Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Vacillating Between Zen And Molten Lava Emotions

So, what do a Zen Painting and a Molten looking Art Pot have in common?  They accurately depict the range of Emotion I'm vacillating between!!!  And so I indulged in some Retail Therapy and bought them the other day to take the Edge off.  You know, since I had some painful Dental Work done... and before the Senior Air Conditioning Tech FINALLY shows up this Afternoon, after a Week of waiting our turn for Emergency Repairs at the height of the Scorching Season of Summer and having no Cool air Upstairs ... and before the Meet The 7th Grade Teachers also happens Tonight!   Hey, it's better than drinking, I polished off the lone Pina Colada I had chillin' and being drunk would solve nothing anyway, it would make me way too feisty, testy and aggressive I suspect. *Winks*   We've been without Air Conditioning Upstairs for almost a full Week so the G-Kid Force have been unable to sleep Upstairs in their Bedrooms or spend their coveted Private Time in their Personal Spaces.   They have tried to endure brief periods up there, but it's been in excess of 116 degrees outside all Week and so I have to insist they come back down and Cool off.  Even tho' it makes things tense and real cozy Downstairs with all the Angst and disruption of Routines going on in the Sharing Space Downstairs thingy!    With The Man and each Child having Mood Regulation Issues and being Territorial about their Space, due to their respective Disabilities, it's been quite the Adventure having all of their Routines disrupted lemme tell ya!   Princess T is edgy and having Anxiety about School starting since she just wanted me to know there is only one Male 7th Grade Teacher whose likely not to be a 'problem' for her starting the 7th Grade and she doesn't Like the rest... splendid!  *Le Sigh*  When you have a Special Needs Child who requires additional Services and is on an extensive IEP in Public School, doesn't matter how much they Love School and try real hard, they will often be resented becoz they require more Work and Services than the average Student.  Kids pick up on that shit real fast, they almost develop an Instinct about who really Cares and whose just acting like they do and putting on a Show for the Parent or Caseworker Meetings.  Because it is the Law and blatant discrimination would be a liability if they showed they won't abide by the IEP and discriminating due to your Kid's Disability, so a lot fake it in front of you, but not necessarily in front of the Kiddo when no other Adults aren't watching.   I've also had Parents of Healthy Kids pontificate to me how it's a detriment to the "Regular" or "Normal" Kids to even have our Kiddos in THEIR Schools... we should have Schools for Kids like THEM... separate and definitely not equal since our Kids are a drain on Society and not worth the Investment... you know, Segregation.  Kinda takes ya back to Darker Archaic times doesn't it, where it was OK to Segregate Kids due to Race or Disability if other Parents didn't want 'exposure' to anyone 'different' and not just like them and therefore 'inferior' and marginalized or dehumanized.  Some Educators barely mask their indifference or resentment too, so you always know you better be your Special Needs Child's staunchest Advocate, they're not gonna have a 'Village' behind them and in their corner... Kids figure that out lightening fast too if they're even slightly High Functional enough to be Aware.  She's Aware, so, tho' she's excited about School and the Social aspect, since she's Popular and considered Pretty enough to be 'accepted' by most of her Peers, she knows that as a Student, she's waaaaaaaaay behind her peers Academically and considered Special Ed and very 'different'.   She's gone so far as to say 'Stupid'... and that grieves me no end that she's somehow getting input from somewhere to come to that conclusion and Labeling of herself, coz she sure ain't hearing it here at Home!  I know she's Intelligent, but she is definitely 'Academically Challenged', no doubt about that fact... she can barely read or write and it's gonna be 7th Grade.  When she still asks me if a letter is a p,b or d I know we're going to have calls from this year's Teachers and even more 'Testing' to find out what is 'Wrong' with her.   So far nobody can tell me so how can we fix it or properly support it when we don't even know what 'it' is?  I dread each School year with having a Special Needs Student situation... it rarely goes Well... I mos def am not the Parent/Guardian they Like to see coming... good thing the Feeling is Mutual and I loathe it all as much as they clearly do.   At least The Young Prince is finished, tho' still doesn't have any diploma equivalency, so not really finished... but we'll sort that all out in his Adulthood.  He would have Aged Out of The System anyway even if they had not kept dumping him off The System and into Alternatives to the Alternative, because each Alternative didn't wanna be bothered and couldn't Cope... as if he was that much of a Problem Child, which he wasn't... but, just sayin'.   Mental Illness scares people... more than Criminal Behavior does, which is why they were more willing to keep Delinquent Kids with severe Behavioral Issues in their Alternative Schools than any SMI Child who exhibited no significant Behavioral negs, but they failed to support in a way that showed Academic Success.   Well, he always aced Tests and got A's on those, but it wasn't enough for Passing Grades and Credits... go figure... he didn't comply with the limiting box they wanted to squeeze his ass into and they said he asked too many questions!   Well, I suppose that would be intimidating to any Adult who perhaps didn't have any of the answers... or felt a Child with a profound Disability actually had a higher IQ than they did... since 148 is pretty high I'm told.   I actually had a School Psychologist once tell me and a CPS Caseworker attending one of his IEP Meetings with us, that since he's a Genius they expected him to Act more Functional, even tho' this guy was fully aware of the Serious Mental Illness diagnosis!   Our Caseworker reported him and we pulled him out of that School immediately.  That's just the kind of ignorant shit you often Deal with... so I HATE those Meetings... it's all I can do not to come across the table sometimes and snatch someone bald headed and catch some Charges!   Hey, what can I say, you can take the Gal out of the Hood... but ya can't take the Hood outta the Gal!   Mess with one of my Babies and it's totally ON, I'll erupt like Madame Pele!  *Winks*


Hoping the Zen prevails and keeps Molten Lava at bay... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Such an angst time, knowing that it will be a battle for 9 months, again. Good luck to you all.

    1. Well, on a Positive Note the Air Conditioning guy is here to hopefully fix the faulty unit and get our Upstairs cooled off enough The Force can re-occupy their personal spaces! I know, Dealing with the 9 Months of School is worse than Dealing with a full term Pregnancy... ha ha ha.

  2. Praying for calm for you and yours!


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl