Monday, July 24, 2017

Sweet Salvage ~ Where In The World Finale'



So you might have been thinking, what in the Hell was up with the previous Wordless Post GF?!  Because I usually have a lot to say even when words aren't necessary.  *Winks*




And you'd be right, it was totally out of character for me, even tho' I have had the rare Wordless Post on my Blog before.  And I'll explain now, AFTER I tell you how in Love I was with the Fabulous Kilim covered Love Seat above! *Smiles*




You see, I had to make the executive decision to cancel our Vacation travel plans practically at the 11th hour.  I decided shit, I can't take this Show on the Road!!!  And so I was disappointed, because I so looked forward to and Needed the respite of a True Vacay lemme tell ya!




But I'd had anxiety all along about making said Road Trip Plans, something just never felt Right about it on the inside and I tried to ignore that nagging anxious feeling that persisted.  I tried to override it, which is always a mistake, my internal Red Flags usually serve me Well and not heeding them is usually disastrous!




So tho' I had tried not to heed all the little subtle nuances, it just took a slap upside the head of harsh Reality to bring me back to my senses.  There can be no denial or delusional Fantasy thinking when you get that bitch slap upside the head about your particular situation just being what it is, you know?




The Young Prince had a Female Young Adult lifelong Friend over for the Weekend and The Son brought The Daughter-In-Law over since he was helping me with some much deferred Yard Maintenance and Tree Trimming.  So we had extra people in da house, which disrupts The Man's Routine.




Lemme tell ya something about those suffering from Traumatic Brain Injury my Friends, their Routine is very crucial to their overall function or lack thereof.  The Sanitized versions on the TV commercials of those with TBI, Dementia or other brain related challenges do not show the ugly Truths about day to day living with it.




They will not show the epic meltdowns that can happen when Routine is disrupted or the Anxiety and Panic Attacks set in with any situation uncomfortable to them.  If they are not in their 'Safe Place' where their comfort zone is things can go Left real fast and they can start losing it.




By losing it I mean things can become beyond difficult, chaotic, tense, unmangeable and unpredictable in a heartbeat.  Panic, Anger, Tantrums, outright resistance, inability to be reasoned with... yep, acceptable behavior, it all flies out the window once they are not having Fun any more.  Those in their presence must adapt and improvise on the fly to preserve any shred of Dignity you Hope to remain intact, and maintain a semblance of Control over the situation, especially in a Social or Public setting!




If you think having a brain injured or emotionally unstable Child is difficult, try the Man Sized version, a big Ole' Strong Man Sized version that has suddenly unraveled!  Now I don't intimidate easily and I think fast on my feet, and I'm a pretty scrappy Ole' Gal who can navigate her way around even an epic crisis. Since we have so many, and avert it to some degree with clever tactics honed over years of experience.  But that doesn't mean it still doesn't give me extreme Anxiety and frustration when it's happening in the Moment!




Especially when The Plan was to have Fun and some Special Family Time or Socializing in the Real World.  You know, where Normal people live and keep it together most of the time without incident.  *LOL*  We like to have the Appearance at least of being this Normal Regular Family just out having a Good Time, even with our dysfunctional Crew!   Sometimes we can even pull it off. *LMAO*




This however was NOT to be one of those times!  That's an understatement... it was in fact my bitch slap upside the head Moment of Clarity about why a spontaneous 16 hour road trip to Cali and the Beach for 3 long days with The Man and The G-Kid Force was an Insane Idea to even remotely consider!   What WAS I thinking?   I mean we couldn't even get thru a Family gathering Luncheon at a Buffet just down the road for Heavens sake!  And I had backup there of The Son and his Lady!!!  So lemme tell ya how it went... since I know you're dying to know...




In the re-telling it is prime Gallows Humor hilarious, in The Moment it was an Oh Shit experience that I just wanted to promptly forget.  Only you can't, it lingers and nags on your brain like a gnawing Rat.  So I stayed upset all day and had to make the difficult decision to cancel the Vacay Plans, which went over like a lead balloon initially... sorta... well, I'll elaborate on that too.




And I didn't Feel much like Blogging or talking about it so thus the Wordless Post, followed by an epic Nap since I was emotionally exhausted and physically drained by the time we got back Home after the Fiasco Luncheon.  And got The Young Prince's Friend back Home prematurely coz she wasn't staying that extra day now, The Son and DIL bailed coz, well, I don't blame any of them, I'd of left Home too if I could have!  *Ha ha ha*




It started out fairly Well, as it sometimes does, even with the Sensory Overload of more people in the house and a Young Adult Sleeping over, The Man seemed Okay with the Luncheon at a Fav Asian World Buffet with our Party of Seven.  He even started out Enjoying his Meal, but then the switch flipped... as did he... and suddenly we weren't having Fun anymore!   All the signs were there it was heading in that direction, so I had an Uh-Oh how can I now gather up Seven people who aren't even finished eating quickly and get us out the door?!?




You see, Young People will be Young People and there was some Fear Factor Foods there that my Cambodian DIL Loves and so she and the Kiddos were discussing trying some.   She had Pig Ears and Baby Octopus and Lord knows what else on her plate and The Young Prince and his Lovely Lady Friend were Game for trying any of it to see if they Liked it.  Only the Young Prince could NOT resist teasing his Little Sister with it!  *Le Sigh, yeah, you can clearly see where this heads...*




Look, The Baby Octopus {Yes, it was whole} is Smiling at you... and he positions it's Face in her direction... insert squealing and 11 year old exaggerated Female Drama ensuing, followed by much laughter by the Older Ones!   The Man starts fidgeting considerably, rumbling like a Volcano ready to do a Mt. St. Helens... Okay Guys, that's enough I Calmly says and insert The Look.  But it's not like they can Stop just like that... because, oh, did I forgot to add that ALL Young People at the table are Special Needs Kiddos, including The Friend?  So we have a Mental Health smorgasbord of peeps at the table.




And tho' I felt they were behaving admirably given their particular sets of personal Challenges, and like The Son later said, for being THEM it was going quite Well actually... The Man was now becoming quite agitated and all the Adults at the Table sensed it.   Time to go I says, Grandpa is Done and Needs to go Home... they know The Cue and The Drill, even The Friend, whose known us forever.




Everyone isn't finished eating but they are obediently shoving Sticky Buns and Egg Rolls in their pockets and purses to Exit State Left before we have a full blown Situation and perhaps are never invited back to Fav Restaurant again!?  *Winks*   Yeah, to us this type of Drill is The Norm and sadly, nobody in our Group thought it the least bit odd to be shoving food in pockets and purses to leave hastily and before we're even finished eating a Meal that has cost me a hundred bucks for a Party of Seven!




This is also why we rarely have Family Gatherings or Social Outings with Groups or even Dinner Parties at the House anymore.   When things go downhill, well, it's just best to throw in the towel and call it a day.   We had to stop by a Bank before we got Home and The Man was refusing to get out of the Truck, I'll sit in here he stubbornly insisted.  It's 111 degrees and humid in the shade I says, you can't sit in the vehicle, you have to be brought inside, it's unsafe!




Tho' it was tempting to just Fantasize about leaving him be, and say later, I'm Sorry Officer, yeah we left Granpa in the Truck coz we were all so damned Over It...   Rather than go thru the Drama of getting him out of said vehicle when he's being uncooperative and unlovely, under much protest we got him out and sitting on a bench in front of the Bank in the shade with Princess T Guarding him from Wandering off.  While I take the rest of the entourage inside to get our transaction completed Stat.




The Son isn't Well right now so I didn't want the added strain of seeing his Dad like he can be when he has his meltdowns, I know it makes him Worry for me Coping.   I've had Caregiver Burnout before and it's always one of those possibilities that lingers anytime you're a Full Time Caregiver with few, if any, respites or backup like The Cavalry at your disposal... or Staff!  *Bwahahaha!*




Yeah, Staff would be Nice... can I put in that Request for Staff with 45 and his Cronies while they're adapting The Health Care Reform they're proposing for us Little People Caring for the most vulnerable of Society who are such a burden to Society?  I'm being facetious of coarse, I'm just Hoping we don't get our Health Care and current benefits eroded further or flat taken away when you have three peeps in your Care with significant Health and Mental Health Needs!?  But I don't even like to think about all that potential Drama... got enuf playing out in Real Time even when those I Care for are not needing Hospitalization or Appointments!




The Son called me later and apologized for not coming back to the House... The Young Prince's Friend did the same as I dropped her off a day earlier than originally Planned... everyone was very Understanding and Concerned.   It's uncomfortable, it makes folks feel quite powerless when something is out of their Control, like serious illnesses and disabilities that manifest into Hard Knocks Life.   Things that make it sometimes not a Wise Idea to try to go on a Family Vacation, no matter how much you Need or Want one.




So we'll just adapt and improvise, as we've become Expert at doing, and just Dream Up something Simple and Local.  Since once The Man was back Home his Calm was restored and all was right with the World again for him.  He was in his Safe Place and I realize the bigger picture is that we all have a level of Comfort and Peace about whatever it is we attempt to do with or for each other.  It will Work Out, not as initially Planned... but just a Different Kind Of Adventure.




And as it turns out The Young Prince had been Anxious about us trying to do The Family Vacation thing on the Road for days and without sufficient backup for me, so he had considered staying Home if we went.   And Princess T had felt the Ocean was too dangerous for Swimming so she has more of a Peace about finding a nice Public Pool or Water Park anyway.  Their Anxieties are justified and duly considered... actually my own Anxiety now has subsided considerably now the Family Vacay thing is off the table and squashed.




Besides, it's easier to recount the cancellation of it than to recount The Vacation Road Trip from Hell later on, right?  *Winks*  Easier to get over the disappointment of not going at all than to go and be regretful because it turned out to be an utter Failure... and nobody had Fun yet spent a Fortune in the doing of the Misery Trip from Hell as we'd later call it!  *LOL*




*******

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The
Bohemian

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