Friday, December 1, 2017

Good News... Bad News... Ain't That The Way It Always Goes?

So, the Good News first... the Good VA Advocate, who we had five years ago and were Blessed to have Help us again now, came thru once again and arranged The Man a Private Consult and Class with me along to obtain his CPAP Machine finally!  *Happy Dance!*  Since he didn't have to go alone or sit in a two hour Class with about twenty other Veterans trying to learn something he wouldn't remember at all anyway, he could handle it and not have full blown Anxiety.  She arranged it AFTER I already had The Young Prince picked up from School, so that alleviated that "being in two places at one time" dilemma too for Yours Truly!  Not to mention that instead of enduring two hours, it took less than fifteen minutes, no kidding, in and out while receiving Instructions that were helpful and easy to remember!  *Yay and Whew!*

Now, I've got to get him to actually USE it with consistency, and not freak out the first time and refuse to use it at all, but we're taking baby steps.  Just putting the mask on him for short increments so he gets used to it without panicking and ripping it off!   After all the hoops jumped thru to get it I've sternly told him he has to TRY to use it, otherwise all we went thru to obtain it was a complete waste of my time and energy, both in short supply right now.  I know, Guilting is an Old Mom's Trick to obtain Compliance, but hey, if it Works I Work it my Friends!  *Winks*   He does not like said Machine and he does look rather like he's working for NASA and going to the Moon or something with all the headgear on... so I was concerned and having all body parts crossed when they were doing the fitting, thinking that perhaps he'd completely resist!?  *LOL*

I guess I should have Googled full face headgear to better Prepare him for what they were going to strap on him and expect him to sleep while wearing, huh?  *LOL*   Hannibal Lecter's Mask wasn't as constricting as this thing is, I had Imagined it would be a lot less... involved!?  *Uh Oh!!!*   It didn't help too much that both of the Aides fitting him suggested that perhaps if we shaved ALL of his Beard off they'd get a better fit with no leaks!  OMG, didn't ya'll notice he'd worn his Duck Dynasty Shirt saying FAITH, FAMILY, FACIAL HAIR on Purpose so you wouldn't dare to suggest such a thing?!?!??!?!  *Bwahahahahahaha!!!*  I assured him that nobody was going to involuntarily shave him... he relaxed and went thru the rest of the fitting.  I told them if they didn't have any issues with a slight leak at the bottom, under his mouth where his Beard is thickest, I didn't either.

He left Happy that he didn't have to be clean shaven and that we could get used to the Machine slowly, since the TBI he doesn't like anything sprung on him quickly that involves changes in his Sacred Routine.  I'm just Happy we finally got the damned thing and that's now one less headache behind me and one less battle to wage.   So... I was feeling quite smug with a Victory and so I suppose it was inevitable that something else would quickly crop up involving The Young Prince and School again!  *Le Sigh*   Thus the Bad News... and only a mere Week since his Pediatrician and I had filled out the 'necessary' required paperwork the Alternative School had buried us in about his Chronic Illness being formally documented yet again, lest they threaten to drop him for excessive absences!  *Le Sigh*

So here we are walking the Tightrope again doing the Dance and trying not to fall off... and he doesn't want me to Blog about it {LOL} so lets just suffice to say that Alternative School is probably not working out anymore and their comfort level with an unmedicated Child with SMI is waning.   So almost any solution we come up with to solve one problem to keep him in School, is dovetailed with a new problem and excuse that threatens to have him dropped, Suspended, whatever... and The Calls are just exasperating me now.  It's not my first rodeo of him being passed around with the excuses he's not a good fit... which is PC talk for your kid is a Misfit and we don't wanna Deal with it, so we eventually won't and then it will be your problem to find replacement Educational opportunities.  I asked him if we could just get thru Christmas, since Winter Break is coming up quickly anyway... and then we can revisit this Headache of trying to get him an Education?!

It's very complicated in so many ways I won't discuss, since I Promised him I wouldn't Blog about it and here I am... Blogging about it somewhat vaguely, just so I won't implode from the blindsided Stress it caused this Afternoon when I got The Dreaded Call.  *LOL*   I was IN the Parking Lot waiting to pick him up you see, and they snuck The Call in AS the Students were filing out the doors, probably so I wouldn't have time to go in there in person!   I've been Avoided before on the Face to Face thang... so I'm on to the tactics of Avoidance of The Problem Parent who fiercely Advocates for their Disabled Child labeled as a Problem Child.  Simply because nobody can or wants to deal with said Special Needs associated with Serious Illness or Disability if they don't HAVE to... and that's REALLY The Problem, not the Child or the Parent and Family! 

