Thursday, September 24, 2015

Color Me Upset And Frustrated... No, Color Me Mad As Hell!

Well, it's not because I WANT to be Colored Mad as Hell, especially since we have the Young Prince's  Important IEP Meeting at the High School this Afternoon, which will Modify his Academics to accommodate his Disabilities and focus upon his Abilities instead.  I am Optimistic about that since Princess T's IEP Meeting at her New School went so Well and Resources and Training in this District seem to be better to Assist the Families of Special Needs Kiddos.

So, I'd much rather be Colored in a Peaceful Zen Hue rather than being Distracted by Upset and intense Frustration at The System!   But, when you're Dealing with The System and a bunch of Agencies regarding your Loved Ones it is bound to happen and subject to Change Without Notice... and usually not in a Good way!

Ah yes, I got the Call Of Torment the other day from one of our Caseworkers, she's No. 5 Caseworker we've been Assigned in just a few Months from this same Agency, so just when I thought things might be finally in Order with the Adoption Process and they couldn't possibly Screw Up anymore on our Case or lose any more Important Paperwork she calls and hits me with it!?!  Clearly I underestimated their Ability to Screw Up yet another Important thing in our Process!   *Arghhhh!*

"So, when are you going to get your required Fingerprinting done so we can submit it for Clearance and move Forward with the Adoption and submitting the Adoption Subsidy Request?" she casually says.   WTF!??!?!?!?   "Uh, we submitted that IN PERSON to the Caseworker that visited our Home almost THREE MONTHS ago and Clearance should have been DONE within Ten days from THEN!!!",  I says, barely concealing my Alarm at this News that they now profess to think it wasn't even done yet!!!!!!!

Long Pause and Silence at the other end before she then asks me who I hand-delivered the Package to at our Home?  Yes, there was a Package, of much more Important Paperwork than just the Fingerprinting Cards, which BTW we had to pay for and Travel to the Inner City and spend an entire day getting done since outlying areas charged too much per card and weren't available very often to even do it!  There were Affidavits from every Doctor and Therapist as well in that now obviously Missing or Lost Package that is absolutely Critical to Proceed and comply with the new extended Deadline of!

"Well, you mean which of the Eight Caseworkers from Three different Agencies we've been Assigned in the past Three Months and have Quit had it first or last?  Crap, I don't Recall, there has been so many of yous!??!  But I know it was a Female, because the Guy Caseworker only lasted a day and one visit!", I hear my voice getting louder and more Menacing!   I had also ruled out the one Competent Female Caseworker we once had, she never lost anything and was up to the Job but Quit, I don't blame her.  So that narrowed the Field only slightly as to where it all now was??!

Another pregnant Pause at the other end of the line, "Oh, WE have a Problem then...", she says!   Duhhh, ya think?!?   "NO, YOU have a Problem then!", I respond.   I then regale her with just how many times our Paperwork has been Misplaced, Lost, had to be re-done and re-submitted not only twice, but sometimes three times already and how Fed Up to Death I now was that so much of our Personal and Highly Sensitive Information was floating around all over the place God knows where?! 

 Not to mention cocking up and greatly Delaying this whole Adoption Process and receiving Subsidies to Help defer Costs of raising these Children. Subsidies that we've never received in Fifteen years and were now Approved Months ago by the Judge and we still haven't received a Penny of!  Just when we get Hopeful things are in Order, they dash our Hope with more Screw Ups or Additional Requests that just seem Endless!  

So, I called the Attorney's Office that was Assigned to Represent us in the Adoption to tell them our most recent situation... only to hear that as Kin we shouldn't have even had to submit Fingerprints!?  I had questioned that myself but am not well versed on Adoption Law so I just Complied when the Agencies Caseworker Insisted it was. 

 Oh well, perhaps that will now work in our Favor if the ones we submitted at the request of another Agency that told us is WAS a requirement can't be found?   That's another Pet Peeve of mine, depending on who you're talking to, and differing from Caseworker to Caseworker, the requirements Change at the speed of Light as well... and sometimes you are told things are Required and are Demanded of you, which are NOT required or necessary.

As if Raising two Special Needs Grandchildren and Caring for a Brain Damaged Spouse isn't enough you're asked to do Complicated things that aren't even necessary nor Required by Law!   It is very difficult for me to remain in the Fruits of the Spirit when Dealing with several different Agencies and Caseworkers when this kind of thing is the Status Quo with the majority of them!

I'm just Grateful I haven't been having to Deal with the VA for a while since now The Man doesn't want anything to do with them because they Agitate him too much and set back his Progress because having to rely on them just makes him Despondent.  I haven't had a lot of Help from them anyway so if I don't have to Deal with an Agency that is ineffective and too much Red Tape, I choose NOT TO now!

It could drive you to the verge of Insanity sometimes when you have no Option but to... so I choose my Battles and which Agencies I can just NOT be Required to Deal with.   In my Perfect World I wouldn't have to Deal with any of them, but that isn't likely to happen, since all three in my Care always need substantial Medical Care.  Care that many Insurances won't or don't cover or have strict limitations on covering, so I have to play the Game in order to get them what they Need and we don't have the substantial Wealth to cover out of pocket or be in endless Litigation about.

So anyway, I'm trying to change my being Colored as Upset, Frustrated and Mad as Hell to a more Zen Color of Being before I have to sit in a Boardroom with a group of Educators on behalf of the Grandson, the Young Prince.  You know, the one who misses at least one day of School a week with severe Anxiety, Panic Attacks or Clinical Depression and Psychotic Breaks.   The one who has a Brilliant Beautiful Mind, looks perfectly Normal on the Exterior and Tests at near Genius Level but fails most Classes and most Educators don't have a Clue how to Reach?  Yeah, THAT ONE!  The one who resides most of the time on Planet R in his own little World.

I'm bringing in a Newspaper he was Featured in when he Worked as a Volunteer for the Art and Science Center and was Inventing all kinds of things at a level that the Professors Teaching there were Astounded of!   Just so that his Abilities will Shine instead of his Disabilities clouding all Judgment of what he is or isn't capable of and being Focused upon exclusively.   I don't want him Defined by a Diagnosis, nor does he.   I don't want him Feeling Hopeless about his Future or what he has to Offer to the World in the form of his God Given Gifts, which are Evident, but which his Mental Health Challenges sometimes get in the way of him seeing Clear of.

I've got a few short hours to get in a really Good Head Space and Center myself with sharp Focus of Purpose so that I can be his most Capable Advocate at that Meeting.   You never know how many will be on your side... nor not... so I'm always Guardedly Optimistic.  I've had to be an Army of One many times and that is not the best strategic Position to be in during any Battle to Protect the Rights of someone you Care about enough to do whatever you have to Ensuring it.

So far this Group hasn't tried to Pawn him off on someone else to Teach him so that it won't be something they even have to Deal with anymore.   If they do suggest Alternatives I want for them to be Appropriate ones for a change that meet him at his Point of Need and aren't just Warehousing him somewhere they send the Misfit Kiddos nobody wants to have to Deal with and don't prepare them for any kind of Life or Success outside of an Institution... and I don't mean a Good kind of Institution!?

We'll see... with any kind of Luck the Missing Paperwork will Materialize and all will be right with the World to get this Adoption Process back on Track?   And the Grandson's IEP will actually Help him to Succeed this time instead of being a Dismal Failure like all the other IEP's have been and where it got to the point with the other District that they had Zero Expectations for him and he never would have earned enough Credits to Graduate if he'd lived to be a Hundred!?

And Thank You my Friends that have stuck it out to the end of this Post to allow me a Good Bohemian Rant and to Vent so that I could Clear the Air and be a whole lot Calmer than I was at the beginning of writing it!  *Ha ha ha*   As always, it's much Cheaper than Therapy and much more Effective since you aren't just gonna ask me how I Feel about all that and slap me with a weighty Invoice I couldn't pay anyway???!  *Winks*


Blessings and Peace from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. OMG you poor dear:( Try and just breath and know that this will soon be over and it would all have been worth it. I will be praying for you. I admire you:) You are a good person.
    ~Debra xxx
    Capers of the vintage vixens

    1. Thank You for the Encouraging words Debra. I have taken a deep breath and gotten over my initial reaction to the news, confident now that in God's Perfect Timing all will line up and have His Hand and Favor upon it despite the Issues of Life making it not so comfortable. Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Just read this older post I missed while out of town. So many problems! God bless you and calm you and give you peace is my prayer for you. With love from Marlynne

  3. Yes! What Debra and Marlynne said. I don't know HOW you do it.

  4. Deep breath and burn some sage. Peace...and onward. Sandi


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl