Monday, May 19, 2014

We Knew It Was Coming... But... It Doesn't Make It Any Easier

We knew it was coming... but... it doesn't make it any easier.  It was in fact the reason for our Emergency Mother's Day Trip to California to spend some Quality Face Time with Mom on her Special Day.  Since we had been told her Health was failing fast and there might not be other opportunities to get together in person again.   My Brother notified me last Night that she was rushed into Hospital and is in Critical Condition in ICU, it does not look good.  She does not know who he is or where she is now.

He would be spending the Night there with her and would keep us updated, it was clearly going to be a long Night with no certainty she could bounce back this time?  Though she is tough as old boots so we don't give up on her easily... she's stared death down so many times before and beaten tremendous odds for Surviving and bouncing back from grim prognosis.   It has however made the decision to make the Trip all the more timely... to be able to remember what a great time it was and how much fun she had being able to spend time with extended Family again, perhaps for the last time.

We had talked candidly about the Timing and the sense of Urgency both of us had that Time was of the essence and probably quite short and uncertain.  Sure, we went ahead anyway and made Plans before we left for a return visit... but with guarded optimism that it would actually be possible... it was nice to at least think it could be.  Though in my gut I really didn't feel that it would be a return visit to Celebrate anything... except a Life Well Lived and saying an eternal Good-Bye. 

But during the visit we didn't focus on the Challenges and Possibilities that this story wouldn't have such a happy ending in a relatively short period of Time.  We've always been more of a Living In The Moment kind of Family, we've had to be actually and so that's just how we've learned to Roll.  Savoring the Present and Living Fully in the here and Now, fondly recalling the good things about the Past and not placing too much emphasis on the Future or what it could hold or what we might come up against tomorrow.

We just reveled in the Moments while they lasted and I'm so Glad we did, given the present outcome... and the uncertainty of it all.

As Time marches on and things internally begin to wear out and shut down there's really not much that can be done.  I felt good that Mom looked so Amazing outwardly and in her Spirit because it made it easier to have a sense of Normalcy about the Visit and less Sorrow.

We had also candidly discussed her Great-Grandson's Hospitalization, which we knew would be arranged the day of our return to Arizona.  The input from the Elders has always been Respected and Revered in this Family... and Mom had been a great Source of Wisdom and Encouragement.   In fact... as she was Hospitalized last Night we were Hoping he would be Well enough to finally get to come Home from Hospital this Morning... which he did... and for that we're Grateful for answer to those Prayers and God's Grace and Mercy in that situation.

The Prayers and Thoughts of all of our Family and Friends has meant so much and we Thank everyone for the Emotional and Spiritual Support girding our Faith and Helping us through these difficult and turbulent times.

We've seen Miracles happen before... some were sitting around the table among us... strong Loved Ones who had beaten incredible illnesses, harrowing life threatening situations, survived Wars and more... Living Testimonies that it's not over until God says so.

 And Mom was still handling herself with Dignity and Grace... still sharp of Mind and Wit... still very much Alive in Spirit and oozing with Character... as she always has.

Still clowning around and making everyone laugh 'til your sides hurt and tears streamed down your faces.   Still getting Corsages and Flowers from the Guys... since all the Guys who work at her Nursing Home just Adore her and always bring her Gifts.  She's like a Second Mom and an Adopted Nanna to everyone you see, she always has been.

She's had more people call her Mom than she ever gave birth to... and every little kid around where she lived in her Senior Years always called her THEIR Nanna.  And she treated every one of them like her Grandchildren so thoroughly nobody ever knew which were biologically connected and which weren't... or were random children from the Neighborhood that Adopted her as their extended Family.

 And even when meeting her for the first time you BECAME Family instantly.

I've had a Wonderful Example to emulate and that's also the kind of Woman I also Hope to be until I too draw my last breath on this side of Time and Eternity, because it is a lasting Legacy.

 We still hold out Hope that perhaps Nanna will overcome this most recent Health Challenge so that we can make another Trip back for good reasons and not tragic ones... only Time will tell.
Because we really did have a splendid time... and though Future Trips are in order regardless of this outcome... it wouldn't be quite the same without Nanna.

Or without any one of us present in fact...

Because no matter how Beautiful the surroundings or how Zen the Atmosphere... without those we Love it is lacking and there is a Void.

We Love you Mom {Nanna} and you are in our Prayers Today and Always... Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Oh, my! You're right. She DOES look so vibrant and well in the photos. Glad to hear your grandson is back home. Admiring your spirit and outlook on life, Dawn.

  2. Dawn your mother has the most amazing smile, reaches through the computer.I wishes peace and courage to you and your family as the matriarch of your clan prepares for another journey.One that we can't follow and I know how sad that can make us.Peace and pryers to you and yours.

  3. Oh My! Praying that your Mom pulls thru again! It's hard to know that shes so sick when she looked so great here! So glad you all were able to make that trip. I know you feel so good about that! also so happy the grandson was able to come home from the hospital this A.M. ! Blessings on you Dawn! you are in my prayers!

  4. Don´t let your faith falter, Dawn! Your Mom looks as a strong and wise woman, very radiant and full of Life, and it is probably that she can go through this difficult time successfully; but just in case she doesn´t, don´t forget that her Love and Light will be with you and your beautiful family everyday, no matter where she may be... Praying for her and for you all!
    Warmest hugs,

  5. Your mother's strong, beautiful spirit shines in her smile -- and how much you resemble her, dear Dawn. The Mother's Day visit was clearly an answer to her prayers. I'm sure she gave you all a special blessing that will shield and comfort you as her living love has done.

  6. It is so nice you had that time . It is alway hard at the end .I will be thinking of you . She is a pretty Lady.

  7. So sorry to hear. You have the right attitude -- we need to savor every moment. We never know how much time is left. I'm facing a similar situation with my dad. He's 84, down in Florida, and struggling now with vein-blockages. I need to go down to see him. Best wishes to your family.

  8. I see such beauty in your mother's precious face...inside and out....what a blessing.
    My thoughts are with you Dawn, during this time. You have the right attitude and the most sincere love. Sending prayers and blessings. xo Rhonda

  9. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time. I admire your courage and wisdom, and the strength which your remarkable Mother passed to you all. x


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

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