Thursday, August 9, 2018

Today He's A Man



So it's slightly before the stroke of Midnight as I'm creating this Post and my Grandson will be turning 18... so Today he's a Man.  Wow, it was a whirlwind this day before, as we wrapped up a lot of Medical and Dental appointments just in case they don't extend his Insurance thru the Adoption Courts.  I filled out the mountain of Adoption Caseworker annual review paperwork they sent me this week and provided the Medical Evidence of a Disability that will not be resolved and is a lifetime chronic diagnosis that becoming an Adult doesn't change one iota.   The stroke of Midnight and Manhood will not Magically change anything in the way of his point of Need and independent living is still a ways off... how long, we cannot really predict or know... we're working towards that eventual Goal of coarse!   When you are a Caregiver of a Disabled Child or Adult transitions of level of Care can be the most difficult phases to move thru.




I've move in and out of various levels of Care with various Loved Ones thruout the years, it never gets any easier in spite of the amount of experience one might have in the doing of it.   Children with Special Needs will usually be Adults with the same Special Needs.  Transitioning to Adulthood is always a Journey for anyone anyway, so any further complexities makes it just all the more... complicated!   Aging is a Journey that can and often does become more complex as Time just marches on.   Dealing with the complexities of Caring for and meeting the Needs of Aging Parents tested me to the max when my Parents were still alive.   When you are the Aging Caregiver it just makes you all the more aware of feeling particularly vulnerable and wondering, how long can I continue to do this?   What decisions should I make in case one day I can't anymore?





When every, or at least most, Loved Ones you have might be healthy and have no particular Disabilities or limits of daily function, you can just assume a lot of stuff will just work out Normally and you can step aside or step off.    You won't particularly have to be responsible for a lot of the Journey they embark upon because self sufficiency and self care is usually going to play out Normally and everything will be as it should be.  You can go on with your Life and everyone else goes on with theirs.   To me that is the Ideal, for everyone concerned.   Sometimes it is a Goal that can be attained and sometimes it's just NOT in our World of Caregiving... so you Keep It Real with yourself so that your expectations are semi-realistic and not completely Fantasy based.   I remain mostly Guardedly Optimistic and Goal driven anyway, just to have something we're aiming for.   Every time I fill out the paperwork for The System I am however reminded of the particular challenges... ones I don't really think about in everyday living, just so I can get thru the day mostly!




I had two Dental Visits this day... one for The Man at his gorgeous Dental Spa the VA has referred him to, since he's got special Dental challenges they were not equipped to attempt to solve... and one for The Young Prince at the Pediatric Dentist whose provided Services for The Force since they've had teeth!   At the former they said the fitting of the new dentures was going to be tricky due to severe atrophy and fragility of the gums... so we've got numerous more complicated visits to go.  It's a very Zen environment, I almost always fall asleep in the waiting room in the Spa-like atmosphere, so it's not a long Process I'll particularly dread as he's receiving Services.  *LOL*   I tried to pick up the Beauty of the Gold Flecks in this Granite counter top in the Bathroom of the place... it's Divine... along with the Vessel Sink... if I ever do a Bathroom Makeover... well... it could look like this!  *Winks*   It's one of those places you go to the Bathroom every time you visit even if you don't really have to go to the Bathroom!  *LMAO*




The Young Prince's Dental appt. was for a Tooth Cleaning and I was relieved to hear that usually his Insurance Plan covers Kiddos up thru their 21st Birthday... and even if it does not, they offer discounted rates for their long term Clients if you end up having to pay Cash out of pocket should you become among the Uninsured!  *Whew!*   Lately we've been discussing such things as Health, Mental Health and Dental Insurance with The Young Prince so that he can be a part of his own long term Care and Goals now that he's entered Adulthood.  It's a conversation I'm sure most Parents or Caregivers have when Adulthood rolls around and if said Child is capable of having those discussions with you.  We keep it 100% with all our Children and Grandchildren... so we've never avoided any discussion about Life and there are no Taboo topics or unanswered Questions.    We go Deep sometimes, Today was one of those Deep days since turning 18 has been on his Heart and Mind a lot... it's a Big Deal!




We discussed it over Lunch at Flavors of Louisiana while dining on Gator nuggets... and for me, Fried Green Tomatoes too while he had the Cajun Fries.   I Won the argument that I could have Gator on my self-imposed Nutritarian modified Diet since it is a Seafood/Fish.   The Young Prince argued it was not... Googled it and conceded when indeed, I was Right!  *Booyah!  LOL*  Yeah, sometimes I actually know what I'm talking about, imagine that when you're almost 18 and know everything, right?!  *Winks*   We like to banter with good natured insults, especially before a Birthday... your hair looks like a comb-over Today I says and is that a receding hairline... your hair looks more Grey Today he says and your Dreads are getting an Ombre effect... Touche'!  *Winks*   What can I say, we're both getting Older and amuse ourselves with Gallows Humor all of the time, it takes the Edge off Life as we know it!   He's ready for Dreads but wants to keep his Mohawk, so would be keeping the sides and back shaved since he has a tonnage of hair.   We found out where my Loctician, Ginger, has moved to but it's a matter of Saving Up now to get it done.  Even with only 1/4 of his hair getting Dreaded, it's still a lot of hair and thus hours.




Right now it's kinda low on the List of Priorities of moving into Adulthood for him... since funding his GED, his License and a Vehicle have higher priority.  He is excited that now he can actually look for a Job, since most places wouldn't even let you fill out an application if you were under 18 since they didn't hire Minors.   I remember when you could Work a Child, I had my first Job at 14... it didn't Kill nor particularly exploit me.  *Smiles*   Granted, The Young Prince has done various Volunteer Work since he was about 13, I always insisted that my Children and The Force do Volunteer Work since then they could build a healthy Work Ethic.   If you will Work with Excellence for Free then when you get Paid it's just a Bonus!   One of my pet peeves is lazy slacker people with a piss poor Work Ethic, they want a Job and Paycheck but they don't really wanna Work for it.  I've seen people put more effort into avoiding Work than it would just take to DO the Work for Real!  I have trouble Respecting a person or having a Positive opinion about their Character and Integrity or level of Responsibility and Maturity when they shirk Work... no matter how Old they are.




I do find that as I Age, I'm less Tolerant of B.S., I want to get a T-Shirt with this particular saying on it in fact, just so everyone knows where I stand.  *Winks*   The Young Prince said he's already at THAT Age where this would be an appropriate T-Shirt for him to wear too... so at least we're on the same Page about shit like that despite our Generational Gap!  *LOL*  We're both sardonic, perhaps that's why we get along so well and he's easy for me to hang out with even tho' he's so much Younger that you wouldn't think he'd still want to.   He wants me to go out with him on his Birthday... he could pick anyone he'd want to hang out with on this Special occasion so I feel Honored and flattered he asked me to.   I do have to see my Doc in the Morning for Diabetic follow-up which does cramp the Birthday Day Celebrations and delay them some.  I'm hopeful it's not more Bad news tho' I'm not terribly optimistic since I've felt like Hell lately.   My Diabetic readings have been almost Normal some days, those have been the worst days actually for how I've actually felt... he jokes that I'm just not used to Feeling Normal and so perhaps my Body just can't handle it?  He could be right?  *LMAO*







I just know that going to the Doc anymore is always grim and they seem to just be experimenting with the Meds and regimen, so I feel rather like a Lab Rat and I don't like it.   I don't like giving myself even more injections daily and a hand full of various pills to protect this major organ and that major organ so that I don't have a Stroke or a Heart Attack or have limbs falling off and to try to control the Diabetes and progression of the damned disease.   It's an insidious disease that has hereditary factors in my lineage apparently, so even if I do all the right shit they suggest, I'm not seeing very encouraging results and that's disheartening to say the least.   My Dad's take on Life rings in my ears lately, "Well, ya gotta die of something...", he was a very fatalistic and practical Man who never let Docs grim diagnosis or prognosis phase him one iota.  I Wish I could say that I don't let it bother me either, but sometimes it just does, just coz they say it out loud and the Words are powerful even if I refuse to Receive them in all their Negativity!    I am of the opinion that you're not Dead til God says so... and therefore I just Soldier on despite crappy obstacles health-wise.


This Image via: Pocket Full Of Heirlooms

Sometimes ya just gotta Let That Shit Go... and so we will after my Doc visit, regardless of how it goes... and Celebrate my Grandson's Birthday with Gusto if I Feel Well enough to Tomorrow?    Since Today hasn't been stellar and after everyone's appointments I crashed physically and had to take a freakin' five hour Nap... and I still have a lingering killer Headache, stomach upset and just overall feeling of crappiness which I Hope lifts by Morning since that's no Condition to be Celebratory in!   And in typical Gallow's Humor Style The Young Prince sternly warns me not to Drop Dead Tomorrow since that would ruin his Birthday Forever you know... and it's only 'Funny' in a Morbid way because The Man's Catastrophic Accident several Years ago was ON The Young Prince's Birthday, which almost ruined it Forever!   You guys keep trying to Drop Dead ON my damned Birthday he says as he wryly Smiles... and we laugh hysterically, because we're twisted and Insane like that!




*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

1 comment:

  1. Happy Birthday to your grandson. Life is so complicated, but love is simple.

    ReplyDelete

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