Saturday, May 12, 2018

Deep In The De-stashing Process



I am very, very Deep in the De-stashing Process right now... Editing, Purging, Culling and Curating Possessions relentlessly at the moment.  I'm becoming more ruthless about it now that I'm done with the Primary Purge and making a Secondary Purge of items that initially I thought might be Keepers.  Possessions that still had to be stored in Milk Crates, of the few last bastion towers of storage items which didn't yet have a Place, so were languishing in the Hoarded Garages.  Towers of storage that were taunting me to do a Secondary Purge of, so that the Hoarded Garage Project could be more swiftly dealt with once and for all!  Remember my Primary Goal was only Seasonal Holiday Storage would be allowed, so it bothered me to still have crated items that weren't THAT!




I was actually quite amazed and Proud of the fact that during the Secondary Purge of what had initially been Keeper possessions, I was now ruthlessly Letting Go of 3/4's of it!  Clearly after having it crated back up for a few Months after the Primary Purge, had allowed me to detach from most of it, knowing my attachment issues are waning was quite the Victory!  I didn't Feel anything about the majority of it and the 1/4 of it I've decided to Keep might also lose Favor with me if there is no logical reason to Keep or Display it.  You might be Wondering what has caused The Shift in forming less attachment to Cool Objects that I've spent a Lifetime Collecting and mostly Enjoying?




I got a real Epiphany that bordered on causing an Anxiety Attack when it struck, because it was so Profound for me Emotionally.   I've been trying to find new Blogs to read and stumbled upon an old, now defunct one called Ugly Houses, or something to that effect.   Now, to be sure what was Shared, apparently by this Bloggers Readers and numerous Realtors, were Real Homes listed for Sale and how the interiors or lack of Care or discipline of the Owners, inhibited Buyers.  That was the gist of the Blog, mixed with snarky Humor, that I ain't gonna lie, was Funny but in a mean-spirited way tho'.   And tho' the images were overall pretty mind-blowing and shockingly extreme, even to me whose seen a lot... I could somewhat relate to a few, in the struggle of accumulating Too Much and not always recognizing Just Enough and No More!!!




Some clearly gave me the impression that the Home belonged to someone Elderly who probably could no longer keep up with the housekeeping duties and just owned a Lifetime of Memories in stuff kept.   So now it had become stuff not kept well enough to be healthy and properly maintained.   And then there were those whose Mantra clearly was Too Much Is Never Enough Ever, which I sometimes border on myself.  Except they'd gone straight over the Edge into the abyss of Insanity with it being Visual and Sensory Overload to such an Extreme extent, the Eye could not Rest nor appreciate even the loveliest of Homes it all occupied!  




One Home in particular stood out to me because it was well over a Million Dollar Manse belonging to what the Listing described as an Artist, clearly a Successful Affluent one, but Holy Hell, it was cluttered with SO MUCH stuff!!!  Stuff so disparate and odd that you couldn't even look at how Amazing the Home was, it was like looking at a Bad Wreck, you couldn't take your Eyes off the carnage of possessions accumulated and displayed that was the ruination of this Beautiful Property!  The Mental Health aspect of that Home was sadly apparent, it had gone into definite Couch Time Needed and an overdue Intervention needing done.  It was filled with a lot of Good Stuff, a lot of stuff that was Weird and not necessarily Wonderful or Interesting but just Bizarre... and chillingly, a lot of Cool stuff I would Collect myself and that kinda made my skin crawl!




No, seriously it did... because uh oh, I thought, WHAT IF I go over the Edge one day {I know it's subjective, some may think I already have... LOL} and end up like THAT!?  *Insert Shudder coz that Home made me want to run out of there Screaming to escape it!*   And the embarrassment of it all because I know what I was thinking looking at those Images and read what every Comment said and it wasn't good at all.  In fact it made me feel profoundly bad and sad for whoever those Homeowners were, it had become a Spectacle of Human Tragedy at their own hands!





In fact, if I knew that individual well and Cared deeply about them, I'd of had to overstep the boundary of allowing someone to Live any way they please and say something... anything... to make them realize this is just abnormal to a disturbing degree!   Now, I'm not normal by any stretch of anyone's imagination and that's not what I mean, normal is relative and highly overrated in my humble opinion... but when something becomes abnormal to a disturbing degree then it has gone over the Edge completely.




If someone is close enough to hanging on just over the Edge and could be safely brought back to Sanity then I couldn't let them do a Free Fall without having a guilty conscience about not trying to Save them at least!   Now, some may have jumped over the Edge gleefully and willingly, but as for myself, I'm not trying to Go There so it was rather a Wake-Up Call that Balance is absolutely necessary when feathering the Nest that is Home.   So I do want to reach Just Enough and not have Too Much, no matter how Awesome the possessions are in order to have Balance and Moderation in my Life.  Excess of almost anything can become unhealthy and my Logical Brain knows that even if Urges sometimes override that knowledge.  *Smiles*   I think all of us Human Magpie Types prone to Incurable Collecting might eventually struggle with Balance and reaching Critical Mass of our accumulating.




I am an Accumulator, I have enjoyed The Thrill Of The Hunt and I get a Rush from it, so it is my 'Drug' of choice I suppose.  To go Treasure Hunting, Scavenging, Rescuing Treasures of the Past, Preserving, having a Love of Old... it's just in my DNA and there's no getting it out of my Genetic Make-Up any more than you could a predisposition to a disease.   Because it's rather an affliction really that isn't as much a Choice as it becomes part of your way of Being.   I suppose I could alter my way of Being to remove some of the unhealthier habits and urges, so that part has been my Goal and Free Will Choice in recent years... to Work it out and Keep Working it out.   I'm making good Progress in my Self-Improvement Project and it is MY Issue to Deal with and Work on, mostly alone, the Family isn't Responsible for it.




So there you have it, the catalyst of ramping up the relentless De-stashing of Villa Boheme' to hyper-drive.   I feel quite driven to do it and to see it through actually... those images seared into my brain of some of those unfortunate Souls that clearly didn't Work it out or perhaps even Work on it... or might not have even been Aware they had an Issue?   I'm not sure, some people do and yet feel no control over their Issues and the torment of that can be pretty extreme and Heart wrenching too.   I just feel that I can have a measure of control over my Issues that I CAN DO something about.   With full time Caregiving it consumes a lot of my time and my Issues probably were a poor Coping mechanism I developed to remain Sane thru the fuckery of The Issues of Life I couldn't possibly Control nor Change, who knows?   You always have to turn to something... but that doesn't mean you have to not turn back after you've Coped and Survived it... whatever IT is? 



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Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... and a Happy Mother's Day... to all you Mothers... Winks... Dawn... The Bohemian

4 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. Myself, I'm a natural clutterer but inside me there's a minimalist struggling to get out.

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    1. That's hilarious and so True for me too! winks

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  2. I think it is healthiest to realize that some personal issues are coping mechanisms. When life is crazy we do crazy things. Letting go---can also be a mechanism towards the goal of getting it all under control. I'm in that process myself, still. Life is a process....of letting go....and change.

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    1. Absolutely, the Coping of Life can be a delicate balance, can't it?

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