Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Feelin' Melancholy

 
 
Melancholy... the word itself sounds rather Poetic.   The Feeling of it however isn't Gracefully Expressive at all!
 
 
 
 
I've been Feelin' Melancholy lately... and a bit like I'm attending a Masquerade, with the pretense and guise of Normalcy in my days... when in fact it's anything but that!
 
 
 
 
 
It's a very deceptive outward appearance to be going through the motions of Normal function when your Head and your Heart aren't there or in it at all.  And I actually found myself drawn to Decorating in a manner of how I Felt on the Inside...  putting some Lovely Masquerade Masks from my Collection around the House within various Vignettes.
 
 
 
 
 
I've been trying to shake the Melancholy... and for a brief while I succeed... if I'm able to have some Alone Time, some relaxation and no additional demands made upon me that would be the proverbial straw that broke the Camel's Back.   But as soon as I'm back to dealing with everyone and all the stuff I find the Melancholy coming back as a constant companion... apparently it hasn't strayed far off after having been shaken off briefly... it just waited on the sidelines to return when nothing changes.
 
 
  
 
The problem I feel is that I can't get far enough away from what feeds Melancholy for long enough that it would just wither and die off.   You know, like going on a Vacation or having someone else take over for a while so that I could recharge completely and not be so weary and pulled in so many different directions at once.
 
 
 
 
I recently read a Quote that I most certainly could Identify with by Sociologist Barbara De Angelis that said, "Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away."
 
 
 
 
And that is EXACTLY how I Feel... out of Balance because I've given so much of myself away without the sufficient and necessary moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance it all out again! 
 Too many withdrawals without any deposits leaves one Bankrupt on so many levels.
Like tethering a Butterfly to an Anvil and asking it to drag it around all day every day is not a reasonable expectation, neither is it a reasonable expectation for one person to be tasked to do too much without sufficient Help.
 
 
 
 
And it's not as if I've been Melancholy Silently, I haven't, in fact I've been having Fits about it all... I've asked for more Help and not given the illusion or delusion that I'm handling this all well and without sufficient Help.  But have you ever waited a very long time for Help to arrive while trying not to Imagine that it won't come?  Amagining what it would be like to be sitting on a Beach in Bora Bora with all this behind me would be easier! 
 
 
 
 
I've even had the 'pack my bags and leave' Fantasy during particularly lengthy Melancholy episodes.  Not that it would happen, but an Imagined Escape is like a temporal extreme Vacation of sorts on the canvas of the Imagination.  I am however, a bit mature for running away from Home... I wouldn't get very far anyway as tired as I am lately!  Maybe just outside the Gate... and they could all easily find me there so that won't work! *Smiles* 
 
 
 
 
Yeah, I really do need a better Plan don't I?  *Winks*
Hope you Enjoyed the pretty pictures even though the storyline was quite Morose today!?  Morose... now that's another "M" word that sounds rather Poetic... but isn't!  *LOL*
 
 
Dawn... The Bohemian
 
 


8 comments:

  1. Dawn, What a wonderful quote there, and so true too! I often think if you are a sensitive soul you absorb the stress from the world and it creates a state of melancholy. I find that sometimes if we give vent to this and kind of wallow in it, using colours and textures, and scents, it passes of it's own accord. Do hope something sneaks in soon to uplift your abundant spirit! xxx

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  2. Take good care of yourself and your soul, my Friend.
    Your Friend, m.

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  3. *Winks* and *Smiles* don't mask your need, my friend. I see the overwhelmed spirit that lies behind them quite clearly. In my darkest times, I have found expression (and ultimately relief & perspective) in the words of the Psalmist - Psalm 22, for instance....So many of the Psalms are heart cries to the Only One who can really help. Here's an interesting post on the subject. http://www.journey-through-grief.com/god-and-grief-in-lament-psalms.html

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  4. Your vignettes are beautiful, but I sense you're barely hanging on on the inside. As the above comment suggested, the Psalms are a wonderful place to go at such times as these.
    Mary Alice

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  5. Thank You for encouragement and suggestions, I do find the Psalms to be particularly renewing... and also, oddly enough, those Scriptures where even the strongest of Souls had their times of Melancholy and need of a Breakthrough. I'm Hoping mine is close at hand. Dawn... The Bohemian

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  6. My friend Dawn - I wish recharging the soul were as easy as pulling into a gas station...xo

    -pamela ;)

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  7. I feel so sad that you are feeling this way Dawn. I know we all feel like this at times, but it is always harder to watch and hear when it is someone else. Peaceful prayers are being lifted up for you tonight........ ((HUGS))

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  8. Hi Dawn it's Kim from "Sweet" can you please give me a call?
    Thanks my dear!

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl