Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Living The Dream While Dealing With Nightmares

Life can certainly be filled with Contrasts... of Living The Dream while Dealing With Nightmares... often simultaneously.  We find ourselves with that delicate balancing act almost daily and each requires a certain amount of your Time, Energy, Resources and Focus.

It can Feel something like THIS... because it can be pretty Surreal at times... to be Happy with aspects of Life and the Enjoyment of it... with areas of Contentment and Peace... while also Dealing With Nightmarish Issues of Life as well.  Issues which can be Challenging to find a Peace about and you will never, ever be Content facing and yet often have absolutely no Control over and cannot Change... it just is what it is so Deal With it you must.

Lately I've not been able to spend more time Thinking Upon those things I CAN Change and which I can thus fit into Living The Dream by working towards that Goal of integrating them and formulating a Plan of Action.  It is much easier to spend more time Thinking Upon those things... than upon the OTHER things that CANNOT be Changed and are completely out of our Control and we're just at the Mercy of and have to Deal With even if it is a complete and utter Nightmare.

I often don't quite know what to say or do about the Nightmarish Stuff of Life and so I try not to say much or try to do more than I can about it.  I just Deal With it... but I have found that when you're Dealing With it your way, the others also having to Deal With it their way need your Help in doing so.   That is the really hard part of Dealing With Mutual Nightmares, because even if you're Coping... if others are NOT, it affects you directly or indirectly. 

And talking about those Tough Issues, those things that cannot be Changed, is not only hard and emotionally draining... but the Therapeutic Value is questionable in my mind, because it's like picking at a scab on a wound trying to heal and making it raw again and exposed every time it's discussed.   Things like Catastrophic Illness... or Catastrophic Accident... or Mental Illness and Lifetime Disabilities of any sort which are so very permanent that how you Feel about it doesn't Change how it just IS and will be. 

I've found that Death is often easier to talk about and Deal With than those things... where Suffering continues in many different forms and Creates Daily Challenges that are Exhausting on many levels and never seems to end or have a finality to it where there is Relief or Final Rest.   And so those deep conversations and Profound questions, once expressed, linger in one's thoughts... and aren't always Pleasant to contemplate or wrap one's Feelings around... because often there are Conflictions.

When something is extremely uncomfortable or downright Painful there is the Human Condition to want to Relieve oneself of the discomfort at least temporarily, if not permanently, just for Self-Preservation and Well-Being... to get some Relief and Peace rather than the Torment and Pain being Endured... and that can leave a lot of Conflicting Feelings.   Dealing with all of that, as well as the Relational Complexities associated with difficult or sad situations and/or people... things that cannot be Changed, is often Sorrowful and excrutiatingly Painful beyond belief.

To Experience it is to Understand it... in part... and realize that Life goes on regardless of what must be Dealt With... and the Healthiest thing one can do is to continue towards Living The Dream rather than fixating upon the Nightmares being Dealt With.   That's how I Cope anyway... but I cannot Control how others Cope... or don't Cope... and to watch them in their Struggle and Anguish is almost worse than Dealing With It yourself.  You Ache FOR them and yet Comforting them is no easy task.

Offering Solace for something that won't Change is so open-ended... I mean, how DO you give Comfort in a Grief or Misfortune that continues day after day... year after year... and has no end?  There is no Happy Endings to that Story... no Fairy Tale... and so it can Feel pretty Hopeless if you allow those Feelings to overwhelm you and not distract yourself with the Dreams and Living them as best you can during Dealing With an endless Nightmare at the same time.

I am so Thankful I can Manage to Cope the majority of the time and remain up by Faith and Trust that it will hold.   But I am also deeply Grieved that not everyone I Love can Manage that.  They haven't yet reached that place of Surrender and a Peace beyond all Understanding during the Storms.  They are not yet through with whatever range of Intense Emotion they must Express or keep Contained and locked deep inside, being left Unexpressed and festering.  Such things as being Angry... Defiant... Unrealistic... Bitter... Defeated... or Raging Against a Situation they cannot Change... and just Surrendering by Accepting and Embracing it for what it is... and will be... in order to move forward in an Adaptation of Living The Dream regardless of Circumstance.

Circumstances that aren't going to be filled with Rainbows and Unicorn Farts that smell like Cupcakes... because Life rarely unfolds like that even under Ideal Conditions actually.   And everyone is typically Dealing With something Truth be told.   So it's what we DO under Pressure with our Perspective, Thoughts and Attitude that must make all the difference.   And that is the Journey we're on Independantly and Collectively as we Do Life Together.

To anyone Dealing With something that is Nightmarish right now... know that you are NOT Alone my Friends... and you can still be Living The Adapted and Improvised Dream... but a Dream nonetheless... and finding Beauty amongst the Ashes... Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. What an amazing post. I am so into bohemian decor and anything velvet right now
    My thoughts of comfort to you today and everyday.

    1. Thank You... and for dropping by for a dose of Velvet Infatuation *winks*... I too have a Velvet Addiction and of coarse Bohemian is my preferred Aesthetic *smiles*... Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Yes - you've expressed this situation so very well and this is the way I try to cope too.
    Hang on in there!

    1. One thing I must admit is that by Coping this way you are much more inclined to be Living In The Moment and there is much to be said about that way of Life... it keeps you Present in the Moment and so you squeeze every ounce out of the Positives you can Salvage or manage to find in your day. Thanks for dropping by... Dawn... The Bohemian


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl