubt that a few High Profile Indictments, tho' about 50 is Impressive in one Sting I must say, is going to Change Business as usual.  In fact, they may open a Pandora's Box and proverbial Can of Worms if they delve too deeply into how corrupt The System actually is, and probably always has been, and how high up the stench of Corruption goes.   I've worked alongside people with more degrees than a thermometer from prestigious Institutions, that couldn't find their Ass with both hands in their Careers and weren't up to the Job. 

 But somehow they got in... to the Colleges... and where ever those Degrees suitably Impressed... or they had Favor {Wink Wink}.   Back in da Day many of the Female Executives, and there were fewer of us back then, called them The Blue Eyed Boys helped along by The Good Ole' Boy Network.   I doubt much has changed really... as a Woman, or a Minority, you had to work twice as hard and be ten times as good at what you did, to 'get along' and rise up the Corporate Ladder.  I got there, to the Top of my Mountain and Pinnacles of my Corporate Lives... and I got there early, with Impressive Titles that didn't necessarily Earn you the Respect you'd not only Earned, but well Deserved... and damn... what a tough row to hoe it was to attain and maintain!  And when you look at the likes of 45 and his Cronies at the Highest Levels, you don't Wonder Why really... some things never Change very much, if at all.   .

I remember when Affirmative Action first was formed and then there was always the suspicion and speculation, that if you were a Woman or a Minority, you MUST have JUST been a 'Quota Hire' and not legit!  I can't tell you how insulting and offensive that is.   But I remember before Affirmative Action, when things like Sexual Harassment, blatant Discrimination, Prejudices and being paid less than your Male Counterpart on the Job was so commonplace that you just endured it and handled it best you could.   I remember a time when as a Young Executive, who was also a Single Parent, I had a Boss show up at my house one Night stupid drunk and asking to 'Party'!  I told him point blank I wouldn't crawl under him if they were bombing Phoenix and if he didn't leave I was calling the Police!  When I turned him in at Work, I became The Problem for Management to try to 'solve'!  I got Transferred and as far as I know he had zero repercussions to his Career and was always on The Prowl.  It didn't end mine, I did quite Well... you just gotta learn to kick Ass and take Names effectively, if they can't Respect you, if they Fear you, that'll do!  And if they underestimate you, they'll likely never see you coming, so it's an Advantage! *Winks*  Yeah, when I hear The Me Too Movement I'm not at all surprised at the high statistics of Victims.

And in a Perfect World we wouldn't have all these Issues about such Superficial things as one's Gender, Sexuality, Race, Religion, Ethnicity, Socioeconomic Standing, Disability, Age... and the List could go on and on ad nauseum of the Hang Ups Society still has.   John and Yoko had it Right in the Lyrics of one of the most Beautiful Songs and Message ever:

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today (ah ah ah)
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
Songwriters: John Winston Lennon
Imagine lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. You are Superwoman, with a truckload of extra patience thrown in.

    The world has never been fair and probably will never be. However, every now and then we ‘seem’ to make a little progress only to be pushed back again. We can’t give up the good fight.

    1. Absolutely, be part of the Resistance, always! Winks

  2. WOW! What a day! At least you got a good comfort food breakfast in and the pictures of odds and curiosities are fabulous!!
    So being honest , can you take the belt back since he ended up not needed it and perhaps some of the clothing? You can get some of your money back.
    I was the guardian over my little brother his junior and senior year in high school. I made him go to summer school and he went kicking and screaming until he met one of his teachers who ended up mentoring him the whole summer and he got caught up enough to graduate with his class. Is that an option since she's failing 3 classes and school is out in a few months?
    My friends son is also going to an alternative school and most all the schoolwork is done online and he goes for a few hours during the day to ask any questions.
    I love that you had the courage to report your boss and stand up for yourself even though it got you transferred. good for you!! sucks that the good ol boys club allowed him to breeze through with no consequences though.
    Hang in there!

    1. Here Summer School costs extra and is taught by same Teachers that couldn't get her taught during the School Year... so if they couldn't get it done thruout the year I'm not confident 3 weeks of Summer School (they're on the Year round schedule here) is going to amount to much for the financial hardship it would create. I have more confidence in the Resources Special Ed Teachers she had before which were making remarkable progress with her and want to request she be back under their guidance if she can qualify for the Services again?

  3. You have a lot on your plate woman. You're far stronger than I am. Glad he didn't have to serve jury duty but what a load of shit to have to go through so that somebody could tick off a box.

    1. LOL, I'm glad you saw it in a similar Light as I did Lily. At the end of the day don't they have an enormous population they could find more suitable than someone who would have significant barriers to the Duty and FORCE them to do it anyway just to tick off a box? Anyway, Thank You for the sweet Words, we got thru it and that's one tick off my To Do List now! *Winks* Hope things are going better for you... I need to stop by your Blog and catch up.


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl