Tuesday, September 27, 2016

The Autumn Push


Being post-surgical hasn't been easy for me since I have to spend a lot of time in Rest Mode, taking long naps and with my leg elevated.  Since I had a complication the meds I have to take don't make me feel so great either.  Having to retrieve meds from the Base Clinic Pharmacy twice already, before I should even be driving, has been draining but was absolutely necessary.  I got it done and was rather proud of myself for holding up pretty well even with the string of bad news from my Doctor's Offices that has made Recovery more complicated than I expected.

So I've actually been very Glad that I did the Autumn Push and got that head start on my Seasonal Decor prior to my Surgery.  It's made my Environment a pleasant one to aide in a Recovery and keep me focused on the Positives rather than dwell on the Negatives.  I've also been spending an inordinate amount of time on the phone with The Young Prince's School Counselor.  Since of coarse they suddenly wanted to hold his IEP Meeting right in the middle of my Recovery!  Which I made clear wasn't happening and would have to be postponed until my Surgeon releases me to regular activities.  I'm rather Glad, I need the respite from the High School Drama playing out for this Child.

They transferred him to a different Counselor than the one we didn't like, this is a Male Counselor who is raising a Grandchild also so has a point of reference.  And his Grandchild is doing some online Schooling, which is something we may be considering given his set of circumstances.   That said, I felt this Counselor is being much more Positive and Encouraging towards my Grandson's abilities rather than fixating upon his disabilities.  He's making The Young Prince feel like he could still be mainstream schooled because he's close to passing several classes and bringing those failing grades up sufficiently to get Credits.   Nobody has been Positive like that except for me, so I can tell it's making all the difference to my Grandson's perception of his own abilities and giving him renewed confidence to stay in School and not drop out and give up.

It's one thing to have your Parents or Grandparents telling you how able you are... it's added validation to hear it from someone outside of the Family who Believes in you.  He rarely hears validation from outside of the Family, just everything Negative that is allegedly 'wrong' with him and I know it has caused his self-esteem to suffer greatly and given him an Attitude as a defense mechanism.   I am Hopeful he can get thru his Junior year some kinda way... we'll worry about his Senior year when we come to that bridge to cross and the recapture of any missing credits.   When you have a Child with Special Needs you almost have to take it one step and one day at a time and have flexible expectations.  To not look too far forward lest you stress yourselves out completely by how daunting, how overwhelming it all seems to achieve a measure of Success.  Or fixate on what Drama and obstacles are likely to ensue along the path since Society isn't quite there yet in Celebrating folks with disabilities or being totally inclusive of them.

I no longer stress out so much about the constant stream of Negative E-Mails from all his Teachers, as if they expect me to have all the answers and some Magic Formula on how best to Educate the Seriously Mentally Ill Child?  I don't have hardly any answer actually.   I'm not even an Educator and have no formal Training in that career field, so I would expect them to have more answers than me actually.  But, since clearly they don't, well, we just muddle thru as best we can.  I find it hard to Believe he's the only Child like this, surely there has been experience with other Children with similar disability and challenges?  I'm curious as to what they did with them?  Where did they farm them out to so that they didn't have to attempt to give them the same Educational opportunities as everyone else I Wonder?  They are conspicuous by their absence in most Public Schools so they must be somewhere trying to get Educated?   I Wonder a lot of things as I am Recuperating after my Surgery, I've had more time to be Still and just Think... to Contemplate... and Meditate over various things.

Keeping him on task at Home, lifted out of clinical depression and to be able to be functional daily or Care for himself appropriately so that he can one day live independently has been enough of a full time job for me.  I didn't get any formal Training for that either but we're making good progress most days just winging it with gut instinct on how best to Deal with the Issues that crop up and Roll with it.  He's a very good Communicator and for that I'm Grateful, it's easier when there are fewer Surprises and you know he's Dealing with too much for him to manage on his own.   He feels like he should be able to, he feels like he's close enough to Manhood now that he will need to, but he's still a long ways off.   I can tell that there is still much Work to do to get him there.  He's been Sensitive about my Medical situation and at least trying to step up without faltering so much.

It has been more of a struggle for The Man and Princess T, they aren't used to me being incapacitated, they are used to me being healthy and able, so some of their acting out is clearly Fear based and for attention.   Princess T had her 11th Birthday on the 22nd and I had to spend the day in bed resting, almost the entire day since it was not such a good day for me at all during the Recovery process.  Some days are good and some are just... not.   I felt she handled her Birthday being sidelined quite well actually, we'd bought her gifts early and she's had the pleasure of picking them out.  As I said previously I stocked up on all the inappropriate confections and drinks to Celebrate and give her a sugar blaze!  *LOL*  She has my Promise that once I'm Healed sufficiently we'll do something Special together, just the two of us, to Celebrate it in a belated fashion, she's Okay with that.  She likes having me all to herself.  *LOL*

I had bought some early Halloween Treats to give a more Festive Mood to my Recovery time for them all.   They could all be on a sugar blaze as I'm napping... indulging in their Treat stash, which now is almost gone.   Usually they don't possess such a Sweet Tooth and ration Treats well, so I felt a lot of it could be Stress eating?  Since the constant rotation of them coming into the Bedroom to wake me to ask if I was OK, ask me to answer a phone call or to need assistance with something seemed endless.  I had to finally quit taking the strong pain meds early... just because it made me way too unresponsive to anything going on around me.  The pain is manageable now, I think the worst is behind me if we can get this unexpected complication under control?

Complications... seems to be the bane of my existence, can't some things just be uncomplicated... Simple even?   That would be a Nice Change... I'd like that very much.   I'm not envious about a lot of things, but those who are able to live an uncomplicated life, that would be one I'd struggle with not getting a smidgen Green about with Envy!  *Smiles*   I'm Glad for them who have the uncomplicated life, I just want to be one of their Tribe and be able to say No, our lives are not complicated now and are not wrought with complications stacking up like cord-wood!   For now tho' that is not our Reality... oh well.

So I've continued along the Path of attempting to at least Simplify some things that I DO have Control over... like what we possess and how much of it we'll continue to de-stash and let go of.   Only right now that is at a complete halt while I Deal with post-surgical Healing taking place.  I'm just Hopeful it does not take as annoying long as the botched biopsy did?  Months of Healing was not on my very busy Agenda.  *Winks*   I did Simplify my Retail Spaces by letting go of the smaller Showroom #133, I'll be out by the end of October and will only be maintaining a single Showroom #114.  Which is manageable and much more affordable during an economic slump we seem to be going thru as a Country and it hitting retail sales especially hard.

I thought I might be a tad Sad about letting a Room go, but I was not... I didn't Feel any kind of way about it actually, good or bad... it just was what it is and I had no Emotion about it.  I do Hope our Economy improves after this Crazy Election is over, because I can clearly tell that people either don't have money now... or they are scared shitless to part with it if they do have some!!!  Retail across the board seems to be in a slump like never before, in our lifetimes anyway.   Some of the real Old Timers tell me it reminds them of The Great Depression enough to worry them we're heading in a similar direction, only so insidiously slow that people might not even see it happening until it's too late?   I Hope the Old Timers are wrong, but I know what they lived thru and Survived make them very Guarded and hyper-vigilant about such things.  They don't wanna go thru all that again a second time and in their Golden Years no less! I don't even wanna go thru it a first time!  *Shudder*


I think we tend to be very Spoiled... so much is taken for Granted now... and perhaps a Reality Check is in order to keep us more grounded and having our priorities correct?   I think about what my priorities actually are... what I could live without and do without REALLY, you know, if we had to.  I think we'd be Okay regardless of material things... we've had them... we've not had them... having a lot or having nothing has really never been pivotal in ensuring Happiness nor Contentment actually.   And for that I'm Glad because I find it to be very Comforting to have that Peace about whatever the Future holds for us all.   And I just realized I blew right past my 2000th Blog Post, WOW!  I've enjoyed Blogging and I Hope those that come to visit have enjoyed whatever has been Shared since 2010 when I first began?  It's been a Wild ride hasn't it? *Winks*


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

1 comment:

  1. Having been in retail in one way or another since 1970, I think I know what you mean. Election years always suck...basically. However---when the election is over, no matter which way it goes, there seems to be a fierce spending spree each time. Probably because half the people at least are no longer worried about how ----life will continue with a new 'regime'. Now this year maybe different? Since we are not doing any discretionary spending, other than the kitchen-(I have only purchased 2 kitchen rugs, 4 placemats and a runner for the new kitchen.) And what I hope to be selling ---will balance at least those purchases out. I'm going to sell,donate, or give away anything that I'm not emotionally attached to or doesn't fit in the new kitchen. So, don't totally give up---there could be a nice burst after the election...depending on which way it goes.

    And healing is also rest, healthy food, liquids and a positive state of mind. Kudos to all for helping out. So heal, and worry about the rest later. Sandi


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl