Sunday, October 28, 2018

She's A Cat...Clown...Wolf...She's Driving Me Crazy!



We can never actually nail down Princess T's Halloween Costume until literally she's walking out the door to go Trick-Or-Treating Halloween Night!   But she'll be Obsessing about Costume for literally Months prior to Halloween and changing her Mind constantly about what she wants to Be!  *Le Sigh*




She's a Cat... a Clown... a Wolf... driving ME Crazy!  So as it happens every Halloween, she'll end up Being something spontaneous, even tho' I spent a fortune on an initial early Costume she was temporarily adamant to Be and probably won't even wear, and I'll Be Crazy for Halloween!  *LOL*





It's actually one of our Crazier Halloween Traditions and Rituals, nailing down her Costume... and don't even suggest a Solution... we've tried them ALL over the Years and Failed!  She will Obsess about going to Spirit Store and Costume Shopping EARLY, you know, to get the best selection!  There's no delaying that Trip til she's more decisive, unless you want to go from Being Crazy to Being utterly Insane?!?  *Winks*




When this extremely OCD Child get Fixated on something and utterly Obsessed, she's like a Mad Dog with a Bone.  So don't even try to wrestle the Fixation and Obsession Bone from her unless you want to risk being attacked by the likes of a Pit Bull on Crack!  Seriously, you have no Idea how tightly she Guards her Fixations and Obsessions, because clearly they Feed her Frenzy for whatever it is!




This Year the Fixation was on Being a Black Cat... we HAD to find Black Cat gear while the Black Cat gear could be had!  She was Obsessed with the Black Cat Idea, she Practiced incessantly before the Mirrors in the house to look, sound and act like a Cat... a Black one... because Black is her Happy Color of coarse and no other Color would do!  *Smiles*




I've heard her incessantly go on about Black Cats now since about late August.  I've heard her incessantly ask when the first Spirit Stores would be open so we could go Black Cat gear shopping on Opening Day?!?  I was Praying Spirit Store, or any damned Store that sells Halloween gear for that matter, would have Black Cat shit available?!?




Miraculously, and Thank You Baby Jesus and all the Saints, when Spirit Store finally did Open, Black Cat shit was apparently Popular enough to have a very good selection of Black Cat shit!  *Whew!*  She agonized over the Ears tho', the gazillion Ears they hawk and the gazillion Cat Ears she already has at Home almost wouldn't do and weren't 'Right'!  *Shit!*




Well, this is IT, you'll have to get what you get and not throw a fit I remind her!  We spent the small fortune on Black Cat shit and she waltzed away Happy as a Clam at High Tide!  *Whew!*  She spent the next two Weeks or so rehearsing the Black Cat ensemble, just to get it Perfected and 'Right'.   She was having such Fun with it, so I don't even Care, I ooohed and aaahed at how Black Cattish she was... we ALL did... to keep the Peace and so that she wouldn't go Feral on us!




I cautioned her not to get too carried away wearing her Black Cat ensemble practically everywhere, even to Bed... you know, the Mother's Instinct in me knew it would get totally fucked up and unusable for Halloween otherwise!  She Promised me she was taking great Care with her Black Cat shit and she seemed to be actually, so no Worries.  I mean, she's 13 now, not 2 prancing around in her Costume incessantly... but I completely Forgot what an Unlucky Number 13 is allegedly supposed to be, right?  *Uh oh!*




And I forget sometimes how utterly Nuts the Average 13 Year Old is too... and this ain't your Average Garden Variety 13 Year Old, so times that version of Nuts by infinity!  *Le Sigh*   Yeah, Science hasn't even come up with a Number yet to describe her version of Nuts by percentages!   So, Okay, it happened... and it was bound to happen when it's worn for about two Months before Halloween even arrives and costs less than six bucks... the Ears broke!  *Gasp!*




She came down one day wearing them and utterly distraught!  Black Cat shit make-up running all down her crumpled little Face, from the river of Tears she's been crying as she looks at herself in the Mirror with broken Black Cat Ears on her Head!  She's very Dramatic... ALWAYS... so she'd apparently stood there a sufficient while in Horror, looking at her now defective Black Cat Ear Headband sitting on her Head, until she was utterly hysterical about it!   I'd heard the Wailing and gnashing of Teeth from clear Downstairs even before she came stomping down to show us! *Le Sigh* 




Oh Holy Mother of God I thought, what Apocalyptic Crisis has befallen her NOW?!?    The Guys scattered, I think I heard The Young Prince mutter an Awww Shit as he passed her on the Stairs to hide out in his Room so that he'd not have to Deal with it!  *LOL*  The Man's "Prepubescent Girl whose Going to be Going to Pieces" Radar went off, that's the only time he moves with any sense of Urgency anymore, in the other direction of coarse!  He's Survived numerous Wartime Deployments, he's not risking his Epitaph reading Done In By the Dramatics And Hysteria Of A 13 Year Old Girl!   *LOL*




When it comes to Princess T's Dark Dramatics and Dealing with it, I'm typically an Army Of One... since The Guys suddenly develop the See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil stance, so as not to risk just escalating her Evil backlash coming in their direction!  *Bwahahaha!*  "What's the matter?", I say with as much Maternal Compassion as one can muster when you know it won't do an ounce of Good and you might as well just kill yourself now so the suffering won't be too prolonged, agonizing and intensive.  *Ha ha ha*




Well, LOOK!!!!, she Wails and points to the one now wonky droopy Ear that won't stay up properly on the Headband thingy and her Eyes had so much schmeared Mascara from crying under and around them that she looked more like a pathetic Raccoon than a Black Cat!   Awwww, Shit... now I knew Why the Young Prince had the utterance as he passed her on the Stairs!   I am fully convinced, since I KNOW her, that she'd tried to look as bedraggled and 'Ugly' in her own Eyes as she possibly could to heighten the Angst and Hysteria she now felt!




"I HATED these Ears anyway", she growls and throws them to the ground, "I wanted different ones!"   I seize the opportunity to inject some Positive Energy to battle the Neg Vibes radiating from her like toxic radioactive material that will threaten to contaminate us all and condemn the household!.  Well then, no Worries, the Hated Ears are Broken now so we'll just have to buy another pair of Ears you don't Hate, Problem Solved!




Of coarse we're several Weeks in now and Halloween Costume shit is pretty picked over so I'm Hopeful Cat Ears weren't the No. One Best Seller this Season and are now Sold Out?!  Thankfully they weren't, so I hastily picked another pair up before Work one day and she donned them only to discover they had been installed on the Headband Crooked!  WTF?!   SEE, she Wails, and is ready to go into Meltdown Mode again as they're sitting upon her Head and clearly whoever constructed them at the Cat Ear Factory was High as shit, Drunk or something!?!   I'm trying not to Laugh because damn, these Ears were fucked up and I hadn't even noticed while they were on the Cat Ear Cardboard Display they are attached to, so it's not so obvious as when a Child is wearing them!  *Uh Oh!*




Now this is a Kid who already was distraught enough that she turned 13 last Month, which meant that by mere days she'd excluded herself from the Free Pumpkin she usually has a Ritual of getting at The Desert Botanical Garden's Pumpkin Patch.   Their cut off is Age 12 and tho' I could have lied and said she's still 12 since she only JUST turned 13 and could still Pass for 12... she reminded me that would be a Lie Gramma!  And tho' she's completely Nuts and absolutely Pre-Demonic now that she's 13, she's still Honest as the day is long and not a Liar... which is a Good thing, so I don't discourage it nor encourage any deceptions so as not to be a bad influence.  *Winks*




After all, this is also the Child that Eyeballs my Speedometer if she's a Passenger in my vehicle and remind me if I'm going even one mile an hour over the Speed Limit to slow down and Obey the Law!  *LOL*   And right now this is the Child that now has not one, but two, fucked up pair of Cat Ears, so she's ready to go right over the Edge if I don't immediately run Damage Control!  I use Flattery, it's her Kryptonite, telling her how Madly Creative she is and can't she fix it so we don't have to buy Cat Ears No. 3?   Since clearly the Third World Country Cat Ear Makers aren't doing a very good job of it this Season? *Winks*




So she fixed the Ears and was all happy... UNTIL... now, because she's Being a Black Cat for Halloween, her BFF's have decided THEY want to be Cats WITH her!  *Uh Oh*   Princess T is very distinctive and she likes her distinctions, she doesn't want her Friends copying her and her now just being a Cat among Cats for Halloween!   So even tho' one of her Friends was going to be a Brown Cat and the other a Grey Cat... NOW she's definitely NOT going to be a Black Cat anymore!  *Le Sigh*  Even tho' we have a fortune in Black Cat gear sitting up in her room and no alternative Costume or funds for one!  *Bigger Sigh*




So we're off and running now, turned all kinds of upside down and sideways, on just WHAT she now wants to BE?!?   It changes like Daily anymore now... she wants to be a Clown... No... now a Wolf... she's driving me Crazy!   I'm not buying anymore Costumes so whatever she's going to Be will have to be Created on the Fly with whatever she has on hand.   Which she is Creative enough to do, so I just Wish we hadn't wasted Funds on Black Cat gear, ya know?  If a 99 Cent palette of Cheap Halloween Make-Up turns out to be all she REALLY Needed to Create a Character on the Fly, to go Trick-Or-Treating Halloween Night, I couldda saved a fortune!  *LOL* 




We won't know, we won't know 'til Halloween Night actually... and that's OK since it's so Late in the Game now that you couldn't really find anything but the dregs of Costumes nobody wants to Be at the Shops by now!   And sometimes she's even OK with that, because if nobody wants to Be something then mebbe nobody will be copying that Costume and she'll be the only one?  If she thinks she's the only one, then she's much more likely to stick with it as Being an Original and not a run of the mill Character that Trended that Season and you see on everyone.




But until she nails it down and becomes decisive about it, she'll get no more Help from me and she knows it.  She's burnt Gramma out on the Halloween Costume Ritual thing for this Year now... my Head is spinning with how many things she was Passionate about Being and then changed her Mind and ditched!  Thankfully I only spent Money on one, tho' an ample amount, so I'm still holding out Hope she might concede and just be a Black Cat!  I'll use the Spin of her Being the Leader of all Cats and have her Cat Posse go Trick-Or-Treating with her like one big Feral Litter that she's the Alpha Cat of!?  Whaddya think? *LOL*




She helped transform me into a Wolf, while she was Fixated on Wolves... for our Antique Mall's Halloween Celebration Sale at Work Saturday Night.  I had a Wolf Shirt and Wolf Ears and a latex Nose and Whiskers.    I had to ditch the Nose and Whiskers while driving TO Work, since the breathing Nostrils were tiny holes and the stench of Latex so strong I thought I might hyperventilate and pass out so I had to take 'em off coz I couldn't breathe and was feeling light Headed!  *LOL*   Besides, I think it was a Cat Nose anyway, we improvised when the Cat Nose she had, and she wouldn't wear becoz the Whiskers were Crooked, suddenly she thought could Pass for being my Wolf's Nose for Work?!  *LOL*  I don't know how the Kids wear those Headbands, my Head felt like it was in a Vice all Night!  Don't stretch it out with your Big Ole' Head she says to me!  WHAT, now I have a Big Ole' Head, say it ain't so!? *Winks*





We had a Good Halloween Celebration at the Mall tho', they were playing Cool Halloween Music and encouraged Staff and Customers to come in Costume, so a lot of Cool Costumes to behold.  We handed out enough Candy to keep everyone on a Sugar High while they Shopped and thus Sales were Strong!  *Smiles*  I brought Home enough Candy to keep my Friend and Family on a Sugar High for a few days too, mebbe I can get a lot of Work out of them all while they're on a Sugar Blaze Blast?!  *Ha ha ha*




I do know that when I got Home late after Work with the Candy, that The Man and my Friend were hiding fav Candy stashes everywhere, so that The Force wouldn't find some of the Good Stuff and eat it all while there was still some left!  *Smiles*  In actuality The Force and their Friends have less of a Sweet Tooth than the two Adults, so I'll have to make sure that The Man and my Friend don't go into a Sugar induced Coma on My Watch instead!?  *LOL*

  


With The Force and their endless procession of Young Friends coming and going from our Home, I'm much more likely to run out of Food than I am at running out of Halloween Candy actually!   Growing Teens and Twenty-Somethings are insatiable when it comes to eating, they descend upon the Kitchen like an Apocalyptic swarm of Locusts devouring everything in sight!   The usual thing you'll hear me saying lately is, "Who ate all the ______?"   *Smiles*




The Young Prince has also been running a virtual 'Face Off' worthy Special Effects Salon Upstairs in his MIL Suite, prepping all his Friends for their Halloween ensembles.  He's been dying their Hair, styling their Hair, doing their Make-Up, their Body Art, their Costumes.  I've had an endless procession of mostly Young Beautiful Women coming over to get their Make-Overs and he usually tests the Product they bought for him to use on himself first, so he's had a Rainbow of Hair Color lately!  *LMAO*   Then they come down and Model it for us, so it's like 'Project Runway' Downstairs afterwards, with him as the Featured Designer for this Runway Show!  *LOL* 




Some have spent the Night to get the full Make-Over Treatment, so The Man never knows how many Young Women... and Old Women since I've got a Friend living with us for the Holidays... will be hanging out in our Kitchen each Morning?!  It's a whole lotta Estrogren... and it's Football Season... and he'd rather hang out in his Gym Shorts and Undershirt, but now he can't... coz... well... he's gotta stay dressed with so many random Female House Guests, right?  *LOL*  The Girls don't Care, they're likely to barely notice he's there in his Media Chair in front of the Big Screen TV in the next Room.  And just yell out a "Oh, Hi Mister Man..." as they make themselves something to eat and go back Upstairs to get all Dolled Up by his Grandson!  *Bwahahahahaha!*





Where do all these People come from, Who are they he might ask me, and Why are they here?!  I'll remind him that 'til the Young Prince finds gainful Employment he's Working his Hustle doing Make-Overs and Commissioned Artwork, throwing Henna Parties and such to make a buck... and most of his Friends in exchange will also take him Shopping with them and Shower him with Gifts and take him out to eat, so it's Good being him right now.  *LOL*  I'm sure the Straight Guys Hate it that he's always having Beautiful Young Women lavishing him with Gifts and taking him out to Eat and constantly hanging out with him... they Wish it were them!  *Bwahahahaha!*




So long as he's Working his own Hustle he doesn't have to ask me for any Money so it Works for me, he don't come with any Checks so the less that's on our Dime the better, right?!  *Smiles*   Yeah, tho' the Adoption Subsidy folks buried me in Paperwork to fill out when he turned 18 and to substantiate his Lifetime Disability and Dependency Status being our responsibility to Support him, they denied extension of any Benefits he might be entitled to otherwise.  Except for Medical and Dental which they did extend 'til he's 21, Thanks be to God, since he really Needed that and I had no way to provide it for him since he doesn't Qualify to be on his Grandpa's Insurances either and has numerous pre-existing expensive conditions.  *Whew!*




Apparently just being in School, even if you're Failing and they're unable to actually Teach you due to your extent of Disability and their inability to Deal with it, is far more Important than you actually being Seriously Mentally Ill and it being a barrier to Employment and Independent Living... go figure?!   They'd rather he have remained and just Aged Out in the School Systems shuffling him around like a deck of defective Cards they don't want to Deal anymore... than just trying to get on with Life and have them be Supportive of THAT!  But since The System is so very broken, I jump thru the Administrative Hoops and Hope for the Best while preparing for the Worst... which equates to No Help from them and everything being on our Dime.   So if the Kid can make a buck for himself in some Creative yet not stable income way, I let him, it's good Practice.




He is doing a good job with the Young Women's Make-Overs, the Straight Male Make-Overs I think he's Gayed them up too much, to where they look like Ambercrombie and Fitch Models and leave the house looking way more Metro Sexual than when they came in!   Which might not have been the Look they were Going For exactly, tho' I dunno, it does attract the Pretty Girls after all!  *Bwahahahahahaha!*




We've never been particularly PC as a Family so we often go over the line with our Humor about all kinds of Topics that everyone else seems ultra sensitive and guarded about... since it's just Humor... so Calm Down... we'll go there!  *LOL*   And so his Straight Male Friends don't take offense at all when after their Make-Over I might respond to their request for a Critique by saying, "Well, your Friend still looks Handsome of coarse, but ya kinda Gayed him up some didn't ya?"   And they all Laugh, because the Guy might have originally walked thru the door just looking like a Fashion Critics worst Nightmare, but he won't go out looking that way!  *LMAO*




So anyway, another 'America's Next Top Model' just left the building this Morning, she looked Divine, Pretty Girl to begin with but he really did a great Job of her Make-Over and she's positively Stunning now!  His Hands are stained Purple, a Stunning Shade of Deep Violet actually since they had no Gloves for her Hair dye Make-Overs.  His Grandpa's clean but old 'Sweat Towels' also now have Deep Violet Tye Die effects all over them, along with the Aqua from the previous Make-Over and Midnight Blue and other Jewel Tones that are apparently Popular Shades for 2018.   So The Man now has Jerry Garcia Towels, and could Sell them at a Deadhead Concert, but at least it's not my Good Towels anymore, so at least we got that Right and established now!  *Whew!*




And we all just Keep On Truckin' as a Family thru the Holidays and it's been Fun and I lament Today that I'm going to Miss a Dia de los Muertos Celebration and Festival that The Son called this Morning and told me is going on in Mesa Today... coz I gotta Work and can't squeeze it in beforehand dammit!  Working the entire Weekend is kinda cramping my Style, but it makes more Bank for the Holiday spending for the slew of Grandkids we have, so ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right?!




And it's not as if I've been deprived of a Good Time lately, it's been a virtual whirlwind of Activities and Events, Festivals and Holiday Celebrations... so sometimes ya gotta Miss a few, it happens!   There's more coming up that I won't Miss and made space for on the Calendar so as not to Miss!   I'll be sad of coarse when it's all over and back to same-o same-o... tho' Transitioning from one Holiday into another is rather smooth from October thru December, so you don't go thru complete Withdrawal!  *Winks*




I've been Sharing some of the 'Strange Gardens' imagery from The Desert Botanical Gardens, it usually begins after Dark and they Light everything up for a better effect... but we cannot attend the Evening Festivities, so went during the Day.   Some of the Blossoms of the Cacti look Other-Worldly don't they, like Alien Flowers, such as this one which stinks like rotting meat so the Flies just flock to it!  With the repulsive unexpected Odor and the Stunning yet Weird Blossoms that are Huge and Odd it's Ideal for Halloween really! 




 The Cactus is in the background that it comes from and the Seed Pods look like Invasion Of The Body Snatcher Pods and are as huge as the Blossoms.  I think those make Great Halloween Props too dont'cha think?




A lot of Butterflies and things Blooming which is Why I like the Desert so much, we have Blossoms and abundance of Wildlife even during the Months that would be harsher elsewhere.  In fact, Autumn is my absolute Fav Season in the Desert, the Weather is Sublime and so Tourist Season is in high gear and those fleeing States where the Weather has turned crappy now show up so Sales are Stronger at our Mall.




You can do practically any Outdoor Activities during the Fall in the Desert.  I want to be Outdoors all of the time during this Season and we rarely just stay inside hunkered down, for us that would be during the height of Summer.




And I Hope you've enjoyed coming along Virtually to another Arizona Adventure with us?   Just three more days to Halloween... 




*******

Happy Halloween from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

1 comment:

  1. When patience was handed out, thankfully, you got the mother load.

    Those are great pumpkins!

    ReplyDelete

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