Saturday, May 9, 2015

And Why Did You Think This Was A Good Idea!?



Okay, so since the Dream Home Drives with The Man had been so Enjoyable for us and going so well as a bonding Experience, well, the G-Kid Force began to ask if we could do it Together as a Family?   They seemed as Eager as he had been... and it was a Lovely Day and a Mother's Day Weekend, so I was Jazzed that we could all do something as a Family that they were all on board with and would be mutually Enjoyable and bond them all.  You know, rather than the constant Mediation between them that I'm usually Mitigating daily.  Yes, it seemed like a Splendid Idea I thought, since in the Early Mornings if things haven't immediately gone Left between them all I'm completely Delusional.   I can even be Delusionally Euphoric about the Prospects in fact for the giddy Potential of a Drama-Free Day full of FUN replacing Dread!




And why did you think this was a Good Idea Dawn, you might be shaking your head in Dismay and Disbelief and Wondering?   Well, because in that Perfect World in my Head we all should be able to get along at least some of the time as a Family... if I set it all up Carefully enough that they simply MUST have a Good Time!  Because it's been orchestrated between Nature and I that any absolutely Glorious Day is reason enough for any Normal Person to Celebrate being Alive and Planning a spontaneous Adventure with those we Love.   However... those Normal People who can make that Assumption don't have my Family and the absolutely Abnormal Circumstances we Cope with when throwing several together who can't regulate Emotion to save their lives and thus struggle to get along and play well with others!




But I wasn't thinking Clearly about any of this at the time... in fact, what WAS I thinking?!?   Au contraire... I wasn't thinking at all... I Desperately wanted and needed some Freedom, to have a Spontaneous Good Time for a change and not be anchored down inside for yet another Glorious Day like a caged animal with them all, like I was in Captivity and Serving Time!   I was just so Glad that nobody was Protesting for a change, or extremely Moody or coming along with a Pissy Attitude, right from the Get Go... and balking about joining us or having to be dragged along under Protest... that I loaded them all up Joyfully.   Well... almost Joyfully... since loading this trio up without Incident and several trips back into the house first, well, it never happens and is an exercise in extreme Patience and Fortitude.  You must Plan to leave way in advance of actually leaving or you spend the entire day just getting them all into the vehicle... since it's like herding Cats! 




  But, nobody SEEMED to be riding the Crazy Train this particular Morning and threatening to take us all along with them as they go wheels off the rails... so all aboard I says!   I Assume it's going to be a ride leaving Crazy behind at the Station?   To say that was an Incorrect Assumption would be a gross Understatement my Friends... I won't bore you with the Specific Details of just how Ozzy Osbourne it Played Out... but suffice to say the lyrics were spot on:


All aboard!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to Love
And forget how to Hate
Mental wounds not Healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train! 

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Yes... it did NOT go well for most of the Trip... but I Persevered... Assuming that if I held out long enough they would eventually HAVE to begin to Enjoy themselves and the incessant Complaining, Bickering, General Fussiness, Protesting, Being Difficult on Purpose, Cycles of Bad Attitude and Intolerance for each other's Presence... well, it would begin to fade, right??!?   See... I told you I was completely Delusional... and after we got clear on the other side of the Valley I realized things were NOT likely to Improve and now I wasn't having Fun anymore either!  In fact, Stress was becoming so Intense inside that vehicle that it was like a Traveling Bomb careening down the road... so in a last ditch effort I thought perhaps some Welcome Rest Stops for a nice Meal and a potty break might be in order and Calm things down?




Yes, if I chose a place that had tons of A La Carte Options and an Al Fresco Dining Area SURELY everyone would find something they liked and would want to eat out in this Glorious Sunshiny Day!? And since I felt ready to go into a Diabetic Coma by now from the Stress and needing to be refueled... well, I couldn't wait to unload them and have things right themselves and be more Balanced and Calm!  Yeah, when Pigs and Javelina Fly!!!!!!   And once again, why did you think this was a Good Idea Dawn?!?   Because I was certain everyone should be famished by now and need to get out and stretch... enough so that they'd Welcome a Rest Stop and the offer of some Great Gourmet Grub in an Endless assortment like Whole Foods Offers in their enormous variety of Buffet Bars, Juicing Stations, Pizzaria and Decadent Patisserie!?   Nope... nobody was hungry... and they didn't wanna wait for me to order and have a sit down outside to Enjoy a morsel either... and that Fabulous looking Margherita Pizza Slice was Calling to me like a Siren's Song!  *Le Sigh*  They grumbled and Protested using the Rest Room and looking at anything... tho' I KNEW they'd have to pee or suddenly require sustenance the moment we pulled away from the Mall!  You don't even have to be Psychic to know this... it's a 'Given'! 




And I don't know about you... but when I've finally reached Saturation Point for Tolerating BS and  Behavioral Issues that defy all Logic and Reason, even if I AM Dealing with the Mentally Ill, the Prepubescent Borderline Demonic and the Traumatically Brain Damaged... so try to be more Tolerant and Long Suffering, it kills the Appetite Dead.  And makes me Feel like Death would probably be Kinder and Preferable than this absolute Insanity that has now become the Road Trip from Hell??!?!!   I just wanted to go Home... but Home was a long ways off and I Stubbornly wanted to Salvage some part of the day since we'd already driven so far!   So we left the Mall quickly lest I want to abandon them all there at Whole Foods, which was very Tempting.  But not too far down the road my Sugar Levels tanked and I'm the only one who can drive.  So I slammed a Jimmy John's Sammi down my throat as I careened down the road, since that was the quickest meal to grab on the go without unloading them again and ensure I didn't go into Diabetic Shock.  While the rest of them still refused to consider eating anywhere or anything and seemed to be on some Manic Crazed Hunger Strike Conspiracy or something?!? 




I did stop by an Amazing Steak House in Carefree later and buy them all a Fantastic and relatively Expensive Meal... which none of them ate incidentally and just picked at, so it's all packed up in leftovers.  *Le Sigh*  And in hindsight, I shouldn't Care if they eat or not... and should I ever be Delusional enough again to even remotely Consider taking them all anywhere for some Family Time Together or to Attempt to Celebrate something... or anything for that matter... somebody Please STOP me!!!   As it is I am seriously Considering whether I shall take any of them anywhere in Public ever again after Today's Road Trip from Hell!?!   The Fantasy has been totally Corrupted in my Head now... like when a Dream turns into a Horrible Nightmare and you never want to Experience anything like it again for as long as you Live because it's just too Scary to Contemplate actually Surviving it!!!   Yes, Happy Mother's Day to me... and if I REALLY want to Enjoy it, I should Escape and not take any of them with me... because then it would be a Good Idea!!!  *Winks*

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Blessings from the Arizona Desert... where my Sanity is trying to be Restored Tonight... with the Help of a few Pina Coladas... Dawn... The now slightly Buzzed Bohemian

4 comments:

  1. Oh Dawn! It's not fair! You try so hard! I pray God gives you peace despite it all and a much better day tomorrow! Now you know not to try that again! Just one on one stuff! Bless you!

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  2. Replies
    1. Sorry for not responding Marlynne... haven't been online in a while, haven't felt like blogging... it's been a particularly difficult time on a personal level. Thanks always for your concern and coming for a Blog Visit, it is an encouragement to stay connected and not go off the grid for too long. Dawn... The Bohemian

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