Saturday, December 8, 2012

The Forbidden Fruit ~ Holiday Torture!

 
 
For those of us who are valiantly trying to and desperately need to lose weight, the Holidays can be particularly Torturous!
 
 


All kinds of Forbidden Fruit abound and Food Pushers are everywhere!  *Winks*
 
 

 
 
To a Food Junkie a Food Pusher is particularly dangerous because it doesn't take much prompting to weaken our resistance & resolve to pass on something delish that you have made and want us to at least Sample!
 
 


And if we've known you any length of Time then we're well aware of either:
a:  You're a fantastic Cook or Chef so it will taste absolutely Divine so we're already drooling!
b: You might not be but you know the best places to buy the Divine when it comes to Food... and there it sits, right in front of us as we try to Resist all Temptation & your abundant Generosity with it... so you're beginning to look like the devil I must tell you!  *Smiles*
 
  
 
 
And so when I Politely Decline because I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my entire Life... you have no Idea how much restraint and willpower that is actually taking for me to say No Thank You!  So if you Insist and I don't wanna hurt your Feelings... Okay, so your Feelings aren't really all that I'm thinking about... in fact, I probably don't even care about your Feelings at this point, who are we kidding here Bwahaha... just know that you're contributing to my Delinquency and a possible early demise as I continue to balloon in girth like a beached Whale!  *Le Sigh*  And if you're a Skinny Hostess, well, I don't even expect you to have a point of reference & understand my utterMisery & absolute Jealousy that you can eat it and I shouldn't! *Sob* 
 
 


And it's not as if I can Deprive the entire Family of these Delights here on the Homefront either... NONE of them has a weight problem, they're all a perfectly Healthy size & can eat anything... just like I used to be before the Hysterectomy & Menopause!  *Grrrrrrr... and they wonder why Menopausal Spayed Women are Moody & Angry! LOL*  In fact, The Man and The Son have recently lost so much weight that I'm Green with Envy at how quickly & effortless it seems to be when you're a Guy to drop those pesky pounds and get into Shape!!!  And when my Doc says Chronic Stress could be contributing to my weight gain, well, unless I run away from Home I'm doomed it seems!!!?!??! 
 
 


And because everyone knows this is the Season to Haunt, Torment & Torture those of us trying to lose weight, or at least not gain any... there are a multitude of trite suggestions on how best to do it.  This Morning on the Radio I heard a Real Humdinger:
 
"If you want to Successfully lose weight and feel full, just Imagine that you've eaten a big Meal."
 
Okay... I put that Theory to the Test... and you know what Imagining having eaten a big Meal made me feel?
 
HUNGRY!!! 
 
Another ridiculous Urban Myth bites the dust...
 
Merry Christmas from the Arizona Desert... Where unfortunately Imagining Food isn't making me Feel Full... Dawn... The Bohemian

3 comments:

  1. Ummm....you did save me a piece didn't you?!?! I mean it's 2:30 a.m. here and now I am hungry LOL As for what we hear on the radio....our program had this suggestion, "if you want to lose weight eat what you don't like". Yes, seriously. I heard he's in the hospital after attacked by a hungry mob. Okay, not true about the hospital, but that really was broadcast. Seriously?!?

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  2. White flour and sugar is poison no matter what size you are. I am having a kolaczki for breakfast!
    I have always struggled with my weight. I was anorexic for most of my adult life. I understand your struggle, my friend. I am also happy to see you put emphasis on your health and not so much your weight. Always keep moving, drink more water than you think you can stand and don't beat yourself up if you give in to temptation!
    Dawn, you are beautiful. That is a FACT! Your smile gives the sun competition and your eyes are the color of jewels!
    Have you tried the Lemon Cleanse? I am addicted to doing it every other week. Fresh lemons (I actually use organic lemon juice) Grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper. I make mine by the gallon...2 cups of lemon juice from fresh squeezed or organic juice, one cup maple syrup and I forget the measurement of the pepper but I use a WHOLE lot! When I sweat I smell like an itinerant worker! LOL!
    My husband bought me a really good rowing machine last year, as well as a climbing machine. I have rowed to Hawaii and back and climbed Pike's Peak by now! Tee hee!
    I HATE shoes. Hate them! They are tools of "the man"! I actually run in my Vibram glove shoes, it's like running barefoot (like my Cherokee ancestors)!
    I know you are having a hard time. It is so discouraging to see your body do the exact opposite of what you expect it to do. You will be in my prayers. Just remember, you are a multifaceted being. Your weight does not define you!

    xo

    Andie

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  3. Now is not the time to worry about weight - put those thoughts on hold until after this yummy holiday season! Especially with mouth-watering treats like the ones pictured! Mmmmmmm....gonna have to make that!
    peace!

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