Monday, June 25, 2018

When You Can't Stay Away... Or Get Over Just Being Generally Irritated

So... even tho' I had picked up an extra Saturday Night Shift at Work, I couldn't stay away from a return visit to the Sweet Salvage 'Summer Lovin' Event and squeezed it in Saturday Morning before my Shift!   Because I was kinda hoping a certain Sea Glass Bottle Vase hadn't Sold... AS IF, RIGHT??!!!   One that I had picked up and almost bought on Thursday, opening day, waffled on, put back down and regret not purchasing and you know how that eats at you?!  *Le Sigh*  Princess T went along, not because she particularly digs hanging out with Gramma anymore, but if she's totally bored and doesn't have better options to hang out with almost anyone else, well... you know how it is when you're a Tween's default form of social entertainment!  *LOL*  Her countenance speaks volumes of how tolerant she wasn't of hanging out with me, in spite of utter boredom being the only reason she opted to be in tow and have to deal with my insistence on at least one pix!  *Bwahahahaha!*

In fact, I think she complained the whole time and about everything and anything, to where I was like... "And WHY are you even here?!"  *Smiles, she knew I was joking and in spite of herself cracked a sarcastic Smile!*  Because honestly, I think it is a Tween's Job to be in Angst about every aspect of Life as we know it from about age 10-12... and full blown Teen Angst then being perfected by about age 13-17!   Everything is lame, unfair, boring, persecution, an embarrassment to them if you are involved, there is lots of eye rolling and heavy sighs no matter what you say or do... I think it's hilarious.  By the time you're a Gramma raising one, you don't take any of it seriously nor personally anymore and I just like to mess with them on purpose to amuse myself actually! *Winks*   Her Friends are downright afraid to have Angst and Tween Attitude in front of me lest they become the target of my amusement... but she and I still have The Exchange as I like to call it!  *Ha ha ha*   So she wasn't the least bit Sorry for me that my coveted Bottle I'd come all the way back for had Sold... Touche'.

Not even an ounce of Pity extended that The Backup Bottle had also Sold... REALLY???!!!   By now I was frantically scouring the Vignettes to see if ANY Sea Glass Bottle Vases remained?   So you can only imagine how well that went over when I had her searching and searching AGAIN for bottles that just weren't there anymore and had all apparently been Sold!  *Bwahahahaha!*   By now she's hoping any damned bottle that remotely resembles the Ones That Got Away remain so that Gramma will Calm down and quit a futile search for something that just isn't even there anymore to actually find and buy?!?   So... what do they look like she's asking in desperation and total exasperation?   You know, so that she even knows what the Hell we're frantically searching for now, becoz she knows how tenacious and obsessive I can actually be when I'm on a 'Mission', even if it is Mission Impossible!?!?!??!   *LOL*

Well, like THIS one I says when I finally find the sole remaining one... only it's the wrong shape entirely and not as Bottle like on the top... well, at all... it looks like just a Vase and not a Bottle at all, but it IS Sea Glass looking!   I'm holding it in my hand but insisting that MY Bottle, the one I'm seeking, is Rounder, more Bottle like and smaller.   Well... THAT one isn't here anymore, she says with finality that made me realize we're not going to be able to pull said Bottle out of our asses or anything, since clearly it's GONE!   Okay, well... there was this backup Bottle with a slender neck and fat bottom... she rolls her Eyeballs dramatically, since... well... that one isn't gonna be pulled out of a Magician's Hat or anyone's asses either, clearly... it's GONE too!   So... I'm looking at the one in my Hand, knowing it's the only one left and yet Waffling becoz it was neither of the ones I really wanted.  And she notices and says firmly... it's the ONLY one left Gramma and if you put it down and then somebody else buys it I'm gonna Kill myself because I won't be able to stand hearing you be upset Forever that you didn't get THAT one either!   Well, that might not have been her exact words, but you get the drift and she was right, I would have been insufferable and sent her right over the edge of Sanity, and so I bought it!  *Smiles*

But if I manage to find a more Bottle like Sea Glass Bottle Vase it will certainly replace this one because I'm just not feelin' it as much as I WANT to... and yet CAN'T... so there... I'm petulant like that and want what I want!   But, if I never find any more Sea Glass looking Bottle Vases in this Lifetime I'll probably be Glad she talked me into getting this one so as not to have any... so Settling will have to do for now!  *Winks*   The Let Down was pretty extreme that every one I really liked was now somebody else's... yet it was my own fault... she who hesitates Loses and I know this.  Non-Buyers remorse is way worse than Buyer's remorse in my opinion coz if I regret a Purchase I just flip it and upgrade later.  But when you find the Perfect one and DON'T buy it, well, you kick yourself in the ass about it for a while... or Forever... depends on how much regret you had about walking away and letting that one get away?!  *Smiles*

And when you Go Back for something specific and come up empty handed, well, it just kinda Sucks doesn't it?  *Le Sigh*   Chance gone... and so it goes, so I hadda Get Over The Bottles Getting Away and Settle for the one I managed to get in place of them.   By now I realized if I came away Bottle-Less then I'd just be stewing about it way too long, which is ridiculous.   And in reality it isn't even about Bottles, lately I've just been IRRITATED as Hell and I think it's just the FUBAR state of the World at large that is irking the shit out of me lately.  And so I'm deflecting that irritation onto other lesser, really unimportant, shit that doesn't actually matter.   What does matter is the National divisiveness and lack of Unity, the incessant blaming by all sides ad nauseum until I can't stand to hear it anymore from any side!  The important Issues with no Real Solutions and the suffering and collateral damage it causes to Human Beings and which will need a shitload of money thrown at them indefinitely anyway, even tho' they will remain unsolved.   At a Cost none of us in Society can really afford, yet nobody wants to address that critical fact.  Who all can or will foot the bill for all or any of it... and at what Cost and for how long and I don't just mean monetarily either, it's way deeper than that!   So it's all a bit TOO MUCH and has rather left me feeling quite overwhelmed by it all... by the heavy weight of Negativity, futility and utter despair of it all.

There are times I Wonder if Society, and not just ours in America, are on the verge of collapse?   I've been a hopeless Optimist almost all of my Life, but it seems to me that things around the Globe have reached Critical Mass and the Humanity towards one another is becoming conspicuous by it's very absence and the intolerance is sadly abounding!  Everyone wants immediate Solutions of coarse, and who wouldn't... and yet, some Problems are pretty Epic and there is no easy peasy Solution, if there is even a Solution at all in actuality?   Accepting that possible Reality can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if you're a Solution Oriented kind of individual, which I tend to be... No Solution being Possible or probable, well, it scares the shit out of me!   And some are of the ilk they are typically part of the Problem rather than the part of any Solution, so expect everyone else to just Solve it and complain when 'they' don't... whoever 'they' are, certainly NOT THEM since 'they' implies someone other than oneself!  Not realizing that if you're not part of the Solution, you by default become part of the Problem, a vicious cycle.  And Problematic People generally wanna blame everyone but themselves actually.  I certainly Wish I had Solutions for every major Social Problem, but sadly I don't... and I actually don't feel qualified to Solve a lot of the more complex Issues either, so I rely upon greater Minds than I to Hopefully formulate some viable Ideas and at least try.

Sometimes it is hard to accurately discern whose trying and whose not... what is in the Hearts and Minds of other people, even if we think and presume we 'know'... since we could be wrong and not 'know' for sure... or at all?    So I don't like to be so arrogant as to stand in judgment of anyone tasked with Solving anything Epic that I couldn't Solve myself.  I think the World's Governments, all of them, are tasked with some heavy shit of late... and I, like everyone else apparently, feels some kind of way about how they're going about it... right, wrong or indifferent.  And some I like and some I loathe... but if any of them can get the Job done, well, shit, DO IT!  But I do know that I wouldn't want to be the one tasked with coming up with the complex Solutions to the World's current Epic Problems, because I am not remotely qualified to and I have absolutely no delusions about that FACT.   Now, if you Believe you ARE qualified, perhaps throwing your hat in the ring and stepping up and helping Solve it all might be something you don't want to delay, because it's all pretty fucked up right now... so... just sayin'.   IF you are the one with all the answers, you should be in the Ring and have some serious skin in that game because Humanity NEEDS it... desperately... we don't NEED any more Armchair Quarterbacks, there's an overload of them and their noise is deafening!

And all that Noise has just got me Irritated like I've never quite been so Irritated before.   After that last crazy Election and the aftermath, which has been quite frankly, ridiculous... and embarrassing... and divisive beyond belief... and spiraled into almost a Hatfield and McCoys kinda feud going on between Political Parties and each's Supporters and staunch Defenders of either side... I feel like I'm ringside watching 'em go at it relentlessly, round after round.   I don't think there can be any 'Winners' when there is no Unity, no common ground and certainly no Shared Vision... there can only be Division when that is the Mindset of divided Vision.    I know for me, a Moderate person, extremes just disturb me because there is little, if any, balance in an extreme.   Moderation is just preferable to me and so I Moderate things, or try to.   But I think there are fewer of us who are Moderate, I definitely think we're a minority lately... just an observation.  *LOL*   Seriously... once I realize I'm Dealing with anyone not a Moderate personality, I just listen... why speak... extremism tends to like to be heard and often will react with speaking louder and more defensively to drown out and extinguish other voices anyway.   So my distraction to all the Drama going on has been some Retail Therapy, it's been rather my Coping mechanism I guess.  My Friend Kenny got in some Vintage Persian Rugs from an Estate Sale and gave me a good Deal on one... they were still warm from storage and transport!

So many to choose from but I had been drawn to this deep Red Tribal from Iran and so didn't bother to unfold any of the others.   It soothes me to behold any piece of incredible Art... Hand Woven Rugs that may have taken the Artisan years to Create I have deep Appreciation for.   Right now the Middle East is a Hot Mess, probably moreso than the rest of this World in upheaval of various sorts.  And yet, there are the Talented Rug Weavers of those Regions, still probably feeling the Need to Create these Masterpieces... even when they could no longer be exported and Enjoyed by the rest of the World due to embargos and sanctions.   There is something very Inspirational about that to me, that the Artist still produced Art regardless of the Political Arena and the World's Politics being hashed out relentlessly among Countries, while Solutions might have been unresolved.   I'd like to be one of those people who, in spite of what a Hot Mess everything around us is, or circumstance, can still find the Light of Purpose and pursue it.   To somehow continue to make this World a bit more Beautiful and Positive in whatever ways I am personally able.  To not get so caught up in the Drama... the disharmony... the discord... the negativity... that it contaminates my Essence and Desire to be more Positive, Peaceful, Harmonious and Loving, even if I become quite Irritated by it all since the Negativity is repelling and causes a visceral reaction.

I Pray for a Restoration of Order... of Compassion for our fellow Human Beings... of Support for anyone and everyone trying to desperately find Solutions to our most difficult Social Problems... for Mercy and Grace, because we desperately Need both, ALL of us!   I am Thankful for the ability to have this modest platform to express myself and what is laying Heavy upon my Heart and my Mind... these are troubling and uncertain times and I think it does affect us all.


Blessings, Love and Peace from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. I hear this type of sentiment a lot coming from the US these days. I'm so sorry you are feeling irritated after having such a nice zen time. Is that all gone then? I was feeling prompted to try your diet if it could calm me down!
    Looove your rug. That would be my dream to own one of these pieces of art. Give it a stroke for me.
    And tell Princess T she is amazing to put up with your teasing ;-)
    xo Jazzy Jack

    1. Yes Jack, so many feel a disruption in the Unity of our Country of late and it's very unsettling. I did get my Zen back, but find that overall irritation is heightened while things Politically are causing social divisiveness to such an extreme level. I gave The Rug a stroke for you *winks*... I couldn't have afford it if my dear Friend had not given me such an incredible deal on it to make it within budget. The G-Kid Force are Amazing to put up with me, that is a fact! *Winks*

  2. When I talk myself out of buying something, I tell myself that I will remember the price and if it comes around again at a better one, I'll buy it. Of course I always forget the price and then wish I'd bought what I was considering!

    As for current events, I try to stay informed but not form too strong an opinion. I sat next to a very opinionated person at my last job and it's so nice to be away from that sort of conflict. If I just remained quiet or tried to find common ground in order to not get into a debate, he took that to mean I agreed with him. It was maddening! I can't wait for the next two years to pass but an dreading another presidential election -- the run-up should start soon. Ugh!

    1. You and are are alike in how we prefer to avoid conflict with very opinionated people, mostly because conflict is such negative energy that it pollutes the atmosphere and causes tensions I don't want or need. I too keep informed, which I think is critical, but I rarely discuss my sentiments because debating opinions usually isn't productive when talking about potentially controversial topics like Politics or Religion, people are usually passionate about their stance and seem to need to defend it or get overly emotional about it. I dread elections due to what it seems to stir up in the populace, which hasn't been very positive at all in recent years and Lord knows we don't need MORE strife and hostilities on the rise! It has certainly been an exhausting Presidency tho' so I'm glad there could be more Calm and less grandstanding in the future... let us hope so anyway?

    2. I meant you and I... sorry, just got up and fingers are apparently still snoozing! LOL

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl