Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Reflections



A Lifelong Friend and I had a conversation about what has become more important to us now that we're in our Golden Years.   We both decided it's not so much about whatever we own, property included, but more about who we're spending time with and around now.   The preferred Lifestyle and Community is now taking precedence over how nice a Home we own or what we're accumulating in the way of possessions. 




You reach a certain pinnacle where you have probably achieved all of those things you intended to for whatever measure of Success you Hoped to attain in Careers and attainment of The Stuff of Life, you reached the top and got The View and satisfaction from it.  Then at a certain Season of Life the shift comes where okay, crossed all that off The List, now you have a totally different List, The Bucket List.   The Bucket List rarely has any similarities to the Lists you had in Youth or Midlife.  Mine almost certainly looks like Lists made by totally different people... and really, it kinda is.




With every Season of Life there is a metamorphosis going on and stages in your own development and maturity that just happen and you are indeed different.  Your outlook has usually refined to where priorities have definitely shifted in what you want and what you Hope now to achieve in the Final Seasons of the Aging Process.   Contentment comes from different Sources now and evaluating that and deciding what to shed, to give up, becomes your new focus and goal.  Every Senior I know is shedding and giving up The Stuff of Life as they Age.  It becomes rather a Mission Statement this downsizing thing going on.

   


You might still think it's all very Nice and you can still Appreciate much of it, you just don't necessarily Need to attain it anymore, or at least less of it.  You realize you're not taking any of it with you when the Transition from Time into Eternity comes and so the disposal of much of it becomes a new priority.  What to Keep... how much of it to Keep... detaching from sentiments, nostalgia and attachments to Stuff.  Some inner conflicts can wage as you are going thru that metamorphosis to the new stage and phase of Life and wanting or requiring less.




For those of us with Maximalist tendencies the Simple Life can be a Desire, but actually reaching that Promised Land of Simplicity is a Journey, sometimes a longer one than is comfortable.  I'm at that juncture where a Lifetime of accumulating The Good Stuff and having the Luxury Home has been attained, enjoyed... and now considering the Simple Life later on is definitely on The Bucket List.  That along with having the Freedom to Travel Light again... like before... so you almost come Full Circle!




My Friend already shed a bunch of The Stuff of Life, including The Home... and is truly The Nomad right now and rather enjoying it... a part of me has the Wanderlust itch to join in and participate.  She and I go way, way back... when we both had practically nothing, yet much contentment and adventure going on.   Contentment, how much of that has been Lost along the way?  You begin to realize that often you reach certain pinnacles and the view from the top ain't all that, to whom much is given much is required!  You might have been more content in the Valleys of Life in the Journey that is Life.




It's all rather a Learning Curve along the Journey... what you have, what you lack... and how much of any of that is either adding to contentment, not phasing the level of contentment or taking away from it?   How content are you she asked... THERE?   I had to admit that the restlessness in me is revealing... it's very telling that contentment here has not been achieved at all and a part of me realizes no matter how fab Villa Boheme' is, it's not enough to bring contentment back.  I was more content before the Move here, I was grounded to my Community and in Love with my Historic Home, it was supposed to be my Forever Home, I intended for it to be in fact.  But shit happens... did happen... move on and try to get Over it.




I can only describe owning this as like having that temporary Love Affair... with the Lust of the Eye driving the decision to possess it and The Issues of Life and circumstance making it the best Investment decision at that place in Time.  Perhaps you once dated that super Handsome Guy who was visually appealing but lacked substance and so you knew he wasn't The One, he wasn't Mister Right he was just Mister Right Now.  *Smiles*   Villa Boheme' has served Purpose and enjoying Luxury Living has had it's perks, it's a Lovely House... HOUSE... it just doesn't always feel like Home... HOME.  There is a difference, I Love staying at Luxury Hotels too I just don't know I'd be content Living in one permanently, you know?  Afterwards you go Home, where ever that is.




The G-Kid Force and I feel AT HOME in our Old Neighborhood, we Miss it terribly.  No, we do not miss some of the Urban Issues that still exist in The Hood, but when we're there it's like being Home again.  There is still that strong connection to Community, everybody knows us, Misses us... there is Fellowship among those in the Community that is sadly lacking in the affluent burbs of Subdivision Hell.   If you buy another Home I told my Friend, consider everything very, very Carefully... sort out the Illusions from the substance of the Community.  On the surface some things look Idyllic 'til you're Living with it daily and it ain't all that after all, just a pretty or fancy facade!  She's looking at Rural Living as Idyllic but I know she's a City Girl like me... it might not be a Good fit!?  How much Boredom and Isolation can you handle I ask her?