 But I COULD become a real pain in the ass Problem if I get wound up enough and so I didn't even go in, since the Mama Tiger in me wasn't buying said 'Story' Admin was spinning, it just didn't line up nor ring completely True.  So, I wanted to hear his side of the Story... because there are always three sides to any Story... His Side, Her Side and The Truth.  And it was such a Glorious Day too, mid 80's and absolutely Gorgeous, I was reveling in it completely and about to relax and actually ENJOY the Holidays and the Weekend before the shit hit the fan again... dammit!  *LMAO*   So he told me his side and version of what happened, many bullet points were similar so I was getting the gist of things and how they had gone so badly awry.  All the while thinking I am so tired of this shit and Drama... I just want it all to be OVER... and... does that somehow make me suck as a Parent... or just too Old to do this anymore as a Grandparent trying to raise another Generation?

 I didn't completely fault him in his response either, some "Responsible" Adult behaviors had been questionable at best and the Motives unclear.   A lot of Why would an Adult even do that were circulating in my Head but I kept that to myself as he relayed what had wound him up so tightly and defensively.  I am ALWAYS completely Amazed at Adult Bullying, especially if towards a Child and most especially towards an even more vulnerable Child who is fragile...when that is a known fact.  I also know that an Adult who does something out of order will often attempt to vilify the Child, thinking you will ALWAYS believe an Adult over a Child... which I don't... being over the age of 18 does not unequivocally make one MORE Believable, Innocent or Honest.

But anyway, enough of that... we'll get thru Christmas and then we'll revisit our Options or lack thereof, so that I can Hopefully Enjoy a Nice Holiday without fixating upon nor stressing about Schooling AGAIN!  *Le Sigh*   He'll also have an entire Weekend to Calm Down and not feel so Hopeless and unwelcome in yet another Educational Environment that just isn't working out and is instead stressing him out and worsening his chronic depression.  The reasons hardly matter really, moot point, you just don't stay where you're not really Welcome or Accepted... you move on... even if that means you seem constantly on the move trying to find the right fit and your place.  Until then I'll just hold Space for him here, where he is unconditionally Accepted, Loved and Valued as he is... and it's not 'conditional' upon him being Well nor Cured of what ails him and makes some uncomfortable or intolerant.   So, a bit of Good... a bit of Bad... that's just kinda the Balance that is Life, isn't it?


Blessings, Love and Peace coming to you from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Happy to hear the CPAP Machine finally worked out. My heart aches for the Young Prince, though. Does Arizona have an online homeschooling option?

    1. We're thinking upon the total Online Learning experience.

  2. Yay re CPAP! My hubby has found it brilliant...even life changing! He has a full beard. They threatened him with shaving and the kids were up in arms 😀 We have had good results with a " nose pillow". A mask that just fits over his nose.
    So sad to hear about your school issues again, just as he was getting A's!
    We TOTALLY understand. Tell him from me that although you didn't spill the beans, I think he is pretty darn special just as he is, and I am always so impressed with the way he supports you.
    Then tell him to give you a hug from me! ( If he is comfortable with that.)
    Xo Jazzy Jack

    1. Thank You my Friend for the Positive input. Both about using a CPAP and about The Young Prince. I know, he was just now beginning to get the grades I always knew him to be capable of and now the trifling begins with a particular Teacher and complaints from Families about this individual are falling on deaf ears... so I have to wonder Why?

  3. Shoot. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to high school. Sorry it's been so stressful for both of you.

    Those deer in dresses are fantastic. I like how you composed her with the antler in the second picture. Do you know where the sheds in the previous photo came from? Nice matching set (so fun to find them both when it happens!) They're way fatter than the mule deer antlers we find around here and a neat shape.

  4. That is quite a lot to deal with. It's great news about the CPAP but that is some disconcerting crap about the school of the young prince. I'm hoping and praying that you are able to figure out a strategy to navigate this next obstacle in the path. And please take care of yourself in the meanwhile. The stress of the situation has to be really taxing. You have the strength to get through it but you need the rest to maintain your strength.
    In the meantime I hope there are small moments of beauty to keep your spirits strong.


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl