Monday, November 5, 2018

Dia de los Muertos ~ Part III ~ And A Rant



So the Dia de los Muertos Festivities are a wrap, these are the final images I took of the Celebration to Share here in The Land of Blog.  I was pleased with how my imagery turned out, my Photography lately has been hit or miss as far as quality goes lately.  I don't think it's the Camera... this Photographer just hasn't been very consistent.  *Le Sigh*




I'm not certain why that is either and so I take more pixs to ensure I get some decent frames.  That's the Beauty of digital Photography compared to the old days of Photography.   Remember when you just had to send a roll of film off and cross your fingers that you weren't paying to develop crappy pixs?  *LOL*  My Camera screen isn't large enough for me to gauge whether or not it's in perfect focus tho', so I always have to wait 'til I download on the big screen of my Computer at Home.




And I'm still having to endure the hassle of oversharing on Facebook first in order to auto correct the resolution for Blogger's capacity, or the images just won't load here.  *Le Sigh*   My Blog is Free tho' so I'm not complaining, it's just an added step I'd prefer not to have to bother with, I've become lazy and spoiled like that!  *Smiles*  There are probably other aps that could do it too, but I also don't like to have to learn new things to have to remember how to do!  Apparently at this Season of Life my Old Brain has reached capacity on knowledge it can store adequately and retain?! *LOL*




Every so often The Family gets worried when my Forgetfulness seems extreme, they Test me to see if I'm really still Mentally 'present' and remember who the Hell they are?!  *Bwahahahaha!*   One time I was out with The Young Prince and lost my Truck Keys numerous times... as in MORE THAN THREE times within an Hour!!!  I'd just set them down randomly and walk off, then we'd have to retrace our steps for him to find them again so we could leave where ever we were!  *Uh Oh!*  If he had not been with me, being The Key Locator, perhaps I'd still be at The Mall!? *Winks*  I like to think I'm just distracted and weary with Caregiver Burnout and it's not just advanced Senior Moments!? *Smiles*




Speaking of Caregiver Burnout and Issues, the Homeless Young Female Friend of The Young Prince is still here so I've still got a spare Child in the house!  Her Dad allegedly Forgot her on Saturday, when he had been scheduled to pick her up and take her and her possessions to go live back at Home.  He was a No Show and I didn't Judge, like I've said I've forgotten a Child before, so I gave him the benefit of that doubt and he Promised her he'd come Sunday instead.   I got Home from Work last Night and she was still here!   New excuse was he has to Work and now has to wait for a Day Off!   Uh, what... you Work 24 Hours a Day Dude, WTF?!?   That's a lame excuse, pick your Kid up Before or After Work!




So many Parents not up to the Job nowadays really piss me off!  It's as if they don't really Care about the Safety and Well Being of their Offspring and are so Egocentric they cannot look beyond themselves and their own comfort and convenience!   No Wonder I now run into so many Grandparents raising Grandchildren!  And not all of the Parents are so legitimately Disabled they legally cannot raise a Child either, some are just Deadbeat Parents and dump their responsibilities on anyone handy!   Some Parented up to Age 18 and then kicked the Child to the curb even if they weren't ready to be self-sufficient and live independently!   As if their Job was done Magically on that Birthday of said Child!




The Young Prince wryly jokes that he has so many Homeless Friends now because they all turned 18 and so the Parents just don't want them anymore!  My Lifelong Friend living with me right now wryly joked that I have Homeless Friends now because many Retired and are in that Season of Life Transition like she is, finding it difficult to Live on their fixed Retirement Incomes!  *LOL*  With my Gallows Humor I have this Mental Landscape on the Canvas of my Imagination of a bunch of American 18 Year Olds and Seniors wandering where ever they can manage to temporarily stay.  Like bands of Gypsies without any Real Homes and unwelcome or not tolerated everywhere by the 'comfortable' masses that just consider them a Social Nuisance!




I've personally been Homeless once, right after a nasty Divorce Years ago and with a Four Year Old and Six Week Old Baby in tow, ain't no Fun!   Perhaps because of that Point of Reference my level of Compassion and Empathy is heightened and I'm now paying it forward.  I had Friends and extended Family put me up way back then, until I got back on my Feet and could find a Safe Haven from the Psycho Ex.  My Gratitude knew no bounds, you can't live in a Vehicle or on the Streets with Kids that Young.  Actually Living on the Streets is likely difficult for anyone of any Age and most especially for anyone without a means of Support and Self-Sufficiency.  Now The Man and I have apparently become that same Safe Haven for a few who've unexpectedly found themselves Homeless temporarily. 