She laughs, she tells me she's already Wondering the same things when she Scouts these small Towns with cheap Real Estate and no Action!  She misses her Old Community and Wonders if she should go House shopping there again to find The Forever Home to grow Old in?   She's traveling to discover if Forever should be here in Arizona or somewhere else?  I've contemplated leaving since Real Estate elsewhere is sometimes a much better bargain for sure and on fixed incomes you think about that more.   But... I know I don't want to leave and start over somewhere foreign to me.  I've been Nomadic most of my Life and traveled extensively, I like this region best, Arizona is now Home, it's just finding the right Home Base spot in it, a Community I will connect to again.




She's on her way back to Arizona and we'll be looking at Real Estate again together... over the years we have been Neighbors before, perhaps that could happen again?  How long before you will ditch the McManse she asked?  I truly don't know, I think I'd want Princess T to have grown up first since this is a good place for her to finish growing up.  I'd also probably need at least that long to de-stash enough of our Hoard of Stuff to fit into somewhere very Modest and travel Light again.  It's rather a huge undertaking and quite intimidating to also make another Big Move even later in Life I says, shit Girl we ain't getting any younger!!!




  We both laughed, don't go extreme she warned me, she's known me long enough to realize I'm prone to extremes!  *LMAO*  Well, I was totally diggin' this Historic Home that only had 980 sf and Wishing I already had shed enough to just get it I says!  *Winks*  It's cheap enough I could consider paying Cash with the equity from the McManse and a part of me really digs THAT since I prefer paid off Homes I own outright.  I always have the regrets of giving up the paid off Home and starting over with a loan and debt... groan.




But smashing the entire Family and all my present shit into 980 sf from 4350 sf would take some serious Magic unless I buy a Warehouse too!  It was difficult enough to go from Acreage with three Cottages, several Outbuildings and a Main House to this monstrosity of a House!   But it IS downsizing I suppose, my way... which is rather slow and steady, but Lord Jesus will I have to become an Immortal to finish The Process in Time?!?  *LOL*  Well, you sure have amassed some impressive Stuff over all these years I've known you she admits, True that... and clearly I'm not Over ALL of it just yet either.  *Winks*




Several of my Friends have a running joke that when I AM completely Over it ALL, I must give them first options to relieve me of much of it.  *LMAO*  But you know what I won't EVER be Over I tell my Friend?   She knows before I even tell her because she's similarly afflicted... THE THRILL OF THE HUNT... we just can't seem to Stop... and hey, we're so damned Good at it by now aren't we?! *Bwahahahahahahaha!!!*   Well, perhaps we both just Need that Simple Home but with a big damned Barn in the back she says... she could be right...



*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

5 comments:

  1. Finding a home is so much different than finding a house. Who knew?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, and it's not as easy as knowing right away that it won't feel like Home, which adds to the dilemma when choosing!

      Delete
  2. Some great thoughts here Dawn! Glad you have a friend who gets you.
    xo Jazzy Jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too... sharing so much History with long time Friends helps with the 'getting' of one another.

      Delete
  3. I read a great quote today but now I can't quite remember what it was I follow sassy Outwater on Facebook. She is a really amazing writer. She is blind and a fair amount of her writing focuses on her experience as a blind person which of course extends out into relevance in many other ways. Anyway she said something about building a home around people or I can't recall it but it was a very good quote. It's kind of a dance isn't it? Certain places do feel more homey for us there's no getting around that at the same time home is in many ways a kind of relationship with place. We create the relationship with a place. And just like with relationships with people some of them are easier to begin and maintain. I love the community where I live but it is beginning to gentrify and I suspect I will be priced out of it before long. I have lived here 20 years. I love going to the same hair cutter and being able to walk down the street to her shop which is very dusty and always has interesting people and it getting their hair cut or rolled or trimmed or what have you. Life will be very different when I have to move one day. I try to use the knowledge of that to deepen my appreciation of my present.

    ReplyDelete

A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl