Wednesday, January 13, 2016

The Home Stretch... And What A Stretch It Is!

I don't know Why but the Home Stretch of any Journey or Project is always the hardest part for me to Endure.   Probably because the Finish Line is just in sight and if I've been on the Journey or immersed in the Project too long already and pushing Hard, well... I'm just about Spent... so it almost seems like I'll Fall Out before I get across and never actually Finish!?!    Even if I Fall across or get dragged across I'd be Okay with it at this juncture!

That is how it's seemed with this Epic Move and clearing out the Old Homestead to get it ready to Sell.   Coupled with Moving In at the New Villa Boheme' ... and Full Time Caregiving... and of coarse the Adoption Journey with the G-Kid Force's Permanent Placement being Assured to remain here with us... it's just that I had too scattered a Journey and too many Projects going on simultaneously to Concentrate sufficiently and Devote myself to just any one!   And so it all suffered to some degree as I juggled it ALL!

At least we were able to close the Chapter on the Adoption Journey... though there are still some loose ends since The System has been running way behind and so I still don't have a Health Care Card for Princess T.   And the new Birth Certificates were over a Month late being updated at Vital Records so I haven't been able to go to Social Security yet either and get that squared away yet!  The incessant Follow-Up is moving along, but it's a distraction and I don't Need any more of THOSE!

I did finally get the enormous amount of Health Care Paperwork Signed Off upon for The Young Prince that his School was requiring from his Specialists about his Chronic Health Conditions causing him to miss so much School.   I was getting weary of those threatening letters saying I could face Jail Time for excessive absences, even of a Child with serious incurable Mental Health and Medical Issues... hey, don't threaten me with a Vacay!  *Winks... yes, it's Sad but True that Jail would seem like the closest thing to a Vacay I've had in YEARS!  Ha ha ha*

And it's not AS IF I Enjoy keeping he or his little Sister Home from School when they're having a Poor Health or Serious Mental Health Issue day going on... because then I never get a damned thing done those days!   I've begun to just send him Severely Depressed or having Extreme Anxiety sometimes and then refusing to pick him up when they Call and can't handle it,  just so they get a Taste of what it's like if I Oblige them by sending him anyway so that he won't have Excessive Absences!    Choose folks, which way do you REALLY want it?!?   'Cause there is no Cure for what ails the Child!   I either can keep him Home on THOSE days or send him... those are my ONLY options!

Since he missed Monday already this week and they squawked about it... I sent him Today even tho' he wasn't any better off than Monday.  Naturally I was clear over at the Old Property Working when the Nurses Office began the Retrieval Calls!!!   The Man couldn't get him since he'd get Disoriented and Lost trying to walk to or find the High School, they know he has TBI anyway.   Thankfully I wasn't near my Phone to receive any of the Calls!  Oh well...  The inclement Weather had FINALLY lifted and so I was able to finally Devote a Morning to the Project of getting the Old Property readied for Sale... it's a fairly long commute from the New Property so I didn't Need to Abort the Project prematurely anyway to retrieve him early... let 'em Cope... maybe then they'll get off my back about the days he should just stay Home??!!!

And in part this is precisely Why I don't get a Helluva lot Done EVER!!!   When you are a Caregiver for a Trio of Loved Ones with Issues you just never know when it will put the kabosh on ANYTHING or EVERYTHING you're trying to get Done outside of your Caregiver Duties.   And so the Finish Line for putting the Old Property up for Sale and Closing that Chapter has been in the Home Stretch for a while already... JUST out of reach... and what a Stretch it is to try to Reach the Finish Line!!!  It has been a Head Trip to stay in the Race anyway and just FINISH!!!

There are many days when I would LIKE to Pass The Baton to somebody else... ANYBODY else... only there is nobody else actually in this Marathon relay Race to that particular Finish Line.  So I just have to just keep on Truckin'... even as slowly and painfully as the Pace has been since there is no pickin' up the Pace... I'm too Tired... there's too many Distractions and Hurdles in my way... so Arrival is just Delayed considerably... and it is so Frustrating!

The Maintaining of two Homes is a Financial Burden too... so I am too tapped to hire outside Help and Volunteers are too few and far between... so it will just have to take as long as it has to take and I'll have to Exercise my Patience.  My Patience always gets quite the Workout, it should be Strong by now... but it isn't!  I'm still an Impatient Person by Nature, it's just how I'm Hard-Wired to BE... and so Restlessness also sets in... to the point of Tears some days when so much HAS to be Done and not much, if anything, is actually GETTING Done!   *Le Sigh and Pacing like a Caged Lion!*

Now, perhaps it wouldn't be so Bad if I ALWAYS Felt like Working... but sometimes even when the Rare Op presents itself, that will be the day I really don't wanna have to Press Hard again and try not to have it derail once again.   Today was actually one of THOSE days so perhaps it was a Good Thing they couldn't get hold of me to pick The Young Prince up?  *LOL*   I was slogging away at the Old House and Encouraging myself about the Progress being made... and yet I was also Emotionally very Raw and Intensely Frustrated at the whole shebang... being there all by myself again just made me Pissy and Feeling very Sorry for Myself, so a Big Pity Party was also going on.

I was having one of those Epic Conversations with The Lord,  you know the ones when you're Going Through and you're Fed Up to Death of Going Through and would much prefer a Breakthrough... or just a damned Break!  *LOL*  I can be very Tenacious about Reminding Him about how Unfair it all is and especially when I'm trying so very Hard... Ha ha ha... like Life IS Fair, right?   Life ain't Fair, otherwise Bras wouldn't come in Sizes... among other things!   *LOL*  And since He didn't send any Angels down to Help with the Work yet to do... it will all still be waiting for me the next time I can make it over there... dammit!  *Ha ha ha*

And here's the Problem with me Delegating Chores with this Crew... when you Delegate any Work to Special Needs Children or Old Men with Brain Damage there is a very high probability that most of it won't get Done before they get Distracted, Forget what they were supposed to be doing, claim to be too Tired or just Bail the moment they can get a chance to sneak way and Escape!   All this unseasonable inclement Weather has meant Epic Rain for the Desert and so Weeds have gone berserk... here and at the Old Acreage.   I Weeded the front Yard of the New Villa Boheme' since we have an HOA so I didn't need Drama... and Delegated the unseen Back Garden to The Man to Weed.   Princess T ratted Grandpa out by saying he'd snuck inside after pulling only three Weeds, she had his bucket as cold hard Evidence to Prove it... she should be on CSI that Kid!  *LOL*

I'd been Proactive at both Properties by spraying them with expensive Weed Killer that Claimed it Kills them up to a year.  The Monsoon Rains must have diluted this ability or they've become resistant to the formula because it hasn't made much difference in Weed growth being rampant anyway!  *Le Sigh*   At least here it is Manageable... on the Old Acreage it is bleak, an Investor may need to come bearing a Machete if I don't get that place finally cleared out and Sold this Month?!?  Hence my sense of Urgency on several tiers of Why I HAVE to kick it into High Gear and Push all the Harder to close that Chapter ASAP!   Stretch... towards that Elusive Finish Line just in Sight!

My Olympic days are definitely behind me in Finishing anything in Record Time... there will be no Gold Medals or Crowns being handed out after this Race lemme tell ya... but I'll just be Glad to Finish, even if it's in Last Place!?!??!??!


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Dawn...bless you. I am not currently going through any of the care-giving (old or young) or two properties challenges, but...been there, done that (at the same time, like you) and it is NOT fun...Offering up prayers for you, my friend!

    1. Oh Thank You Anne... for having the point of reference to understand... and to appreciate that sometimes we just have to rant a bit and then continue moving forward... today was one of those rant pissy Posts I needed to just unload. ha ha ha Hopefully you'll come by for a visit one day when I'm having a Positive Post!? *Winks* It's not ALL doom and gloom over here at Bohemian Valhalla, lotsa Positive to appreciate and write about too most days... Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Dawn, I honestly don't know how you cope. I know you'll say that you simply HAVE to, but many people wouldn't, and I think I would probably be in that group. You make me feel ashamed of moaning about things in my life that are not perfect. Really they are only minor irritations compared to what you take in your stride. I know you'll get your reward some day, but I bet some practical help wouldn't go amiss right now. I'm so sorry there is nothing I can do, but I will have a talk to those Angels, and tell them to get their finger out! Blessings
    PS It's snowing. We didn't get any last winter!

    1. Oh Thank You Lesley for the words of Encouragement. Today I got The Man to come help at the old house and he actually did a good job so long as I kept him on task. Then we went out for a nice meal together so it was a much better day than yesterday, I wasn't so pissy! LOL Dawn... The Bohemian

  3. Hi Dawn! None of those weed killers work, lol! I spray with things that say the same thing and those weeds always come back. That rain we got was absolutely crazy, I never thought it was going to stop raining! It was probably the first time I was actually happy to see the rain stop and go away lol! My weeds are sooooo bad now too! I am glad you are in the home stretch and finishing up at the old house so you can wrap things up, it will feel good (though a little sad) when everything is done and you can solely focus on the new house. Happy New Year sweetie! Leslie

  4. Oh Precious Dawn! You will get through! You will make it! I've never know anyone with such problems to deal with but managed them so well! You deserve to win and you will!


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl