Monday, June 25, 2012

Quality Versus Quantity

Okay, so we already know of my proclivity to excess and to want it all... to gravitate towards all things Beautiful and Interesting... and the well known fact that I'm a lousy Editor, Incurable Collector, Sold Out Salvager & Joyful Junquer... so my Feathered Nest is bulging at the seams.

And so there is the Quality Versus Quantity battle that is constantly being waged within me and being waged externally on the Homefront regarding the contents of our Home & my various Collections.

And what I don't understand is why my predisposition and strong inclination towards something causes so much internal conflict?!

I mean on the surface it doesn't seem like it would become a very big deal... when I see a pile of something I Adore and have been Searching for it makes perfect sense to wade through it and acquire at least one... perhaps a Favorite or is too good a Deal to pass on.

But in my case one of something good never seems to be enough and is just the jumping off point...

And one usually leads to two... or more... especially if there are slight differences like Color, Style, Size, Bargain Pricing... etc... etc... etc...  *Le Sigh*

And certainly I do derive a great amount of Pleasure out of the things I Love and have amassed Collections of and choose to Style my Home with, so its not without Reward and a certain amount of Satisfaction and intense Delight.

And perhaps if I had a huge space to Style and Display it all properly and a Team to help me take care of it and keep it all maintained to a standard I'd be happy with it wouldn't be a problem at all? 

Yes, if I had a place for everything and everything in it's place, without the dilemma of acquiring that Perfect Piece and having the Joy of the Acquisition tempered by the Question when I get Home of where the hell am I going to put it?  *LOL*

And I'm TOTALLY digging it and Delighted that I now own it... so no Buyer's Remorse... and yet, OBVIOUSLY now the Question remains that this came in... and so something... or Ideally a bunch of somethings must now go out!!  *Smiles*

And that is Truly easier said than done... especially when you've accumulated a lot of great crap ... um, I mean Priceless to your Heart Found Treasures.

Yeah, so now there's the wringing of the hands as you contemplate WHAT must GO?!?  Because you failed to resist bringing one more thing into a household that is clearly already at saturation point in the way of Beautiful Things and needs a serious edit & purge even if nothing else EVER came in!!!

And though I'd like to be footloose and fancy free about it, I'm so not.  No, I am obviously not like so many of those Over-Collectors of Stuff that don't seem the least bit phased that they've got too much or refuse to let go of a single thing even when their space begins to look like a disaster.

And right now the Bohemian Valhalla Residence does look like a disaster and it will be an overwhelming task to get it in order the way I would like for it to be, so it's causing me a considerable amount of distress lately.  Because it's not just about Styling or Over-Styling and my Excesses and using Retail Therapy as a great Stress Reliever. 

No... part of it has also been about keeping depression at bay... which has been an Issue lately because we have been up against so much all at once... and one I'm not used to dealing with since I've lived most of my Life as an Incurable Optimist regardless of circumstances & I rarely cross over to a dark side of hopelessness and resignation or allow myself to wallow.  But wallow & feel overwhelmed I have been on occassion lately because I'm weary and so TIRED... and that is certainly a substantial part of the problem that I freely confess to and admit openly... I'm just not feeling like my usual Self and so I'm not behaving like my usual Self at times.  I like my Optimistic Cheerful Self much better, she handles things in the right Spirit & sees the humor in things, even if they weren't exactly funny ha-ha at the time.  *Smiles*

The part about me dealing with my emotions AND simultaneously dealing with my Stuff being maintained and Styled properly so that it would be a source of Pride and Future Income rather than a daunting Project to tackle would certainly give me enough to do and perhaps even be a full time job that I would have to keep on top of.  I'm actually proud to have Bragging Rights that I'm an excellent Junquer and have an eye for the Good Stuff... and I've never minded working hard... but I also like to work smart... 

But there's also The Family... the Bohemian Valhalla Clan and all of their possessions... which none of them seems to care as much about keeping in order and maintained as I apparently do... they seem oblivious in fact of the chaos left in their wake!  Yeah, I'm like the Farmer In The Dell... only it's not so much Heigh-ho, the Derry-O like a Joyful Nursery Rhyme around here lately!  *LOL*

And I can be and totally feel like a real Nag & Old Battle Axe about constantly asking... then resorting to telling... and then yelling at everyone to help, to take care of their own stuff, stay out of mine, tidy as they go and have my fits if its falling on deaf ears and meeting with resistance... which it usually does... and so many fierce battles are waged in the War of the Wills. 

 In fact here's a couple of Images of total Acts of Rebellion behind my back during an "Alleged" Cleaning-Up Sesssion... that I only discovered after I downloaded my Camera Card & realized The Girls had found it much more enjoyable to sneakily Play Photographer with my Camera {forbidden BTW since it's part of My Stuff} ... than to clean up the messes they'd made throughout the house while Gramma was busy working my butt off running damage control elsewhere.

And these are only the Images I could share with you... because apparently at this Age they find it  absolutely hilarious to take pictures of each other doing Gymnastics in their Dresses and the 'Panty Shots' it provides while tumbling & doing cartwheels!!!  *Holy Mother Of God!*   So... we also had to have "The Talk" about the inappropriateness of taking tumbling butt shots revealing one's Princess Jasmine Chonies... as well as why were you even into Grammas Cameras, which you all know are Off Limits!?!  *Insert me in my Role as The Enforcer... which clearly makes me no Fun at all. Winks*  

Gramma always wonders if this is a precursor and will eventually lead to them swinging on a Stripper Pole down at the Club 15 years or so from now?!?  *LOL*  But then again.. since I'll be well into my 70's by then perhaps I won't mind so long as it funds a good Nursing Home with a Staff that will do all the Cleaning & Editing on my behalf?!?  *Smiles*   Okay... so lets try not to even think about that and attempt to get back to a State of Zen & Calm... even when the house is still tore up... and whilst deleting all the Girls Gone Wild Shots from my Camera Card!  *Le Sigh*

And the Young Prince... well, he can either be the biggest Helper or the biggest Slob in the entire Household depending on his Mood & Attitude {he's a Pre-Teen... nuff said...} ... so since he recently left for Church Summer Camp for 5 glorious days, now would be the time to have one less to run damage control behind and get semi-caught up & dare to look under his bed... which I'm pretty certain is the Abyss that most of his "Alleged" Cleaning of the Room ends up in, giving only the Illusion of a job well done?! *Smiles*

Now perhaps some of you don't have these additional obstacles to your holding it all down on the Homefront Routine... or you're not presently trying to keep depression at bay as best you can?  Perhaps you have Spouses who are still well and can lend a hand when you need it... and either all your raising of Kids is done or you have the ones who are Beaver Cleaver helpful and low maintenance?  But that doesn't happen to be my Reality and so I struggle with whether it would just be easier to force & somehow train myself to be a Minimalist... just to make things Simple, if not Stark around here...

And Adapt to Living with as little as possible so that I could easily keep it together and make it copacetic to how this Crew rolls.  Because The Man isn't getting any Healthier or Younger and my attempts to change the G-Kid Force's habits and behaviors is just so tiring that it's wearing me out at this Season of Life & there's still a lotta years to go before we get them Raised and have an Empty Nest with just us two puttering around.


And though realistically I don't NEED another thing to be added... I hesitate to cancel out my Love of Junquing Activities because it's one of the few things I still do for myself that I absolutely enjoy more than anything else. 

Because when you become a Custodial Grandparent and/or have a Spouse or Child(ren) with significant Health issues your Social Engagements tend to dry up since your Contemporaries aren't dealing with that so their Lifestyle and yours don't have so many parallels and your freedom-factor has significant limitations on even accepting Invitations.

And though you might have worked hard at Successful Careers and enjoyed a level of Prosperity, once Retired and on a fixed income, if still raising Children and having significant Medical Expenses long enough, that means that Frugality, Going Green, Junquing, Hustling, seeking out Deals and Creating your own Beauty becomes a way of Life out of necessity... and I've become quite adept at it.

And I've found that flipping good stuff that other peeps also enjoy can produce much needed additional income.  Because if you have Nothing then you can't sell that when you need some extra cash. *Winks*  But, so long as I have a Hoard of Beautiful Stuff that has Value and some meat still left on the bone if I have to let it go... well, it can be flipped & turned into Financial Liquidity... so it is still more of an asset than a liability even if I'm tripping over it at Home at times and at a loss on having a perfect place for each item.

And so I'll attempt to Silence those internal and external conflicts which arise about the Stuff... and try to view it more as a Tool than simply an Aesthetic I happen to enjoy but have too much of right at the moment to properly maintain & adequately Style and Display.  And just continue to work on the Balance of  Quality Versus Quantity Issue when doing my Picking & Junquing so that I don't become too overwhelmed by the magnitude of that plus the Issues of Life I'm dealing with and have no control over & aren't likely to change.

Knowing that each Door that Opens can provide Opportunity, but also additional Responsibilities... and be discerning about which ones I chose to accept, walk through and make a part of my Life & use valuable resources of Time, Treasures, Talent and Energy upon.  And having this Wonderful Land Of Blog to use as my Personal Journal and Journey... when I need to put any of it into Words or Images and Share the Stories. 

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Be Well... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. My dear Dawn,
    I wish I was there to give you a big hug. You are such a caregiver. But you need to remember, if momma ain't happy, no one is happy. Give yourself a break girlfriend. DON'T give up what you love and what you're so passionate about...junkin. Keep that for yourself.

    Bless you. Hug, Joyce

  2. I'm reading between the lines - maybe reading too MUCH between the lines....Anyhow, I'm praying for Divine Direction and His SuperHuman Energy for you, Dawn. As you journal your thoughts, listen to the voice of God's Holy Spirit and do what HE tells you to do. He won't ask you to do anything that is "beyond" you. Your collections are beautiful, but if He should ever ask you to part with them, I truly believe He will replace it with SOMEthing far more valuable.

  3. Då var jag tillbaka igen och tittar på dina inspirerande bilder.
    Söta barn.

  4. You're are definitely doing something right!! Your grandchildren are learning so much from you and so lucky to have you. Do remember to take good care of YOU first:-)


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

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