Thursday, February 11, 2016

The Big Picture And Clarity of Purpose

Being a Detailed Oriented Person I can sometimes get stuck in the minutia of the Details and not step back and look at The Big Picture, which can be crucial and I know that, so striking that healthy Balance is my Personal battle I'm often waging with myself.  I should be Concentrating on it being the Month of Love, Romance, Valentine's Day and perhaps attending the Renaissance Festival this weekend with the Family... all Fun stuff!  But I've got the Old Property finally ready for Sale and so my Head is stuck there in the Game, while my Heart wants to do other things that often war with the Logic.  I've got skin in this Game... so I take it Seriously and sizing up all the Angles, Players and Strategies.

Ah, the Selling of the Old Property... so much Conflict going on between Head and Heart there.   The Cold Financial Investor side of me is leading entirely with the Head... the Keeper of the Past and Preservationist in me is leading and leaning more with the Heart.   There has to be a Peace and Balance about the Outcome of all that.    Wish I could say I'm there by now, but in some ways I am not so it's just as well things took some Time.  Too much Time really, which was both a Good and a Bad thing all at the same time and I'm Grateful for delays that get my Head on straight so that I can just be Logical and employ a Strategy that makes good sense.

I'm a person of many Contradictions, both a Realist and a Dreamer... which of coarse causes internal Conflict since one has to Win Out eventually in various instances.  With Selling a Historic Property you Love but which has many Use Options enticing to Investors and Developers happens to be one of those various instances you dread in so many ways.   Should I Protect it... should I just maximize Profit... wanna do both... natch... ha ha ha... but that's probably not gonna happen in the Real World the Realist in me concludes.

The Dreamer in me always Envisions the Best Case Scenarios and the Possibilities of Ideal Outcomes tho', Guardedly Optimistic to be sure, but still a Dreamer that often has to be brought down to Earth.  *Smiles*  Will the Old Property be razed... probably... Head knows that... Heart is trying not to be too Emotionally Attached to inhibit a Sale and be stupid about any of the options open and clearly Logical.   Trying not to Care... that has always been my dilemma and Professionally I had to learn not to as the Career Fields I had in my Corporate Lives mandated it.  I can be Cold, I had years of Experience at having to be unemotional about what I did for a Living and I was very good at it and quite successful.

So... I KNOW that I CAN... but more importantly, do I WANT to?   Do I really want to Resurrect THAT person?   Very Successful Dawn could stand up against the best of them and Win, protecting any Interest I was in charge of Dealing with for my Employers or my Investors, depending upon which Corporate Life I want to Recall.   Yeah, I could go into ball-breaker mode quite easily if I want to or I had to... that is the easy part actually, to become Emotionally detached and all Business.   And if I didn't also Love my Old Property I'd just Switch... just like that... and Not Care.   But I DO Care... and getting that out of the way and out of my System is my Personal Struggle right now.   This Image made me Smile because it is the Perfect Visual of Hard Core Me, leading with the Head, yeah, not Pretty and a bit Scary in fact.  *LOL*   Clarity of Purpose... gotta get Fixated upon that Fact however unpleasant and put on this Game Face!  *Le Sigh*

But then there is this Visual and Image of the Softer side of Me, the Heart Side... the Dreamy person that Instinctively knows she was meant to Preserve, to Save, to Champion and Protect in a less Logical way those things that others would not Value or Care about... especially the History of such Stuff.   Many years ago I made the Investment to Purchase said Old Property for that very reason... both as a Logical Investment I knew was a Golden Opportunity... but also to Protect it from being razed all those years ago by those looking entirely at Best Use Option for so much land in the Heart of a City and with Unique Features legally that made it even more enticing.   Predating the City that founded and grew up around it decades later, it wasn't your Typical piece of Real Estate by any means.  Part of an Old Working Ranch that no longer Exists, but which the City was later Founded and named after... how freakin' Ironic, huh?

Having been built and owned by the Family of a Pioneer of Preservation in our State who was the first Chairman of our County's Planning and Zoning Commission from it's inception until his Death meant he had taken measures for his own holdings to ensure it was Unique and distinctive.   This was a Man who worked with some of the most Influential Preservationists and Developers of his time and has Regional Parks set aside and named in his Honor.   Alas, the City has never been as Conservation and Preservation Friendly as I'm sure he would have Hoped they would be in Development of it, in his diligence to prevent Suburban and Urban Sprawl from encroaching upon the Region's Rich History.   But it's Time might have run out... it's looking that way anyway... it has Endured and Survived... but perhaps not for much longer I'm afraid?

I had been the only one outside of that immediate Family lineage to ever Own this Old Property and I know the History tied up in it has Value... but does it have enough to Endure 'progress' and a City that grew up around it that does not really Care about it's History and keeps just wanting to re-invent itself?   Carrying the Torch that Casey Abbott and his Nephew had for this Rich History and Love for the what was Original to the Area has been something I took Seriously for almost two decades now. But there is apparently no-one to pass it to since the Caring is so limited... practically non-existent actually Truth be told.   Any prospective Buyer is looking solely at Dollar Signs, Margins and maximizing Profits... and I suspect I should be too... and must move in that direction to be prudent and Logical.

That has been a Journey I haven't really wanted to embark upon even though I know that my Destiny has Moved On to bigger and better things so Letting Go is now absolutely necessary.   How to Let Go properly has been my area of the most indecisiveness... to get to the place of Not Caring... or at least not Caring so much as I presently do.   I'm more than halfway there as I have had to begin to Resurrect my Old Self for this particular task at hand.  Meeting with and talking with Serious Investors they have quickly Identified me as one of them... and yet I know the Difference between us transcends The Deal and just making Money for me anymore.  I don't choose to go back to that Life of pursuing the almighty Dollar even tho' I Confess I was very good at it for too long and it Defined me Professionally in ways I wasn't always Proud of because it was so detached, ruthless and Cold.

I am much Happier and have Greater Contentment with who I am NOW... and so if I have to go back I want to only do so briefly, for that one last Deal I HAVE to cut and try to be totally detached about the Outcome of, just because it's good business and good Investment Logic... but maybe without Conscience getting in the way.    And if you've ever had to move your Conscience out of the way to get whatever has to be Done... Done... Trust and Believe it is a Metamorphosis that can often go against your very Nature and State of Being.   I can do it... and I know I will do it... but only because I have to... not because I necessarily want to.  Because in the end it will mean Securing a greater Financial Blessing for those I Love... more than I could ever Love any inanimate object or place... and they are the reason I often overrode any of my Natural Tendencies and did whatever had to be Done... and I totally have a Clear Conscience about THAT!


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. A difficult decision ... I don't envy you. <3

    1. Yes it is difficult... and definitely a Journey... but I do like where the Journey has taken us and that is towards greater Contentment and Blessings. Being The One to potentially Seal the Fate of something you have Cherished is never an easy decision... I don't envy me either... ha ha ha... Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Such a transition time for you.
    At least you can identify the issues. It would be easy to lose sight of why you have moved on. But you need to keep that goal in sight and leave your guilt behind. You are not responsible to hold up the whole world.
    All the best with it all. Hugs! Xo Jazzy Jack

    1. Thanks my Friend, wise words and so True. It is always difficult, if you truly Love Historic places, to be The One that could be responsible for the fate of it's possible demise... however, I am keeping sight of why I have moved on and how much I'm enjoying the changes we've made out of necessity and opportunity presenting itself. Encouragement from my Blog Friends is always appreciated. Dawn... The Bohemian

  3. What a dilemma. Best of luck with all that.

    1. Thank You Colette, the Encouragement of Blog Friends being supportive always means so much. Dawn... The Bohemian

  4. If the land is where the 'value' is, any buidings/residence could be 'given away' or sold for a pittance to another preservationist to move. Preservation magazine and website is full of such properties...which have histories but are in need of removal due to 'urbanization'. Thereby--preserving both a portion of the history and your family's well being. Grins, and it goes on. Sandi

    1. Some of the Historic Ranch Homes in the area had that option and were moved, but unfortunately it sometimes still means they don't survive because the move was not successful. One old Victorian in a nearby Town was left on it's portable structure too long and compromised the stability of the Home so it was a total loss in spite of having spent a small fortune moving it to try to save it. Local preservation societies often don't have adequate funding to buy, relocate or maintain them so they are reluctant to put skin in the game. But it is a suggestion that I have seen meet some measures of success in some parts of the Country... alas, I don't think our property is a likely or viable candidate for a variety of reasons. Dawn... The Bohemian


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