Thursday, October 8, 2015

Insidious... The Clutter And Too Much Of A Good Thing Beast



You know how sometimes you have the best of Intentions and you really, really think you're gonna follow thru with something... and then you don't?   Well, I'm at the juncture right now with the Unpacking Process... I keep Procrastinating on the two box a day Goal I set for myself.  You remember that Goal made with the best of Intentions don't you?   The one I SWORE I was gonna adhere to because I'd then finally make some progress at this Home in getting things Organized, Styled and put away.  Yeah... Right!








































But I had THOUGHT my Plan of Action would actually Play Out in Real Time... I might have even unpacked two actual boxes one day  *Smiles*...  I don't even remember really, but I MIGHT have... and then I went into a Deep Stall it seems and not a whole lot has been done since then towards that Goal.  I've piddled around a bit bringing one or two random items in that I could make a quick decision about decisively.  You know, without Waffling or having any Anxiety about the decision... but only because they were going to be a Kept Item I suspect... and I had an immediate use or place for them!?  *LOL*


 

Now to be sure we COULD Live just the way it is right now... and get rid of everything else really.  That was actually a Suggestion that The Man made to try to lessen the pressure I've put upon myself to unpack!!!  Bwahahahaha, like that is gonna happen with someone having my proclivities to amassing so much Cool Stuff over a Lifetime that unopened boxes would just be Let Go without even a peek inside to ensure I wasn't Letting Go of something I Cherish and yet hadn't unpacked yet!?!  *Gasp!*   Could you do that my Friends?  I most definitely, could NOT!




In Theory he's absolutely right, we COULD Live without any of it that is still sitting in those boxes in the Garages.  You know, the boxes halfway to the ceiling and strewn all over the Garages, driving me Crazy!  The boxes and crates that I have yet to unpack hardly any of really and keep putting it off. Why?  Because, well... it's a lot of Work and I don't need any more Work right now.   But, tho' I WILL continue to Cull, Edit and Purge as I unpack it all eventually, I will definitely NEED to Critique whether or not what's inside is a Keeper or I can't find any justification to drag inside or Keep? 





 And that means making DECISIONS, the harder ones, since only the Very Good Stuff came over.  And that my Friends is uncomfortable and not easy for me!  It's kind of mentally exhausting to make quick decisions one after another for a prolonged period of time I'm finding.  Decisions that for me are a bit weighty at times because easy decisions are light and you don't have to get stuck making them.  But the harder ones is a wrestling match of emotion and logic battling it out, and I can only do so many rounds of that in my Head!   After all, it's not Urgent that I unpack any of it really... the Urgency is in disposing of and Culling what is still left at the Old Homestead, which I'm still being quite diligent at, because I HAVE TO BE!




And so I remain Tortured and rather Tormented whether I leave it in boxes or try to make those more difficult decisions about each piece as I unpack each box HERE?!  *Le Sigh*   I'm getting better at it, I really am... but I am still a Work In Progress when it comes to Editing... and not having Too Much, but Just Enough.   I'm really, really LIKING Just Enough actually, and that has been my Motivation and the Catalyst for The Change... so I am DETERMINED to see it thru to it's End!  But my Timing right now is Stalled on when I will actually DO it??!  You know how it is when something is hard, exhausting either physically, mentally or both and uncomfortable, you find Excuses to put it off?  Well, I've become adept at doing that lately.




You are doing really Good I'm being told... and perhaps I am... FOR ME... doing really Good.  But it just seems like I'm Impatient to do Better... and Pare down even more so that everything has a place and it's Tidy and Organized and NOT TOO MUCH!  And most of all DONE and over with!  Now, in all Honesty there is a lot of Emptiness here at the New Home... Empty Rooms, Empty Drawers, Empty Closets, you get the drift... but there are still FULL Garages of Unpacked things waiting for the Final Edit and placement.  And I don't want to clutter or fill everything up really... I don't mind some Emptiness and not to be at Saturation Point and Critical Mass for a change.  So I Waffle on what I'm even bringing inside... giving myself some time to Meditate upon it and Ponder... well, that's what I tell myself anyway.  *Winks*




I'm still pinching myself that this Gorgeous Home is ours... Living the Dream... so I don't want to turn it into a Nightmare of sorts with any re-dos.  We all are really liking how it is and I want that sentiment to remain steady and abide as a permanent way of Being.  Because Clutter and Too Much, even of a Good Thing, is so Insidious, gradually and subtly creeping up on you until it's effects are harmful.  That's what happened at the Old Homestead... so stealthy was the Process over the course of many years, that you hardly noticed what was happening!  Until it was too late and you were constantly running damage control behind it... the Beast that had moved in and taken up residence... Clutter and Too Much of a Good Thing... and even some Not So Good Things!!!  *Argghhh!*





And then you end up in some sort of sic Relationship with some of it, where Banishing it just tugs at your Heartstrings and you wrestle with whether to let it stay, even though really you should evict it!   Yes, the Beast of Clutter and Too Much isn't ALL hideous looking to you, apart from the rest it can look so stinkin' Cute and have fond Memories of the time spent with it... together... and how you met... and all that Sentimental crap that it now uses against you in an effort to be able to stay!  So it's not like you can look at the whole and separate it from the sum of it's parts.  As a whole, in a pile or all boxed up it would seem easier to just pack it up and move it out!





But when you consider what COULD be in that pile... or that box... that you really do not want to Banish, or at least you want to give it a chance to present it's Case as  you Mull over it one last time... therein is the Agony of Defeat in some Cases.   The Man knows that about me, he knows that if I just put it in the vehicle and carted it off to some Charity I'd be done with it in one fell swoop, like I want to be.   But faced with the consideration of Donate... Sell... Keep?   Well, now I'm faced with three Options for each and every Thing in that pile or that box... oy vey... and that Process is much more tedious and exhausting on so many levels!  





 And yet I can't help myself, there are very few complete piles or boxes we've just done away with without scrutiny.  And I have to try not to think about those we have and Pretend there was NOTHING I didn't see that would Haunt me about not Keeping!?  *Smiles*  And The Man, well, he don't even want to GO there with the Assisting Process lest he Let Go of something Precious to me... because the Guy is not all that long on Sentiment, he could let it all Go he says... or COULD he?  When it came to his Stash and the first time he Attempted to Confront it with Pickers willing to take any or all of it off his hands he was met with the Agony I have been Dealing with!  SEE, it's NOT that easy, is it!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????





I could see the Value he'd placed on Objects weighed heavily upon him as he was trying to Negotiate a Deal and to Let Go of as much as he possibly could, and it was such a Struggle he turned it over to me to Finalize and clench The Deal.  For him at least once that money was in his hot little hands he didn't think twice about what he'd Let Go of and struggled with relinquishing, a Milkshake and a Nice Luncheon to Celebrate left him with Amnesia about it all!  *Ha ha ha*  Oh, how I Wish it were just that easy for me!  Turn it over to someone else and Trust them to just dispose of it all and be Happy with my Windfall from it!   But it's NOT just that easy for me, so I haven't... because I AM this sappy Sentimental Soul, it's my Achilles Heel, I Swear it is!





I fall in Love and get Attached too easily and too strongly... and once a Relationship is formed and forged, it's strong as hell... whether it be with a Person or a Thing, I'm Tenacious about Resisting having to Let Go and move on.  I don't Logically follow Dad's Sage old Advice about, "If the Horse is dead Dawn, GET OFF!"  *LOL*  Yep, I can hear Dear Ole Dad's Wisdom loudly ringing in my ears to this day, Dad wasn't long on Sentiment and was not only a Man of few Words, but a Man of few Things.  He was the Antithesis of being Materialistic, Clearly I did not Inherit that Gene and take after him!  *Smiles*  Nope, Dad's Native American tendency to Travel Light often wars with my Mom's European proclivity to Have It All and Display It Proudly... in the blood coursing through MY veins!  *LMAO*





Mom's side usually Wins most of those Battles raging in my blood since I take after her more in what I like to surround myself with.  And it's a Good Thing she's not here in person Enabling me, because she'd be talking me OUT of getting rid of some really Cool Stuff!  *Winks*   That European Cottage Cozy Layered Excess is just her Style so she'd see nothing at all Wrong with having Too Much of a Good Thing, nope, not at all!  *Smiles*





 You see, Mom was Fanatical and Meticulous about Cleaning and had made a Fine Art out of Maintaining it all, she made it seem Effortless in fact, even into her Eighties.   I Clearly did NOT take after her in that respect, nope, I'm NOT going to Win any Domestic Goddess Awards, housekeeping is not one of my strengths nor Virtues.  With this Old Hippie having a lot can get out of hand and look very Miss Havisham in short order!!!  I don't want to have Great Expectations and end up living in a Ruined Manse!  *LOL*





Yes, I know that I have an Infatuation for Ruins... and even for that Miss Havisham Look in fact... but it has to Look Just So for me to be Okay with it... not just a Cluttered Hot Mess that ruins how a Home functions and looks!   If something does not have a place then I'm definitely not Okay with it just laying around... and I'm not a big Fan of Storage.  Hard for you to Believe that I'm sure, but my Closets and Storage Buildings by and large remain quite Organized when I'm NOT in the Process of a Big Move, so whatever is in there does not look haphazard or like a bad episode of Hoarders.  Usually the only items I even want in Storage are Seasonal Decor and things I intend to Sell and are Inventory waiting in the wings for the Showrooms to have more Display Space to hawk them.





But I had reached Critical Mass and the Downsizing Process began in Earnest a couple of years ago actually and just ramped up with the Big Move.  It just seemed the Perfect Timing to be disposing of Excess and Culling, Curating and Editing the Hoard of Great Stuff that had accumulated and threatened to take over and manipulate how Life unfolded.  I wanted to have Stuff, but I didn't want Stuff to have me.   That Insidious Beast of Too Much Of A Good Thing cluttering up my Home, my Life and my Time was beginning to aggravate me so that it had to GO!    I had fully embraced that Truth in my Head, but my Heartstrings could still be tugged from time to time in The Process of Letting Go in an Epic Purge.





Some days its just too daunting to tackle full on... and so Procrastination sets in and I'll do it later... and then that timeline gets set back some more... until I know I'm putting off on Purpose what needs to get done.   And what irks me is that I'm NOT a Procrastinator by Nature... and I abhor when people are... so I don't want to get caught up in that nasty habit and be one of those people!  Tho' now I completely understand how it can become a way of Being... it's easier to find Excuses not to do things, it really is.  You absolve yourself from the responsibility of doing what has to get done if you but Procrastinate long enough in the doing of it that the Excuses began to even seem Logical and Justified!





But they're NOT Logical nor Justified really... just a Postponement of the inevitable... and unless you have Staff to get those things done that you really don't want to have to do, well, it'll sit there waiting for you to get around to doing it... eventually.   I do look at that Garage Mess every time I drive in... yes, I can still drive in *Whew* so I tell myself it's not gone past the point of ridiculousness and no chance or Hope of Redemption yet!  *Ha ha ha*  We can even still get out of the Jeep without a lot of contortions or anything... and I haven't driven over anything yet... but it's only a matter of time unless I get busy with it!





And I've even resorted to really Crazy Comparison Ideals, like peeping in the open Garages of other people in the New Neighborhood to see if theirs looks worse than mine?  Like somehow, if most of them are, that will make it Okay?!  *Bwahahahah!*   Unfortunately, only about half are worse than mine... and I tend to Compare myself instead with those with the Tidy and Insanely Organized Garage Spaces that look like The Love It Or List It Team just did an Episode on their Homes and they had Hilary at their disposal!  *Le Sigh*  I NEED a Hilary as my Sidekick, I really do, this place would look Fabulous in no time and she'd keep me accountable with what isn't Sane or Normal.  *Winks*





Because yes, I am Aware that some of what I want to Keep is not Sane or Normal, well, by the Standards of your Average Person anyway.  All the other Quirky People out there will 'Get' me and 'Feel' me on what I stubbornly refuse to relinquish to the To Go Piles.   Normal is overrated to be sure, but my Abnormal Obsession with some Odd and seemingly meaningless things knows no bounds.   And I disguise a lot of it so you wouldn't necessarily know the depth of my Addictions and Obsessions, especially when it comes to the Smalls that don't take up a lot of Space so I can easily Justify the Hoarding of them.  *LOL*    Yep, this Vintage Halloween Canister is just one of the many Clever ways I disguise a Tiny Hoard... it's in there, hidden from view, so it only APPEARS that I've kept one Special Thing, the large Tin!  *Bwahahahaha and an Evil Cackle!*





Sometimes I Delight myself in just going thru my Tiny Hoards, like a Tiny Hoard Miser of sorts reveling in what I've amassed!   Yep, Clearly I'm not a Well Woman, but I've come to terms with the Reality that it's how I must be Hard Wired because breaking myself of some of these Quirks has been highly unsuccessful.   But, the Great Editing and Purging continues nonetheless towards a Goal of at least having more Organized Obsessions that are more carefully Curated and Displayed so that it looks less Chaotic and can Intrigue Guests rather than Horrify them into thinking they surely must run an Intervention on my behalf!?  *Smiles*





See... Look!   Can you tell there is a Tiny Hoard in this frame?   I suspect you couldn't since I hadn't run a Spoiler Alert above you would just think, Wow Dawn, you're making Great Progress and have really Pared down your... ahem... Collections!!!   *Winks*   Well, I have to some degree... but the Garages are Telling of what I haven't yet come to terms with yet and in all Honesty I don't even know how much of all that I WILL be able to part with??!?!   Any Volunteers for Intervention Duty? *Ha ha ha... NO, I'm SERIOUS!!!*



    

And yet, I still Feel it's Good to be Me, I find some pretty Awesome Stuff, it's my Gift I suppose... and I hardly ever come away from The Thrill Of The Hunt without having at least seen something Awesome that I could have Scored or Rescued from an awful Fate!   Now, if only I can Groom myself into becoming a better Editor I can definitely work that in my Favor and supply all the Pickers out there with a bounty of The Good Stuff... and fill my Showrooms with it too... IF I can Let Go more easily that is... loosening my grip and perhaps Trading Up a lot of what I have with whatever comes in that is Better?  Yeah, that will be a Future Goal... well... AFTER I wade thru these unpacked boxes and crates that is... *Le Sigh*





Yeah, it's True, I have a lot of unfulfilled Goals yet to Attain... but I'm Workin' on it... well, sorta... some days... sporadically... with the Best of Intentions... I'm wrangling The Insidious Beast that still partly resides with us... and has it's Eviction Notice not yet Served... *Winks*



Source: Facebook

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Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


4 comments:

  1. Well you had a good talk with yourself now follow thru! If 2 boxes a day is too much do one! You'll be so pleased with yourself! What you've decorated so far looks good!

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  2. Hi Dawn....l'm totally with you, there's no way l could give boxes away without taking a wee peek inside just in case the crown jewels?? were headed off to the opshop for the staff to fight over hahaha.....l was thinking maybe you could bring one box at a time in and allow yourself a few days to unpack it, aiming for a couple a week, two boxes a day is way to ambitious for folk like us... we need time to ponder and figure out where that item might be best displayed (or not:-), l also agree that having the boxes stacked in the garage isn't ideal, my hubby has loads of stuff in ours and l can't imagine ever getting the car in there again if l added my stuff to his....anyway Dawn all that you have does looks amazing, you really do have a fantastic eye.

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  3. Oh Dawn....I had to smile at this post....it does appear that you are much better at acquiring than purging. In fact you actually could just leave those boxes out in the GARAGES (notice you posted more than one garage!!! be still my heart) LOL LOL LOL and go shopping till you filled up this new house and then MOVE ALL OVER AGAIN. Just kidding here....LOL LOL I know how hard purging and letting stuff go is. We just did that last year although I probably was a little more motivated to get the thing over with than you appear to be....but you will get through this.....REMEMBER IT IS JUST A PROCESS.

    xoxo and many smiles.

    Jo

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

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