Monday, November 16, 2015

Determining Critical Mass And Other Self Doubts



It's not ENOUGH I thought in my Head as I unloaded Yesterday's Jeep load from the Old House into Garages at the New House already determined to be at Critical Mass for Storing it all until I get the time and energy to unpack completely!   Yes, it was yet another one of those days of determining Critical Mass and having other Self Doubts that I hadn't been Editorial ENOUGH in what should Stay and what should Go!?!??!





I don't know why I remotely Imagined that having to be Editorial about every single thing we own in one fell swoop during this Move would NOT be a lengthy Process in and of itself?   Especially given I already know what a lousy Editor I am since it does not come Naturally to me to Edit... so there is almost always a continual Purge in Process!   I think I was completely Delusional in fact that I could just do it the one time during the Move and have plenty of Space for what I determined was a Keeper?!?




And doesn't any Space look absolutely Ginormous EMPTY?  I'm actually Surprised that spell check recognizes Ginormous as a legit word... and even more Surprised that some of my Ginormous rooms in this New Home look like they've already reached Critical Mass on what they should hold Nicely!   And we did want it all to look Nicely didn't we?   We didn't want Clutter, Piles, things not to have a Place... I mean, that was part of the Master Plan wasn't it?  Simplicity and Paring down to make Life less Complicated... and easier for me to Care for.  I keep Reminding myself of those Truths in fact, every time I walk into the Garages and see what has Migrated over and hasn't even been unpacked yet and might not have a Place?!?




And worse yet, I find myself Procrastinating on Purpose some days... like Today!  *Gasp!*  Sure, after I got the one Grandchild that isn't Sick with the Flu off to School and the other one that sounds dreadfully contagious Quarantined in his room so that us Seniors don't succumb to whatever he's likely to Share, I finally unpacked Yesterday's load from the Jeep.  It was a tall order just finding Space to unceremoniously dump it in the Garages for now... Forget about all that Orderly stuff I'd finally Accomplished with the uniform boxes and crates last week!  We're back to and down to random boxes, some without lids again now!  *Le Sigh*




It's not Fair I think to myself, all that hard work of getting it looking Organized and Tidy so that it wasn't driving me Crazy, completely undone in just a few more loads I felt I HAD to Keep!  Dammit... why did we have to possess so much of the Good Stuff that I'll be Agonizing over Editing it even more severely AGAIN just to ensure we don't remain at Critical Mass?!?   I don't want to drop the ball you see in Determining what Critical Mass even LOOKS like?   Because I've done that before you know... had the Delusion I wasn't at Critical Mass and been so Proud of myself, patting myself on the back at how much I'd Edited and Purged... only to have someone Keep it Real with me in Truth and Love!  *Smiles*




You don't want those Rooms of Shame that you wouldn't dare to bring anyone around because you've Stashed the overage in there waiting to Get Around To It!   That's how the Garages look right now... and the Guest Room Downstairs... and Juliet Balcony Room that should be Morphing into part of my Studio Space and instead has become the Upstairs Catch-All for now!  Putting it all away or sorting thru it AGAIN for a more Editorial Eye towards it is just so hard when you're still dealing with clearing out the Old Property completely... I'm spread too thin for now to devote much to what isn't done yet HERE!




And yes I have Accomplished a LOT Here to be sure, given how many Fronts I'm waging the War upon to make Order out of our Chaos... so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.  But the Delusions abounded, no Doubt about THAT!  Like that Ginormous Museum Bookcase here in the Library Room that we bought just for this Space and to hold my massive Library since I'm a total Book Addict.  It Appeared to be ample to hold my Collection of mostly Decorating and Styling Books, I even thought I'd have room to buy a few MORE!  Yeah, I'm totally Mental that way!  *LOL*




Just look at said Ginormous Bookcase NOW... at Critical Mass... I even had to Edit, Purge, Sell Off and Donate some books just so I'd Feel I'd been Editorial about Letting Go of the Excess of one of my larger Collections!  *Ha ha ha*




And the Scarier part... is I KNOW there are some more books packed in those towers of crates and boxes stacked halfway to the ceiling in those Garages still!   And though this particular Room is one of the Spaces I'm Proud is almost the way we want it so we spend a lot of time in here... there are still random things sitting about in it without a Place to Be just yet.  Because No, I do not usually have Deconstructed Lampshades, Taxidermy Ravens and gutted Antique Clocks Staged like that just plopped against the Bookcase.   And look, even Spirit Orb showed up above the brollies to Survey what I'm NOT Accomplishing yet!   I sometimes Imagine it could be my Dearly Departed Minimalist Dad worried his Daughter has become a Hoarder!?!  *LOL*




Because really Girl, do you think this looks even remotely Normal Decorating Practice or is giving the Illusion that's where it's supposed to be and you really wanted for it to be?  *Winks* You're not Fooling anyone, every Space still has those random things plopped where ever you think they can be Concealed best so that if you do have Company, they'll think you are just that Quirky and not just Lazy or Burnt Out already with this Moving Thing!  *Ha ha ha*




And at least the New Home doesn't look this barren anymore and we're totally Moved In enough that if I didn't bring over another thing we'd be Fine.   But I've already been at this for Seven Months now... damn... how Time flies when you're trying to do too much, huh?  Why did I Imagine it would just take Weeks... when I'm almost a full Year into this and STILL not DONE??!?!?  No wonder I'm Tired, Fed Up and more than Ready to have it all behind me already!  I could almost have had a Baby sooner than getting this Epic Move Completed!   *Smiles*




But I don't even have to give Birth anymore... remember, I'm becoming a Legally Recognized Mom to the two G-Kids I've been raising and in five short days the Adoption of Princess Darkness and her Mad as a Hatter Big Brother will FINALLY be Finalized!  *Yay!*   Compared to how long THAT took, well, this Move has been expedient.   And so I Remind myself that I hung in there for the long haul on several Epic Life Changes... and this one will be a Wrap when the Lord's Perfect Timing concludes it.   So... stay up by Faith and know that it will Hold...

*******

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian 



4 comments:

  1. Oh Dawn......I think you are doing such a great job of getting it all organized and arranged. It took us over a year to finally get the stuff out of the garage so we could park our cars!! LOL LOL and I don't have any g-kids to raise.

    xo

    Jo

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    1. Whew, you made my Evening Jo, now I don't feel as tho' I'm abnormally behind after a big Move! It's been so long since we have relocated I guess my point of reference was hazy and skewed! *LOL* Today since I couldn't get to the Old Place to do any more work there I concentrated on hanging some Art here and putting some vintage linens in order. It does feel Good to be making at least some progress on both fronts... it's just that seven Months flew by in the blink of an eye, I hadn't even realized I'd be at this so long! *smiles* Thanks for the Encouragement... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  2. I do not like moving!!!!! Too much work.......too much unrest...and chaos!! Hang in there!

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    1. I agree... and I'd completely forgotten how much work, unrest and chaos was involved! Never again! LOL Dawn... The Bohemian

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