Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Dreaming Interrupted



Dreaming Interrupted... dontcha just Hate that?!  It's my own fault really, being a Passionate Dreamer, because I tend to be out the Gate, rushing full speed ahead when even the slightest hint of Opportunity to fulfill a Dream or enlarge a Vision presents itself.   There I go galloping full tilt across the Canvas of my Imagination before I really even know if things will play out as Envisioned or Hoped for?  I already see it as a Done Deal with Wild Imaginings of how it will be, how it will feel, what I'm gonna do... in my unguarded unbridled Optimism.  Before I know for sure what obstacles or closed doors will stand in the way and crush or abort the Dream before it can even draw it's first actual breath!!!   Some things work out... some things just don't.

   


Yeah, as one door closes another one might open unexpectedly and extend what seems to be a Welcome Invitation and stroke of Good Luck, as just happened recently yet again for me regarding changing Showrooms, only to prove to be an Illusion... a Mirage... not meant to be either.  It's hard NOT to get at least a little Excited and have that Adrenalin Rush that comes with Possibilities and Wonderful Opportunities!   But I don't get just a little Excited, I get a LOT Excited, it's just apparently how I'm Hard-Wired and pumping the brakes is not even remotely in Mind because I'm always so damned Confident it will all work out for my own Good.




   I'd almost rather not be Baited or Tempted with a potential Opportunity that just doesn't pan out or didn't actually Exist... thus bypassing that sting of disappointment, rejection and frustration setting in again... I just don't need it... it is a catalyst for Bad Energy to Manifest and un-necessary Dramas to unfold.  I prefer to be a Drama Free Mama... that's how I prefer to Roll... leaving the behind the scenes Politics and equally irritable stuff to those who don't mind Dealing with it... I'd rather not.




I was just licking my wounds of the last Showroom debacle and getting Over it in fact, so to be Enticed with yet another one, an even more Perfect one, that I'd been Jonesin' for almost three years, seemed too Good to be True!!!   Yeah, I know... I know... if it seems too Good to be True... it usually is too Good to be True and then you Feel like a Fool for Believing it's Real.   But there I was, getting all Excited and giddy about what seemed like an unexpected Blessing falling right into my lap and right into place... an Open Door I was quite ready and willing to step through and could see absolutely no valid reason not to play out in my Favor... I was Ecstatic in fact!  

   


In my Head I'd already started making Plans... I know, Foolish stuff when you count your Chickens before they Hatch and all.   Especially when there are Foxes in the Hen House.  Internal Politics in any Organization always drive me completely Crazy, even though I am not naive enough to assume they don't exist just about everywhere and anywhere, because they do.   I don't mind so much that they exist so long as I'm not drawn into them any kind of way in fact, I want to be out of that Loop.   I prefer to leave the Posturing, the Politics, the unmerited Favor, the Wheeling N Dealing and all and any other BS that goes along with it to those that thrive in Drama and Game Playing, I don't have the Time nor the Patience though, so it just ends up pissing me off.

  


And it's best when I'm in Pissed Off Mode to just step back, re-assess and regroup.   To decide if it's actually worth wasting an iota of my precious Time upon or not... it's usually NOT.   And so though the Dreaming was rudely Interrupted when an Opportunity Presented to me quite unexpectedly just didn't work out... on the coat-tails of a previous one that played out in much the same irritating way... I went to my FOR REAL Happy Place and not a Pretend One... my Art Studio Cottage.   And it seems as though Spirit decided to hang out with me and allowed itself to be Revealed through the Eye of my Lens as I Happily snapped Images of what and where I Love to be without all the BS Intruding and leaving Toxic Trails. 




I'm beginning to think that Selling at an Antique Mall is probably just not for me... tho' for now it's serving it's very limited Purpose and is a means to an end... plus, I like what I DO... just not Dealing with any of the extraneous behind the scenes crap that goes along with it at times.   I have met some New Friends through the Experience and they've been an absolute Delight and I'm Thankful for that part of my Exposure to this Journey that has been a new one for me since I'd never done it before and have no previous Experience in this particular Industry and how it works.




I know I'm on a Learning Curve and perhaps this is all very Typical and Normal... I had been Forewarned that backbiting, favoritism and Drama can pollute the waters depending upon the mix of characters and personalities thrown together and co-existing.   I suppose that is why turnover is a perpetual problem and quite high, I'm always Saddened to see the really Stellar Vendors leave.   I always try to make a list of Pros and Cons of anything I'm Invested in and weigh the Positives versus the Negatives.  When the balance tips in an unfavorable direction, it's Time to consider other Options... I suppose I'm at that juncture on whether to continue and just stay in my own little Bubble and Sequestered in my own Little World, unfazed by whatever transpires outside of it... or do something completely different?

  


I haven't made an absolute decision yet, but I can tell which way I'm leaning right now.  Right now I'm spending a lot more Time in my Studio and at other places that have High Positive Energy that is Wonderful Fuel to propel a Dreamer forward and not hold them back, hinder or stifle them.  I know that I will always Travel and adjust my Journey towards that which moves towards the Light and Illuminates... that which Feeds the Soul.   So, I Trust that it will all be alright in the end... and if it's not alright, then it's just not the end... or perhaps just not the Right Placement?




Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

2 comments:

  1. It's Okay Marlynne, I recover quickly from disappointment and am exploring some options that I find to be stimulating, so who knows where the Journey shall take me? Dawn... The Bohemian

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