Today I'm contemplating whether or not to load this Young Girl up with her possessions and just drive her to the Dad's House taking him at Face Value that he's just too busy to drive out here from the City?   He's told her she can move back Home so I'm Assuming he's not feeding her, and us, a line of bullshit?   She's a really Nice Kid with no place to go, she's too Young and Attractive to be on the Streets without incident and high risk, the Grandson was more concerned for her than her own Parents.  If it were my Child I couldn't be blind to that fact, but some Parents just can't or won't face the facts... not until a tragedy befalls and they then just have to!   Reminds me of a Parable my Pastor once told of a Young Man who fell in the mud and couldn't get out.  His Dad said he wanted to Teach him a Lesson and just left him there.  The Son died and as the Dad cried out to God Why, the response came down, "What was more Important, The Lesson or The Son?"




Now, that said, Prodigal Children can be strong willed enough to make bad choices, sometimes really bad ones, so you can't always vilify the Parenting.  We've had The Prodigal Child, it's not Easy. And Families have to decide how they will handle that situation internally, it may or may not be a Parental Issue at all?  I don't get the sense this is a Prodigal Child tho', by her behavior and Character here being exemplary, but I could be wrong... and mebbe she and Parents have Issues we're unaware of in their relationships?   Mebbe the Home Life was always crappy or dysfunctional and even being turned out was preferable?   We can't assume every Home is or was a Good one... or a particularly Nurturing one.  I get the sense this is a Child who just Graduated High School, turned 18 and got turned out.  It happens more often than most people realize who are decent Parents with realistic Parenting foundations.  




Turning a Child unable to self-sustain out is like letting your Juvenile House Pet out and expecting it to somehow survive like a Wild Animal might, it's irresponsible and unrealistic.  I told The Young Prince we can't be picking up Stray Kids and taking them in like Abandoned Pets tho', it just doesn't work that way.  She will have to leave, I'll take her to a Ministry for At Risk Youth if the Parents don't take her back in.  I did Ministry Work for over 20 Years and almost anyone can find themselves in a difficult situation if they just keep on Living... shit happens... there but for the Grace of God are we all!   I'm keeping an Open Mind that things will work out well for this Young Girl, since she has talked of her Plans for the Future and they are Good Plans.  The Plans of a decent Young Person filled with Hope and very attainable Dreams if she has a Network of Support on that Journey.




It's way different having a Senior Lifelong Friend with a Pension staying with you temporarily, while they square things away and enter the next Chapter of Life.   An 18 Year Old with no means of Support needs a permanent Guardian until they attain Self-Sufficiency and can live Independently.   We're already raising Special Needs Grandkids that may need Guardians longer than the Average Young Adult would, so we don't need Spare random Kids to support.  The Transition into Adulthood isn't seamless and they don't have it all figured out Magically at Age 18.  That's a News Flash to any ignorant Parent that assumes that they will and figures that since Legally they're no longer responsible to Support them, it's not irresponsible to kick them to the curb or dump them off like an unwanted Dog at the Pound.




Sorry this Post Topic hasn't been all Buttercups, Rainbows and Unicorn Farts, I'm just appalled when ever I see Abandoned Pets and Kids trying to just Survive somehow and without Help!   I can hardly stand to see a Stray Animal barely making it, nevermind a Human Child!   Yes, Technically they are Legally now an Adult at Age 18... I'm Aware of that Technicality and Social Label bestowed upon them when they hit that Birthday.   So, lets just call them a Vulnerable Adult then if they have not yet acquired the skills and means to be self-sufficient and support themselves.   Because that makes them Vulnerable... and Adults... which is still a Problem.  And it's on my Heart and Mind coz we have one under our roof right now that's not even ours!




And another one that IS ours, since The Young Prince turned 18 in August, but having a profound Disability we always knew it might take a Minute for him to gain Independent Living and Self-Sufficiency, so we were always in it for the longer haul.  Even if he had moved out at the end of the Year as Planned, shit happens... and as it turned out, where he had Planned to Live is going to be Sold and all Renters there would have had to find Alternative Arrangements anyway.   That's one of the problems with Renting, you're at the Mercy of the Landlord's Plans.   And now I've Ranted about it all I feel better even tho' there's no Solution yet.  *Smiles*




I mean it's not like she eats that much and she's a Good Kid, she's even keeping The Young Prince's Living Spaces cleaner than he would and they get along like Twins.  It's just I'm not Adopting any more Kids, you know?  *LOL*  Yeah, they're Cute and all, but so are Puppies and Kittens any I'm not Adopting any more Animals either... you have to set your Boundaries.  *Winks*  We said that every time a new Abandoned Cat turned up at The Old House is what The Man warned... True that!  *Bwahahahahaha!*   Every Cat we've owned has been a Rescue Pet, usually Abandoned by someone else who just didn't want it anymore or neglected it... or just moved and didn't take it with them.   Difficult to wrap my Mind around when it's now happening to 18 Year Old Kids tho', in the better areas of Subdivision Hell no less!  WTF?!?




It all seems rather Archaic, like those Stories you hear from Old People where there were Orphanages that had to take in Kids like them that the Families could no longer Support or were Orphans.   I Hope as a Society we're not going backwards like that, Heaven Forbid?!?  It's always a very horrific tale of what those places did with the Children, and how badly so many were treated by often Sadistic Adults, who never should have been allowed to handle or work with Children!  In the Paranormal Shows we like to watch, it's always the worst locations to investigate when it's an Orphanage, Mental Institution or Penal Institution, the Negative residual Energy is still palpable even if it's been Abandoned for Years!




And that does bring us back full circle to the Topic of The Dead... and The Day of the Dead Celebrations to Uplift this Post some!  Yes, when speaking of The Dead is the most Uplifting part of the Post, you're probably Laughing hysterically now, right?! *Smiles*  Otherwise, if there was nothing remotely Funny or Uplifting you'd read it and then probably need a stiff drink!?  *LOL*   Mebbe you're already drinking, I dunno, I sure Wish I had one lemme tell ya!  But it's only 7 am and I don't drink, so... I'm having some Tang instead.  *Bwahaha!*




And that's coz we ran out of everything else to drink, coz when you're running an impromptu Hostel for The Homeless Friends you and your Grandkids have, and have a house full of people, well, you run out of shit faster.  *LMAO*  I'm an Old Hippie, what can I say, Communal Living really doesn't bother me that much actually, it's preferable... what bothers me are the Social Ills that cause people to HAVE TO live Communally to just make it and Survive!   I foresee Communes, not filled with Young Hippies like in the Sixties, but us Old Ones... the Seniors who have to Live Communally to make the ends meet on their Pensions.  You know, when that Greeter Job at Wal-Mart or the Senior Citizen position at McDonald's doesn't quite supplement it enough!  *Smiles*




Seriously tho', around these parts I've seen more Seniors working at the Golden Arches than I do High School Kids... it's rather Sad.   And my Senior Friends who have found they have to go back to Work at some crappy Job to supplement the Pension after Retirement, are telling me some humdinger stories about their Employment lemme tell ya!   Where they have Supervisors who are perhaps 20 and know everything, so are rigid and condescending!  So it's probably Good I'm Working at my Antique Mall instead after Retiring from my Corporate Lives and entering into Full Time Unpaid Caregiving, while waiting for the Age to draw my Pensions and Social Security.   Otherwise I'd probably be setting some Young People on Fire at... well... those Companies shall remain Anonymously Nameless so I don't get Sued for harming their PR!  *Winks*




You see, I'm that Feisty Senior that just has zero tolerance for nonsense or being patronized just because I'm Older... or dealing with passive aggressive types trying to Lord it over others... or recently promoted inexperienced Management that got a measure of Authority or some Title and can't handle it coz it goes to their Head.  So the crappy Job would probably think I'm 'difficult'... have an Attitude Problem... an Anger Management Issue... or am just Nuts... probably all of the above combined!?  *Winks*   I don't think I could take any of it that Seriously anyway when I'm just handing out Fries, Gourmet Candy, or putting Stickers on Babies as they exit the Store.  *LOL*  Perhaps having had Real Serious and Demanding Careers has made me Bougie like that?!  *Bwahahahaha!*




Even the Seasonal Work can get ridiculous, my Friend told me that many want you to Invest in buying their 'Uniform' that would cost a whole Paycheck and you'll only be freakin' working there six Weeks!  *LOL*   Ummm, for that short a tenure you should just have some Borrowed Uniforms to give the Temps!  Hell, even the Salvation Army gave me a Jacket and a Bell to Borrow when I did that gig Seasonally, they didn't ask any of us to Buy all of it!  *Smiles*




Okay, so I hadda now give ya a Blast from my Past of THAT one, when I was still very Active in Ministry Work and Volunteer Work, while still often working full time at my Corporate Careers.   Sometimes I Wonder how I juggled it all?  As Age catches up with me now I'm hard pressed to do the Full Time Caregiving and a Part Time Job, you know?   I come Home from my Shifts sometimes and instantly fall asleep in the Recliner because I'm physically whipped and just cannot stay awake!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*   Well, our Antique Mall is 55,000 square feet so it can be quite the Workout, I don't think I got that much Exercise when I had a Gym Membership?!   The Force would remind me that's coz I mostly just used the Sauna at the Gym... True that!  *Bwahahahaha!*




So yeah, Lifetime Fitness didn't get me lean and muscular, or in Shape, but I did have Great Skin and a very Relaxed countenance from all those Steam Sauna Treatments!  *Winks*   I Miss those Saunas, it would be great to have one in the House!  I hadda give up the Gym Membership when the Young Prince outgrew their Day Care, which was part of the Major Benefit of joining when you're Single Parenting your Grandkids and have a Disabled Spouse you're Caregiving for, they had Children's Gym Activities in their Free Day Care!  There's no way you're taking a 13 Year Old Boy around the Gym with you and I didn't have anywhere else to put him!  *Le Sigh*   Besides, he wasn't allowed in the Ladies' Sauna, where I resided during alleged Workouts!  *Bwahahahahaha!*




And once her Big Brother couldn't attend with her anymore, Princess T wasn't going... she is timid about going anywhere without her Brother in tow.  With her Social Anxiety Issues she latches onto at least one of us all of the time... if it's not him it's usually me.   It used to be Grandpa before his Catastrophic Accident and Brain Injury, now he can't Cope well with a Kid latched onto him anymore.  *LOL*  In fact, tho' they were very close, now with his TBI impairment they're constantly fussing with one another like Siblings and she's more inclined to act like the Adult.  *Le Sigh*   Well, she is like a Mother Hen, a rather ratchet behaving one sometimes, it's probably Good she says she doesn't want Children.  *LOL*   This was her throwing me some Shade because I said or did  something apparently 'embarrassing' in Public to a 13 Year Old!?  *Bwahahahaha!*




What she doesn't always pick up on is that often I do or say it on Purpose to BE an Embarrassment, to Amuse myself, because I'm Wicked that way!  *LOL*  It's the best disciplinary method for any Teen actually, to threaten to act up in Public if they don't line up!  They get mortified you'll Embarrass them and they'll lose their Street Cred while with you!?  *Smiles*  You know, they won't be or seem Cool anymore, which is a Fate worse than Death for any Teen!  She always rolls her Eyeballs if I do or say something deemed an Embarrassment and then says, "Why don't you just Kill me now..."   *LOL*  Of coarse it stops working when they turn about 18, The Young Prince thrives on being a Spectacle in Public now, it's a Young Adult Thing.  The Controversy and unacceptability of it all is Cool to them now! 




Of coarse at about 18 they don't necessarily want to hang out with you anymore because you're lame and do boring things.  Besides, they have a Life... perhaps THAT is why some Parents completely detach, I dunno?   Perhaps some Parents actually think they were still Cool and did interesting shit... and being confronted with a Generation that says, "No, you're NOT anymore..." offends them?  *Bwahahahahahaha!!!*   I hear some Grandparents lament that their Middle Aged Adult Children are still trying to act relevant and Cool around their Kids {the Grandkids of the Seniors lamenting} and be their Friend instead of their Parent.  Yep, seen that... it's rather pathetic actually, when the Kids are clearly in Charge, even if they're like TWO Years old... and the Parents aren't in Control at all... and probably never have been!?  Plus, who wants to see some Thirty-something Year Old trying to fit in with Children or Teens and be their 'Friend', it becomes a complete unflattering Spectacle!




No, I suggest you just Be the Parent, the Kiddos will likely Respect you more for it.  And probably secretly appreciate the boundaries and parameters that will make them feel more Secure about your ability and authority as the alleged Responsible Adult in Charge of them.   Who wants somebody in Charge whose acting like a Fool or immature and inept after all, not even a Kid I suspect!   See, we're solving the Problems of the World in this Post aren't we, we're getting Deep!  *Ha ha ha!*   Parenting doesn't have to encompass Perfection, there are no Perfect Parents... nor Perfect Kids... if you think you're one or have them, you're delusional!   Yes, I said it... I've run into delusional Parents and they're Clueless about Reality, they live in an Alternate Reality and their Kids would never... and that's HILARIOUS!




And HOW do I KNOW this for Sure?  Because other Kids Love to Rat Out the Kids whose Parents think and actually Believe THEY WOULD NEVER and brag about it way too much.  So that you know what's REALLY going on that the Parents don't know about or wouldn't Believe even if told by a reliable source!   Every Generation has done it, I know shit about the alleged 'Wholesome' Kids whose Parents said THEY WOULD NEVER, that would turn their Parents World probably upside down and sideways if they were confronted with the Evidence contrary to their delusions!   My Kiddos of each Generation I've raised have probably been too Transparent and Open.  But sometimes they held their Mud about some shit they did until they were much Older and they Shared what we didn't know about previously!  Now those were some Interesting and Colorful Stories lemme tell ya!  So just sayin'!




And our Kids were not Angels by any stretch of one's Imagination and perhaps that's why it sometimes annoyed them if a delusional Parent bragged on the Wholesomeness of Kids they knew who were deceptive as Hell and not all that?!  *LOL*   My Grandkids are the same, they said often the WORST Kids are the ones most Adults think are Lil Darlings... because the Kid acts so fake and saccharine around Adults so it's all a facade!    




The Eddie Haskell effect I suspect?  *Bwahahahahaha!*  If I'm told "They're an Eddie" then I know straight up it's all an Act put on to impress us. *LOL*  Were you an "Eddie" as a Kid my Friends?   The Kids who Suck Up to Adults too much are always highly Suspect!  *Ha ha ha*   If you Call them Out they usually act stunned, like they don't quite know how to handle it when the Act is questioned as disingenuous and put on, not at all authentic to Self.   Then we have the Real Conversation where they come Clean, I can Respect that, when any Kid comes Clean about not being The Perfect Child, since there are none and most of us know that.  Well, except mebbe some Parents who want to remain deluded... or mebbe have that anomaly of The Perfect Child, them being The Perfect Parent and all... I dunno?  *Winks*  There are Good Kids and Good Parents, just not Perfect ones.   And it's a damned difficult Task... being a Parent or a Kid nowadays.




I am really Grateful that I was born in my Generation, I think being a Kid has become more difficult overall.  I think Social Dysfunction is at an epic Crisis level actually.   I think Modern Kids are Dealing with it all as best they can, some better than others.  I think those of us getting Older and being Older need to not get so Old that we forget what it was like to be Young.   I really do Like most of the Young People I know, I think at their Core of Being they are some Great Folks working Life out as they go.   We're all a Work in Progress, I know this every time I happen to be more aware of my own shortcomings and imperfections.   I Hope you stay aware too?




I Hope that we remember to set our Priorities correctly... People first... then Money... then Things... in that Order.   Mix it around and you are very likely to have things go awry in your Life and just your basic state of Being.    If Money and Things become more Important than People to you, it will show up in Negative ways, you can count on it.  In fact, you can take it to the Bank... mark my Words on that!




As the Holidays and Holy Days rush towards us, as the end of another Year quickly winds down, we all might be thinking upon our New Year's Resolutions for 2019?   We might be re-assessing our Priorities if they have gotten out of Order or Imbalanced?   Balance and Moderation being Key factors in just about anything, it's not so uncommon for things to become imbalanced or extreme.  Lifestyle Changes often take some time to establish and Transition into, if you know that Change is necessary, for whatever reasons and Seasons of Life.




I happen to really Like the Season of Life that The Man and I are now in.  It's probably the most comfortable I've ever felt in my own Skin actually, Aging does have certain benefits as well as drawbacks.   There is a certain Freedom and Liberation of having had the privilege of attaining Old Age and Mellowing.  Your views on things shift dramatically because your Priorities become quite focused as Time winds down.  You realize that the Small Stuff doesn't really matter and that most of it is the Small Stuff so you don't sweat it.




In your Senior Years you've probably already moved thru at least some of "What Is The Worst That Can Happen?" type of shit Scenarios thruout your Lives and since you're still here, you clearly Survived it!  *Winks*   Survival is what it's all about, moving THROUGH shit and leaving it behind, getting over it and moving forward towards Destiny, whatever that may bring?  Your Attitude and Perspective along the way will have a lot MORE to do with your Outcome than almost anything else actually.   So Maintain the Right Attitude and Perspective always!!!




In Life we'll definitely have Loss... Sorrows... Grief... along with all the Good Stuff we will also have along the Journey, it's a mixed bag.   Every single one of us will one day Transition from Time into Eternity and be Called to our Afterlife, whatever that holds is The Great Mystery.   Those we leave behind in this Realm will have to Deal with us being not Present in the Flesh anymore, they may or may not Celebrate us and our Lives, but I Hope they do.  To be totally Forgotten is perhaps the greatest Sorrow of all.




Remembrance and being Eternally Loved is Sweet, it is Positive Energy.  As we Celebrated Dia de los Muertos I am reminded of that very Positive Energy manifested when paying Homage to our Ancestors.  To those who came before us and have left us, temporarily, until we enter into their Realm one day and become one of them again, Hopefully reunited in the Afterlife.




Every Culture, in fact, every Individual, has their Ideas about what the Afterlife might be like.   It is one of the Great Mysteries of Mankind what happens once the Soul departs the Earthly Body and fails to Exist in this Realm.   As Technological Advances continue perhaps we'll get more Clues?  I find it to be personally a very fascinating Investigation into a Realm that is really not clearly Understood but which we suspect does exist.




Whether or not you happen to be a Spiritual or Religious Person matters not really, one day you will Die, that's a Fact.   Some Fear Death, some don't.  I think many times people just Fear the Unknown of it all.   Even if whatever version we Imagine is all Wrong about where the Afterlife exists and what it's like, if it brings Comfort to the Living, well, no harm no foul, right?   Death is gonna one day send us all there, where ever "there" is?!




I personally do have the Belief, by Faith, that a Heaven exists in the Afterlife Realm.  To me that just entails Presence with God.   To me Hell is just Absence of God.   For me, not having Relationship with God would be Hell, whether here in this Realm or any other one.   Is there a place of Hell, I suspect there could be... some Hellish conditions already exist in this Realm, so why not another one I figure?   Some might Believe absolutely nothing exists after Death, just The End.   If they truly Believe that then they better make the very best of Now and Here coz if they are Right... just sayin'.  




Circumstances do often shape and/or Challenge the Belief System of people, if they have a set of unfortunate or bad Circumstance they cannot Imagine a God or lose their Faith.   If to Believe something or someone exists ONLY IF all is Fabulous for you just seems naive to me, I can't understand the logic, I've tried to, but I just can't.  Life isn't always Fair or equitable, even in the Natural World bad shit happens all the time even to the Cutest little Creatures going about their Cute Harmless Lives.   All of Creation is so complex and interwoven, so Awe Inspiring, that I just can't Imagine it wasn't Created by a Creator, a Supreme Being of some magnitude and omnipotence... whatever Title you bestow upon the Being.




So, here's to the Mysteries of Life and the Mysteries of Death... I Hope those of you who Celebrated it had a Wonderful and Memorable Dia de los Muertos... Dawn... The Bohemian

2 comments:

  1. That poor girl! I Cant imagine the level of abandonment she feels by her parents and family. Heart breaking!! Its also got to be hard on you guys on a fixed income. Its hard to be able to take care of everyone but you seem to have the knack of doing it! As the saying goes- you've earned some jewels for sure for your crown.

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    1. It is indeed Heart rendering, regardless of the Family dynamic, Children are still vulnerable at such a tender Age of just entering Adulthood.

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

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