Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Acceptance Or Rejection?

I'm up at a rather ridiculous hour writing this as Today is the day I'll be taking The Young Prince to the Charter School for the Acceptance Meeting to enroll.  Not knowing whether your Mentally Ill Loved One will be Accepted or Rejected by Society or any Organization that regular members of Society can just go to is always an Emotionally Charged situation you internalize even if you remain Cool, Calm and Collected on the exterior.   Especially if the Child is in the room with you being Assessed for whether yet another School or Organization is a 'suitable' placement or not!?  I always tend to go into Mama Bear protective mode and be on the defensive myself during such Meetings as we seem to have to always endure just to get him his Legal Right to an Education!!!   I resent it in fact, very much so.  Though the Law is allegedly on our side, there's lots of ways to skirt the Law you know or not be in compliance.   Especially in situations like this where a Special Needs Child is involved... just having a Right doesn't mean you will receive it without a knock down drag out fight and meeting with The Resistance!

I don't think any Human Being likes to be told everything that is wrong with them or hear others talking about it in front of them.  Without exception it puts a person on the defensive and in a vulnerable and awkward position.  Most people with a Serious Mental Illness don't even like to disclose their Medical Diagnosis, knowing the biases by Society that rampantly exist and play out every day against them.  So we've never much liked these Acceptance or Rejection situations no matter if it's regarding School placement or any other kind of Social Situation he wants or needs to be a part of or has a Legal Right to.   After all, don't we all want to be Accepted and not Rejected by 'Others'... don't we NOT want to feel like such an Outcast or Outsider of Society that there are no 'Others' and we're actually part of the Whole?!

Not that every person with Serious Mental Illness stands out like a sore thumb, in fact, it can be one of the more hidden of Disabilities that is not so readily apparent or even understood.   One would think that would be a Good thing, but often it is not, it is not because there is the Illusion of being Inclusive and 'Passing', so to speak, as a 'Normal Person' not afflicted by the Disability that is so very limiting, excluding and life altering at times.   There is very little tolerance in our Society for the Mentally Ill and they are often vilified and sometimes feared or discriminated against by many of the 'Others'.   So when you have to Reveal the Disability and be Open about having it, well, it's like playing Russian Roulette... will you take a bullet or not this time?   What part of it will be used against you like you've committed some Crime just by nature of having a Disability so misunderstood and without a Cure or way of being successfully managed at all times by any Medical Regimen? 

Will the old Prejudices be surfaced and held against them yet again?   You see, when it comes to Mental Illness few even care to be PC about it and not show their disdain, fears, concerns or intolerance.   Many will even discuss it openly with you, as if somehow you will just 'understand' that it's perfectly Okay then to reject the individual... you know, for the sake of all the 'Others'.  Nobody much wants to take that chance and so to err on the side of Caution, there is very often blanket exclusion.  One would think that you were asking them to Accept a well known Serial Killer into their midst, because there is always that fear that the individual might be an ever present danger to 'Others'. 

  And the insidious thing about Mental Illness is that, yes, on occasion the individual's behavioral patterns can manifest into situations where there can be danger to Self and 'Others'.  So you cannot say without a reasonable doubt that No, your Loved one will be lucid at all times and there will never, ever be a 'situation' unfold.   I mean we've all seen it splashed across our TV Screens and in the News haven't we, where someone with a 'History' of Mental Illness has gone off the deep end and done something incomprehensible!?   But, in all fairness, haven't other segments of Society done the same thing, committed Crimes without having any Mental Health diagnosis?  Yes, yes they have, all the time actually and probably even more frequently than the Mentally Ill members of Society.  But nobody wants to bring up percentiles of ALL Crimes and make accurate comparisons.

Like all Prejudices that exist and lump all people of a certain group into one tidy little whole and negatively Label them to justify the Prejudices against them, it's just easier to say they ALL are a certain kinda way, huh?   As if they ALL are one individual rather than a huge group of individuals with a wide range of being all kinds of different ways in Reality.   But when you're being biased or exclusive, Truths like that don't really matter.  They don't matter because your bias or fears exist and thus the fabrications you've justified to exclude and have a Prejudice are rational in your own mind.   You might even feel Safer by making sure you never, ever have to Deal with certain individuals of Society or protect the 'Others' from them too... you know, just in case... so it's Okay to cast them out and deny them undeniable Rights every Human Being should have!

Where is the Humanity in all of this, well, usually absent, or at the very least not so broad as it is for the 'Acceptables' of Society, whoever 'they' may be?  So, The Young Prince has been a bundle of nerves and felt very Sick over this long Weekend and tried to distract himself with activity so as not to have to think much about this New Meeting he has to endure.  I mean it was only a couple weeks ago we had the last one and it seemed to have gone so Well and then they all changed their minds on a dime... again... and want to suddenly cast him out of their midst!  He's no longer Welcome and nothing has really changed to warrant that change of Heart, so there is no feeling of Stability at any Educational Institution for him.  They go thru the Motions of Fair Hearings and IEP accommodations to be in semi-compliance with The Law, giving false Hope, but it's all such a farce really, the Prejudices still exist and play out rather openly.

   So he's not so keen on being Interviewed yet again by some Adult(s) in Charge of yet another type of School who will Assess him and hold his fate in their hands.  Judging him not really so much by his Academic Abilities or Intelligence, since that's not even in question.  He's been identified and documented as highly Intelligent and Gifted with a Genius I.Q., which is rather ironic since he seemingly cannot Succeed or be reached in School due to the barriers of his distinct Disability.  Or the inability of Teachers not suitably even trained to Educate the Mentally Ill Student, so failing at being able to teach or reach him... and yet he bears the full brunt of being Labeled the failure of the situation at hand.  Yes they tried... and failed... yes he tried... and failed too... so it's all rather jacked up and nobody has solutions and is left with more questions than answers.   And I sure as Hell don't have the Magic Wand, they kinda expect you to tho' if you're the Caregiver.  As if you've figured it all out and can wave it over the situation and poof it will Magically disappear and everyone's Life will thus be made easier!  *LMAO at the absurdity of that fallacy and Fantasy!!!*

  No... but exclusively he's being Judged on his Disability as a person diagnosed with Serious Mental Illness, that's exactly what is being Judged here and everybody knows it tho' nobody wants to acknowledge it either since that would be against the Law!   But, he's someone who is required by Law to receive an Education but is often denied the ability to receive one in any kind of typical setting that would actually give him a legitimate one and not just Warehouse him.   One that would make it a level playing field once he gets out into Society to earn his Living, which will be expected of him.  Otherwise he'd be one of those, you know, burdens to Society everyone likes to talk about and Judge even harsher because it's on Society's dime!   It's really a Pay Now or Pay Later scenario tho' isn't it?   Investing in a Child is always rather a crap shoot even if they have no Illness at all actually, worth it tho' in my humble Opinion, every Child is worth it!  But, nobody can really say whether or not that Investment will pay off or have been in vain, since every Child will grow up and their Outcome and contribution to Society is a Question Mark in actuality.

Because, how many regular Students have gone on to be successful contributing members of Society and how many have been failures or gone astray and burdened Society?  Quite a few of each camp I would say overall if we're gonna crunch the numbers and be fair about it.  But fair is rare and we all know that Truth now too, don't we?  If we've lived long enough we know that Life ain't fair or bras wouldn't come in sizes and all that!   And so I resent that my Grandchild is unfairly Judged as not being worth the Investment simply because of a Medical Diagnosis that does NOT instantly make him a Failure nor a Success.  Just like everyone else his Future and his contributions to Society are an Unknown right now, we cannot say with any degree of certainty.  

Unless you profess to be a Psychic Medium and know all things... for sure.  And how many legit of those are among us?   Right... so, whether or not the Investment in The Young Prince to receive his Education is going to pay off or be in vain is just as unpredictable as ANY OTHER CHILD receiving their Education actually... no real Guarantee.  They don't come with a Warranty and so what we Invest in any Generation has no Guarantees, but we have to Trust and have Faith that Investing in them ALL is worth it.   Because NOT Investing in them will surely have consequences that will not play out so well, that I can Guarantee you.  So, Pay now or Pay later... we'll just have to see I Guess which option is chosen here?   But rest assured, it won't come at NO Cost to Society and you don't have to possess any Psychic abilities to figure that one out my Friends.

FOOTNOTE LATER IN THE DAY: Things couldn't have gone worse... and really I'm not ready to talk about it, even in a Rant, so for now we'll just sit with our Reality and our Feelings about it all being so FUBAR.

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian 


  1. You are a warrior and I hope everything went well for you and The Prince today.

    1. Thank you for the Kind words of Encouragement, I know that I added the Later Footnote after your visit... as to results... and so, alas here it is: FOOTNOTE LATER IN THE DAY: Things couldn't have gone worse... and really I'm not ready to talk about it, even in a Rant, so for now we'll just sit with our Reality and our Feelings about it all being so FUBAR. Not the results we had hoped for and now he is in utter despair... I have no Words at the moment and my feelings are too Raw to write about any of it for now. Thanks for always being a supportive Blog Friend... Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. I wish I could understand.
    I can't imagine his/your frustration/despair.

  3. I am so very sorry for your disappointment! God understands and knows the answer even though we don't!!


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl