Friday, March 30, 2018

Egg Dying Ritual Gone Left

By the looks of things here in the Sanitized Land Of Blog you might think that the Traditional Egg Dying Ritual at Villa Boheme' had been Enjoyable... Fun even... unless of coarse you remembered that I'd be doing it with the Beast Princess!  *Smiles*  Because Dying Eggs with a Tween prone to being an OCD Drama Queen,  having clinical Mood Regulation Issues and intense Tween Angst can go Left on the turn of a Dime my Friends!   Oh yeah, it STARTED OUT Enjoyable, Fun even... for about the first 10 Minutes.   Before the shit hit the proverbial Fan when she suddenly became discombobulated when I touched an Egg that apparently was not yet Finished!  Then the exaggerated sulking and sour Mood negativity reached Critical Mass and I exited Stage Left before I totally lost my shit!  Anytime Celebrating Easter with the Word Fuck ensues, you're clearly not in the Fruits of the Holy Spirit anymore either!  *LOL*

Of coarse I'm the only one even willing or brave enough to Dye Eggs with her anymore... The Young Prince said he would have been throwing Eggs once the exaggerated heightened Drama started and nobody was having Fun anymore!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*   He left the Building, until things Calmed back down to where she could be Human again and I could Calmly walk back into the Egg Dying without dropping F-Bombs!  *LMAO*   I rarely use profanity, but sometimes it's better than conveying your intense irritation in more unsuitable ways... you know, like flinging Eggs and Dye all over the Kitchen once she'd triggered me by going from Happy to Ratchet Bitch in less than a split second!  *Le Sigh*   When he came back he was Smiling in that Cynical way one does when one knows how Left a Good Time had gone so unexpectedly that it set Gramma Off!  *LOL*

"So, how did the rest of the Egg Dying go?" he wryly inquired with a Knowing Look and Broad Grin!  Knowing full well that the Egg Dying Ritual didn't go so Well... since once he'd heard the word Fuck from clear Upstairs being uttered loudly, he'd HAD to come down to at least see some of the Action before heading out the door until things came Calmly back to Center after everyone Cooled off!  The Man had quickly left the Recliner and sequestered himself in our Boudoir until Egg Dying Smackdown 2018 was over, he wasn't getting in the middle of that shit of the confrontation between the Old Irate Woman and the Pre-Demonic Tween Girl!  *LOL*  I'd had to walk away and out of the room, I am getting too Old to Cope with Tween Drama and Angst!  I'm at kinda a Zero Tolerance Season of Life for Dramatic People in fact... I'm a Drama Free Mama anyway.   This is likely why Women my Age don't Breed and biologically aren't NORMALLY Raising Tweens anymore, it's just not NATURAL!!!   *Smiles*

She pouted for quite a while, loudly Dying Eggs petulantly alone while I took time to Cool off by going Online and getting my sense of Humor back about the whole shebang and how Surreal it always is.   It's not as if this is my first Rodeo with Raising Children of all Ages and Stages... I'm a Seasoned Pro at it after two Generations of consecutive/concurrent Parenting well into our Golden Years.   To those who think the Terrible Twos are a handful, wait 'til that little Darling is Twelve and hormones and pre-demonic behavior begins to be exhibited my Friend!   You'll then know that Two was a Walk In The Park by comparison!!!  I've Raised Boys and I've Raised Girls... Girls tend to get really hard AFTER about Ten and Boys were generally more Challenging PRIOR to about Ten in my Experience and humble Opinion.

Besides, a Man Child really doesn't want his Ass handed to him by an Irate Grandmother, it totally ruins his Street Cred, so he's more likely to be in compliance once he realizes, shit, I've set her Off, this is NOT going to be Good or Go Well for me!   *Bwahahahahaha!!!*   But Beast Princesses, they actually have the delusion that Puberty trumps Menopause in the realm of whose going to be Victorious in an ugly Estro Face-Off!!!  *Winks*   She relented, after all, her initial request for me to Dye Eggs with her was SUPPOSED to be a Quality Good Time in Celebration of Easter and our Risen Lord and Savior... Right?  *Smiles*   Jesus would be relieved, the Old Woman and the Pre-Woman were now able to establish a Truce and finish the Egg Dying Ritual without anyone actually Dying!!!   *Smiles*

She went from I Love You-I Hate You-I Love To Hate You-I Hate to Love You... and complete refusal of Photography... to wanting me to Photograph her and Finished Mini Masterpieces while Proudly showing me she'd gotten no Dye all over the Kitchen or her Wardrobe!  My brand new Dish Towels were not so Fortunate... but it was a Minor Casualty considering... *Whew!!!*  Her switchback from Happy to Unlovely/Uncooperative and Back to Happy again are a constant... Bipolar Folks are like that, I should be used to that... the flip-flop of lightening fast Mood changes you cannot possibly keep up with or keep track of... but it's still such a freakin' CHALLENGE my Friends!  Who knew Egg Dying could be so Emotionally Draining and Exhaustive, Right?!?

 I also have ANOTHER Dreaded Meeting at School with her School Psychologist, Special Ed Teachers,  School Board and all her Regular Class Teachers next Tuesday... so Pray for me@!  Things aren't going so Swell on the Educational Front either since they said she no longer Qualified for Special Ed Services.  You know, once she got A's in so many Classes last Quarter and had 'improved' to where she can't receive them anymore and didn't "Need" them according to Regulations and Qualifying Factors!!   We've been down this ten miles of Bad Road before... ad nauseum...

 So now we're back to mostly Failing all of those very same Classes she used to receive Resources in so she could pull an A and Catch Up... to where she finally felt Confident, Proud of Accomplishment and Intelligent!  A's to F's in a Quarter... Oy Vey!   Because she IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE a Special Needs Child.  Taking away what helped her to Succeed and get those A's, thus setting her up for Failure again and falling behind, to me is just Cruel, inconsistent and damaging to Self-Esteem.  She's back to thinking and saying she's Stupid and telling me it's probably a Good thing she's Pretty and Popular because she's not so Smart!!!   It breaks my Heart... and I don't want her to Believe she can only get by on Looks and Personality in Life because she's been Labeled Academically Challenged, Learning Disabled and Special Ed by a System.  I Believe some of her Internal Rage, Feelings of Inadequacy compared to her Peers and utter Frustration is WHY she Acts out so often now at Home?  Perhaps this is part of the reason why an Egg out of place that wasn't yet deemed Finished sent her right over the Deep End and thus caused the Chain Reaction and Chaos at Home???

Thank God it's Good Friday and she promptly recovered, got invited to a Sleepover at a BFF's and we can move forward and Enjoy a Blessed Easter now...  *Sigh of Relief!!!*


Happy and Blessed Easter to you my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Easter Hastily Unfolded

Because I always keep it 100% Real with you Guys, I ain't gonna lie, the Let Down I felt Today after having several days of Euphoria about finding a potential Ideal Forever Home was brutal.   I was very Emotionally Raw and yet avoided being overly Dramatic about it, everyone here pretty much knew how disappointed I was and they were considerate about it.

I'd had my Realtor do the necessary due diligence and before we could arrange a Viewing the place was already under Contract with another Solid Buyer.  As it turns out, our due diligence complete, it wouldn't have been the right move or Investment for us, which did ease some of the Let Down... knowing I wouldn't have bought it anyway... but still.

I had already spent too many days fantasizing about living there because it checked off many of the important Lifestyle boxes on our Wish List, which is a very Unique, Quirky and Picky one, so not many places do.   I could envision living Happily Ever After there and it was a healthy compromise with The Man too.  Since it also checked off many of his important requests of not living in the City, but yet still with great Walk Score of a smaller Town to everything The Force and I want and miss so much since moving and giving up our Beloved Historic Homestead. 

The Pros List was lengthy, the Cons List much briefer, but considerable enough I'm rather relieved another Buyer made it so that we didn't have to take a Tour and fall further in Love with the place.   It was Historic, a 1926 Industrial Conversion with complete Residential Living Spaces, large Warehouse Space, full Basement, Office and Workshop Spaces... at a Price Point that was way cheaper than living here.  It had been an Ice Manufacturing Facility Ninety Years ago, how Cool is that?!?

One of my Not So Secret Fantasies is to Own an Industrial Historic Conversion Property turned Residence.   Not only that, but by more than pure Serendipity, the Food Ministry I had Volunteered at for more than Twenty Years just happened to have relocated right next door so we would have been Neighbors again!   They used to be our Neighbors at the Historic Homestead and thus for two Generations our Family Members had Volunteered there to Serve our Community.

My Realtor was gentle about Letting me Down, he knew the Desires of my Heart, after all, he Sold our Historic Beloved Homestead for us and to the right Buyer who will Lovingly complete the Restoration of it.   He also knows the back story as to why the exile to Luxurious Villa Boheme' was necessary.  In order to ensure I could finalize the Adoption of The G-Kid Force and Appease The System and comply with the Lifestyle they demanded we have for me to be Qualified as an Adoptive Parent.  Hoops now jumped thru successfully I don't have a Panel of Caseworkers and Adoption Courts telling me how to Live anymore and impose demands... good riddance!

Apparently The System is unaware that people, Children being raised included, can be completely Happy and Functional living in da Hood and within their means around a tight knit Community where you have many Friends who have each other's backs.   But I digress... that is the Past and this is the Present and I've been thinking a lot about our Future because well... Tick-Tock... we ain't getting any Younger. Though Luxurious as it is, Villa Boheme' is NOT the Forever Home, it was never meant to be actually, it was simply a means to an important End... served it's Purpose.   I can now say I've lived the Life of alleged Luxury Living in an upscale Neighborhood... not that Impressed.   Actually I'm not Impressed at all, delusions of grandeur and being boogie abound around this Community.

This is not my Tribe, I don't want to be a part of this Tribe either, prefer my own Tribe of peeps, can't wait to get back to them actually!!!   But while in exile out here in the Rurals of Subdivision Hell, I've been pressing thru as best as I can without despairing and trying to ward off daily unhappiness, loneliness and severe depression, it ain't been easy!   A heady dose of temporary Euphoria had felt a lot more like my Normal because at least it was Positive Energy like I used to have ALL of the time!   Negative Energy out here abounds too, I Hate it, I find it to be totally Toxic and contagious!!!   The due diligence Good News tho' was that Villa Boheme' is now worth WAY MORE than I'd estimated... so Equity has built up exponentially fast... Splendid!   That was yet another Purpose to Buying a Luxury Home during a time when Blood was in the Streets in the Luxury Home Market. 

As the effects of the complete Let Down and disappointment set in Today, as I knew it probably would once it all sunk in... I languished in Bed after getting Princess T off to School... until mid-afternoon.   I tried to attend to the Hoarded Garages but I just wasn't Feelin' it, though an Epic Move had terrified me more than a little and given me some intense Anxiety, so there was the Relief I wasn't tackling THAT!  *Ha ha ha*   The Man could tell I Needed once again to Escape and get the Hell out of here for a City Fix so I could Heal a little from being Broken Hearted again.   We drove all the way back to the Old Neighborhood for Lunch, being around people we really Like and effortlessly interact with in Positive ways was Uplifting.  I didn't wanna set anyone on fire out there!  *LOL*

Got Home to Princess T asking IF we were even doing Easter this Year?  Being that I have to Work Saturday and Easter Sunday Nights this Weekend and Easter Dinner Traditionally gathered at Dino's Restaurant wasn't happening this Year, she was just Wondering.   Being I had no Easter Vignettes anywhere to be seen around Villa Boheme' and barely Cared... I still hadn't bought White Eggs... and the Easter Candy was languishing on the Kitchen Island awaiting Basketry and Egg Hunt Filling.  She busily got to Work filling sixty Plastic and Metal Easter Eggs for the Hunt.  We had Street Taco Night and I hastily unfolded the Easter Vignette Decor on our Family Altar.


Are you gonna Photograph it Gramma like you always do she implored?  She... being the One... who just the other day in the innocence of a Child had made my Heart Heavy when she candidly said that since we've moved here I'm unhappy and depressed all of the time and she sure Wished I could be Happy again all the time like I used to be!   I Promised her that I'm Working on it, because damn I'd sure like that too!   I don't Like feeling so miserable and having to force myself to get thru a day every day and put on a Positive Attitude because it's just not coming Naturally like it used to when I was where I Wanted to be and belonged.

I don't like the stress of Living Large because we are not Living Large kinda people, we've always intentionally lived well below our means and for a reason... it gives one more resources to actually have a LIFE.  We're not the Keeping Up With the Jones Folk... in fact, I never remember anyone ever being Jealous of our previous Lifestyle, everyone probably thought they were Living way better than us and that was Okay with us... we were quite Content and Loved our Previous Lives and our Lower Income Community of Good Neighbors who are still Friends.

  There were Bar-B-Ques and Parties every single Weekend in da Hood even tho' most people were Working Poor... here the majority of the Neighbors don't even know each other and don't really want to either.  If they were to have a gathering you likely would not be invited.  With the exception of one Dear Family next door who try desperately to bond Community by Hosting a Fab 4th of July Party every year.  Each Year less Neighbors come and more of it is just us and their immediate Family!  But at least they try... I just know I might not try as hard or as long as the 13 Years they have.  I Hope I do not have to Serve Out a Life Sentence here... I am Homesick for my Old Life, I want it back!

And now, because I've said my Peace, and because sometimes I Torture myself, and I don't really know Why, I am Sharing The Brick 1926 Ice House just in case you were Curious out here in the Land Of Blog about what I'd been Euphoric about but keeping a lid on until I knew what the Outcome would be?!  *LMAO*   I'm not a Tease, so I hadda come clean and Share even tho' I'm not buying it after all... dammit.  But if the due diligence had been more favorable... and that other pesky Buyer hadn't suddenly made a Serious Offer... well... there would have been a For Sale Sign on our Front Yard for SURE and I'd be packing all my shit again and not bothering to unpack the rest in the Hoarded Garages!  *Smiles*

The Industrial and Commercial Space was ground floor and below ground floor... the Residential on the second floor, like they used to do in the Old Days of Business and Residence Combos, which I happen to LOVE... LOVE... LOVE!  Complete Conversion to Residential but maintaining the Industrial Zoning would have been what I'd do... coz duh... this place once Sold for well over a half Million bucks back before the Economy Tanked and Businesses in small Towns went tits!  It still had the Niche with the Original 1920's exterior Ice Dispensers for the Public, no longer Operational, but still Historically significant and Cool!

I liked that it was a corner lot right beside Main Street with every amenity my Family enjoys as a Lifestyle Choice and excellent Walk Score.   No real Landscape Maintenance, booyah... owns the fenced Lot Beside it too, so a huge double Lot piece of Prime Real Estate.   Has four Parking Spaces designated to it right outside the front door, including a Handicap one for The Man, he had already Claimed it.  *Winks*  So no HOA bitchin' and Fining later on when both The Young Prince and Princess T are driving and we have three vehicles to park at Home!

Downstairs Front Office Commercial Space had this lovely Trendy Industrial Grey Living Room Space with separate Kitchenette and Bathrooms for The Force to live Downstairs if they wanted more Privacy as they grow up.   Or we want more Privacy as we grow Older... ha ha ha.   The Downstairs livable space was 770 sf which is Fine for Kids, like their own Apartment Space.

The Upstairs Residential Apartment Space was 1,500 sf and had a Kiva Wood Burning Fireplace... loving everything but that Grey-Blue carpeting, but in 1916 my Guess is that underneath that Carpet could be Hardwood Industrial Flooring, which was Common in turn of the Century Industrial or Commercial Buildings.  Or concrete, either being Fine with me after I ripped up the hideous Carpet.

Outside of the Upstairs Residential Space was a fab 670 sf covered Deck with panoramic Views of the area in three directions!   The Man was fantasizing about spending time out there surveying his Kingdom!  *LOL*   I was fantasizing sipping Wine Coolers or a Corona while tending to the raised Herb Garden Beds I'd put in around the Parameter as an Urban Garden Space... setting up an Antique Day Bed and Hammock... and some Bistro Seating for Entertaining and Dining Alfresco every Night!

Ok, now on to the Tricky part, owning a whopping 3,050 sf Warehouse with adjoining Office Space!   The Hunter-Gatherer in me could be in trouble with this much Storage to accumulate and Hoard Treasures, I ain't gonna lie!  *Bwahahahaha!!!*   That said, even if I never got everything unpacked from the LAST Epic Move of my Lifetime, spread out down and in here would have given me Zero Anxiety like the Hoarded Garages and insufficient Storage do here!  Not to mention... storing Inventory for my Antique Mall Spaces would be so easy along with Pricing and Organizing would now be a breeze.

But that's not all... it had an exterior Covered Workshop, sf unknown but it was pretty damned big, we went and looked over the Lovely Commercial sliding Fencing around it!   And it has a huge Commercial Yard Area paved, no maintaining that 'landscape', just put Greenery in Art Pots.   The Kiddos would have a Field Day with this entire Space being Play Area... along with the Warehouse Space... they could Rollerblade their asses off and entertain as many Friends as they liked without any incessantly Complaining Neighbors that can't handle Kids just being Kids!

Here's the Warehouse Office Space, Loved the Industrial Fans and huge Antique Double Doors and Transom Bank of Windows and would have set up my Art Studio and Library in here.

A peek at the side outside The Yard Area, plenty more Parking in front of the bank of sliding Gates...   The School Princess T would have attended was directly behind this Property, just separated by a wide Alleyway.  The only other building on the Block this Property is located on for the same side of the Street was a Car Wash and Gas Station with attached Convenience Store, which also took up two Lots and was thus in a Word "Convenient" as Hell!  *Smiles*

The Kitchen was Contemporary late Sixties to early Seventies 'updated' and thus 'dated' and not True to the Era of the Building but I didn't Hate it.   In fact, the sleek Countertops were in good condition and kinda Industrial Looking enough to leave "as is" or replace with Cement Countertops or Granite... and I'd just have painted the dated Cabinetry Chalkboard Black and replaced the linoleum with Hardwood if there wasn't already Original 1920's Hardwood underneath of it?   I would have Shiplapped the Walls of the Kitchen with Salvaged Wood and bought a Commercial Fridge.  Since the Building is 1920's Brick I would have tried to expose some of the Interior Bricks Walls in any Rooms I could.  I could have done all that since I'd of been saving around $700 or more a Month living here compared to where we currently live... yeah, that much of a Deal my Friends!

Since it was originally an Ice Manufacturing Plant it had a Well and also it's own Subzero Basement Storage Area... in a Desert, well, that's pretty Cool in more ways than one!  *Bwahahahaha!!!*   So anyway... now ya know... and can see why I was Let Down and had to Grieve a bit Today at what was not to Be.  But... at least I got Easter hastily unfolded and up and running... had a Nice Meal Out with The Man... and so it wasn't a completely squandered day in abject Misery.   *LOL*


Happy Blessed Easter to you all my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian

Mixed Feelings

 via: VINTAGE ENVY Creations


Well, what I was trying to do fell thru... I have mixed feelings... disappointment and yet relief... the Deal would have been Sweet if things had Worked Out... but at least I don't have to Move now.

Wanting to do something and being able to do something can sometimes be Worlds apart.  It's apparently not meant to be and my acceptance of that was better than I'd expected actually.

Lately acceptance of things, even with disappointment or resignation, has been okay, which I suppose is Good.   I remain guardedly Optimistic regardless of outcomes lately, choosing Positive Energy is preferable to succumbing to Negative Energy.

I am not at all prepared for Easter or getting The G-Kid Force's Baskets, Egg Hunt and such done and this is one of the first years I haven't even brought out any Easter Decor to create a few vignettes around the house.   Easter is Sunday... time is just warping by... leaving me far behind.

At the Historic Homestead I always Decorated for the Holidays and was extremely proactive in participating in all of them.   Here I find I just haven't and seem to lose track of my Days... my Weeks... my Months... it blends into it's monotony... it's daily existence.

I think I might have Lived more fully then, compared to now, I'm just not Sure?  It felt fuller anyway, not so empty and devoid of... everything.   There is a void and I'm not sure how to fill it actually.

When I got Home from Work Tonight, The Man said he was Sorry we didn't get the shot at The Historic Ice House... long Story... which doesn't warrant a Post now to even explain.   I told him I was disappointed, but also relieved I didn't have the Anxiety of staging this place for a Listing, trying to keep it clean for Viewings or contemplating another Epic Move to accomplish Solo, I don't think I have any of that in me?

I don't even have White Eggs yet to dye for Easter with the Kids!  That puts everything in perspective right there my Friends!!!  *LOL*   He confided that The Young Prince had told him, after hearing the disappointing News, that he doubted Gramma had another Move left in her anyway, so perhaps it's just as well?  He could be right...

He's a pretty observant Kid, he sees my struggle to maintain Order out of the Chaos that reigns around here most days.   There are baskets of Princess T's Laundry down the Hallway leading to the Laundry Room... at least she got it off of her Bedroom Floor and into the Baskets... that's Progress around here!  Baskets... must dig out the Easter Baskets...

I'm bringing the Hoard of TV Trays back downstairs, that have migrated to my Room, is what The Young Prince said to me when he realized I was Home from Work.  He said that voluntarily so that I didn't have to say it when I saw no Trays down here again for anyone else to use.   His Guilty conscience was clearly getting the best of him?  *Smiles*  Perhaps he thought I was too distraught about the Ice House News to risk winding me up, I dunno?

I could now only just Imagine trying to field a Call from my Realtor about Showing this Home on short notice and having dirty clothing scattered all over the floor of her Room and TV Trays scattered all over the floor of his Room.  Yes, it is Good that does not now have to actually happen, I'm Honestly relieved!  *LMAO*

Besides, my messes are just about as epic lately, as I'm fiercely Purging possessions from the Hoarded Garages to price and get into the Antique Mall. And unpacking what has taken three plus years to get around to unpacking since the last Epic Move!  *Le Sigh*  Perpetuating that would be the very definition of Insanity!   Indefinitely packing and unpacking... simultaneously in fact...

I'm Wondering if the Egg Dyes I did find while cleaning and organizing cabinetry will adequately dye Brown Eggs?   My Mind wanders like that, flitting from subject to subject and unable to focus upon any one thing no matter how important.   Adult ADHD ain't no Joke... but at least my Hyperactivity part of that is waning.

I at least know where all my Ostrich Eggs are so I guess I could unceremoniously plop them around existing vignettes in an Easterly Fashion... Easter On The Fly?  *Winks*   I did buy Dollar Store Candies to stuff into Plastic Eggs for an impromptu Egg Hunt, Yay Me!!!

Princess T informed me this would be her last Year of Egg Hunting, since she transitions this September from Tween to full blown Teen and is putting away such Childish things apparently.   *LOL*   Good, now you're blossoming into full blown Womanhood perhaps you could initiate that Laundry of yours in a Basket Trail down my Hallway?!  *Winks*

And in case you were Wondering, NO, I did NOT whip myself up into a delayed Easter Decorating frenzy for these Post Images, they're rehashed from Easters Past.  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*   I couldn't even tell you where Carnival Kitsch Accordion playing Bunny is stashed if you paid me a million bucks to!?

Besides, I'm pretty certain that nobody around here gives a damn anyway whether or not I've Decorated for any Holiday or notices that I didn't get around to it.   So yeah, most Years I've done it more for my own self-gratification I suppose.   *Ha ha ha*

In fact, I'd be confident in laying Odds that nobody will be heard saying OMG Gramma forgot to Decorate for Easter, what shall we do?!?  *Bwahahaha!*  Though Princess T did pitch a hissy fit that I forgot Tomatoes for Street Taco Night... and after I went out and specifically bought some she ate Top Ramen instead!   *No Comment!*

Nobody really ate Dinner while you were at Work is what The Man told me when I got Home from Work... I really don't Care... I'd been too tired to prep the Taco Meat before leaving for Work so that was really likely Why?!  *Ha ha ha*  Without a Spotter The Man isn't allowed to use the Stove anyway lest he wander off and forget he's Cooking!   I'm sure The Force ate something inappropriately not at all nutritious in lieu of of fixing Street Tacos.  *LOL*

The Young Prince informed me just before he retired for Bed that Facebook is being investigated by the FBI because they've likely Sold my Profile and everybody else's to God knows Who... Swell.   Like my freakin' Profile is such a Valuable piece of information at this stage.  My Commodity Value is likely tilting towards trading at a negative price!   *Smiles*


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl