Monday, June 20, 2016

Father's Day Fun

Father's Day can be tough for us, because the G-Kid Force have never been raised by their Dads and Princess T's lives in another Country... for The Man and I our Dads are deceased... and The Man now has brain injury... so planning Special Events out in Public for Father's Day can prove to create a certain amount of anxiety and strain for him now due to Sensory Overload. 

  But we want to Celebrate it, we just have to get more Creative about having Fun with it than most other Families might.  We also have to acknowledge how emotionally raw this day can be for each of us and scale back the Celebrations accordingly.

I miss my Dad terribly and on Father's Day particularly that sense of loss is magnified.   I suspect each Family Member also struggles with the wide range of emotions that Father's Day often brings with it for them too.  This Father's Day the Young Prince was invited to spend the day with his Dad, which was good.  Though they have a complicated relationship and my Adoption of these two Grandkids nullified legal Parental rights, we still encourage Relationship with their Parents when possible.  I believe it to be an important bond, that of Child and Parent, I know their Parents Love them dearly and did what was best for them.

The Man is Happy now to do whatever us Girls wanna do for his Special Day, so long as we're in charge and he's along for the ride he was perfectly Content and having a Good enough Time.   We had asked him what he wanted to do but he drew a complete blank, there isn't a lot anymore he remembers that he preferred to do before the accident actually.  

 And some things would require his Man Friends to Supervise him doing that us Gals are Clueless about, like going Hunting.  *Smiles*   It was hard for us not to go a bit Girly on the outing, but he didn't seem to mind at all, he was a Great Sport.

We met up with The Son and Family so they could treat Dad to a nice Luncheon at one of our Favorite restaurants downtown, The Old Spaghetti Factory in Phoenix.   We knew most restaurants would be crowded for Father's Day and this one is so large and yet still intimate, that even when busy it still has a relaxed and spacious ambiance The Man could handle for us to get thru a meal without incident.   He had Crab Ravioli... Minestrone Soup... Fresh baked Sourdough Loaf and Spumoni Ice-Cream... nom nom.

The Oldest Child in The Son's Family, on the far right, had just passed her driving test, so there was a dual Celebration going on.   Ah, now she's independently mobile, they'll probably never see her!?  *Ha ha ha*   The Son is already struggling to see them growing into Young Women so quickly, that protective instinct is kicking into high gear I suspect... it's a Man Thing with protecting their Little Girls... and we're always their Little Girls, right?!   And he's got a lot of Girls in the house to protect!  *Smiles*

And it's always Sweet to see our Sons in Dad Mode, isn't it... and also Honoring their own Dad on this day.   I sometimes believe that being a Mom is just more Naturally and Instinctively easy than being a Dad.  Coming from a Female perspective I think that most Dads always feel they could have done better or should have done better in bonding and having Relationship with the Kiddos. 

  Not to say every Dad struggles in that arena, but many do and have a much more complex relationship than many of us Moms with the Kiddos.  I think in part its because Females tend to be Naturally more inclined to be Relational and Emotionally Connect with those around us.

We are Naturally Nurturers and they are Naturally Protectors... so we come at our roles in a different kinda way.   The Man has always been a very Macho kinda Guy and so being Soft and Affectionately Huggy Kissy with the Kiddos is difficult for him.  We've got a bunch of Super Affectionate Type Kiddos that are all about the Huggy Affectionate wanting to hang on you and tell you they Love you and smother you with their presence sort. 

 Now with the TBI his tolerance level for all that heavy relationship stuff is sometimes strained considerably and I have to remind the little one particularly, give Grandpa some space and a bit of a break from your Love and Affection!   Otherwise it can quickly become a bit of a Love-Hate Dramafest for them both after a while!  *LOL*  Oh yes, after a while she can be all over him to the point he's looking desperately for an Exit Stage Left to escape and that pleading Help Me look in his eyes like a trapped animal!  *Ha ha ha... think of your Dog or Cat being overly Loved on by the Kiddos and that expression they give you when they've just had enough!*  

And then of coarse her Mood can shift and turn on a dime to being upset with him not being able to tolerate the intensity of so much Love bestowed all at once!  *Winks*  These two Love each other to death but they can often Torment the living daylights out of each other as well now since the dynamic of their Relationship altered considerably after The Man's Catastrophic Accident... and getting used to who she calls New Grandpa is something she still struggles with since Old Grandpa was her Idol and they were so close she sometimes desperately wants Old Grandpa back. 

Now, to be fair I've sometimes had that Gramma maxed out tolerance for having an eager entourage in tow too, practically stalking me where ever I go!  *LOL*  So I totally understand and have Rescued him on many occasions, this Father's Day a couple times in fact during our Outing... to Mediate and keep the Peace so the whole day didn't spiral downwards.  We intended to be out all day since he had asked me to take him on a long random drive just looking at things from the vehicle window, he likes that and it was his Special but Simple Indulgence request... her, not so much!  *Winks*

Okay, but Grandpa was Gracious and Giving enough to agree to spend part of his Special Father's Day Celebration looking at Butterflies and Sparkle, Decor and Fashion... just for us Gals... so let us be Gracious and Giving back I reminded her, by doing what he wants to do too!   Keeping a balance when you've got a disabled grownup and a little kid in tow, so everyone stays Happy and doesn't have an Emotional Meltdown, can be a particular challenge you see.  But it's not as if any can be left behind, so you have to Plan out the day so each feels met at their point of need and not completely deprived.  It helped that my Generous Designer Friend Kenny gave her a Complimentary pick of any Butterfly she wanted for our Collection at Home.

Oh there were Butterflies everywhere and she has difficulty making decisions or accepting invitations due to her initial Shyness, indecisiveness and Anxiety Issues.   So she had quietly whispered to Gramma to choose for her, as she clammed up and bit her nails and went into Shy Withdrawn Mode, for which there is no pulling her out by force.  Even if she knows and likes whoever is bestowing Attention or a Lovely Gift upon her she can appear not at all receptive and give mixed utterly confusing signals.

 For us total extroverted Types it is hard to see things from that introverted and often Anxiety ridden perspective, but I try and know how she is.  I knew if she refused the Butterfly out of indecisiveness and Shyness, she'd be lamenting like crazy once the opportunity passed and she was Butterfly-Less!  I did NOT wanna deal with the back end regret Drama of THAT!  *Ha ha ha*   And so since I was totally diggin' the Red One... I exerted Gramma Executive Power to choose and be done with it... so the Red One it was!  *LOL*   Lucky for me she claims that was the Best one... whew... dodged a bullet there, huh, coz one never really knows which was the Best one in the Mind of the totally indecisive who choose not to choose!?  *Bwahaha!*

So, she was sitting in the back seat with her Butterfly, snacks, refreshments and whatever else I could give her as a distraction as we drove around aimlessly so Grandpa could look out the window.  *Smiles*  I actually Enjoy driving around aimlessly having a spontaneous Adventure, so The Man and are are well suited to doing those totally weird and random things together that don't Appeal to everyone.

His Needs are so Simple and Pure now and so I don't mind Obliging at all... I'm mos def the High Maintenance One in this Relationship!  *Winks*   And he's always Indulged my every Whim, I'm very Spoiled Rotten, which mebbe is why I'm a bit of a Diva, right?  *Ha ha ha*   He's always Lived by the Wise Man Mantra that if Mama ain't Happy, then ain't Nobody gonna be Happy!  *LOL*

And so by this premise of Wisdom, when we accidentally happened on our completely random drive to pass by IKEA, which I've always wanted to visit but didn't have a Clue where it was at on the far East Side... well, go ahead and lets visit now he says.   Color Princess T and I Happy!   Color us deliriously Happy once we walk inside, better by far than the Catalog Imagery!   The Man and I decided that one day we simply must buy this Wall Rack Display and find some place to hang it against a Charcoal Colored Wall too!

Though the Kitchen would be the Ideal spot to hang such a thing to put Living Herbs and Kitchen stuff visibly and within easy reach... our Dream Kitchen here at New Villa Boheme' actually lacks sufficient empty wall space to do so.  But I'll find a spot, rest assured, I'm adaptable and improvise when I really want something I fall in Love with and J'Adore the Look of!  *Ha ha ha*

Now certainly I'm not Enraptured by everything IKEA since it's totally Clean Lines and Contemporary Style aren't totally My Style, so you'll never smell the IKEA from the other side of my Front Door.  *winks* But they do have some Inspirational-Scapes, especially for Small Spaces and The Stylist could easily become an IKEA Girl since it Appeals to her Organizational Orderly Obsessive Nature.  *Smiles*

Oh yes, my Closet will look like this one day Gramma...

And MY Dream Kitchen will look like this one day Gramma...

And my Loft Apartment Livingroom will look like this Gramma...

And if I was Styling your Inner Courtyard at Home it would look like this Gramma...  Okay, so I'm totally diggin' that too Girlfriend!  *Smiles*

And tho' The Man was in Agreement that it ALL looked way Cool... he reminded her that she better either be a very Successful Stylist with Wealthy Clientele... or marry a Man who can Roll with a High Maintenance Woman with loads of Stylish Ideas... you know, like I did!  *Winks*

But in actuality he was having Fun watching us running around ecstatically Daydreaming, since he knows we do that so Well!  *Smiles*  He has always Loved the way I'm always Dreaming Big Dreams and then Masterminding ways to Manifest them into our Reality.   He knows that if I can Dream it I always Believe we can do it and I'll be relentless to Scheme The Dream... I think Princess T will be that Type too!

I'm still Scheming in fact on which Awesome and Unusual Vintage Industrial Style Light Fixture will eventually be hanging above our Kitchen Island?   The Man and I were leaning a bit towards something like this with Pulleys and Old Salvaged Wood and exposed Edison Bulbs...

But we're still actively Looking and not making a firm decision just yet since so many possibilities have intrigued us that we're willing to wait until The One shows up that Gobsmacks us!   It's almost as Fun to us you see, to Dream about which thing we most want to end up with... and we've been known to Hold Out and Wait for long periods of Time until something Perfect shows up.

Of coarse I had to Show him ONCE AGAIN my Friend Minnie's Ahhhmazing Bedding Line and remind him that we'll eventually have to Trick Out the Boudoir in some of it.   He could care less really what I feather the bed with so long as it's comfortable and inviting to Sleep in.  He knows I won't go over the top Femme with it for his Sake and he's Okay with Neutrals and Crisp Whites... or Deep Exotic Jewel Tones.   Just none of that Cabbage Roses and Pastels stuff in the Boudoir which is rather emasculating to a Dude and his shared Bedroom.  *LOL*

And he knows that not everything I go Gaga over I'll end up with... like this Fab Cabinet... which I couldn't even Believe was not yet Sold on the last day of the Event!

Though a tonnage of Inventory had Sold during the four days since Opening Day that I'd first attended and so I knew it had been a very Popular Theme and a prosperous Summer Event!   Summers can be a tough Sell in the heat of the Arizona Desert so I'm delighted when venues do well even during our harshest Retail Months.

And of coarse many Unique Shops will close or scale down for the Summer Months to re-stock and Source New Inventory so we're always all anxiously awaiting Fall when they'll re-open or go back to regular business hours again and Reveal the new bounty!

The next Theme for this Venue is going to be "Where In The World" which tends to be filled with Exotic and Boho Elements so I can hardly wait for July's Event to arrive!

And The Stylist in tow on many of my Adventures means I be getting an unvarnished Objective Opinion about how adept I'm Styling!   *Bwahahahaha*  She can be really observantly hilarious sometimes... at IKEA there was a Mom with two Daughters who were Grown and misbehaving, acting the Fool and very immature.

  Princess T looks at me and with deadpan Wednesday Addams Style disdain says in a loud stage whisper, "Really... what are they, Twenty something... and their Mom has to STILL tell them not to touch stuff and know how to act in a nice place... Gawd!?"   The Young Women blushed, Called Out by a little Kid acting more Mature than they were and pulled it together quickly, much to the Relief of their exasperated Mom!   Yeah, if you can't handle the Truth, don't ask this Kiddo!  *LOL*

The only exasperating thing that happened during our Fun Father's Day Out was I spilled an entire 48 oz. Soda on top of myself inside the New Truck!  Yep, I did... on a day that had record breaking heat {they had predicted 127 degrees that day but I don't know we reached that all time Record high ever???} and as we were traversing one of the desolate Indian Reservations outside of Town I ended up wearing Coke Zero and lamenting that not only didn't I now have anything to drink, but I'd spilled all over my brand New Truck's interior... dammit!   *LOL*

The Man had apparently Needed to know what was on the Salt River Indian Rez... not Believing my Observation that any Indian Rez I've ever been on in the Southwest or Midwest... and I've been on several... with the exception of mebbe the White Mountain Apache Rez which is Beautifully Scenic, didn't have a damned thing on it.  

Which is precisely why IMO the Govt. designated it for the Indigenous People when they took all the good places to live from them by force and forced them to live where most people didn't want to.   Just sayin'... and I was right in this case, his curiosity satisfied and me drenched in Coke Zero, we ended the Rez Road Trip since we had a Kiddo in tow so stopping at the Casino was out of the question.  *LOL*

But we had Explored far and wide that day and had a Big Time... he'd done very well being out and about for such a long stretch too... he's expanding his Endurance to having Fun.  *Winks*   And Princess T had fallen asleep halfway thru the day there in the back seat since I'd been savvy enough to bring a soft Pillow and even softer Blanket.  *Smiles*

And on the way Home we stopped by to pick up the Young Prince from his Dad's and were Glad to hear he'd had a nice day there too.   So it had been a very nice Father's Day this year for one and all.

And so here's to Road Trips and Picnics, we Love them both and not just on Special Occasions!   And we Pray that this Father's Day was Memorable in some Good ways, some Positive ways for you all?   Even those of you, who like us, have a particular Challenge with the day for a variety of Personal Reasons that are Emotionally Raw at times.

Because you can still Salvage any day that you choose to make a Good One in spite of circumstances that might not necessarily be Ideal or even necessarily Happy in the truest sense of the word.  It just has to be an On Purpose Occurrence... but it CAN be done!

You just have to learn to be Creative about it and patch things up here and there until it Looks and Feels Good to you and Functions in such a way that it can still be quite Beautiful even if it's not without some evidence of Scars and Damage.

Scarring and Damage can actually be that Uniqueness and Distinction that adds Interest in fact and tells a deeper Story.   So it is Okay to Celebrate your Story in your own kind of way, whatever that may be.   And No, not all Stories have to end Happily Ever After, in fact, in Real Life many do not.

And that's just called Life.   May you make yours the very Best that you can with whatever Hand you've been Dealt my Friends...


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

1 comment:

  1. Glad the day turned out great even with the pop spill!


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl