Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Great Pumpkin... Well... Sorta

Every October brings the Quest... you know... for The Great Pumpkin... the Perfect One as seen thru the Eyes of a Child.  This year The Young Prince had been unable to attend The Pumpkin Festival with his Uncle, Gramma and the Girls because he had a Band Competition Commitment.  And who knew that for the very first year ever in Memory, Stores would be out of regular Pumpkins... even Super Wal-Mart!?!??  *Gasp!  Say it ain't so!!!*  So... all that was left were the Hybrid Varieties in our final stop for the Night... which I find to be way Cooler and more Interesting looking...

But thru the Eyes of a Child... not so much!  *Uh Oh!*  After three stops at Grocery Stores that had NONE... ZERO... ZILCH... NADA in the way of any kind of Pumpkin or Gourd available... and after much pouting and complaining... he finally reluctantly Settled on this Hybrid Ghostly Specimen with almost a Florescent Green accent Hue to it's skin... he looks Thrilled, huh?  *LOL*   Gramma was indeed Thrilled just to FINALLY find SOMETHING he could Carve his Jack-O-Lantern out of and go Home!  *Whew!*

You see... there had been this sense of Urgency to procuring HIS Pumpkin that very Evening because we had Assumed he'd be spending the days preceeding, during and following Halloween in the Behavioral Health Hospital.   And without making this Post a complete 'downer' about the Challenges of raising The Bipolar Child and the huge gaping flaws in the Mental Health System... suffice to say that even tho' an Epic Crisis was at hand as far as I, his CPS Caseworker, School Guidance Counselor and Mental Health Therapist were concerned... apparently it wasn't Epic enough for Inpatient Services to be Approved... so... to say it should be a very Interesting Halloween would be an understatement.

And so here I was... with an unraveling Bipolar Child on the Edge... Jonesin' and absolutely Fixated upon carving out his Jack-O-Lantern with a sense of the utmost Urgency... with the knives and other sharp instruments Pumpkin Carving require!!!  The Music from 'Psycho' was looping thru my head as I Supervised the Pumpkin Masters Vision he had for it all, it was indeed a very Norman Bates moment!   This was not a very good Idea my Subconscious was screaming at me... apparently my Subconscious had a lot to Live for?!?  *LOL*

But that part went off without a hitch... well, at least the part about nobody dying anyway. *Smiles*  But it appears that Ghostly White and Green Hued Pumpkins DO NOT Carve... at all... who knew?  Certainly not me and yet he was adamant, and the size of the instruments to attempt the Impossible kept getting larger... until finally I put a stop to it saying this just was not Safe!  *Psycho Music getting louder in my head!*  This Lovely Hybrid Pumpkin seemed as solid as a brick wall in fact... and it was with much Relief that his normally uncooperative Lil' Sister offers up her Pumpkin, picked at the Pumpkin Festival, for Big Brother to Carve into a Jack-O-Lantern for her!  *Whew*

I'm not certain whether Pity had entered the Ice Princesses stony little Heart, being she Assumed, as we all did, that he was off to the Hospital for the Holidays to be Safe and Get Well and would miss Halloween entirely?  Or whether she just didn't wanna be bothered getting all slimy and working up a sweat so that she'd become a Mosquito Feast out there in the Darkness of Night with the rest of us {a much more likely explanation... LOL}?  Either way, he was Pacified... she didn't Care... and the Mosquitos didn't seem to want to Buffet on my tough old hide... Mission Accomplished!  *Booyah!*

And Luckily the Lustre of Pumpkin Carving wears off rather quickly for the Young Prince so he ended up not being that 'Into It' and his initial 'Halloween Wars' Vision of Creating a Villafane Style Sculpture went out the window quickly.  He was Satisfied with a Simple Vomiting Pumpkin... since that's how he's been spending his past week and a half... and the Transferance to his Art was Apparent... Art Imitating Life.   In the Morning we would be going to see the G.I. Specialist about the Vomiting Thing... and Deal with the Mental Health System directly afterwards... yeah, it was gonna be quite the Joyful Adventure... NOT!!!

I could definitely Relate to this Scene... it's what I Felt like actually.   Good thing I'd spent a Wonderful Saturday at the Pumpkin Festival with The Son and Family... well, part of it anyway before The Young Prince got deathly Sick at the Competition CLEAR ACROSS TOWN that he was at... and I had to Abort the Fun Day to retreive him.   But that's typically how Mi Vida Loca Rolls with this Crew and full time Caregiving of those with Chronic Health and Mental Health Issues, so we Adapt and Improvise Plans moment to moment.

So... now without further adieu we'll take you along with The Son, The Girls and I to the Pumpkin Festival at the Desert Botanical Gardens!!!   It was HOT, well into the Nineties... and The Son and Family were quite late in arriving... so he'd spent a long ride in a vehicle with a lot of Estrogen that was Feeling very uncomfortable with the weather and being Outdoors in it!  *Uh Oh!  Nope, not a good start... but we Persevered, coz that's how we Roll and we're gonna have Fun Dammit!  LOL* 

The Hayride TO the Pumpkin Patch was sans Canopy... NOTE TO SELF:  The Hayride BACK would be one of the Tractor Trailers WITH a damned Canopy coz a Trio of Hot Sweaty Little Girls picking Hay out of their shorts ain't no Fun!  *LOL*    But... we did get some Precious Kodak Moments... even of the Shy One... who abhors being Photographed!  *Smiles*   This Mother/Daughter Moment captured thru the Eye of the lens was Priceless and worth hearing the previous and incessant whining about how HOT it was Gramma!   Like Grammas can wave a Magic Wand and Poof make it NOT HOT?????  I dunno...

Uh oh, Busted... Okay, Gramma will Pretend not to take pixs of you anymore... I Promise... that I will PRETEND not to.  *Winks*

Now... the Other Two Voguing Diva Princesses have absolutely no Aversion to being Photographed half to death...

But you knew that didn't you?  *Winks*   But... in defense of the Younger Shy One, she doesn't have the Prepubescent Hormones raging thru her System... YET... and these two do... so it's Drama Queens all the way... yeah, it was gonna be a Wild Ride in the Pumpkin Patch, no doubt!  *LOL*

And tho' us more Mature Gals were having the Time of our Lives and having a lotta Fun {I won't tell you WHERE these Pumpkins were being held before we kept it Clean... Winks}...

Surrounded by all the Mature Estrogen being Embarrasingly Naughty by Nature... and Childish Estrogen Bitchiness of the Kiddo Trio, who were sure they were gonna spontaneously combust in the heat... The Son looks absolutely Thrilled to Death to be there, doesn't he?  *Bwahahahahahahahahhaa!*   It's Okay, I bought him a Drink at the Bar of the Restaurant to take the Edge off... hey, it always works for me too!  *Smiles*

And I mean, come on... how can you NOT have Fun when the Chickens in the Petting Zoo look like THIS?!?  Yeah, the Bantam Do's were Hysterical... and they're such Calm Birds that they didn't even mind the G-Kid Force of The I'm Too Hot Bitchiness descending upon them!  *LOL*

Yeah, give him Beer and Kettle Korn... that'll shut him up!!!  *Smiles*  See... once I've Raised them I know just how to Manipulate them!  It just takes YEARS of Practice and intense Observation of what Works... and more than a few Coronas or Vino for myself in the Process... *Winks*

He was reminding all of us that IF Dad had come... he'd be telling us which one of these Cute Critters makes the best Meal!  *LOL*  Yeah... The Great White Hunter AKA: The Man WOULD have been thinking that way!   Oddly though... one of the Girls, after Fawning over the Cute Chickens at the Petting Zoo, actually ordered Chicken for Lunch at the Garden's Restaurant!   *LMAO!*
And No, it wasn't The One you thought it would be either, Shocking as that seems for The Wednesday Addams Type Child who you would Expect to do something like that! *LOL*
Nope, wasn't the Shy Pensive One either... that had the most trouble selecting the Perfect Pumpkin that we all thought we might lose our Minds or at the very least be there all day while she contemplated this monumentous decision!  *Smiles*
It was this One, who was the Cute Chicken Petting then Ravenous Chicken Eating One once we left the Petting Zoo and got to the Restaurant!!!  *LOL*  Of coarse The Wednesday Addams Type One thought it Hilarious and suggested with a hearty laugh that the Petting Zoo Chickens ended up in the Restaurant's Kitchen!   But that didn't stop this One from cleaning off that mound of Fried Chicken like a Vulture... those Chicken Bones were gleeming when she got done with them!   I Guess Pumpkin Pickin' works up quite the Appetite!?!  *Smiles*

Now... The Son... true to Form since early Childhood... was trying to convince the rest of us that each diminutive Kiddo needed the most Extreme Gargantuan Pumpkin in the Patch!   For him bigger was always better and I recall many a Pumpkin Patch Pick where The Man or I staggered under the weight of The Great Pumpkin that This One picked out as a Kiddo!  *Smiles*  Ah, the Nostalgia of the Hundred Plus Pound Pumpkins The Son always honed in on during his Pumpkin Pickin' days and wanted to drag Home for Carving!   Some things never change.  *LOL*

I reminded him that This One isn't much bigger than a Baby Doll and she would be bringing hers to School for the Pumpkin Decorating Contest so we needed to be Realistic about the size of the Pumpkin she could schlepp to School by herself!?!  *Ha ha ha*


Of coarse, then I remembered the size of the Weapon he gave his equally diminutive Beloved to use for Target Shooting Practice in the Desert!!!!!!!!!!!!  Even tho' she looks absolutely Fierce, every time I think about the Visual of this I'm still LMAO!   You couldn't find a smaller more proportionate Weapon to let her use Son?  *Smiles*  But I digress...

We were pickin' Pumpkins in Ninety Plus degree heat... with an indecisive Youngster... two Prepubescent Youngsters who had picked theirs out at warp speed and thus weren't having Fun anymore... and a Grown Son who still wanted to convince us to select three of the most Enormous Pumpkins in the Patch!!!  Oy Vey!

Oddly enough, all three Girls eventually picked out their Perfect Pumpkins that just happened to be so identical in size and shape that it looked as tho' one Child had picked them all!  *Blink Blink*  How did THAT happen?  It was definitely a Stepford Moment!!!  *Smiles*

The Big ones we left behind and just used for resting upon while The Indecisive One wandered around Inspecting EVERY SINGLE PUMPKIN in the Patch... literally... I'm not Exaggerating!  *Smiles*   This is Princess T impatiently resting upon hers waiting for Princess A to decide.

She had Visions of her Big Brother Carving hers out like these the Old Men were Masterfully Creating...

And really... we managed to still have a Wonderful Day Out together once we got the 'Reluctant Ones' to just Relax and Enjoy themselves... like us more Mature Gals were.  *Cue in the Lyrics to 'Don't Worry Be Happy' ...  and then try to get THAT outta your Head!?!  Winks*

And they eventually all did... have a Good Time... sometimes Under Protest... but nonetheless a Good Time since Gramma Warned them all that I wasn't letting anyone go Home until I had SEEN them at the very least Pretending to have a Good Time since this wasn't no Cheap Day Out I was Bankrolling!  *Bwahahahahahahahaha!*

Because you see... when you end up with the Blessing of a slew of Grandkids... every Holiday... or even every Day Out spent Together... can get mighty Expensive... because of the Spoiling... which is every Grandparent's prerogative you know!  *Winks* 

I'd Gladly spend my last dime on all the Beautiful Grandchildren we have been Blessed with... and some days I Feel as though I probably have since there's so many of them now!  *Ha ha ha*

And yes, on the Hayride BACK we did in fact get the one with the Canopy!  *Whew*

Which meant High Fives all around... The End... Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

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