Sunday, November 6, 2016

Back To The Fluff Of Life



I know I've been in a Deep Funk and Dark Place, due to recent profound Loss and struggling with declining Health, and that's Uncomfortable even in the Sharing of the Heart of it when you're Going Thru anything so deeply Personal.  So back to the Fluff of Life for a Blog Post, which is always more Comfortable to Share isn't it?  There's never any flashback from the Fluff, it can be a Happy Place for one and all to Experience... which the Yucky Stuff definitely is NOT!  Mired in Yucky Stuff lately has been very difficult indeed!




I've been trying to Transition the Decor of Autumn to more of a Thanksgiving Harvest Style Vibe without doing too much extra Work to take away what we had for Halloween and Dia de los Muertos Celebrations beforehand.  It's handy that the Autumn Vibe and Color Palette suits all those Holidays well enough to blend them and not start over with the Decorating or Styling of it completely. I haven't felt Well enough to really Re-Style our Home for upcoming Holidays lately.





On purpose I Photographed my European Demijohn Lovelies at Night because tho' much more Enchanting with the Sun shining thru them and showcasing their Beautiful Coloration and Prism effect, it's just too bright to get good Images during the Day.  The Art of Photography is still an Experiment for me with the New better quality Camera my Sweet Friend Michelle so generously Gifted me with.   At Night they are still quite Lovely, I Love the Simplicity of their Form and Function.




 I found these Wonderful combination of unidentified Natural Seed Pod Cones with faux stem and leaves 80% Off, as the Craft Shops switched from Autumn to Winter Floral and Greenery for the Christmas Season.  I'd been looking for Natural Elements to pop into the Demijohns so they'd look like enormous Vases and these were Ideal along with the faux feathery Ferns I'd already found for one Demijohn.  I'm just not Into matchy-matchy, so I wanted at least two types of Natural accents that weren't Flowers for my three mid-sized Demijohns.




Though I had massive amounts of German Glitter for intended Projects I haven't yet Glitterized anything, because I'm rather partial to the Glitter visually looking so Pretty in their containers actually.   At least for now their Packaging is Appealing to me more than Glittering the Hell out of my Holiday Projects I probably won't get around to this year anyway!  *Smiles*  I'm not really "On" Creatively either so I'm refraining from Creativity for the time being.




I'm much more inclined to be Dreaming Up ways to fund the Holiday outlay for all of the Grandchildren we have.  To whom many is given, much is required!  *LOL*  We are Blessed with an abundance of Grandchildren and even the Grown Ones will expect a Lil Somethin-Somethin from Grandpa and Gramma.  It would be so Nice one day to be able to spend a Holiday with those that live out of the State and out of the Country... it's on our 'Bucket List' of Hopefuls.




What's on YOUR 'Bucket Lists' of Hopefuls my Friends, you know, things you really would Desire to do before you croak?   I think our List is so extensive it is very unlikely we'll do most of them, if any of them actually.  But we tenaciously keep The List because you just never know and it gives us something to look forward to doing one day whenever it might be remotely possible?!  I think a good 'Bucket List' actually assists you in seeing your Desires laid out before you... even if they be lofty ones that might not be actually attainable.




I want to get around to dying more Seam Binding... there's just something about Seam Binding that I have a complete infatuation with.  A Simple thing that just makes me Happy to drape around things and use for Projects.  I like the Texture and the versatility of it and that it's an inexpensive indulgence to stock up on and Play with... especially with Dyes!  Is anyone else a Fanatical Dye anything and everything you can Type of Person?  *Smiles*




It is rather Interesting to contemplate the Quirky Things we are strongly Attracted to sometimes for whatever Mysterious reason that we are.  I just Love Old Vintage Millinery, it's one of the little Collections I'd never part with even tho' it's not necessarily a Valuable Collection, it's Priceless to me.  To give up a piece of it would be difficult since it has taken me so long to procure what I have managed to Collect over the years.   I also use it everywhere and anywhere!




My Fluff of Life I suppose is a Comforting Cocoon to surround ourselves with that has enduring Beauty and imparts a warm fuzzy Feeling even during those time when Life gets complicated or difficult.   I think that is also why the Fluff Of Life Posts are always the most Popular ones, peeps Connect to the warm fuzzies because it just Feels Good and is so Pleasant.   So much is Unpleasant nowadays I think we desperately all Need and Desire more Pleasantries to get us thru our days, especially the more Challenging ones.




I try to balance my Blog with the frivolous and the serious because I now have Visitors.  I Confess that when I first began Blogging I did it entirely for Selfish reasons just for myself and really Journaled more as if nobody was looking. Considering no-one or their opinions about Topics I felt a Need to Blog about, now I do attempt to strike an appropriate balance while still doing it for myself primarily. 




 It's kinda like if you get Visitors or not in your own Home really, allowing People IN means you have to consider the Guest as well as yourself during the Sharing of a part of your Life.   And depending upon the Guest is dependent upon what can or should be Shared mutually.  Only I never know whose Showing Up here, so it's more a spontaneous Surprise Visit after you've opened the Door to allow anyone in.  *LOL*




I chose not to make mine a Biz Blog from the beginning, I don't get paid to do this, not a Penny.  Since it's not Monetized and I have no Sponsors or accountability to anyone in particular, I Feel at Liberty to just do my own thing here on my own time and whatever is relevant to me Personally in the Moment.  Whether it be frivolous or quite serious a Topic, Promoting something or someone I thoroughly Enjoy, I never really know in advance what I may Blog about until the words and Imagery flows that day I'm Creating a Post.  So none of it is Contrived and I prefer it that way actually, it's True to myself.  I'm a Spontaneous Person and I am very Opinionated and extremely Passionate about so many things, so many topics.




With a certain amount of transparency I have sometimes put myself out there with random Posts exercising my Freedom of Speech and the right to Feel whatever I Feel.  *LOL*  I'm an Emotional Empath, so I tend to be highly sensitive and finely tuned when it comes to Emotions, even those of others.  I Feel everything, sometimes to an extreme and am less apt to intellectualize Feelings.  Intuition therefore is the Filter thru which I Experience the World around me.




That can in fact be very draining actually, to pick up on so much Emotion around you, along with your own, and it can deplete me if I'm not very Careful about my Exposure to it.   I would be the one to weep with you when you are profoundly Sad or Hurt and rejoice with you when you are profoundly Happy or Excited about something Wonderful that just happened to you!   And when I Feel I am Intense about it... very Intense actually... that Intensity can be both a Blessing and a Curse depending upon the Feeling being experienced.




I hold a lot of it in tho' out of consideration to those around me that require and Need me to remain Strong on their behalf so I can adequately Care for them.  Therefore, here in The Land Of Blog, I have that Luxury of sometimes releasing it into the Universe and having it just disperse and be gone out into vast Cyberspace.  Often it's a temporary dispersing of something I just have to get off my chest for the Relief... other times it's just something I'm having a very strong Opinion of and just Need to be Heard... to Vent about... Venting can be Good Therapy. 




  Blogging is therefore very therapeutic for me and I do still Feel this Space is intended here for me even tho' it's being Shared.   I Hope it Ministers to others in various ways at times if they Feel a Connection to a particular Post or topic when they choose to Visit and join along.   And I will vacillate between the Fluff of Life and the Issues of Life freely and spontaneously.  While attempting to strike a healthy balance, both for myself and for my random Visitors and the Cherished Blog Friends who come by often. 




I Needed a Break from the Heavy and Serious Stuff of Life tho' and am Glad to do a frivolous Fluff of Life Post Today to counter all the Negative weight that has been crushing to my Spirit and my Health lately.   I'm still in a Deep Funk and Dark Place, profound Grief has a weight that is enormous and skews every Filter you might have while it Clouds your days.  Until you Work thru it at your own pace and in your own way for however long it will take, which is an unknown factor.  I Hope each of you is considerate of that fact as I Mourn and wrestle with Deep ranges of Intense Emotions... and remain Down and Feel what I Feel until it Lifts and Joy returns.




*******

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

10 comments:

  1. I once wrote a post apologizing for a post I felt guilty about. I thought it too honest, too me. A blogger follower I admire wrote the following comment, "It's your blog, you can write what you want." I found that helpful. We write the truth of ourselves and our lives in so many different ways in Blogworld. That is our right. That freedom from judgment is what brings us here to write. You are entitled to your particular truth. If it doesn't appeal to some readers, then they will move on. Not to worry, you will attract others. I am sending loving thoughts your way. In my book, you are an example to us all on how to handle the hard times with grace and dignity.

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    1. Thank you Colette and I'm in complete Agreement about the Purpose for which Blogging seems to be intended, or at least my interpretation of it. A forum for Personal expression of whatever topics the Writer of them is led to Post about. I Love the variety of topics and of Blogs within this Wonderful Community. I never feel like I have to be in complete Agreement with any Style, Lifestyle, Opinion, Passion or Topic expressed by the Blogger but I do feel that as a Guest to their Blog I should be as respectful towards my visit as I would be as a Guest Invited into their World or Home physically. We do put ourselves out there as Bloggers for both those who are Kindred Spirits and we can Connect to with the Shared experiences... and for the Critics as well. I can appreciate a good debate and even an opposing viewpoint. Sometimes when we are Going Through something tho' we can be particularly Raw Emotionally and that's probably not the time to presume to tell someone how to Feel. No person has to have permission to Feel whatever they Feel, it's just too deeply personal for any presumption of anyone else to stand in judgment of in my humble opinion. Anyone can Feel 'down' or 'uplifted', its the commonality of the Human condition for every single person. Its often what Connects us when so many other things can separate us and cause division. Unity of Humanity is a lofty Dream I always Hope can transpire one day, where focus is more upon Celebrating each person and whatever differences are evident between them and ourselves. I Agree that Honesty and transparency isn't always received in a way that appeals to everyone, a risk we take, to stay True to ones self though and keep it Real. Thank You so much for the kind words during a particularly Emotionally Raw time, you have no idea how uplifting it is! Big virtual hugs and Blessings... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  2. I'm so glad I happened on your post this Sunday morning. I wish you joy and peace and thank you for those beautiful pictures.

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    1. Welcome to my little slice of The Land of Blog Peggy, so Glad you fell down the Rabbit Hole even tho' it just happens to be during a more difficult time than usual so some of the recent topics are a bit Heavy. *LOL* It isn't always like that, I hoped to Convey that balancing the Blog with Lightheartedness and Keeping it 100% Real during the Issues of Life is always my intent and Goal for this online Journal. In the vastness of cyberspace initially I didn't really think so much upon the volume of peeps that might fall down my Rabbit Hole and pay me a visit, it's been one of the most unexpected of Joys of Blogging actually and I've met so many Wonderful Friends here. Come by any time you'd like to visit again... the Serendipity of Happening upon a Post or Blog at just the right time never ceases to make me Glad too. Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  3. Hi Dawn. When my Dad passed, after two very stressful and crazy years of operations, crisis, more operations, nursing home, and then the final wind down, I thought I would never rise back up to the surface. It just takes time, that's all anyone can say that really is the truth.

    Take care and glitter the heck out of something---who can have the mopes, while glittering is flying everywhere.

    Do you know why floral designers where black....? So the glitter stands out! HA!

    Keep on truckin' my friend and the pondering and having the black times, are part of the cycle. We are here with you to make it to the other side, Sandi

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    1. Thank You Sandi for the Encouragement. Yes, it was a very long Journey for each of my Parents prior to the passing from Time to Eternity. The gamut for Mom sounds very similar to what you went thru with your Dad in fact, ending in Nursing Homes and Hospice after so many years of profound illness and finally Old Age making it so that Independence has to be forfeited and us kids, after taking our turns Caring for her, had to finally place her where she could be met at the point of need we couldn't provide in her home or ours. We had a lot of Good Years though with her during that difficult Journey and she was such a Powerful Testimony of Grace and Dignity during it all. Yes, glitter flying is very tempting... but then I'd have to clean the damn mess up. *Winks* The fantastic Support here in the Land of Blog is truly Priceless and the Luxury of expression here in the Land has been very therapeutic, way cheaper than Therapy and far more effective! *LOL* Thanks for coming by for a visit and making me Smile this Morning... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  4. Dearest Dawn, I hope some of that awful blackness is being lifted from your life. I've been thinking about you a lot, and I was deeply ashamed about the way I reacted to your last post. All I can say is that I'm in a pretty black place too, and I've been trying so hard to count my blessings that I think I took that out on you. I do apologise dear friend. Reading back what I wrote, it seems like a personal attack on you, and that was never what I intended. Far from it, I was trying to convince myself that we must look at what is right in our world. So here I sit, on my 71st birthday, with a feeling of dread. Take care of your precious family. I won't hear from one of mine today. They never remember, but they would be devastated if I forgot their 'special' days. It can be disheartening. Anyway, no more Pity Party for me. I'm going out to lunch with my DH, and I think I'll break open a bottle (or two) of wine. blessings

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    1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Lesley, yes, break out two Bottles of Wine my Dear and have one for me! *Winks* Having too much Native American in my blood I unfortunately have to take care with the Fire Water. *Winks* I think we are living in some Dark Times actually and I am convinced that the Spirit of that has so much Negativity that it infects us all in various ways. My Blog Friend Colette wrote a profound Post recently that Ministered to my Soul, as so many Blogs often do. I do understand that you meant well in your response and couldn't possibly know the entire back story of why our Transition to a better neighborhood hasn't been received as well as we Dreamed it would be. I have chosen not to Share much of the exposure to not being Welcome here and how hard it has been for me to assuage the Guilt I feel for having exposed my Grandchildren to some of the ugliness of racial and social bias that is still unfortunately alive and well, especially in certain enclaves. Coupled with Grief at Mom's Passing I'm afraid I'm so Emotionally Raw at the moment that the Darkness has threatened to overtake me for a lot of different angles. And of coarse I'm also so terribly Homesick for our Beloved Old Home, as are the Children, much Love and Happiness for the Home and our Community there is a tough tie to break and leave behind. I once saw a Special on TV that I could relate to so strongly, a very successful Young Rapper had moved out of one of the worst slums and into a very affluent neighborhood and nobody could understand why he often goes back to where he came from, it being such a rough neighborhood and hard life he'd left behind. Few could understand why his Heart would remain THERE and not with the Manse and Community he now resided in... he said he could explain it in one solitary Word... Compton for him was HOME. And being able to go back Home, even tho' he had escaped Poverty and been able to choose where to live with his measure of Success, didn't change that fact that Home is where his Heart was and would always be. Guess it is Truth that Home is where the Heart is. Hoping my Heart and the Hearts of my Grandchildren can overlook not being Welcomed to our new location and Love the Beautiful house enough to make it feel more like a Home insulated against it's environment being hostile and indifferent. I Pray that the Darkness also be lifted from your life as well, in Unity we can Uplift one another my Friend... Blessings, a big virtual Hug and Cheers as we raise a Toast on your Special Day... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  5. Dawn, the darkness in my life is that I suspect my DH has dementia. It's not just that he forgets things or gets muddled, but he has horrific mood swings which result in him being both verbally and physically abusive. That is not the man I know and love, but I'm scared of him at times. We have a surveyor coming to our home on Thursday and I'm terrified that we will be given notice to leave. I'm in an especially adapted bungalow for my disabilities, but it's such a mess. My DH has no interest in keeping the house clean and I can't physically cope with what needs to be done. I don't know what will happen after the survey. I think they will say that my DH is in no condition to look after me and our house. I don't know what will happen. I do as much as I can. Mentally I'm fine, but physically I'm not able to cope with just normal housework. I love my DH, but I no longer recognise a the man I married. I'm in a very dark place at the moment.

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    1. Oh my Dear, I wept when I read this, having been thru the Challenge of us all adapting to The Man's Traumatic Brain Injury after his catastrophic accident several years ago. It is similar in many ways to the symptoms those with dementia manifest as their poor brains alter and they morph into a completely different person. I have no adequate Words for Solution to your dire situation since clearly it is so complex. Are there any Social Services in place that you might qualify for to receive some guidance on how best to retain both your independence and a sense of security about your Future? I know that Services can be limited and/or expensive, with The Man I could not afford alternative placement and they involuntarily sent him Home for me to try to Care for without regard to whether or not I could. For us anyway it was a Blessing in disguise since he thrived and made progress... but the mood swings and unlovely behaviors at times do make it so that it is always a struggle. Since you yourself need a present help due to a disability is there any way, now that he may need similar Services of Caregiving, that a visiting Home Helper could be provided thru Disability Services? I'm not sure, but if both Spouses need aid I would think you might qualify for more help than a family where at least one is healthy enough condition to go on? Oh I wish I could reach thru the computer and give you a for real hug in person, but a huge Virtual Hug I Hope will let you know I Care. My Friend, if you ever need to talk and de-stress some, this is a Safe place to land... this Community in the Land of Blog is one of the most compassionate I know! HUGS HUGS AND MORE HUGS... Dawn... The Bohemian

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl