Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Alternative To The Alternative



The above photo is gleaned from the Archives of my Old High School during my High School Era... it's the Smoking Area... yeah, wrap your Mind around THAT... the School actually had a Smoking Area for the Students that Smoked back in da day in an American Military High School in Europe!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*   But hey, it was an Era where we also carried Ration Cards for such things as Cigarrettes and Booze, when you turned a certain age to qualify, which was by your Teens.  At the time both of my Parents Smoked so they used mine to get more rationed Ciggies... I've never Smoked so I had no Need of them... so whatever...   *LOL*  Mom eventually gave the nasty habit up, I was Proud of her... Dad went out of this Life puffing on Ciggies while being ON his Oxygen, which is the stuff of Classic Parody, we were just glad he didn't blow himself up!  *Smiles*




I premise this Post with that little Blast from the Past Story to drive Home the Fact that I come from a different Era and Time when it comes to Education and Accommodating the Student, whatever condition they showed up to School.  Certainly in my Era, which was the swinging Sixties and early Seventies, there were mos def some Hot Mess Students, it's not a new phenomenon.  But you'd almost think it is, judging by what I went thru with my own two Special Needs Children, now grown, and then still go thru after inheriting a couple more Special Needs Grandchildren to raise and try to get Educated and thru School!  The Note above is an actual Note the Detention Teacher once gave me that The Son wrote in Grade School as a Punishment.   It's hilarious and SO AUTHENTICALLY HIM and it always makes me Smile so I kept it!




The Son was a Hard Case in Grade School, and off and on even beyond... with the Bipolar, ADHD and Mildly Moderate Autism diagnosis they didn't quite know what to do with him either at the time... we muddled thru Grade School.  He actually introduced his Detention Teacher to us at Parent/Teacher Conferences in the Third Grade, he thought it was one of his Regular Classes since he went there every day... it was a first for her, being introduced to the Parents as a Regular Teacher and a Class he ENJOYED!  *LOL*  Things slowly got better as he Matured and Managed his condition better.  He was a Tenacious Kid that Mainstreamed in School and persevered into a Tenacious Adult despite significant Disabilities.  He stayed out of Prison and away from Gangs even tho' he grew up in The Hood in a rough part of Town where a lot of Kids ended up with a criminal record eventually... or dead.  He got bullied a lot as a Young Child, not so much as a Man who could kick ass and take names well, he's Fierce and a Force to be reckoned with.  *Smiles*  He's still Friends with Brody by the way... and Brody enjoyed looking at this Note again Online when we Shared it for a Laugh.  The Son always had more the F-You attitude about being told he'd be a Failure at Life due to a Lifetime Disability with no known Cure and coming from The Hood.  I like that about my Son, sometimes you do Need that F-You Moment in the fuckery that can be Life and a hand dealt.  I borrowed this Image and I Hope he won't Hate me for it... he was in Defiant Mode, Clearly... and probably not stable at the time, he's much Nicer than that.  *LMAO*





 The Son got kicked out of every Day Care in the West Valley, but managed not to get kicked out of School... he has often tried to Mentor his Nephew, knowing the ropes of what it is like to grow up with Serious Mental Illness as a Child and then into Full Blown Manhood.  He lets him know you can beat the Odds and be a Success in your chosen Career Field and not let the Social Stigmas or naysayers defeat or define you either.  The Young Prince is a particularly Hard Case, even more Challenging than his Mother and Uncle proved to be, which is saying A LOT, volumes in fact!  Because Academically they performed with excellence even tho' Mental Illness caused them both to be Behaviorally Challenged for their Educators, so it was always a Wild Ride.  I got used to great Grade point averages and impressive Report Cards, but the Comments section would be full due to questionable Behavioral outbursts as can be the case with Serious Mental Illness, regardless of whatever location the individual is in when The Crazy strikes.   The Prodigal Daughter ended up being a Dropout since Schools just couldn't handle her condition or the intense psychotic outbursts... The Son Graduated with Honors, which given his Challenges, was nothing short of Miraculous when I look back upon it!  I was once told I should Institutionalize him permanently, I didn't accept that Medical Suggestion by Professionals, I refused to share their vision for his Future being so grim and Hopeless.  It shows that both extremes of outcome ARE possible for the Student diagnosed with Serious Mental Illness, of which there is no Cure and Management of it, to this day, is 'iffy' at best.  It's like playing the odds in Vegas actually... you gotta be a Gambler to even get thru it Optimistically.... or a Hopeless Optimist... mebbe both.  Sometimes you Win, a lot of the time you Lose... and certainly the Odds are stacked against you, but you just keep Playing the Game to the best of your Abilities and tenaciously.




So, when I got The Call, just one day in to him returning to his Alternative High School after Winter Break, since Yesterday Day No. Two, he was Home Sick again with a Mental Health Day and rendered non-functional, I had a rather flat affect about it, at least over the phone my reaction was dulled.  The Principal made it rather clear they were Throwing in the Towel... hoisting up the White Flag... deciding that perhaps this wasn't the Right Placement for him... either... AGAIN... and let us have a Meeting about it Tomorrow Afternoon!!!   You know, the Meeting where once again we'll be discussing an Alternative to the Alternative!!!  *Le Sigh*  If I told you how many times I've had a similar Meeting at various Schools that felt it wasn't the Right Placement for him, you'd be flabbergasted, so I won't give statistics, let us just say I'm a Seasoned Veteran at it... and so is he!!!   The above Image is The Young Prince at 8th Grade Graduation from Jr. High School with his Dad at the Ceremony... so at least we got one Graduation under our belt... Miraculously!  That's my Inspiration and Encouragement actually, 8th Grade was not exactly a Stellar Year for him either... in fact I can't remember when School was for him and it just got harder as he got Older unfortunately and his Mental Illness worsened and intensified.  Certain Disabilities and Illnesses can be relentless and brutal like that, especially the Incurable ones.  I liked his hair like that... he's had some Extreme Hairstyles to go along with Extreme Moods... but hairstyles are temporary and you can fix and find Solutions for a bad one.




The Principal told me she hadn't pulled in The Young Prince to discuss it with him yet, she'd leave that up to me, Splendid!   Wise Woman, you really don't want him Flipping Out where you have to try to handle it without me, since you don't really HAVE to, he's not your Kid.   I don't blame her, I really don't want to have to break the Bad News and try to handle it {the reaction} either, but I've got loads of experience in handling when they go on The Crazy Train.  Plus, Legally now he IS my Kid, Post-Adoption, so apparently The System now Trusted me to handle it as a legit Parent... without a Posse of Caseworkers, now that I'm no longer labeled just a 'Volunteer' Kinship Placement.   Us 'Volunteer' Kinship Placement sorts are just handy, so it's like I now got a Promotion of sorts in raising The Force in the Eyes of The System and The Law.  And Good Luck with that Lady and we Hope it all Works Out!!??!?!?!?!  I'm so Honored... *Bwahahahahahaha!!!*




As if they Believe it actually will... you know, WORK OUT... and we all just Live Happily ever after like a Fairy Tale, because apparently that piece of Paper from the Adoption Courts is Magical and all.  Poof, Judge waves Magic Wand and sprinkles Fairie Dust over Family... and everyone was Magically Transformed!!!   *LMAO*   Well, it WAS a Special Moment for us all that took Fifteen long years to culminate, I ain't gonna lie, but Magical... not Quite.   Nobody was Transformed by said piece of Paper... well, stack of Papers... we left in the same Condition we all were in Pre-Adoption, sans a Posse of Caseworkers.  You're on your own now Baby, Good Luck with that and we Hope it all Works Out... only it's NOT... Working Out. 




 Nope, that would be an understatement... and since now he can't even take the Psyche Meds anymore, that devastated his Physical Health tremendously and was shutting vital Organs down, which we're STILL running damage control on, it's an even hairier Wild Ride.   But we bought the Ticket, so we're on for the whole Ride, so hang on and White Knuckle it around the Turn, while we have yet another Meeting to discuss the Alternative to the Alternative Tomorrow Afternoon at precisely 1:00 p.m. {cue in Twilight Zone Music or Chopin's Death March Music... whatever...}.   Yeah, I'm SO looking forward to said Meeting... said NOBODY EVER!!!   *Smiles*




 But we're always up for Battle in this Familia, since it is usually constant and a 'Given' in the Caregiver Game... insert pix of the Adorable DIL holding The Son's Gun which is damn near as big as she is and always makes me Smile.   I'm keeping with Dark Humor Gallow's Style Levity in this Dark Topic Post as much as possible!!!   She's a Fierce 'lil Ninja too and keeps The Son in line and is willing to take one for the Team... Thanks Solina, Mwah, Love You bunches!  *Smiling*  And Yeah, the Young Prince Flipped Out in the back seat of the vehicle when I broke the News, but it wasn't an Epic Meltdown, tho' he was heading in that direction for sure.  But only since by now MY affect was Pre-Apocalyptic, which might have tempered or trumped his affect I Suppose, so he managed to get a grip and not GO THERE with Gramma?!?!!!  The only thing worse than his meltdowns is my own... they're EPIC and LEGENDARY once I'm pushed over the edge my Friends!   No Brag, just Fact, it's not something I'm particularly Proud of when I can no longer keep it together and hold it down in Caregiver Mode and behave Robotically like The System expects you to.  You know, like a Human Caregiver Machine, that's becoming very Old, Overused and Worn Out now, so tends to break down every so often as Old Machines with too much mileage just do.




 I brought Grandpa along for morale support, rather under false pretenses of taking him out for Brunch at Cracker Barrel first... and Oh, by the way, lets swing by the School and pick him up, becoz shit, it's Time... and I have to break that News... and besides, I don't have Time now to drop you back off in the Boonies first so that you'll Miss the Show!  He didn't have time to react, so he was just involuntarily along for the Ride now.  *LOL*   And since we'd be taking that Show on the Road, which I sure as Hell wasn't doing on an empty stomach, I can only take so much physical torture all at once, a last Meal sounded Good... as Good as it probably does to someone on Death Row ready to be Offed!  *Winks*   Not that The Man did or said anything, he was without Words anymore... but his expression spoke a Thousand Words.  No, it was more for Stability of ME so I didn't do a Thelma and Louise on that ride Home.  Too Bad the Grand Canyon isn't Locally more Convenient... with Brad Pitt on a Stick in the back seat... but that's my Fantasy, I digress.   And NO, that's not a pix of The Man, it's one of my Brother I happen to Like and makes me Smile so I'm borrowing it for Levity purposes!  *LOL*




Besides, The Man would have never let me Photograph him on that tense and fateful ride Home after dropping the bombshell on The Young Prince that he could get kicked out of yet another School for what they deem as Inappropriate Placement for "a Kid like him".  *Rolling Eyes*  The Man really doesn't Cope well now with Brain Damage impairing his ability to process any Drama or enlist in finding Solutions... but him just BEING THERE is sometimes enough perceived Support for me, what can I say?  We were all probably Wishing we were on the New Year's Eve Pot Bus in Colorado to take the Edge off by then... or mebbe that was just me Wishing that?!?  *LMAO*  I'm not a Stoner but some Good Kush right then couldn't have hurt.  *Bwahahahaha!*   By the time we got Home The Young Prince was in Shark Eye Mode and stoic, pretty much Shut Down and very Angry.  He immediately went to Bed and will likely stay there... which he did all day Yesterday anyway, he Sleeps when he's having the Major Chronic Depression and extreme Anxiety, especially when News gets All Bad and he can't do anything much about it but get Angry.  It sounded like a Good Idea to me too, so I got back in my Jammies and took a five hour Nap myself, it had been an exhausting Morning, I Needed it.   I only woke up to drive to her School in my Pajamas and pick her up after Tutoring... which BTW she got pissy about going to anymore even tho' it's Helping her Grades and with the Learning Disability Thing, which leaves her miles behind her Peers in comprehending whatever she's Learning. 




  Can I just go every other Wednesday she implored, so people won't think I'm totally Stupid?   What, you only want to be thought of as half Stupid I responded IN MY HEAD.  No, folks , I resisted actually saying it, tho' it be Tempting since I use inappropriate Gallows Humor for levity when I actually would rather Cry as my Heart is being ripped from my Chest!   You're NOT Stupid I actually said, in fact, you're very Smart, you just Learn differently so you NEED Tutoring so you can get those Good Grades Mija and not have the Drama your Big Brother has in School, you want that, right, to go to Regular Schools?  {She does, it's her greatest Fear to have the 10 Miles of Bad Road Academically he's had!}  She stomped into the house Angrily, Horns clearly sprouting out of her Head now as she turned on a dime Mood-wise and I became part of the Problem rather than part of the Solution... clearly someone had Teased her about being Special Ed again.  Clearly when you're a Tween being Accepted is way more important than pulling down those Good Grades all the Adults are so concerned about... she'd rather Fail and be Popular and NOT Different than anyone else, I Get It.  She Calmed down after Grandpa soothed her Mood with comedic banter and the Horns retracted back into her Head. *Winks*




The Young Prince later came down without the Shark Eyes, he was more lucid again, and showed me an Awesome Website he Designed in three hours!!!  It's REALLY Good, Professional Grade Website he's set up for a Gaming Club he's establishing online.  It was EASY for him, he did it with no formal training, he can figure out the most complex things on his own, his Brain is just one of those Beautiful Mind types that teeters between the precarious extremes of Genius and Insanity.   I know the focus, the raw Talent and the much higher than average Intelligence is there... that's what breaks my Heart all the more when he Fails time and time again and is rejected or Given Up on by Educators.  How do we tap into that in School so he can Succeed at School and get that Diploma? So that he CAN go on to bigger and greater things and be taken Seriously in the Work Force... and have him Accepted for his Higher Educational Goals and not rejected by EVERY School?   The Solution to that Problem eludes us for now... but we'll continue to Fight the Good Fight in Faith... starting Tomorrow at that dreaded Meeting.  But for now, The Young Prince is cooking Dinner for us... he's got considerable Talent and Passion for the Culinary Arts too.  So we quickly regroup and Move On... you have to roll with the punches Life hits you upside the Head with and go the distance in numerous Rounds if you want that Victory bad enough... and never on an empty stomach!  *Winks*  Now excuse me while I go clean up that Kitchen... ha ha ha.

*******
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

2 comments:

  1. Wishing for a good outcome tomorrow and for sustained strength and beauty to get you through until you get it. Your heart and heroism is mighty - as is your family's. You will get there.

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    Replies
    1. Thank You for the Encouraging Words and Yes, the Outcome was Good and much better than we could have expected, sigh of relief for sure!

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