Thursday, January 25, 2018

Your Child Can't Come Here Anymore



Your Child can't come here anymore... the Words echoed in our Ears and were received with an expectancy during the Meeting that I Wish I could tell you we didn't expect.  We really Care about your Child and know he has an absolutely Brilliant Mind, but this clearly isn't Working and isn't in the best Interest of the School, this last Incident was a hum-dinger... Yep, it was indeed.    The outcome wasn't the worst case scenario but it wasn't the best case scenario... and I don't have sufficient Words... since it isn't Working... clearly.   I wasn't going to talk about it, but I'm a staunch Advocate on behalf of the Disabled so it wouldn't have done Justice to remain Silent and Secretive about The Struggle, however messy and unpleasant.




 And he just is how he is... Genius Child with a Tortured Soul and Mind that Mental Illness ravages daily... that's not going to Change, no Magic Wands... no Divine Healing to date, so what CAN I say?   But my Heart still Aches... my Heart Breaks into a million pieces all over again each and every time, you never get used to it... you want so much more for them, the Special Needs Child in your Care and with no Cure!   But Behavioral Incidents... inability to Conform or make good Choices on a consistent basis... excessive Absences due to Chronic Mental Illness and Physical Illness... failure to Succeed and Progress at an expected rate... unsuitable Placement... it's all been said before ad nauseum.  




 Too many times before, the Alternatives to the Alternative are now maxed out and exhausted... and without going into the grim details of Why this time... let's just suffice to say The Young Prince is now no longer in School... again.   He can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore... Five "unsuitable" Placements since he began High School is just too much Placing.   Too much shuffling him around, whether they call it Alternative Placement, Suspension, Expulsion... hardly matters anymore.   Labels... everything and everyone must have the Labels when there is a misfit to The System... and once you have a Negative Label, it's hard to live it down or not be shunned.  Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of Insanity after all!




He cried all the way Home, I messed up again Gramma, I'm so Sorry... it had only been four days between Incidents this time after all... and Meetings about whether he could stay or not.   You're UP then you're DOWN, it's an emotional rollercoaster, I feel Sick to my stomach a LOT... but we bought the ticket so we're on for the whole damned nauseating ride!  I held back my own tears, my own Fears about his Future being just that more restricted now, compromised and perhaps all the more complicated.   Where do the Seriously Mentally Ill transitioning into Adulthood go, where do they turn... to achieve Independence and sufficient Vocational Training or Assistance to thrive and contribute to Society... well, I guess I'm about to find out.  




In just a few Months he transitions into Adulthood anyway, so it's not as if we wouldn't have been heading in this direction in 2018 when he turned 18 this Summer.   Might as well Deal with it now, he would have Aged out of the School System anyway, so why waste three more years of Academic Failure in The System that is so poorly suited or adapted to Serve, or even adequately Manage and Supervise, the Seriously Mentally Ill Child?   We'd been at the Specialist the very same Morning, they couldn't figure out what's Internally Failing him either with the Serious Physical deterioration of Organs... so more Tests... the endless Tests to find a Cause and Solution.  He doesn't want any more Tests either, years of inconclusive results and constant Physical suffering have Overwhelmed him, when he's an Adult he can Legally decline them as well, that scares me too... a lot!




The Will to Live is often not particularly Strong within the Seriously Mentally Ill Community so he had to give me that Promise that he'd find something to Live for and not self-harm in his despair?   We talked about adapting and improvising with what we have left now... no point in discussing what you don't have or Wish you had... no point lamenting a Hand Dealt.   And in true Gallows Humor Style we looked at the Silver Lining of a very Dark Cloud looming over us... "Well, at least you don't have to get up so early anymore and drive to Beautiful Downtown Peoria in The Hood...", yeah, there's that... so I guess it ain't all Bad, huh... and we'll just be Supportive in you trying to do Better, Okay?  He nodded... he's resilient... he's one helluva Good and Smart Kiddo and I'll never, ever give up on him, no matter what anybody says is Hopeless enough that they have.




*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... even tho' it's pretty Dark under this Cloud right now... Dawn... The Bohemian

19 comments:

  1. Oh Dawn! Just when things were looking up.
    The part I take away is that he is soo bright. As we often say here in mental illness world, the very brain that got us in this mess is the same brain that will get us out.
    If I may take a leaf from my unschooling books, let him just relax and play for now. It sounds like his system is rebelling so hard at the moment, telling him things aren't right. Let him play and he will find a way through.
    Hugs, Jazzy Jack

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    1. Jack that's EXACTLY what we're doing! I am holding Space for him right now so he can allow his Great Mind to expand and realize all of the limitless possibilities, without negative Labels, that exist for him and will be the Path he takes to get himself out of the Mess and into Purpose. Thanks as always for the encouragement and point of reference that makes it so you have an understanding of exactly what we're going thru. Hug to you and the Kids.

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  2. Dear Dawn, you are an inspiration to so many out there with the same struggles you have. Honestly I don't know how you have the strength...I don't know if I could do it. You are a powerhouse of strength, persistence and patience. They are so lucky to have you. Hugs to you and I'll be seeing you next month at Sweet Salvage! ~Joyce Janes

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    1. Oh my Friend Thank You for the Sweet and Encouraging Words, he is absolutely Freed of the Constraints that have been holding him back now and I've never seen him look more Enthusiastic as in recent days where his endless possibilities and limitless thoughts can just expand and explode into whatever Wonderment he's going to Create as his Future... I think perhaps this was one of the Best things to come of such a Bad situation... God is Good that way...

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    1. I know, it was very tough, but we feel quite Freed of constraints now and the burden getting him thru School posed for a Unique Child such as himself... and as for himself, he's looking Radiant as he now explores a limitless Future for which he has enthusiasm and a load of Ideas... I'm Excited FOR him now.

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  4. I am sorry to hear of this, Dawn. The young prince and you deserve so much better. Prayers for you both.

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    1. Thank you Cynthia, he has been sequestering himself and brainstorming up in his room a Path forward, I've never seen him so Alive and Excited about his Future... he has been Freed of the constraints of Formal Education and I think his Abilities will now be limitless and without Negative Labeling.

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  5. Dawn, I'm so sorry that you have all these worries on your shoulders. Isn't there anyone else in the family that can help out? I'm thinking of you all, and sending peaceful, healing thoughts to you. Lots of cyber hugs. Blessings

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    1. Thank You Lesley for your Kind Words and Support... I'm giving him some Space right now and holding Space for him as he figures out his own Path forward, he's a Brilliant Kid and I'm Sure he's going to come up with something Unique and has an Entrepreneur Spirit!

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    1. Yes, we did... but how Liberated both of us now Feel actually makes me contemplate that perhaps for him, his Path will be forged in a more unique way than just having a Formal Education. I'm excited about how he'll Solve the problems he's now facing and go on to Great Things in his Future?!

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  7. My heart goes out to you and your family. You are a pillar of strength and I have admired you from the moment I met you. He will survive and conquer.

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  8. Oh! Oh! Oh! It hurts so bad I know!!! Sometime back when he was working with someone creative;y, where was that? As smart as he is- he can create his own job and become successful in it too!

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    1. You know, I've been thinking and contemplating that Marlynne... he and a Friend have already built one Website and Online Community, Great Like Minds always find one another and I have no doubts that he and others like him will be the next successful entrepreneurs we'll hear much about!

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  9. My heart aches for you both, and the entire system that can't provide what every child needs. As you say, adulthood is on the horizon---and that will be a new journey. May all his creative and intellectual energies now be directed into forging his own path, instead of trying to conform to what has been designated by others. Free of that---he will fly! Sincerely, Sandi

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    1. I am in Agreement Sandi, your Gift usually makes room for you if you follow your Purpose and what truly ignites Passion within you! Thank you for the encouraging Words, he's doing Well since we have been relieved of that great burden that was the formal educational system...

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  10. This breaks my heart. Our school systems are only set up for those whom they deem "normal". Neither of my children were able to make it through school and they've managed just fine without that piece of paper. Sure - it does make it a little harder, but eventually they discover their gift and their place in life.

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    1. I agree, Free Thinkers are not Celebrated in the Educational System, even though History has proven those tend to be the most Brilliant Minds that Invent so many of the things that have made Society all the more Convenient and Civilized. Thanks for the Positive Words, I am sure his Gifts will make room for him in Life.

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl