Monday, July 4, 2016

The Journey... And God's Amazing Grace

As many of you know we've been Saving for the Journey to Cali to see my Mom in Hospice for some time... before time ran out for her.   I have been Praying for Months since her condition is quite grave and to the place where recognition of anyone is practically non-existent and she's usually extremely restless now when awake and not heavily sedated.  Her 84th Birthday will be July 5th... The Son had just Celebrated his 30th Birthday June 29th, so Celebration and Sorrow were deeply intertwined.

Of coarse you still want to spend as much time with a dying Loved One as is possible, no matter how difficult and Sorrowful it might be.  Yet you don't want your presence to be additionally tormenting to their troubled Soul if the Mind is no longer as it should be.  I had been very Conflicted for Months about how the visit might play out and which of us could handle it if things went very badly?  Keeping Expectations realistic and preparing all who came for any outcome had to be something we candidly discussed amongst each other.

I had Petitioned The Lord and the Blessed Mother for a Safe Journey for all who would make the Journey with me.   More importantly, that our Love for her when we entered that room would transcend the effects of her illness and she would Feel our Love and the Lord's Miraculous Peace so strongly she would be able to respond to it in a Positive way!!!  She knows she is dying and she's been holding on for her own Special Reasons.  My Dear departed Dad always said there is a Good Day to Die... I always liked his attitude and Beliefs about transitioning to the Afterlife.

Regardless of Circumstance we each left Arizona for that Journey with Faith and a Positive Energy that we Trusted would Hold and sustain us all.  I knew along the Journey there would be a Special Shrine we always visit, we would visit it on the way there and upon our return back Home.  I spent time with the Lord there discussing these current Issues of Life and my concerns.  I fully Trusted Him to work it all out for our Good... as I fully also Trust Him for when He decides to Release my Mom from this Earthly Realm and be absent from the Body and Present with Him.

It is not easy to lose and Release anyone you Love from this Earthly Realm... everyone knows we have to eventually, Death is after all a 100% certainty of Life.   I Feel that my Mom has come to terms with her Mortality Well, but I do feel strongly that The Process for her has been very, very difficult and with much Suffering of Body and Mind.  I wanted her to know our Love for her is Eternal and completely unconditional.  But I also longed for a potential last visit that would be Pleasant and leave us all with Positive Cherished Memories of our Good-Byes.

I am a very expressive person with my Love, almost all of our Family are in fact, we are that huggy, kissy, tell folks you Love them every day kinda people.  I didn't want to have to be standoffish with our visit with Mom, fearing she might become agitated or worse, have zero recognition and fear of us and go into defensive mode.   I wanted to be able to hold her, to kiss her, to lean in close and whisper my Love for her and be able to hold her hand during this most difficult time for her... so that she'd Feel the Solidarity of Family being around her enveloped in our Love.

I knew that The Son desperately wanted to do the same with his Nanna.  The bond my Children have with my Mom is very, very strong.   When they were infants and toddlers my Mom helped look after them while I worked demanding Careers, so she formed some of their earliest most Cherished Memories.  Grandparents and Grandchildren often Share that Special Bond that involves the spoiling and more laid back approach to child rearing.   I had a similar bond with my own Maternal Nanna, I was so Thankful my Children also shared a similar relationship with my own Mom.

I knew I had to bring Princess T since her Brother and Grandpa would not have been able to handle caring for her in my absence.   Grandpa and The Young Prince knew the Journey would be too much for them physically and emotionally so had chosen to stay behind.  They did very well taking care of each other while I had to be gone, I was very Proud of them elevating to that level of Independence when we needed it!  Hallelujah, that was yet another of the Miracles and answer to Prayer! 

The Son's older ones also stayed behind with their Maternal Grandparents, but we all decided bringing the Youngest two would be best.  They are best of Friends and being together would make the Journey easier for them and the adults.  It's rather a long Journey taking the best part of a day and would be a weekend turnaround trip, so a lot of traveling.  The Son is also recovering from his serious Work related injury and the Doctors decided to leave all staples and stitches in for yet another week... so he still had the Frankenstein look going on with the mangled left arm and hand.

It is a very Scenic Journey though with loads of Majestic Mountains and of coarse the enormous Windmills and Colorado River, which was a bit hit with the Kiddos.   I'm not a Marathon Driver, I like to Enjoy the Journey and so we did and that made it a bit longer and yet much more Pleasant and Relaxing.  The Destination to me is only part of the Joy of Travel... I've always been Journey Oriented as well... don't fixate so much on the Destination you fail to enjoy the Journey.

And a part of my Desire was not only to see Mom again before it was too late... but also to see my Brother and Family again so that we could be Supportive, since they have been shouldering this burden alone to make decisions about Mom during this difficult time.  I am very close to my Brother and we always have such Fun when together, which nowadays isn't nearly often enough with the distance that separates us, I miss him terribly and our Grandkids and Adult Kids Adore him.

My Sister-In-Law is also such Fun to be around and we Love her dearly, she has always been Wonderful with my Mom.  We Hope to make Plans in the not too distant Future to go back to Cali for a longer Vacation Type of visit and to do more Fun Stuff and see the sights.  

Of coarse we cannot visit with my Brother, the Professional Photographer, without asking him to do some Family Photos for us all since his Talent is legendary at his Craft.  He has Photographed Celebrities and Entertainers for many decades and even tho' it was his Career, he also has Donated much of his Time and Talent in Retirement since it is still his absolute Passion!   Those of my Friends that think I'm the Pathological Picture Taker in this Family... you have no Idea!  *Ha ha ha*

I knew I'd rely upon my Bro' to capture these Moments thru the Eye of his Lens superbly, since my cheap little Camera isn't doing so well anymore and I do need to replace it some day.   The Weather was absolutely Glorious there in California and about thirty degrees cooler than where we are in Arizona... so we wanted to spend a lot of time outside... and the Kiddos... Poolside at the Motel.

I want to Thank my Dear Daughter-In-Law for helping with the Kiddos so much so that I could concentrate more fully upon Mom and spending time with my Brother and Family more intimately.  And Mom was so Happy to see some of the Great-Grandkids I don't think she stopped blowing Kisses and gazing at them Lovingly and with a Big Smile the whole time!   *Hallelujah!*  We had been Guarded about bringing the Great-Grands into the room if her mood and countenance had not been Positive... but they really wanted to see their Great Nanna and were determined to regardless of outcome, Bless their Pure Hearts!

  Yes... indeed... Mom's response couldn't have been better my Friends and that was so Emotional for us all, but in a GOOD way!  She not only recognized us all, but was so Happy to see us and communicate with us as best she could!!!  Praise God and I give Him all the Glory for that Miracle and answer to our fervent Prayers!  She even managed a Smile for this Image and was tightly holding the hands of her Grandson and I, squeezing it and telling us how Good we all looked!   How Gracious since I knew after driving so many hours I looked anything but Good, I was a Hot Mess!  *LOL*

But you know when you don't Care how you might look because everything is going like that Incredible Dream come True around you so you're on Cloud Nine about it?   Yes, that's how we all felt, Celebratory that our visit with Mom had been Received so well by her and that God's Amazing Grace had once again played out for our Good in that Miraculous way you always have Faith it will!  Faith is after all the Substance of things Hoped for, the Evidence of things not yet seen!  So when you finally get to SEE what you had Faith to Hope for... WOW!  It is a Twirling Happy Dance Moment!  This is Princess T doing her Twirling Happy Dance Moment after visiting with Great-Nanna!

I am also Thankful that The Son and Daughter-In-Law were there to be so Supportive and Encouraging since we'd all been on pins and needles until that Moment Mom's face lit up and all was Well!  We got to visit briefly three times with her, it wasn't nearly long enough, but what she could handle.  As she was quite tired and requires some sedation at certain hours to be Tranquil and able to have Peaceful Sleep.  But she had been able to talk to me and express herself better than I had even Hoped for and that was what has given me a deep Peace too!

She had pointed to her Head and told me she IS still here even if it seems as though she is not, I stood in Agreement with her about that.  I think part of the suffering of the Body diminishing is that the Spirit is trapped inside intact and not able to express itself so fully anymore.  I will be Happy for Mom when her Spirit is Released from the confines of the diminished Body and transitions from Time to Eternity where she will be totally Free and Whole again.

I feel as though the Life Energy and Vibrancy of Youth is so Evident that when Children enter a Nursing Facility or Hospice the majority of the Residents respond Positively to it.   So many Smiled at and tried to interact with the Children, I could see how Happy it made so many of the Elderly and Dying to have the Presence of Youthful Life Energy around them again.  It can be a little scary and intimidating for Children to Witness Life's End Stages, but our Girls handled it like Troopers and I was so very Proud of them!

I Hope that when OUR Time comes that our Children and Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren will bring that Energy with them for Life's End Stage.  I am counting on it in fact, as I have Faith they will.  We are richly Blessed beyond measure with the Family and Love we have.

At the Facility Mom is in they had this Lovely Victory Garden with Fresh Vegetables and Herbs they pick daily for adding to the Resident's meals.  They had fragrant Courtyards, Water features and Gardens surrounding the grounds and it was very clean and the atmosphere was one of Serenity.  I could tell by the looks of Happiness on so many Resident's faces they are in good hands... that also gave me great Peace that Mom is being Well Cared for now.

In fact I'd like my own Victory Garden to have such features and bounty to Harvest one day and was duly Inspired by the mobile above ground Containers and even the permanently affixed above ground Containers utilizing such space to maximum advantage!

Who knew Kale 'trees' were so ornamental and pretty {background}?  Love Kale, Note to Self: Plant some along with Sweet Basil {foreground} that I have had good Luck with in past Victory Gardens of the Desert.

And definitely Create some of these mobile above ground planters!  They were Awesome and held such an Impressive Harvest Bounty!   Yes, it had been an Outcome better than we could have expected... and that has made this 4th of July back Home all the more Special.   And Mom will probably make it to Celebrate her 84th Birthday Tomorrow... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM, we so Enjoyed our visits and we Love and already Miss you so much!   Mwah!!!


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian 


  1. It does us,your friends good too to hear of your very fulfilling trip to see your Mom and brother and his family. So happy for the Peace I hear expressed in your words. God Bless You!

    1. Thank you my Friend... I knew many of you were Praying for a Good outcome for us. Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Such a beautiful post Dawn! Bless you for making that very special journey with some of your family. It was more important that you could have believed! I hope your mum's transition goes with courage, strength and peace!
    Warm hugs,

  3. I am glad to read that you and your family got to visit your mon during this difficult time.

  4. so happy to read this! I was so wishing for you to get to your mom and have a good visit, blessing to you and yours Dawn.


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl