Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Welcome To My Nightmare...

On numerous occassions I've had Blog Friends and those that don't know me that well say that they'd Love for me to give them a virtual tour of our Home... and the reason that hasn't happened is that it would be more like "Welcome To My Nightmare!"

You see, though there are enclaves of our Home that are in order, tidy and clean... there is much more of it that is a total disaster area and a wreck... in fact, it should be declared a National Disaster Area in need of Federal Funding!  *LOL*

I often feel that my Home and I are a bit like my ten dollar Boudoir Doll, Jolie... with the remnants and possibilities of restored Loveliness and the trappings of Lovely things... but rather a Hot Mess right now!  *Winks* 

Definitely showing the signs of wear and tear, Age, daily living challenges over Time and deferred maintenance...

I Love Old Things... I Love my Old Home... I even enjoy the privilege of growing Older... but with Age comes some limitations, deterioration and benign neglect. 

With an Old House full of Beautiful Things and a lot of People comes a lot of Work, Maintenance and Time spent caring for it all... or trying to... and with the Issues of Life, Aging and various Crisis thrown in for good measure... keeping on top of it all and holding it all down can become overwhelming at times and a tall order.

To whom much is given, much is required... and I've been Blessed with much in Life... but the taking care of it all can be a particular challenge... because though some peeps Love to clean and organize... I confess that I do not.

No matter how much I try, it's just not one of my strengths to be domestically inclined... or good at running damage control behind a busy, full household adept at trashing a clean, tidy Home in a heartbeat.  Perhaps if I lived alone I might be better at it, but that isn't likely to happen, I've never lived alone and actually enjoy a full House of Loved ones, even with it's particular domestic challenges.

And I'm not even laying it all on them... I am by Nature a Collector of Stuff... of Beautiful and Old Things in particular... and the Hoard of my Lovelies contributes much to the disarray and clutter. Which is why we're currently having the Great Edit & Purge of 2012 and beyond!  *Winks*  There are things I want to keep but currently don't have a particular place for and so they sit about... waiting for a Decorating Project and to be put into Use and Function.  And there is even more stuff sitting around awaiting their turn to be Sold in my Booth... but at least those things are on their way out...

There are times when in order to give you even snippets of Our Home here in the Land of Blog I have had to do some foofing & cleaning first of just that area because the eye of the lens is not at all  forgiving.  Just ask anyone whose ever had a Photo taken and then stared back in horror at the imperfections it brings to glaring light and gives you a reality check!  *LOL* 

Or taken that Photo for a Blog Post and then when time to Edit realize it just isn't acceptable to use, because Holy Mother Of God, I didn't even see or realize how: dusty, dirty, untidy, __________ {you fill in the blank} things were until confronted by it in a blown up Image staring you down on the Computer Monitor!!!  *Gack!!!* 

Yeah, though I strive to have a clean, Zen environment here at the Ole' Homestead, well, it rarely works out quite that way as I envision it in my head and Fantasies.   My Reality is very rarely lining up with my Vision lately and so the two battle it out and this often becomes the battleground... behind closed doors.

And Thankfully I have developed the Capacity to Live in a Mess and not allow it to drive me totally crazy all of the time... and just roll with it and do my best to keep on top of what I can and not obsess about the rest and what doesn't change even with the best of intentions.

And I've come to suspect that I'm not the only one... I used to think I was... I used to think the rest of you had these perfect Households and Family where everything was clean, tidy, organized and serene all of the time and everyone worked in cooperation to accomplish the Vision in total Unity... and perhaps some of you even do & I totally applaud and envy you in fact.  *Smiles*

But my Reality is that this is not the Bohemian Valhalla Clan at all... we struggle with all of that... all of the time it seems.   So we often spot clean and clear off our Spaces to have those awesome Tea Parties and Gatherings... and those that know us well have become accustomed to our Home as it is, during the ups and the downs of daily Living & our domestic imperfections.

And I don't take for granted that we have so much and are so abundantly Blessed.  Since we live in the oldest part of Town there are many of the Poor that live among us and we often see the lack that poverty inflicts upon some of our Neighbors.

And it is important for us to Love our Neighbors as ourselves... and it is a Joy when you can be a Blessing & Share abundance and meet others at their point of need.  And you never know when you will be given that Opportunity to be a Blessing instead of just being Blessed.

Yesterday Princess T brought over one of her Best Friends, a precious little Girl the Age of 4 who plays with her often.  We had noticed that this Child often has no shoes... and yesterday our temps were 110 degrees and this Child was barefoot... enduring the burning pavement & asphalt without a wimper or complaint. 

Just as Happy, Joyful and Carefree as all Children tend to be.  Now, I personally go barefoot all the time by Choice and have feet like Tarzan, but in the fiercest of Arizona temps the pavement is too hot for even me with my old caloused feet!  And so I asked where her shoes were and if her feet hurt from how hot it was?

She confessed that her feet were indeed hurting and hot and she looked down, I knew... I realized that there were probably no shoes for her to wear.  And so Princess T and I found some of the Princess's prettiest sneakers that sparkle with design & light up that she had outgrown... and some frilly socks... and gave them to her Friend.

She lit up as we put them on... you would have thought these Shoes were pure Gold... and for someone with no Shoes perhaps they were just that Precious & Priceless. 

And I do Believe that the Joy we experienced in the Giving was just as Intense as her Joy in Receiving, because isn't Giving just Grand?!?  And with her new Shoes on off the two Girls Merrily skipped down the Road, holding hands & Happy as two little Clams at High Tide!

And that is when it really hit me that our Friends, Family & Guests probably aren't so much impressed or interested in how clean or tidy our Home is or what we have or don't have in it... but that it is always Inviting & filled with a Welcome, Warmth and Love extended towards each of them...

After all, the People and Memories that make a Home are the best accessory of all and something that cannot be bought... because it's Priceless!

And if, like me, you can sometimes be a little hard on yourself because your Home doesn't line up with how you'd like for it to be all of the time... or even some of the time...

And in spite of trying to do better it just sometimes still ends up as a "Welcome To My Nightmare" scenario that you might be embarrassed or ashamed about and certainly wouldn't include those Images in a Blog Post or be able to do a Virtual Tour of the whole House. *LOL*

Just remember that those who hold you nearest and Dearest to their Hearts probably aren't as focused on it as you are... and they probably Cherish the Simple Joys and Memories you Create Together far more, aside from Time spent cleaning and organizing which isn't really all that Memorable. *Winks*   The Young Prince will certainly recall the day we found that enormous Lemon on the ground under a Citrus Tree on the way Home from School more than he'll recall the last time we cleaned & organized the House.  *Smiles*

And the G-Kid Force will likely more fondly recall the many Artful Projects and Adventures we enjoyed Together far more than any time we spent on housework and yardwork.

And each of us Enjoys what we Enjoy most and seem hardwired to be good at... mine tends to be Creating and Art rather than Domestic Projects that others may Enjoy far more than I and have a knack for doing almost effortlessly because it brings them Joy and a sense of personal satisfaction or accomplishment.   I seriously doubt however that I will ever be a Clean Freak... it's just not in me and it can make me uncomfortable to not be able to just have a laid back attitude about being in a House, any House... I'd rather everyone felt comfortable in our Home and not think 'Housekeeping' {that would be me, Winks} will have a meltdown if things don't stay perfect & like a Magazine Spread.

And I realize that at least for me, I'd much rather have a messy Home full of Love than an immaculate one devoid of it.  Though I am certainly striving to reach a Healthy Balance of both Love Filled and Cleaner... *Winks*  And in due Time perhaps I will finally arrive at that Goal...

And if and when that Time comes perhaps I will then be able to give you that Virtual Tour you requested of my Home without shame or embarrassment because of the wrecked parts, the parts I have failed to keep clean or tidy and would be too humiliating to make Public in a Blog Post... *Smiles*

So you'll have to be satisfied, for now, with the snippets of our Home caught in Images through the eye of my lens... those parts that up close and edited don't look half bad and hide 'the rest'. *LOL*

Because carefully Chosen and Edited you can make almost anything look decent and good can't you? *Smiles*  And I've come to realize that this Land of Blog is that part of our Fantasy, our Lives and our Dreams that we would like to Share of ourselves... and may not be totally Reality based... almost more like a Fairy Tale or Idealized Vision and Version of our Lives as we'd like them to be in a Perfect World ... like the Pages of a Favorite Book or Magazine.

And you can get a sense of our Lives, of our Passions, our Style and Lifestyle via our Blogs... but it's not the whole picture by any means... for any of us.  And I think part of the Appeal of Blogging is that most Blogs, even if they keep it totally Real & stay True to Self, Share mostly the things that make us Smile, make us Happy, make our Hearts Sing and our Spirits Soar... and that is so worth Sharing.  Most of the Messy parts of Life are difficult enough to endure in daily Living without having to focus on it for a Blog Post and reveal it to the World at large. *Smiles*

And if one day we get to know each other better and in Person, outside of the Ideal Land Of Blog, you are certainly Welcome to do the "Real" Tour and be Welcomed to my Nightmare and see the whole picture, no holds barred!!! *Winks*

If you are willing to overlook a multitude of flaws and shortcomings and just enjoy what is good about our Home and cultivate our Relationship in a meaningful way, beyond just the stuff & fluff of Life.  *Smiles*

And for those of you who are Domestic goddesses and truly Enjoy cleaning and organizing... well, I'd be Delighted if you could help a Sista out!!!???  *LOL*   Because I've certainly got some issues here at the Ole' Homestead... and it's seriously in need of a Merry Maids Intervention of epic proportions!

Blessings & Love from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. I love the sound of the "great purge and edit of 2012". I just did one in 2011 and got rid of tons of things.
    Your Friend, who loves to clean and organize, m.

  2. You were typing this post as I was making piles of clothes from my closet to give away, oh, and some purses. Purging is good every once in a while.

    My studio is another story, I only have out what I need. It's still crowded in there but I love all my collectibles and supplies around me when I create. It's my space and I don't try to explain it, some get it, some don't. That's life, right?

    Great post, Dawn. You put so much thought into your message. Your home is where the heart is.

  3. Wow, you covered a lot of ground in this post, literally and figuratively. I think your home would be a lot like my sister's. Not in style, but in fascination. I love to go in her home because there is always something so interesting to see. I told her that when she dies, she must leave her home intact like a museum! Maybe you should do that, too!

    Your observations about blogging and bloggers were very interesting. I wonder how many of us who are cyber friends would be friends in person. I think certain friendships are context specific. For example, I had several good friends at work, but I knew when I retired that those friendships were specific to work and would not carry over into my retired life. When I lived overseas, I had friendships that lasted after many moves, and friendships that were specific to the various countries I lived in. Probably it's the same with blog friends. Some of us meet and like each other because our blogs connect us in some way that is unique and would not carry over into our physical lives. Others of us would be friends no matter what.

    Thanks for a very thought provoking post! And yes, I think all of us would be fascinated by your home and not at all concerned about the tidiness or lack thereof!

  4. You have given Miss T a lesson of true value when the shoes and socks were gifted to the girl without. Bless your heart!! That will be a memory that will last foreven in that young mind.
    Have a great day.
    Always, Queenie


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl