Monday, May 14, 2018

The Evaluation And My Sex Ed Refresher




At the last Emergency IEP Meeting at the School for Princess T that we had, the one to restore and re-qualify her for the Special Ed and Resource Services to bring the Grades back up again... you know, after they took Services away when she got some A's on her Report Card... and then went back to all F's because Mainstreaming a Child with Special Needs isn't all that cut and dried... her Administrators, Teachers and Caseworkers had told me I should get her evaluated for Attention Deficit.   Now, it's not as if I didn't already know this was coming, with having it myself and having raised some Kids with it already, I know the Signs of Attention Deficits, among other things.  It's just that when you're raising a Special Needs Kiddo you just don't want one more Label affixed that has the word Deficit in it and will require a Treatment Plan and all the difficult decisions that go along with that baggage!




However, for the IEP to accommodate any Deficits or Disabilities that will affect Learning or Behavior and ability to focus well enough to be functional and get thru School, it has to be formally Evaluated and then Diagnosed by a Doctor.   I know the Drill... this ain't my first Rodeo.   I sighed deeply and said Yes, it was clearly Time to do The Evaluation, since now it was interfering to the point of causing considerable hardship and heightened Anxiety for her.  Not to be able to perform at a 6th Grade Level and be taught what she needs to know at this stage of development and academia, was causing a lot of stress, a lot of distress and self-esteem issues.  The Kiddo already has enough Issues piled up, so if we can eliminate or reduce just one, it's not all bad.   The Initial stage of The Evaluation was to be this Afternoon... but first, this Morning, I had to attend the Sex Ed Parental Meeting for 6th Graders, to go over what will be taught in the Classes if we consent and the Alternative Classes if Parents don't consent.   Yeah, it was gonna be one of THOSE days... Splendid!   




I knew a lot of Grandparents raising their Grands would not be in attendance and everyone in the room would likely be Young enough to be my own Kids!  *Smiles*  But I was also curious about what hang-ups about sexuality this Community... or that Generation... might have... it might be a hoot??!  *Winks*  I'd already signed Princess T's consent form so she was going and I Trusted whatever Scientifically and physiologically they'd be Teaching and she should know, they have good Teachers there... then let me fill in any blanks and do my part as a Parent addressing the inevitable of them growing up and having that open dialogue, as is our Custom.  Out of the entire 6th Grade three whole Parents showed up for the Meeting, including me it was four, clearly out here in affluent Subdivision Hell the Yuppies and Fundie Communities have this totally covered... which should be interesting in a few years if they don't really!?!   And from the Intel my Grands are telling me about many of their peers... they don't... REALLY! 




The Teachers informed us that less than 49% had already been Approved to attend the Classes and the rest would take an Alternative Class that leaves out anything sexual, Scientific or physiological in nature.   Now that should be an interesting Alternative, but they'll try to walk that tightrope of vaguely Informing but respecting Family boundaries, ways and comfort levels of the topic by leaving a lot of shit out.   But, not my Monkeys, not my Circus, those Families will have to run their own damage control behind their own Offspring, I'm concentrating on keeping mine as Informed as Humanly possible.  So we hopefully don't and won't have a shitload of damage control to run until they are grown ass Adults dealing with their own shit.  Especially with the statistics that clearly show abstinence just isn't happening during puberty no matter what Adults may be forbidding until Adulthood or what the Family Values or Moral Compass may or may not be!  And ignorance certainly is NOT bliss when it comes to risks that significantly can alter lives or end them!  Not to mention, I'm not keen on raising Great-Grandkids too... I'm kinda Over raising Kids after two Generations of it!  *LOL*





Mine already has no problem attending her Sex Ed Class and then discussing that topic with her Grandpa and I candidly and anytime she needs accurate information about Growing Up, no topic is taboo or skirted.   It's not a fail safe of coarse, both of our Daughters were Teen Parents and no Family can predict accurately how Life will just play out... just keep on living... shit happens, even in the best of Families!  But, having lived in The Hood for many Years, both of The Force knew enough very Young Teens who were already Parents way too early, so they have few delusions.  In spite of being Special Needs Kiddos they've been Old Souls about Life Issues and trying to avoid bad outcomes if possible.  We discuss the hard stuff early, mebbe earlier than most Families and certainly without inhibitions about covering the whole gamut without embarrassment or shame.  You need to, it's a tough job but you have to do it, everyone goes thru puberty and everyone makes mistakes in Life, so put those two facts together and a lot can happen!




So my peeps, now that I've had my Sex Ed Refresher for the Over Sixty Club on a Sixth Grade Level, if you have any Questions, feel free to ask!  *Bwahahaha!*  Actually nothing has changed physiologically speaking, nor Scientifically speaking and Humans are still having Sex and all the Natural Urges puberty stirs... that about covers it.   The one thing the other Moms and I did discuss was that we thought Modern Children are Maturing prematurely and more of them are becoming Early Bloomers.  Perhaps its better Diet, growth Hormones added to our foods, shit, who knows... I just know that the average Grade School Kid now often already looks like a grown ass Adult and that is scary as Hell since they are NOT!   I have more than half my Grandkids who are already grown and have become Young Adults... but it scares me shitless when I see the ones still aged 10-16 who look as Mature as their Adult Siblings and Cousins!   Princess T who is only 12, and her slightly Younger Sister in Mexico who is only 11, both look much older and not like Kids so much anymore.  It scares their Big Brother, Uncle and Grandpa half to death!




I know when I got this Image of Princess T's slightly younger 11 year old Sister, who lives in Mexico, playing Model and Sharing it with her Gramma Dawn, I fairly had a slight mini Heart Attack myself!   The Man and her Big Brother, The Young Prince, said they're just relieved we're not raising that one too, coz they'd be spread too thin offering Protection from Admirers for her and Princess T!  *LOL*   Her Dad has his work cut out for him and he has 3 more younger ones just like her at Home... better him than us... tall order for any Dad raising Daughters... I'll Pray for him!  *Smiles*  Why, it was only Yesterday it seems that she looked like the little Girl she actually is... but she's an Early Bloomer, like her Older 12 year old Sister we're raising and damn... blossoming, blooming fully and you just can't stop Nature or puberty... you just have to roll with it!   And it's not as if the opposite sex will not notice the changes... they noticed even before the Girls stopped thinking Boys were gross and had cooties!  *LOL*  Well, actually, Princess T still isn't that smitten with Boys, Thank God... she finds most of them to be totally annoying... hold that thought... for perhaps about another six years will ya?!?  *LMAO*




So, back to original Topic now... The Evaluation... it went smoothly and we had a very good Doctor who we really liked who was doing it.   After his Initial Questionnaire he looked at me and said, Yeah, Houston, we have a Problem... but we'll have to go thru the entire Process and then come up with a Game Plan.  He saw my expression and added... and don't worry, things have improved a lot and we no longer just default to Meds, even if Teachers are screaming for it, it's more a last resort now!   *Whew!*   I had told him the Family History with two of our Adult Children with formal diagnosis... and the physical damage Meds have done to her Older Brother.  Who mos def needed them and had to have them to stabilize and try to Manage Serious Mental Health and extreme ADHD behaviors since Age 7, but whose health was wrecked by Age 15 after years of being Medicated, so we had to discontinue ALL Meds to save his very Life!   Now he's trying to Manage his conditions au natural... which is hairy as Hell and basically unstable! 





We were sent Home with Homework for me to fill out and which ever of her Teachers we felt she had the most trouble in Class with to fill out the other forms.  I told the Doc that would be ALL of them {smiles}... but we'll let the School decide which Teacher loses and has to fill out the paperwork?!  *Winks*  I liked that he's inclusive of Princess T being a vital part of her own Game Plan and giving her Understanding about what's going on and Why.  She Received it well, she knows she has a Problem, she has Awareness and she's intelligent enough to realize she needs Solutions.   She in fact was the one who kept urging me to ask Why she can't focus, pay attention or stay on task, because it's really bothersome and frustrating to her.   We know she gets distracted easily and continuously... we also know there have been some Behavioral Health concerns along the way since people in general annoy her and she realizes it.  Sometimes she doesn't mind being Social and Popular, other times she just wants people to not engage with her at all and doesn't want any around her.  That is Beast Princess Mode, it's been that way a long time, now magnified by puberty's onset.




So I immediately did my Homework and filled out my Questionnaire, I should be a damned Expert at filling out these Evaluation Forms by now after literally Decades of doing it for one Child or another with 'Issues'.   I always Hope a Child will bypass all that shit and just be 'Normal'... which I know is subjective and highly overrated a term, but you know... just sayin'.   It would be nice, I think, to raise a Child without Disabilities for a change... perhaps it's easier, I couldn't tell ya.  I have babysat allegedly 'Normal' Kiddos... and frankly, it wasn't even like having a Child around... it was so laid back and low maintenance that I was suspicious!   I kept checking on them constantly to make sure everything was alright... because they were so quiet, so calm, not moody, so compliant, so... Okay... NORMAL!  *LOL*   Nobody got on the Crazy Train, nobody had Mood regulation Issues, I didn't have to scrape them off the ceiling, there weren't so many Dietary restrictions you were feeding them foods that cost five times as much as usual, there wasn't this huge Med regimen to follow, they actually slept and stayed asleep... you know, shit like THAT!  You raisers of 'Normal' Children, you have it so easy!  *Winks*





Mine have inherited our Family Dark Humor tho' and they recognize their differences from most of their peers... unless of coarse those peers have Special Needs and Disabilities too and then they're more like them usually.   So we have some inappropriate jokes about it all, levity can bring you from the brink of Insanity sometimes to make light of particular challenges and keep it all in perspective so you don't magnify shit to the point of being completely overwhelmed or hopeless.   It's not as if we think we're the Ozzie and Harriet cast... more like Ozzy and Sharon cast!  *Winks*   The Young Prince has the best Dark Humor perspective on Families... he said EVERY Family has their level of dysfunction, some just clean up real well in Public and can 'pass' for functional... but behind closed doors, who the Hell knows how screwed up they really are?  *LOL* 

  


And between all the Meetings and Doc Evaluation that is a part of our 'Normal' days and routines... I actually got to go in and re-style one side of my Showroom at the Antique Mall!   A Vendor Friend was giving away some nice tall Black and Dark Brown vertical Bookshelves and a small Grey Corner Bookshelf, so I swapped out my low horizontal Bookshelves for them and brought the low ones Home for the Meditation Room makeover.  I had been wanting to do that for a long time but didn't have replacement Shelving for my Smalls at the Mall, so this was just the ideal Solution and cost me nothing!!!   So at least against one Wall now the Showroom looks 'New' and remodeled.   And I schlepped the trio of low Black Bookshelves Upstairs, but haven't placed them yet since the Meditation Room needs Painting first.   I've finally decided firmly that one Wall will be Chalkboard Black and then an adjoining Wall will have Shiplap horizontal Salvage Wood.  Then the remaining two Walls will be a pleasing Grey of some shade.  I have decided against my Kabuki Red Walls, not that I don't want or like them with the Black, since my Art Studio Cottage at the Historic Home ROCKED with that Gothic combination... but for resale eventually, not Generic enough to appeal to masses of New Buyers.




And I'm just at that Season of Life now where less Future Work and re-dos are more Appealing to me... so just doing it the Easy and Practical Route the first time makes more sense in the long haul!   I have Eclectic Tastes that I know don't Appeal to many... but to add maximum Investment Value and Less Work to this Home, I'm going Safe and more Status Quo on some Remodeling decisions.   I know, I'm stifling the Rebel and Free Spirit in me somewhat, but it's compromises I can easily Live with because I do LIKE some Status Quo shit, I ain't gonna lie, some of it grows on me after enough exposure to it.  *LOL*  The Salvage Wood Wall thing is a Look I really dig in fact... and I'm eager to decide upon what kind of Salvage Reclaimed Lumber I want to use?!?





After scouring the Internet Imagery I feel either one of the above two would Appeal to me, tho' the lower one would be more soothing for a Meditation Space and go well with the Grey on the other Walls... so I doubt I'd go with the more Colorful stimulating one in that Space anyway... tho' it's a definite possibility for another Room another time... *Smiles*   And of coarse the installation is something I'll probably do myself unless installation doesn't cost a Kidney or something?  *Winks*   Lord knows this Month alone has come with enough crippling costs that were unexpected or emergency related that it's tapped me out for May completely already!!! 




Tho' on Mother's Day I did pick up this very heavy ornate metal Vintage Incense Burner for a mere five bucks at our Antique Mall.   Artistically it has a lot going on with it's stylization and I just fell in Love with it and hadda have it... and at that price I just couldn't resist bringing it Home like a Prize Trophy!   I like to burn Incense and finding Burners that are Decorative is just a Plus.




With what is going on with Princess T... and how so many Females in our Family just are... I found this Gem to be particularly Amusing and can definitely relate to it on a personal level too, as being entirely how the thought process often goes!  *Winks*




And I'll end this Post with some Positive Shares that The Daughter-In-Law and The Son took on Mother's Day and just warmed my Proud Mother's Heart.   Parenting can be rough, Parenting a Special Needs Child can be even rougher and often disheartening and scary as to what the Future might hold... but The Son is powerful Testimony of a High Maintenance difficult Special Needs Child turning into a Fine Man.  Despite all the grim prognosis and diagnosis I was given by the Medical Community and Educators when he was growing up and Labeled with significant Disabilities, he has overcome and been tenacious about Living fully.  Yes, it just made Life more challenging, but no less Full and Promising... Life is after all what we make it... and a diagnosis of any kind, is not ALL that you ARE... so do not Define yourself, or others, by it alone my Friends!




*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

2 comments:

  1. We are wondering whether to head towards a formal autism diagnosis for my youngest given my diagnosis. He feels that is where he fits along with his OCD. It has actually freed him up to go through the symptoms and identify. He said it is nice not to have something he is trying to fix like OCD...it just is the way he was born.
    I hope Princess T can find some understanding teachers now she has this new insight.
    I had to laugh about the sex ed! So many prudes or blind parents around.
    My kids are lucky to have any interactions with anyone, let alone relationships!
    But they are very well informed!
    xo Jazzy Jack

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    1. I think formal diagnosis at least give one a foundation to build upon when there are issues that need modified ways of learning, living, etc. I agree so many prudes and blind Parents still abound to where lack of being informed could be a detriment to the youngsters. I am all for any Family instilling their values and morals in their offspring, but that does not make one immune to the World and just how it is, so being informed promotes safe living so that they are not naive to the point of being particularly vulnerable and able to be exploited.

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

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