Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My Rabbit Hole Is A Hot Mess!

Deferred Maintenance... I suppose that's the best way to describe it.  My Rabbit Hole is a Hot Mess and it seemed that during the Great Edit and Purge I'd get more of a handle on it.  At least that was the Master Plan and Delusion behind major Purging of contents so I'd have more of a semblance of Curated Clutter and Clean areas recently spruced up and Glorious!?

But along with getting deep into a Project of downsizing possessions comes the stark realization that everything also needs a good scrub, a good dust, a good slap of paint, re-organization... etc. etc. etc... the list as you get further along in a Grandoise Project just seems to Snowball doesn't it?  Yes, that's a thick layer of dust on a neglected windowsill that I don't really have to look at until forced to! Today for some Insane reason I forced myself to and that became the catalyst of this Post!   Ah, the Shame of it all!!! *LOL*

And suddenly it becomes an Avalanche of Projects dovetailed onto the original one... and once a feeling of being overwhelmed and overtaken by it all... by the sheer magnitude of what looms in front of me pervades... well, I tend to come to a screeching halt to re-assess the situation before I dig myself in too deeply!!!  And distract myself with other things... like Blogging... you know how the Escape Plan goes when you don't wanna face something too daunting!?  *Winks*

After all... it's better than it WAS... so I still Feel some level of Enthusiasm to continue at my own pace, which seems to be slower than Molasses running uphill in February!  But there is that nagging thought at the back of my Mind that pervades as well... that by the time I get close to finishing several areas, it will be time to begin again at the first area before I even get to the last area because Maintenance is perpetual isn't it?

And the lazy part of me, who is the antithesis of a domestic goddess, whispers in my ear, what's the point really?  Okay, so you'll have perhaps a more Organized Curated place that ends up with Deferred Maintenance... but you KNOW your Maintenance is undoubtedly gonna be Deferred because this isn't all that you have time on your hands to do!   Point taken into consideration.

It is the Truth... even the Studio Great Room Makeover I'm so Proud of really could use a good dusting again... and that's the closest area of Accomplishment and The Victory I have at this juncture!   And I know that Maintenance has never been one of my particular strengths.

Sure, I can Style a Space to Perfection, get a lot of Work done against incredible odds and ridiculous deadlines, lose weight, juggle an Insane Schedule, wear many hats and multi-task like I've been given Super Powers... but MAINTAINING any of it once I've Accomplished it... not so much or so easy for me. 

Perhaps its the ADHD... I can be intensely focused on something for only so long before I just can't stick with it any longer because I'll get antsy and distracted by something else... which then leads to something else... and then something else... and often the inability to want to go back and revisit something again after I've already done it once before not so long ago!!!  Repetitiveness is not something I thrive on.

If you gave me a hundred different things to do I could roll with that much more easily than giving me the same thing to do a hundred times!   Thus, housekeeping to me is a torturous exercise in futility... sure it needs to get done... often... too often... and seems to be endless so that sense of Accomplishment doesn't last long around here.

In fact if I get a room to a point of feeling great about it and leave that room... chances are pretty good when I return to said room it will look like I'd never even been there before!   With the exception of those rooms that aren't used so much... but those will also be the ones the most Neglected because I'm running too much damage control in the other rooms continuously.

And before I blame it all on the Family, I can be my own worst Enemy when it comes to keeping a Rabbit Hole a place of Enchantment and not of Chaotic Disorganization as well.  Yes, it's also True that more than quite a bit of this Hot Mess is MINE... all MINE and of my own doing!   *Gasp!*   And since I Love my Home and the amassed Beautiful Treasures it holds, Ideally I'd like it to be much more Presentable, Clean, Inviting and Orderly most of the time.  Especially MY Stuff... since that is MY Responsibility to keep that in Order and Maintained!

I am not comfortable in a Hot Mess, I'm not one of those that doesn't notice it or am not bothered by it... but the Pain of that apparently hasn't been sufficient enough to promote enough Change yet, because it still Exists to some degree.   And I'm not sure why it is so hard for me, when for others it seems so effortless?   It's not because I can't Work circles around most people, so I have the Ability to do it and be most Effective... but in Application I still struggle.

I think I'm one of those people that needs to be able to do a Job or a Project and have it stay done for a sufficient amount of time that I don't feel as though I've completely wasted my time I guess?  I need to be able to bask for a while... I just NEED that.   To be able to sit there and see my Results and BASK... to have that spur me on and gain momentum and even more Enthusiasm.

And in my Studio Space that has been much easier than in the Main House... I have Attempted to Apply the same Principals I used to Accomplish the huge feat of the Victory I had in there.  But... it was a much smaller Space and I had more Liberties... AND nobody actually LIVES in there... so it has pretty much stayed in a condition I could Bask... and can continue to Bask and have it stay Presentable and Orderly.  And to dust it and Maintain it is completely do-able in less than a complete Lifetime! 
But in the Main House though there are areas like the Guest Room that are up to speed and I can have Peace about the Condition of since it stays Abandoned most of the time and is Suspended in Time therefore... there are other areas that are Intimidating and downright Scary as a Project site!

Sure, I could get some killer Close-Ups that could pass Inspection... but if I did a Panoramic View, Holy Mother of God and a Huge Gasp!!!   And there's always those other things that I don't even notice... until I Photograph something and think, "What the Hell??????" upon closer Inspection.   Like why is there a Photo Mount Sticker stuck on my Vintage Linens and God knows what else?  Humnnnnnnn... no telling what Idle Little Hands have been up to in Secrecy around this Old House?!?   And sometimes I don't think I even wanna know?!?  *Winks*

Now to be sure those same Idle Little Hands can be Gramma's best Helper since she Loves to Clean and Organize... which Clearly she didn't Inherit from Yours Truly!   *LOL*   There are times when she takes the Initiative and just sets about a Cleaning and Organizing Project frenzy long overdue and she's quite Content in the doing of it since for her it's Pleasurable and she's Wired for it... so unlike her Gramma!  *Smiles*

And I'm Glad for her that she is that way because perhaps she'll have a Neat, Orderly, Spotless Home one day that she keeps on top of and isn't suffering this same Affliction from?  Because I've come to consider that it could be an Affliction of some sort since Controlling it isn't as easy as just Wanting to?!?

The Desire of my Heart after all is Neat, Orderly, Clean and Photogenic!  *Smiles*   A place for everything and everything in it's place...  and yet... there isn't always a place for everything and thus it's displaced for a time... sometimes too long a time... and yet it's a 'Keeper'... so what to do, what to do?

I mean the Vintage Alligator Purse shouldn't be taking an extended Nap on the Diningroom Chair... but he is.   Because we don't Dine there and I rarely Craft or Create there anymore now that I've got the Studio up and running... so it's not as if he can't hang out there and languish for as long as he likes... well, until I start to get bothered that he's there instead of somewhere an Alligator Purse probably SHOULD BE!?!  He's not gonna be Sold, but he should probably be Displayed better or maybe even Used!!!  How about that Dawn... actually Purpose him once in a while!?!   Oh, you probably would if you could always remember where he even IS and didn't have to hunt him down or forget you even had him, am I right?  Yes, I have those Crazy Lady conversations in my head with myself sometimes, I really do!  *Winks* 
And perhaps some of you are equally Afflicted and can relate to this Post?  Or perhaps some of you have Conquered the Beast that is Chronic Disorganization and Deferred Maintenance?  Or maybe you don't even know what I'm talkin' about and just plain Curiosity brought you here to the bottom of the Post because you're Marveling at how anyone can Function or Live this way?  *LOL*
And there are times when I delude myself into Believing that so long as the place is Clean enough to be Healthy and Dirty enough to be Happy it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things... except that it does matter... or I wouldn't even be bothering to Write about it from a place of such strong Emotion!   Like... is that Persian Rug and those Kilims REALLY Clean enuf for that Child to be Napping on the floor and beside the dirty flip flops I was just Gardening in?!  Well, she's up to date on her shots so she's probably going to be Okay... See... see what I mean when the OCD kicks in too?  *LOL*  

Just call me your Deeply Disturbed Blog Friend coming to you from a Hot Mess of a Rabbit Hole you've fallen down in the Arizona Desert... *Winks*

Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. "Deferred Maintenance" Didn't even know that term, but now that I do, I suffer from it! I'd much rather fix up an room than clean it.! I keep things picked up just not dusted and deep cleaned like I should. Oh well!

    1. I Wonder Marlynne if we could start a Deferred Maintenance Anonymous Program of Intervention? *LOL* Dawn... The Bohemian

  2. Hello there...
    All I have to say is that I LOVE your hot mess of a rabbit hole!!!! :)

    1. Awwww. thanks Lola, it's nice when someone isn't horrified about my Organized Chaos! *winks* Dawn... The Bohemian

  3.!!! I am so cracking up over here - this is just so hilarious and scary at the same time, because I have a LOT of your....let's say......quirks? That's a nice word, right? I died laughing at the little one napping on the rug...and don't get me started on what would be seen in a panoramic view or how one project turns into a `100 unfinished I sit here, typing this, there is a HUGE mess in the kitchen, and my suitcase still needs to be unpacked...but here I am reading a blog instead. But in my head, I am thinking....well, I need to rest before I start all that crap...but when I do start it, I will eventually discover something else needs to be done too. You just crack me up!!

    big hugs

    1. I always knew we were Kindred Spirits to the core Elizabeth... that is why I enjoy YOUR Blog so much! *smiles* Dawn... The Bohemian

  4. Your rabbit hole is dreamy! X


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