Wednesday, December 9, 2015

I'm Very Close To Done!

Our Christmas Party at the Antique Mall is Tonight and we get our Checks early... Thankfully mine will be enough to Fund the Cash Gifts for Christmas and the Birthdays coming up in December and early January to the rest of the Grandchildren and my Mom!  *Yay and a Hallelujah!!!*   I had Needed my Sales in my Showrooms to finish out this Payday Stronger than usual... and though it has been a very Soft Holiday compared to previous years, I was Grateful I Earned enough to meet my Goals and also picked up so many Extra Shifts to Comp even more of my Space Rental.

So I'm very close to Done and that Feels Wonderful since my Goal was to ensure all of the Grandchildren were covered for the Christmas Holidays and for those who have Birthdays right around the Holidays.   It's a lot of Kids, which is a Blessing from God, each and every one of them, and yet gets quite Expensive when you begin to have so many of them!  *Ha ha ha!!!*   And you never want to short-change the Grandchildren whose Birthdays just happen to fall right around the Holiday Season either... and we have so many of them having Birthdays in late December and early January!

So it really Helped out this Gramma when a Local Fire Department Sponsored a Christmas Shopping Spree for the Grand-Daughter we're Raising.  Princess T was among only five Children Chosen from her School for Sponsorship... and five Children from each surrounding School in our District were also Chosen.   What an unexpected Blessing!!!  We met up near a Local 'Target' where the Spree and Pizza Party would take place.  I saw instantly the Common Denominator of the majority of the Children Chosen... almost all are being Raised by Grandparents or were other Kinship Placements by the State through Child Protective Services.  Each Child was given a generous Fifty Dollar Gift towards one Needed item and the rest could be spent as they Wanted.  Princess T got a lot of bang for her Buck, being the Frugal Shopper she is... Fancy Dress Shoes, My Generation Doll Accessories, two of her Shopkins Blind Bags and some Shopkins Collector Cards!  *Smiles*

Yes, she looked appropriately Needy of Sponsorship since she'd torn yet another hole in her Leggings at School and we had to meet up directly after School!   These Kiddos are so hard on Wardrobe, so if they're not outgrowing them at the speed of light, they're trashing what still fits!  *Ha ha ha*   However, on a Serious Note I cannot begin to tell you how much of a Relief it was to talk with and be around other Families during the Holidays who are going through what you are going through as a Family.  The Camaraderie was so Special, since so few can truly Understand the Challenges unless they have a Point of Reference.   To talk with other Grandmothers who had to Assume the Responsibility of Raising Children again at this Season of Life... and under typically Stressful Conditions involving the Adult Child not up to the Job of being able to Raise them, usually due to Mental Health and/or Substance Abuse Issues or Institutionalization.  The Heartbreak of having a Mentally Ill Adult Child and/or one with Addiction or a Wayward Lifestyle of any kind is just Compounded by the Collateral Damage done to The Innocents... your Grandchildren. 

You Love your Children Unconditionally and of coarse every Parent wants a Good Life and Success for all of their Children, when that does not happen there is a lot of Stress and Pain or sometimes Shame and Embarrassment associated with it.   It becomes the Family 'Secret' nobody much wants to have to talk about or think about because it is so deeply Personal and such an Emotional Torment... let alone Share with virtual Strangers that don't really Need to know!  There is then heaped on the Judgment by so many in Society that you often have to Confront and Encounter when folks feel the Need to give you their Opinion regarding Grandparents or Extended Family having to Raise these Unfortunate Children.   Those who have no Filter on what they are saying or the impact it makes upon Families already often in and Dealing with significant Crisis.  Which just adds to the Pain, the Family Shame or Humiliation of their particular Circumstances... who wants to be Judged or any of their Loved Ones Judged by Strangers making broad Assumptions after all?!?   Even IF their Assumptions are Correct in part, Condemnation of Others or Self-Righteousness is never Pretty. 

Families already Dealing with their particular Life Crisis... The System and all that entails usually don't also Need the Unfiltered Opinions of Joe Public about something that could happen to anyone, there but for the Grace of God!   I Remember actually saying many years ago that I would NEVER Raise a Grandchild... got double for my trouble of being so Smug and Naive about what I thought I'd NEVER have to be Confronted to actually  do!  *LOL*  Life unfolded and shut me the Hell up, I didn't know what I was even talking about all those years ago when I Assumed I would NEVER DO this, that or the third!   Until it's YOU you NEVER do!!!   *Winks*   Just keep on Living... you NEVER really know what you might be Challenged with or up against to make you eat your Words and give you a Fresh New Perspective on Life... and Empathy for what others might be Challenged with and you were just Lucky enough not to have to Deal with... YET!

As I was building the Treat Towers for The Son's Family, which will have some Cash tucked into the top box for the Grand-Daughters... I thought how much Luckier I actually was than so many of the Families I met that Night.   Our Daughter and the Dads of the G-Kid Force have always Voluntarily been in Agreement with and Supportive of what would be Best for these Children due to our particular set of Circumstances.   There was no Involuntary tearing apart of a Family due to Abuse, Neglect or Molestation... no Fighting against us doing the Right thing by them... and I know how Rare that is!   So many of the Precious Children Chosen for that Shopping Spree have had to Endure such Horrors... as have their Extended Families in picking up the pieces of those little Shattered Lives and Fighting Against their own Loved Ones to do the Right Thing! 

  One Grandmother I Bonded with that Night had already Raised Six Children of her own... and was now Raising FIVE of a Prodigal Daughter's Children, God Bless her!!!  Children who had Survived so much already... including bouncing in and out of Reunification by the Court System with Parents that would never be up to the Job of Raising them... and a Grandmother willing to keep taking them in when things Failed again and again so that they wouldn't be sent in five different directions into Foster Care... and who now Thankfully had been able to Adopt them and end some of the Madness!   I Wept for this Dear Woman!   The baggage those Children carry will always be present and heavy to bear and Deal with on a daily basis and for a Lifetime... nothing can be undone that was done.

Two of her Grand-Daughters had been among the Five Chosen from their School... and to Witness the Joy and Childlike Wonder on their little Faces even in the Face of such Adversity was a Testimony of God's Healing Grace and Touch upon their Lives!   To look at them was to look into the Faces of almost any Child... and that is what we must always Remember and be ever Mindful of... they CAN be almost any Child, among us... Dealing with Life Circumstances we are not Aware of and privy to, perhaps never could have a Point of Reference for nor Understand completely.   It is not always Apparent what a Family is Dealing with behind the Scenes... many do not choose to Share... to be Transparent... lest there be Judgment and having people Feel some kind of Way about it!   It is Indeed a Risk to have Transparency of one's Struggles and Challenges.   But I have always felt it is somewhat Necessary because we are only ever as Sick as our Secrets... those things we keep Carefully Hidden because of the Unpleasantries of whatever it is... the Pain associated with it.

Drug and Alcohol Addiction are Rampant in our Society nowadays and almost every Family has been Touched by it in some kind of way... either directly or indirectly.  And yet nobody much wants to discuss it and the Damage caused to so many by it because it can be such a Controversial Subject with Polarizing Viewpoints and Opinions... almost like Politics and Religion!   And so it is mostly Avoided... and the Secrets are entrenched... until someone knows you have a Point of Reference and it has Touched your Life some kind of way... and then they Feel Safe Opening Up.   I can always see and sense the Relief of being able to Keep it Real rather than Hidden and hoping nobody will know the Secret Struggles going on behind the Scenes.   Until there is a Dialogue then there is no Hope for any Solutions or a Healing Touch of some kind.

Empathy is a Priceless Gift that is often discounted far too much.  Even if you do Feel some kind of Way about something... even Passionately... you can STILL possess and extend Empathy towards another... it goes a long way lemme tell ya!   And even if you don't even know anyone Struggling with such things as Serious Physical Illness or Disability, Mental Illness or Addictions... chances are during a Lifetime and if you Keep on Living, you might have it eventually Touch your Life too in some kind of way.  And that Touch can sometimes be like a brutal Slap across your face or Punch to your stomach... because it does Impact Life in a most Aggressive way that will bring with it Pain...  Challenges... Struggles... and often Isolation and Alienation from Society.  It will be a Tough row to hoe.

And I for one was Exceedingly Grateful to those Brave Emergency Services Employees that chose to Touch the Lives of Families facing some of those Challenges in a Loving and Generous way this Christmas Season.   They were indeed the Hands and Heart of Christ that day... Love in Action... making a Difference in ways they could probably never completely realize was much more of a Gift than Monetary... much more than their Time spent with these Kids... in fact, what they Gave was Priceless!!!   Something that cannot be repaid in this Life in full... it will be repaid and Rewarded on the Other Side of Time and Eternity... by God Himself!!!


Merry Christmas from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. I'm sure that was some comfort to have the opportunity to visit with grandparents in similar situations! Good for you on the decorating and money available for Christmas and Birthday gifts!

    1. It certainly was Comforting Marlynne... and it made me so Aware of how much better off we are than so many of these Dear Families who are Dealing with even more than we are! Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Thank goodness there are people like you. I adopted a child that had been in lots of foster homes and actually went into ours as an emergency. We became licensed in a hurry because they had no other place for him. It is so hard, I know. I am glad that your granddaughter was chosen. And what a blessing to talk to others that are in your circumstances. Oh, I had lots of advice. I also lost some friends over it. God Bless you. I hope your check is even bigger than you imagined.

    1. Thank you so much for Sharing your Story! And how Wonderful that your Adopted Child found such a Loving Caring Home to become a permanent part of. We could not be Licensed as Foster Parents due to my Husband having Traumatic Brain Injury... and I had to finally Adopt them as if a Single Parent with no stable income of my own, which took a long time since my Husband was also not allowed to Adopt due to the TBI even tho' he's been financially supporting and raising them since birth! I had to take early Retirement to become their and my Husband's full time unpaid Caregiver many years ago. But finally this month we got our first subsidy check to assist in deferring the cost of raising Grandchildren on a fixed income, which is such a relief to finally receive some help after fifteen years of not qualifying. I would gladly cut anyone out of our lives who is not 100% supportive and positive about our circumstances... you need all of the Positive Energy and Network of people 'Down' for you as you can get, the others are not necessary to even have in our lives IMO. Hugs... Dawn... The Bohemian

  3. What a wonderful story. It's a great gift that you and your hubby have been given, the chance to look after the children. Blessings

  4. Your gr-daughter is adorable. She is blessed to have you, as you are blessed to have her.

  5. Blessings to you and yours...all of them. We have only one Grand..and are hoping somehow...there maybe another. So count your blessings and have the Merriest of Christmases! Sandi


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl