Wednesday, December 18, 2013

On The Seventeenth Day Of Christmas

 
 
On the Seventeenth day of Christmas my True Love said to me...
"Honey, we're having a Plumbing Emer-gen-cy!"
 


 
Yep, that's how the day began... like a Bad Soap Opera {Insert Theme Song from 'As The World Turns'}... and a mere week before Christmas... Fantastic!  But... it's not as if any of them gave me a Head's Up and told me this until we're almost ready to head out the door to drop the G-Kid Force off at School and head downtown in Morning Rush Hour Traffic to get The Man to another VA Hospital Appointment before 9:00 am!
 



No... let's make this even MORE Exciting shall we, by waiting until there's no Time to deal with it and raw sewage is backing up in both Showers and the Toilets are running over into the Hallways... THAT will be the Perfect Time to tell Gramma we've got a 'Problem'!   Yeah, how Surprised will SHE be ?!  *Arghhhh!!!*
 
 


You see, the Grandson is notorious for Creating Plumbing Emergencies... it's his 'Gift' apparently.  And somehow he Imagines that by Ignoring a Plumbing Emergency he has been Instrumental in Creating AGAIN, and not telling anybody, it doesn't actually Exist and nobody will know?!?
 
 



Thankfully as we're all scrambling "Home Alone" Style to get out the door to School and VA Appointments on Time, the Young Princess suddenly remembers, at the last minute, that she's forgotten to brush her teeth.   So, she sprints off to the 'Girl's Bathroom' at the back of the house... which takes her by the 'Boy's Bathroom' in the Hallway at the middle of the house.  "What's that SMELL!!!!???", she loudly proclaims crinkling her nose as she stops dead in her tracks in front of the 'Boy's Bathroom'?!
 
 


"It smells like a rotten egg!!!", she says as she halts in the Hallway where the odiforous fumes are lingering strongest.  Uh, oh... where have I heard THAT before?  As my Memory Banks file this Information and go into High Alert... with Red Lights and Sirens now going off in my brain!!!
 
 



You see, there's a Reason why we're on the Gold Plan with our Plumber... like his Uncle {The Son} before him, the Young Prince has caused many a Plumbing Emergency Nightmare... it must be a 'Boy Thing', I dunno?  All I do know is that we should have our Plumber on Speed Dial and the Tech is now like an Old Friend and will usually even stay a while and Visit after averting Disaster, we've become that Close and I've probably put all his Kids thru College!?  *Smiles*
 
 



But... there was no Time this particular Morning to make that dreaded Call... not just yet, with our full intinerary and all... so I'm weilding Mops, Drano and Disinfectant like a Mad Woman... moving Heirlooms out of the Hallway and The Path of Destruction... to get things under Control until we can get back to the Ole' Homestead later that Afternoon.  Since cancelling The Man's Appointments yet again is completely out of the question.  We went thru the first round of cancellations in the last two weeks when everyone was down with the Flu you see.
 
 



So... after said VA Appointments I needed a Mental Health Break before going back to the Scene of the Crime... and dealing with a bunch of crap {LITERALLY} and how much it was gonna cost to do a Hazmat Style Clean-Up and clear the lines AGAIN?   Which, just before Christmas, well, I don't hafta tell ya how Creative that Financing was gonna hafta be, do I? 
 
 



So, since my Friend Shelly's Shop RUST AND ROSES is just a few blocks away from the VA Hospital, I tell The Man that I NEED to stop by before going back Home to Deal with eminent Disaster, in order to Restore my Zen and hold onto what little Sanity I have left.
 

 
 
And to see what Great Events are coming up this week at the Shop... like the UBER CHIC European Container Sale December 19th thru 21st, which I certainly don't wanna miss.  Bringing yourself back to Center and away from The Brink is vitally Important when making decisions, lest you do it purely from a place of Emotion rather than Logic.  And boy was I Emotional by now, but holding it all back and in... I don't cry easily, but I was pretty darn close to the floodgates bursting and an Emotional Breakdown that could easily have turned into complete Hysteria.
 
 

 
With The Man's Traumatic Brain Injury he doesn't handle me being Emotional very well, neither does the G-Kid Force, they don't know what to do or say and Anxiety Levels for them all are already at Critical Mass with the Holidays and all... it's just all too much Stimulation for them to Process.  So I didn't need any of them to think I might be going off the rails again... you know, just because raw sewage was now invading my just cleaned Home and I could be facing a large Plumbing Bill I can't afford.
 




So... Retail Therapy was probably not the Wisest Idea... under the Circumstances... but I try not to be UNDER the Circumstances and instead just find a way to Rise to the Occassion.   Besides, I'd just tested the waters Monday Night by agreeing to fill in at Work on a Second Shift for a few hours to see how that might work out?  Nobody died in my absence... and when I came Home from Work four hours later the house wasn't totally in disarray.  So I was Guardedly Optimistic and still on the Adrenalin High of that brief Respite... yes, GOING TO WORK is considered a Respite around here!
 
 


So, Okay, since I'll be Hustling for Plumbing $$$ anyway, why not Treat myself to one small Feel Good Purchase?  This delightfully decrepid Antique Doll would be WAY cheaper than Therapy anyway.  *Winks*   And she was quite a Bargain from my Friend Angela's Booth and a great addition to my Creepy Doll Collection dontcha think?
 



And besides, with the constant onslaught of Crisis that keep unfolding I am Feeling like a Fish out of Water, still trying to swim Upstream, an Impossible Task and not a pretty sight.  How fitting that the Visual just happened to be mounted on an Old Door... in my Favorite Hue...huh?   The Irony was not lost on me!!!  *LOL*
 
 



Good thing I just 'Scored' my Old Door or this could have easily been an Impulse Buy... especially when I'm particularly vulnerable... so see... I still had an ounce of Restraint left in me!   And only came away with the inexpensive Old Dolly!  *Whew*   The Man was probably sweating bullets, knowing my Emotional State was not Stable enough to be in a Favorite Retail Environment with Temptations surrounding me and nothing else left to lose!!!???   *LMAO*
 
 



The fact that he was even in Agreement for me to stop by led me to Believe he thought I might just Break under the Pressure of what lay awaiting us at Home?!?   Since I'd be in Charge of the Decision Making, Budgeting and Clean-Up of said Crisis.   I know how Helpless he Feels with the newly acquired Disability not to be able to Take Charge and Help like he used to be able to.  So I Attempt to Play it Off that I've got everything under control... but I'm not certain he's completely buying into the Facade since I'm not an Award Winning Actress.
 
 

 
 
And my complete Meltdown that Morning had been a Clue that this could be the Straw that breaks the proverbial Camel's back.   I just couldn't maintain Calm when sewage was flooding two bathrooms and threatening to stream out into the Hallway and Back Kitchen areas and I was the only one capable of handling it... but with no actual Time to devote to it... so I was initially dealing with it hastily and on a Wing and a Prayer!
 

 
 
The Good News is that my Amateur Plumbing Fix worked well enough to halt further impending Doom... and our Plumber said they could be out within hours so that we wouldn't have to try to get through twenty-four hours without a functional Toilet in the house!   You don't realizing how Important that is until everyone has to 'Go' and you start to all become preoccupied about the next time you might have to use a Facility and where you will be able to 'Go' on short notice?  
 
 


Small Children and Men with Limited Mobility and Brain Injury are a particular Concern because when they have to 'Go', Time is of the Essence... so needless to say, there were hasty Trips to Retail Establishments nearby until we could get our Facilities up and running again that Evening!  Thankfully most don't have that 'Customer's Only' Rule or there might have been a 'Clean Up On Aisle Four' Scenario playing out!  *LOL*
 
 



So... the Sun, the Moon, the Stars and all the Planets lined up in our Favor... and our Plumber Visited for quite a while after taking care of our Crisis.  Talking with The Man and I about his Mutual Love of Hunting, Fishing, Travel and time spent in the Marine Corps. ... and Surviving his own Catastrophic Car Accident many years ago... funny how you can find out you have so much in Common with others during the coarse of a Crisis and in the Sharing of Experiences.   And so he gave us a Special Break on his Services, probably out of Pity and Extending Charity during the Season... but hey, I ain't Proud at this Point... and instead Graciously Accepted Favor with a huge sigh of Relief that I could Afford the reduced cost and now had Functional Facilities at Home again.
 
   


And I set about doing the Clean-Up, which didn't take nearly as long as I expected it would and wasn't too gross now that I'd put things in Proper Perspective.   Because you see, even tho' we live in a Hundred plus year old Home and have come to Expect the Unexpected because our Home has been thru more than a Century of being Lived In and Surviving large Families under it's roof... our Plumber Shared far greater recent Horror Stories of New Homes needing $9,000-$25,000 worth of Plumbing Emergency Repairs!   Wowsa... my meager Plumbing Bill and Problems paled by Comparison... and that Truly put everything in Perspective about The Blessing.
 
 

 
 
And that our Crisis was indeed Manageable for us.  And we have come out the other side intact and not under enormous insurmountable debt or destruction.   And that's a Good Thing.  So... as we move into the Eighteenth Day of Christmas I remain Guardedly Optomistic... as always...
 

 
 
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


4 comments:

  1. Sure wish I'd had your sense of humor to deal with a destructive sump pump crisis yesterday! Water EVERYWHERE (and probably spraying for at least 24 hours). At least it was not toilet overflow. SERIOUSLY sorry for your mess. Whew!

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  2. OMG! That's so stressful with the plumbing situation and all...

    Retail therapy tomorrow!!!! ♥

    ~pamela ;)

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  3. Lovely - lovely! I need that tophat. I love the way you make common things look enchanted like they have just stepped outside of Hogwarts, or we have stepped in. Door Knobs, do you remember the Bewitched Aunty who collected them? Enjoy Christmas! xxxx

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  4. So glad you have a compassionate and understanding plumber!

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