Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I'm Not Ready Yet...



Okay, so now that it's over, the Celebrations of Halloween and Dia de los Muertos I'm left with the same-o Feeling of being rather Sad that it's all ended.   I do that a lot with the Transition and Hype of Holidays... I've always Enjoyed Preparing for them and Celebrating them way more than the putting away of them.  Not because of the Work of taking it all down... I'm just not ready yet... so I tend to leave them out for a while to savor them and stretch it all out.  After all, it takes so long to Create the Vision for each Holiday, doesn't it?  Well, if you're like me it does anyway... you know how Over-The-Top and Excessive I tend to be!  *Winks*




I see how quickly everyone else tends to Move On... Good Lord, by the Day After Morning most had already erased any signs that it ever Existed... they must have Fairies Enlisted to take it all down and put it away in the Night?!?   I couldn't possibly Move On that fast and I doubt I would even want to.  The G-Kid Force laughed and kidded me that we'll be Enjoying our Decor at least until after Thanksgiving... since we can always incorporate most of it into our Harvest and Thanksgiving Theme and actual Daily Way Of Life since our Home is just that Quirky twenty-four-seven and three-hundred-sixty-five anyway.  *Winks*




While we were at the Pumpkin Festival in Carefree I really Enjoyed the Faux Pumpkin Vignettes where they're just hanging out in the Desert Enjoying everything about Autumn's Splendor... because that's how we tend to Roll.  We're in no hurry and with no worries to Spirit everything away and on to the next.   I just can't Rush right into Christmas before Savoring my Autumn Holidays is complete!




That's why I make such a lousy Holiday Vendor at our Antique Mall... my Showrooms just don't get Prepared in enough Time for each pending Holiday's Inventory to be laid out.  I'm still roasting Marshmallows with Visions of Sugar Skulls still dancing in my head!  *Smiles*  I've still got Pumpkins all over the place... Real ones, Velvet ones, and all of the other Autumn Holiday paraphernalia entrenched in it's Magnificence.  It will stay that way until at least the day after Thanksgiving at Bohemian Valhalla too... it's our Custom... at least that's what I tell myself.




In fact it has become an Obsessive Ritual of sorts to firmly hold onto every Holiday with a grip that is hard for me to break... seems every year I linger longer.   Perhaps because of this Season of Life making me slower to do everything... I dunno?  *Winks*  And Mi Vida Loca making it so that I can't schedule too much into any given day or make any kind of Commitments without logistics you have no Idea of the Challenges of! 




Yeah, this is me sometimes jumping over so many things just to make a safe landing on the other side of whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish.   I'm the Evil Knievel of Multi-Tasking, I've typically got everything and nothing going on all at once... even my Restful Moments have a Laundry List waiting at the other end of them longer than I care to Contemplate the Work of.  So... taking down my Enjoyable Holiday Decor is not amongst any of the Higher Priorities on The List of To-Do Projects being procrastinated upon!  *Smiles*




The Epic Move still has a much Higher Priority on The List than just about anything and everything else.  I'm still schlepping over one tiny load in the Jeep at a time like a Sherpa going up Mount Everest.   Yeah, sometimes completing that Move and clearing out the Old Homestead does seem like a Mount Everest kind of Expedition at times and I've become somewhat of a Slave to The Process since it has to get done!




Well, of COARSE I'd rather be playing... Duh!   And sometimes I even do, just because otherwise I think I might lose my Mind and my Ambition to actually Devote any more Time to it.   Going to Work when you don't like the Job is always Challenging after all, isn't it?   I don't like Moving... I had forgotten in fact how much I didn't like Moving.  Gypsy Soul that I am and how Nomadic I lived the majority of my Life that might sound Strange... but it's not the actual MOVING that bothers me... it's the carting of the Stuff of Life and Moving Out of where ever you were and leaving it behind that can be difficult... physically, mentally and emotionally. 




I'm no slingshot when it comes to propelling forward... I linger a lot... it's just how I tend to be Hardwired I guess.  I'm the Journey kind of Gal and not the Destination kind... so it is hard for me when the Journey has a Deadline... well, anything with a Deadline stifles me actually, especially one where I feel Rushed and can't take the Time that I NEED and want to Devote to it.




Yeah, I'm straight as an Arrow when it comes to hitting my Mark, I'm Accurate as Hell like that... but my Flight towards the Bulls-eye just has to be on my own Leisurely Time Frame for me to Enjoy that In Flight Journey towards the Destination I Desire.   With the demands and Commitments of full time Caregiving... the Adoption of The G-Kid Force... Moving... Prepping for Holidays that come in short succession... Working at my Showrooms and Shifts at The Antique Mall... Appointments for the Loved Ones... well, it's often Too Much to be crammed into any Calendar.




I've spent too much Time in the Air flying from one thing to another... without enough Grounded Time and I HATE that!   So having the Holidays linger has kept me Grounded in a different kind of way, slowing my Pace down to where I need it to be and diffusing Stress and Pressures Created by things beyond my Control.   Being a Control Freak of Epic Proportions that's vitally Important you see!  Smiles*




You see, I need to at least FEEL like I'm Centered and Anchored on the inside even when everything around me is spiraling out of Control and warping by at the Speed of Light!




I NEED my Meditative Ohm and Zen Moments Daily in between the Madness that is currently playing out daily too!




Even if that careening vehicle of Life is so close and barreling down upon me that it threatens to squash me into Road Kill and I can feel the whoosh of it's Force against me as I try to hold my Pose and retain my Calm, Inner Peace and Joy in spite of whatever is on the Agenda for the day.




Sometimes scaling the Wall of it all seems insurmountable at times... is that even a Word?  I dunno, but I think you get the gist of the upwards climb I've been on for quite some time now... especially if you've been Following my Adventures for any length of time.   It's Tiring... it's Achy... some days...


  

It's like a complete Free Fall and not certain where or how far you'll land??!??!




There are other modes, more leisurely modes of Arriving, that I'd prefer to take given the Option... but sometimes you just have to get on board and realize you bought the Ticket so you're on for the whole Ride regardless of how Terrifying it can sometimes be!




I mean, I've been around long enough now to Realize that Life isn't all Carefree... that Rest and Relaxation, though preferable are not always Possible in certain Realms of Being... depending upon one's Circumstances and Lot in Life.   And quite Frankly, I happen to LIKE being me and my Life... I know... I'm totally Weird like that... and a Cup half full kinda Gal when it comes to Perspective of anything.




But... But Dawn... you might be saying, you're standing there with Issues of Life Arrows being shot at you constantly and some are hitting their Mark!!!!!   Yes, and your Point is?   Does that mean you still can't Feel completely Blessed... fairly Content in the Moments that make you fully Aware of how Good Life is overall and how Fortunate you are and how Unfortunate it could be in a worse case scenario?!   I see a lot of Unfortunate worse case scenarios playing out around me you see, I'm AWARE of those... and there but for the Grace of God go I Moments are Profound and keep things in Perspective regardless of the days when Arrows hit.   They haven't killed me yet... so I'm just Perforated from their wounds... and that allows the Sun to Shine through in a more Interesting Pattern I think, like Lace.




And I will always Play The Game to the best of my Abilities... even if The Game can be Frustrating and I wasn't necessarily a Volunteer nor that Skilled a Player at whatever it is we're Playing right now!?  And that some Games are longer than others... so you just have to keep on swinging... at the fences... and Hoping for a Home Run... even if you're playing Golf!  *Ha ha ha*




Because one day my Vision is to be Living The Dream more frequently... in Real Time instead of just inside my Head.   I'm moving towards that eventual Goal every single day... because if you're not constantly moving towards a Goal then how do you ever Hope to Achieve it?   If you are waiting for your Ship to come in you better have sent one out!




And I do get to Enjoy some time with Friends and Family doing those Enjoyable things... enough so that it keeps me Driven... even on the hard days.   You know the ones, that given an Option you'd rather get a Free Pass on or have Staff to handle for you.  *Smiles*    I still think I NEED Staff... I'm a Great Delegator you see, I Supervise Splendidly... I just don't have anyone to get the Job done right now... so it's just me... and that totally Sucks since Staff would be easier and more Uplifting.  *Ha ha ha*   Volunteers, since there is no Budget for Payroll and all... you can Sign Up HERE, Happy to have you on board regardless of your Abilities or lack thereof... Team Dawn is very flexible about on the Job Training and no Experience being necessary.  *Winks* 




Just having Company and that Tribe to keep the Predators at bay as the Issues of Life circle the Wagon or Nest is Comforting you see.   And they will come... they always do... it's as if they sense when you're ever Feeling Weak... or Weary... or Vulnerable.




And we don't have to just Share in the Work mind you... there will also be plenty of Cumbaya' Moments too that we can mutually Enjoy!   Well, that is the Dream anyway... and soon I Hope it is coming to Fruition... because lately things have been Looking Up for a Change... and that's Promising!   And in the meantime, I'll just surround myself with the Splendor of the Autumn Holidays a while longer... because while you're Patiently Waiting... you might as well be in a nice Spot...

******* 

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian





8 comments:

  1. these pumpkins crack me up---and yes, I'm into Fall/Autumn/Thanks still for a bit, I'm with you there! Sandi

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    1. Yes, they were Amusing Vignettes and really made us Smile as well... they Animated my Post Storyline quite well too... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  2. Your a beautiful person inside and out! Those pumpkins are really neat too!

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    1. Awww... thanks Marlynne... Ditto... you too my Friend! Dawn... The Bohemian

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  3. OMGosh, the pumpkins are amazing. Your take on each one animating your life is pretty Dawned creative! My Sugar Skulls and Mariachi bands are still out to be seen by all. Perhaps I'll put them away today...Maybe not. I can't imagine moving. We've been here since '76 and Terry hoards things in his 3 stall garage. Things my grandkids might want...but don't. I'd love to move to a fresh new home with no aches and pains and signs of aging..but still we stay
    xx, Carol

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    1. Ha ha ha... I sound like your Terry... and the Move prompted me to edit and purge the Hoard of Lovelies that the Adult Grandkids and our Adult Children didn't want... and a Fresh new home with no Projects, after having lived in a Historic Labor of Love Home for almost two decades has been so Refreshing... I should have probably done it sooner! Thanks for the compliment, they animated my Life right now so perfectly! smiles Dawn... The Bohemian

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  4. I think that's why I got rid of most of my 'holiday-specific' decorations in the move, Dawn. It takes only about an hour to put out and pack up for both Hallowe'en and Christmas now, which is much more do-able and not such the chore it used to be. But that's easy for me to say when it's just the two of us - probably I'd change my mind if I had g-kids.

    You just have to figure out a way to make the pumpkins look more Christmas-y so they can stay displayed from September right through December! I know you can do it... ;)

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    1. Well, you've given me Inspiration to find mini Santa hats... Beards and Elf Ears and such to dress up the Pumpkins and Sugar Skulls perhaps? Ha ha ha Yes, I was able to purge a LOT of Holiday Specific Collections and Decor during the Move... glad I did, now I only have what I absolutely adore. Dawn... The Bohemian

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

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